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Financial Domination rationale - 5/31/2014 9:40:47 PM   
hilypo


Posts: 8
Joined: 3/21/2012
Status: offline 		Every time I see a "findom", I just can't help but think, "Oh, another faker got in..." They're everywhere, and all they care about is money. How is that interesting? Could I become one and just have people wire me money every month by doing nothing but showing fake pictures?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Financial Domination rationale - 5/31/2014 9:42:29 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hilypo

Every time I see a "findom", I just can't help but think, "Oh, another faker got in..." They're everywhere, and all they care about is money. How is that interesting? Could I become one and just have people wire me money every month by doing nothing but showing fake pictures?


Well, it ain't my cup of tea either but....believe it or not, for some guys, it honestly floats their boat.

(in reply to hilypo)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Financial Domination rationale - 5/31/2014 9:45:06 PM   
MarkinLaredo


Posts: 8
Joined: 1/4/2014
Status: offline 		Yep we should all become findoms, send people pictures and talk long shit about how serving us with a credit card or cash is the best way to get off LOL.

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Financial Domination rationale - 5/31/2014 10:46:17 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hilypo

Every time I see a "findom", I just can't help but think, "Oh, another faker got in..." They're everywhere, and all they care about is money. How is that interesting? Could I become one and just have people wire me money every month by doing nothing but showing fake pictures?


So you don't like them. Fair enough. What do you intend to accomplish with your post?

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to hilypo)
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RE: Financial Domination rationale - 5/31/2014 10:54:10 PM   
SweetlySadistic1


Posts: 74
Joined: 5/25/2014
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline 		OP, I look at it this way. The findommes make the rest of us that don't try to get your money look that much better.

SweetlySadistc1

_____________________________

On CM since December 2008. I have a new username now.

Formerly NiceButMeanGirl.

MissBossyPants57 on FL

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Financial Domination rationale - 5/31/2014 11:18:55 PM   
MissImmortalPain


Posts: 2440
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline 		Oddly, hilypo, we have spoken and I do not recall asking you to give me anything but a joke. I will admit you gave me two of them so I feel I did gain from our conversation, but still as someone that has before done financial domination I feel you are being a little blind. Those twenty year old, cheerleader bodies, that scream for your money are not really practicing financial domination. Those girls are playing prick tease and it is not the fault, or issue, of real fin dommes that some men are foolish enough to believe they can get on the net and find their dream sports illustrated bimbo who is more than happy to have cam sex and tell them how wonderful they are. If you want to meet people in your own age range then find a TNG group (there are a few on fetlife) If you want to find someone a little older....have a conversation with her, hell have a few, and find out who she really is. *And* Because I am just going to keep saying this (I am a mommy dome after all) Pull up your damn pants, you are embarrassing yourself in more than one way.

< Message edited by MissImmortalPain -- 5/31/2014 11:20:35 PM >

_____________________________

It is always by way of pain that we arrive at pleasure.

We must all go through a right of passage,and it must be physical, it must be painful,and it must leave a mark.

(in reply to hilypo)
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RE: Financial Domination rationale - 5/31/2014 11:44:20 PM   
ThePrincessKali


Posts: 424
Joined: 9/19/2012
Status: offline 		Oh no another guy who wants a woman to get him off for free. Waaaah. There are several fetishes I find absurd. But because something isn't my cup of tea doesn't mean I go around whining about it.

Maybe because of this post, all of the Fin Dommes will go running. All because you, hilypo, don't want us on here. Ladies, head for the hills!

(in reply to MissImmortalPain)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Financial Domination rationale - 6/1/2014 12:18:59 AM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline 		Why does there need to be a rationale?

They're doing what they want to do. They're up front about what they want, so no one is being harmed. Those who are interested in engaging with them can do so, those that aren't can pass them by.

Contrary to popular belief, if all those 'gimme money' profiles went away, there wouldn't be more lifestyle dominants taking their places. The internet isn't a finite resource; those findommes aren't using up valuable dating profile slots so it doesn't make sense to be cross with them for existing.

On the other hand, there aren't that many lifestyle dominant women seeking online. It seems to be a smaller group to begin with, and they're so in demand most don't have to look very far at all. That's not going to change even if findomme was banned. Those lifestyle dommes are swamped with men contacting them, many of whom really do just want to get off without caring about her as a person. At least the findommes deflect some of those people - they provide an outlet where those guys who aren't willing to work on a relationship (or lack the social skills) can get off without competing for the genuine lifestyle subs for genuine lifestyle dommes. So even if you don't believe that anyone is enjoying findomme as an actual kink (and they are, but many people find that baffling) they still serve a purpose.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to hilypo)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Financial Domination rationale - 6/1/2014 12:45:01 AM   
FightingChains


Posts: 293
Joined: 3/18/2014
Status: offline 		I think the issue he is posing here is... is this people who actually want to financially dominate someone, or are these people just here to exploit people for money and personal gain, not really kinksters and actually just selfish and exploitative?

