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Severe Punishment/Abuse - 5/21/2014 9:11:40 AM   
Ladytisha


Posts: 112
Joined: 6/3/2013
Status: offline 		Have a Question, Hoping for some wonderful Feedback. When Does A Severe Spanking become Abuse?













All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

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RE: Severe Punishment/Abuse - 5/21/2014 10:26:24 AM   
InHisHeart


Posts: 630
Joined: 3/22/2014
Status: offline 		That's a difficult question to answer. IMO, depends on what severe is to each individual and if that person sees it as abusive. What's severe to others might not be severe to me. I have punishment hard limits, if he were to cross them knowing they're a hard limit of mine, I would see it as physical and/or emotional abuse.

IHH

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RE: Severe Punishment/Abuse - 5/21/2014 10:29:11 AM   
Ladytisha


Posts: 112
Joined: 6/3/2013
Status: offline 		Thanks, Severe to me is large amounts of blood.

(in reply to InHisHeart)
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RE: Severe Punishment/Abuse - 5/21/2014 10:47:49 AM   
sandyTheSub


Posts: 24
Joined: 4/13/2014
Status: offline 		Abuse starts when consent ends.

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RE: Severe Punishment/Abuse - 5/21/2014 10:50:23 AM   
Vgsjohn


Posts: 13
Joined: 1/26/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sandyTheSub

Abuse starts when consent ends.






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RE: Severe Punishment/Abuse - 5/21/2014 12:21:23 PM   
shiftyw


Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline 		If its a hard limit he blows past.
If I safeword and he doesn't stop. (this the consent thing)
If I feel the need to excercise the right of "If I don't like it, leave"

While to me, abuse is gashes with blood, the next person might really get off on it. Its a personal line.

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RE: Severe Punishment/Abuse - 5/21/2014 6:30:19 PM   
devyL


Posts: 4
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline 		If you even for a moment consider it abuse......then most likely to you it is....

Others have different limits and kinks. There is no right or wrong answer. I love being spanked to the point of not being able to sit for days. For others that may be abuse. Even the most experienced master needs you to be honest above all else about how you feel.

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RE: Severe Punishment/Abuse - 6/7/2014 5:28:24 PM   
slaveoubliette


Posts: 74
Joined: 5/22/2014
Status: offline 		seems about right,



quote:

ORIGINAL: sandyTheSub

Abuse starts when consent ends.


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RE: Severe Punishment/Abuse - 6/16/2014 7:43:19 AM   
MojoDaddyMarine


Posts: 28
Joined: 5/17/2014
Status: offline 		This is very close to home to me, my sub is into SEVERELY rough sexual play, in the manner of choking out, slapping the snot out of her, she gets off on a truly physical beating. She says it is her way of "owning" her abuse as a child. The problem I have is because of my love for her, I fear overstepping her needs and harming her. For her it goes beyond wanting her hair pulled or ass slapped. She seems to need her limits constantly pushed.

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RE: Severe Punishment/Abuse - 6/16/2014 7:49:35 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		In addition to what's been said, when spanking occurs on the back, above the line of the crack of the ass. Whether it's consensual or not, that can create damage to the kidneys. Exceptions of course for flogging, and gentle sensual play.

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RE: Severe Punishment/Abuse - 6/16/2014 9:24:14 AM   
InHisHeart


Posts: 630
Joined: 3/22/2014
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MojoDaddyMarine

The problem I have is because of my love for her, I fear overstepping her needs and harming her.


Often times I want him to push way past my limits, depending on what it is, at times he will, at times he won't. If he feels it's something that will harm be physically and/or emotionally then he won't go beyond what he feels is safe for me. It doesn't matter if I feel it's safe for me, if he doesn't feel it's safe for me or he's not comfortable with doing it then he's not going to do it and there's no negotiating. I might get annoyed at times by it but being that he is my Master, I know my well-being is his top priority, I accept that his word is final and I respect his boundaries.



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RE: Severe Punishment/Abuse - 6/16/2014 2:16:21 PM   
MercTech


Posts: 3706
Joined: 7/4/2006
Status: offline 		I may be a conservative old fart; but I'll share my thoughts on this.
A severe spanking becomes abusive or at least "over the top" when:

A> It limits the ability to hold a job
B> It makes doing common personal chores and household duties impossible.
C> It necessitates a trip to the Emergency Room or an ambulance call.