Should we accept all findommes here under the guise of kink, when we wouldn't accept such brazen and potentially destructive selfishness in the real world?

I question whether non-kinksters exploiting kinksters - and potentially destroying their financial lives - violates SSC and RACK, because it's deceptive about what they're really after: fulfilling both people's kink, or just being selfish pathetic women?

< Message edited by FightingChains -- 6/1/2014 12:48:14 AM >

_____________________________

"Get comfortable in your skin; you're going to be in it for a while."

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Financial Domination rationale - 6/1/2014 2:12:49 AM   
ThePrincessKali


Posts: 424
Joined: 9/19/2012
Status: offline 		How exactly is someone who is begging to give you their money, exploiting them? Or those who pay for online sessions bc they dont want a real relationship exploitative? It's not like fin Dommes go around stealing money from people or forcing them to fork it over. I think men expecting women to rush to them and dominate or do whatever they want solely so these men can get off is more exploitative than two consenting adults making a financial exchange. It seems the only people who get upset over financial domination are male subs who expect women to line up to dominate them and then find it doesn't happen. How about married people trying to find a partner outside of their marriage? Or those expecting sex right away under the guise of kink? Isn't that exploiting someone? Yet we don't see those threads every ten minutes.

(in reply to FightingChains)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Financial Domination rationale - 6/1/2014 4:42:07 AM   
Killerangel


Posts: 1169
Joined: 8/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hilypo

Every time I see a "findom", I just can't help but think, "Oh, another faker got in..." They're everywhere, and all they care about is money. How is that interesting? Could I become one and just have people wire me money every month by doing nothing but showing fake pictures?



It puzzles me why men get so worked up about findom. Big deal. It's not just about the women asking for money, t's about money on both sides because men are handing it over. It's just as valid a kink as foot fetishists, latex lovers, or people that get off on clowns, vomit, or balloons. Where are the men getting up in arms about those kinks? If you don't like findom, pass it by, why the personal butthurt about it?

It isn't 'fake' to the findom recipient, he seeks it out. Hence the tons of women or men out there with findom profiles. Doesn't it ever occur to you that the findom profiles exist because men want this and pay for it? If you want to get upset, take up your beef with the many guys out there that are causing the findoms' existence.

(in reply to hilypo)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Financial Domination rationale - 6/1/2014 9:37:45 AM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FightingChains

I think the issue he is posing here is... is this people who actually want to financially dominate someone, or are these people just here to exploit people for money and personal gain, not really kinksters and actually just selfish and exploitative?

Should we accept all findommes here under the guise of kink, when we wouldn't accept such brazen and potentially destructive selfishness in the real world?

I question whether non-kinksters exploiting kinksters - and potentially destroying their financial lives - violates SSC and RACK, because it's deceptive about what they're really after: fulfilling both people's kink, or just being selfish pathetic women?


Well you can never really know whether someone's heart is in it.

To be honest, I'm not sure how much it matters. If a person does a good job of financially dominating the sub (which obviously depends on what the sub wants) then everyone is happy, even if they are putting on an act to an extent. Many of the profiles we see make it incredibly clear that they don't care about the sub, don't want to make them happy and don't have any respect for them. If a guy contacts a profile like that, it's because the idea of that gets him off. I guess I can't see that as exploitation, even if the woman has zero sexual arousal from it. He's not being tricked into handing over money thinking that she's madly in love with him - those people exist too, but the word for that is 'scammer'.

As for destroying their financial lives - I'm not sure I can blame the findomme entirely for that. Granted, I wouldn't want to take money from someone who wasn't going to make rent that month, but we're talking consenting adults here. If a grown adult is so fixated on getting his kink on that financial ruin is the consequence, chances are they would've got into problems sooner or later because they have impulse control issues and/or the inability to anticipate the consequences of their actions. I could get myself into serious debt by buying expensive gadgets or booze or fancy holidays or designer clothes.

I occasionally get guys contacting me to offer me money, and my profile couldn't be less findommy. There are some guys out there with a raging hard-on for this stuff. While I have my suspicions that many of these self-proclaimed findommes don't get nearly as much custom as they claim, I don't think they're engaging in some elaborate trick to exploit people. They say 'hey, I'm here to take your money' and people give it.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to FightingChains)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Financial Domination rationale - 6/1/2014 11:57:58 AM   
Killerangel


Posts: 1169
Joined: 8/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FightingChains

I think the issue he is posing here is... is this people who actually want to financially dominate someone, or are these people just here to exploit people for money and personal gain, not really kinksters and actually just selfish and exploitative?

Should we accept all findommes here under the guise of kink, when we wouldn't accept such brazen and potentially destructive selfishness in the real world?

I question whether non-kinksters exploiting kinksters - and potentially destroying their financial lives - violates SSC and RACK, because it's deceptive about what they're really after: fulfilling both people's kink, or just being selfish pathetic women?


I don't know about anyone else, but I'd like the world at large to stay the hell out of my own bedroom and not be involved in the personal choices that i make for myself. I'll choose for myself thank you very much, if that means I willingly sign up for something that others may not be on board with, then so be it.

Not everyone involved in kink lives it 24/7, there are the occasional dabblers, are we going to set some overall standard of what level of kink deserves to be labeled as kinky as opposed to being posers or fakers? Who will set this standard of fakeness vs realness, and what criteria will they use?

Why in the world would anyone's motives be questioned as far as why they do a particular activity, does anyone really want watchdogs involved in their bedroom choices? The 50 shades enthusiast has as much right to using their fuzzy handcuffs on the weekends as the person keeping a gimp locked up in the basement. If a man pays to get his rocks off and a woman takes his money for that, it's between the two of them.

People exchanging kink for money are doing what they wish, why is this fake? Is there a test to pass to call yourself kinky? Everyone's motive is different, for some kink is sexual, some not. Why does someone's heart have to be involved in kink for it to be legit? It seems to be fine with the people doing it simply for fun. Then every kinky porn out there is probably fake, doesn't seem to stop men from watching them. Who says doing something for money negates the act or principal behind it? That's a large assumption to make. It seems to be fine with the people who are actually engaging in it and not standing by passing judgment on others.

What people do is up to them and the partners they engage with. I don't want anyone "saving" me out of a misguided attempt to help when I'm getting spanked or if I'm giving money to someone for a transaction. As an adult, I'm entitled to do as I see fit. If there are men running around here that are being taken advantage of financially, they should not in any way, shape, or form, have access to a computer and be on the internet. Would anyone here be up in arms about people making their own choices on buying a car, choosing a sports activity, or picking out a movie to watch?

The fin duck profiles that put their hands out for cash and call men worms are irritating, oh well, other things irritate me too but i'm not going to get in the way of whatever man out there wants the illusion of a pretty picture to hand over money to. Yes, I think findom is silly, who cares what I think, I say the men who want to engage in this are free to do so, just as I am free to do whatever I want as well.

People make bad choices all day long, however it's none of my business what other adults choose to do with their lives and I surely don't want anyone else sticking their nose into my own bad choices and telling me I can't do something. Who cares what the Dommes position is, if they're "into" fin dom for esoteric reasons or grubby ones...if a man chooses to engage with them then that is his adult choice. If he goes into bankruptcy for his choice of how he fulfills his kink then he is a dumbass, you can't blame the woman for taking money that was freely given.

(in reply to FightingChains)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Financial Domination rationale - 6/1/2014 12:07:40 PM   
Killerangel


Posts: 1169
Joined: 8/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hilypo

Every time I see a "findom", I just can't help but think, "Oh, another faker got in..." They're everywhere, and all they care about is money. How is that interesting? Could I become one and just have people wire me money every month by doing nothing but showing fake pictures?



Go right ahead and become a findom, I've seen male profiles for this although they target other men as their customers. Women generally get the sex/kink that they want without having to pay for it. Supply and demand...

(in reply to hilypo)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Financial Domination rationale - 6/1/2014 1:50:54 PM   
SweetlySadistic1


Posts: 74
Joined: 5/25/2014
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline 		Hilypo,

Why do you demand for people to rationalize their kink if it's not affecting you? You think it's affecting you but really it's not. All you have to do if you get a letter from a findomme is BLOCK & DELETE. Big deal. Is it really that hard? I don't understand the appeal of being a findomme/finslave either, and it's not my "thing," but I don't go around expecting those who do like it to justify or rationalize their kink. I mean, good gawd, is any kink what you'd really call "rational" anyway? If someone asked me to justify or rationalize any of my kinks, I'd say "Because I like it, that's why." If they didn't accept that & pushed for more, I'd tell them to go fornicate w/ themselves.

SweetlySensual1

_____________________________

On CM since December 2008. I have a new username now.

Formerly NiceButMeanGirl.

MissBossyPants57 on FL

(in reply to Killerangel)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Financial Domination rationale - 6/1/2014 4:14:03 PM   
FightingChains


Posts: 293
Joined: 3/18/2014
Status: offline 		Killerangel,

I simply questioned people using other's kinks against them. If kinksters pay money, that's their business.

Someone goes "hey, I just found a group of people who'll give me money and treats if I treat them like shit! Kinksters! All I have to do is tell them how pathetic they are and demand money and they give it!"

That bothers me. Being a selfish, using bitch isn't a kink as far as I'm concerned. It's selfishness.

< Message edited by FightingChains -- 6/1/2014 4:29:28 PM >

_____________________________

"Get comfortable in your skin; you're going to be in it for a while."