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RE: Severe Punishment/Abuse - 7/1/2014 7:13:21 AM   
SinfulBashful


Posts: 26
Joined: 3/11/2014
Status: offline 		It is abuse when it is being done out of anger. I got paddled by a guy once and there wasn't anything sensual at all about what he was doing, it was just cruel.

< Message edited by SinfulBashful -- 7/1/2014 7:14:41 AM >

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RE: Severe Punishment/Abuse - 7/1/2014 9:05:55 PM   
rokkman7456


Posts: 50
Joined: 2/25/2013
Status: offline 		When being punished it is supposed to be cruel.

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RE: Severe Punishment/Abuse - 7/1/2014 10:06:11 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Let's hope you aren't a parent then. Because discipline and consequences are necessary and if you're cruel, then you get CPS stepping in.

There's no reason to be cruel unless one or both of you gets off on this kind of role play. Which makes it funishment, not punishment.

About the only good reason I know of to punish is to actually expiate guilt. It doesn't solve the problem for next time, it doesn't teach how to be successful in the future. It's used as an alternative to actually communicating too damned often. And it's highly unsuccessful as an alternative.

OP, it doesn't matter what we think is wrong. What matters is that you have a hard limit of blood letting during impact play. So be clear about that hard limit in the future. And if someone refuses to accept it, then they aren't the right partner for you.

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RE: Severe Punishment/Abuse - 7/1/2014 10:41:46 PM   
Arturas


Posts: 3245
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sandyTheSub

Abuse starts when consent ends.


So, forced? So, if the sub knows better than to get involved with a Dom who is abusive, then it must be consensual and not forced and so abuse does not exist in any Dom/sub relationship.

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RE: Severe Punishment/Abuse - 7/1/2014 10:44:04 PM   
Arturas


Posts: 3245
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

In addition to what's been said, when spanking occurs on the back, above the line of the crack of the ass. Whether it's consensual or not, that can create damage to the kidneys. Exceptions of course for flogging, and gentle sensual play.



So, if the Dom is poorly trained or unskilled then it's abusive? What about the stupid sub who lets this idiot tie her up? I say she should be beaten. Severely.

< Message edited by Arturas -- 7/1/2014 10:53:17 PM >

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RE: Severe Punishment/Abuse - 7/2/2014 6:07:26 PM   
ThePrincessKali


Posts: 424
Joined: 9/19/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

In addition to what's been said, when spanking occurs on the back, above the line of the crack of the ass. Whether it's consensual or not, that can create damage to the kidneys. Exceptions of course for flogging, and gentle sensual play.



So, if the Dom is poorly trained or unskilled then it's abusive? What about the stupid sub who lets this idiot tie her up? I say she should be beaten. Severely.



Why do you automatically assume the one being tied up is a female? And you think because a woman makes a decision that might not be the smartest choice in the world they deserve to be severely beaten? Umm I smell a misogynist.

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RE: Severe Punishment/Abuse - 7/3/2014 3:04:25 AM   
Redhusky


Posts: 83
Joined: 7/2/2014
Status: offline 		Everyone has it's own limits.
Just because one slave likes it more hard doesn't mean the other one likes it well. That dosent mean it's abuse till the slave dosent want it to happen what the slave didnt consent . Lets say a slave consent to n pain but the owner delivers m pain (m>n), then it can be viewed as abuse.
If your spanking it out of control , with anger , then your doing it without caring the slave at all. It's like a street fight, you just want to hurt the other , nothing else.
The only time breaking a limit might not be viewed as abuse by the slave is when the slave accepts it.
I know a slave who said he got his limits broken few times, but accepted it , so in a way he consented it

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RE: Severe Punishment/Abuse - 7/3/2014 3:37:12 AM   
Toysinbabeland


Posts: 1693
Joined: 3/4/2012
From: the other end of Cx's leash
Status: offline 		Severe, that's your word?

quote:

se·vere
səˈvi(ə)r/Submit
adjective
adjective: severe; comparative adjective: severer; superlative adjective: severest
1.
(of something bad or undesirable) very great; intense.
"a severe shortage of technicians"
synonyms: acute, very bad, serious, grave, critical, dreadful, terrible, awful; More
fierce, violent, strong, powerful, intense;
tempestuous, turbulent
excruciating, agonizing, intense, dreadful, awful, terrible, unbearable, intolerable;
informalsplitting, pounding, screaming
antonyms: minor, negligible, gentle,


I think you meant it the way depicted?

Describing it this way implies that there is something negative regarding the intention.

Intentions are EVERYTHING.




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