(in reply to SweetlySadistic1)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Financial Domination rationale - 6/1/2014 5:22:12 PM   
MissImmortalPain


Posts: 2440
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline 		The issue I have with your logic, Chains, is that we all do that. If you think we, each and everyone of us, don't seek out people to play to our kink because it is what we want. Would you call a sadist that demands the ability to flog their sub selfish? What if the sub doesn't like pain? Are we all required to run out and find the exact other match to our kink or are we allowed to teach someone to enjoy the things we enjoy? The truth of the matter is this is all about money. I have had this conversation many times, with many people, over the years. Men often few money as power. These little girls, or tricky men, allow other men to believe they have some sort of power by buying things. Personally I believe that men who think they can buy a woman for a pair of shoes, a pretty necklace, or the rent, deserve what they get. (It is wrong to buy humans just because your dick is hard and you can't get a woman in the real work to talk to you) I also have to state for the record that the forms of financial domination that I have practiced are nothing like these little girls stomping their feet. The last time I finned someone it was because he had a gambling habit and my telling him he could take me out to dinner or put money is his children's college funds is not taking advantage of anyone (IMO) Are there scammers? Yes, there are. Are there some young girls that flash body parts for cash? Yes, there are. If there a whole world of perverted men out there asking, sometimes begging, women to do this? Yes, there are. The world is an odd place, full of odd people, doing odd things. That is just the reality of things and all I know for a fact is if it isn't my kink I don't take part in it and as long as it doesn't not do personal, lasting, harm to someone who is not aware of what is happing to them.....I don't judge.

_____________________________

It is always by way of pain that we arrive at pleasure.

We must all go through a right of passage,and it must be physical, it must be painful,and it must leave a mark.

(in reply to FightingChains)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Financial Domination rationale - 6/1/2014 5:23:37 PM   
MissImmortalPain


Posts: 2440
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline 		By the way, hilypo, I love the new avatar picture. Your handsome face is much nicer to look at than your butt was.

_____________________________

It is always by way of pain that we arrive at pleasure.

We must all go through a right of passage,and it must be physical, it must be painful,and it must leave a mark.

(in reply to hilypo)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Financial Domination rationale - 6/1/2014 5:59:21 PM   
Killerangel


Posts: 1169
Joined: 8/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FightingChains

Killerangel,

I simply questioned people using other's kinks against them. If kinksters pay money, that's their business.

Someone goes "hey, I just found a group of people who'll give me money and treats if I treat them like shit! Kinksters! All I have to do is tell them how pathetic they are and demand money and they give it!"

That bothers me. Being a selfish, using bitch isn't a kink as far as I'm concerned. It's selfishness.



Three things:

1. No one is using anyone's kink against them, the guys know what they're getting into and seek it out. Why are they constantly being portrayed as little lambs led astray? Is someone reaching out across the cyber world, pulling out a wallet, and helping themselves to the money? No. The men willingly pay and that is what they are looking for. Yes is IS their business what they do in the privacy of their own lives.

2. Being a selfish using bitch is EXACTLY the illusion that many men seeking findom want and I think they'd argue that it's their kink regardless of what you'd like to call it. I'm not sure that any of the men paying for findom worries about if anyone else considers them to be kinky or not, and why would they care?

I don't really get those who get off on shit, at work we call that fecal incontinence, here they call it kink. Different strokes and all that...

3. The men seeking findom are selfish users along with the women holding out their hands. The guys want to get off. Of course they would love for some anonymous woman to get them off for free, but it's hard to find strangers that would spend their time doing that, so these guys pay for the illusion of a pretty tyrant who will do what they want instead of finding an average looking woman that they spend time getting to know and then putting in time in an equal relationship. Who exactly is the selfish one here? Seems pretty equal in the end, payment for services rendered, everyone is happy.

(in reply to FightingChains)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Financial Domination rationale - 6/1/2014 6:25:44 PM   
FightingChains


Posts: 293
Joined: 3/18/2014
Status: offline 		Killerangel, I agree on all counts.

MissImmortalPain, while I agree we all want our needs met, I don't seek someone *ever* who I would not also be fulfilling their interests as well, and I do see in this case, both people are getting that too.

This perhaps simply blurs the line in my mind of someone who doesn't care about the kinksters they participate and are truly selfish without interest in also meeting the other participant's needs. I can be a selfish asshole when I get sadistic, and I am selfish, but it's in the knowledge he gets what he needs out of it. I'm selfless enough to know that me being selfish is what he needs, and I'll let myself be a selfish bastard. Nonetheless, "informed selfishness" is different from just being a pathetic, selfish person who never gives a damn about others.

Thank you both for the new perspective.

_____________________________

"Get comfortable in your skin; you're going to be in it for a while."

(in reply to Killerangel)
Profile   Post #: 20
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