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RE: Naked expectations - 6/9/2014 10:42:19 PM

Gauge

Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
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A few thoughts:

First of all, you have only been together for two months. Not certain if that is when you took the plunge to live together, or whether you have only actually known each other for two months and are now living together. The difference being that you should know that living together is a totally different dynamic than being in a relationship and living apart.

Second, this was the first time she went out and she screwed it up. Did you express to her that you were not happy about her choices to simply do what she wanted and not what you both had agreed she would do? If you did not talk with her, but instead went bananas and started controlling her life and invading her privacy then you went too far and overstepped your bounds.

Third, quite frankly it sounds like she is a bit of a wild child and you are quite the opposite. From the tone of your post I think you have already made up your mind what to do. Next time, get to know who you are going to be in a relationship with... it is the difference between your current situation and a successful one.

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"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to DesFIP)

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Post #: 21

RE: Naked expectations - 6/19/2014 9:38:28 AM

Domnotlooking

Posts: 249
Joined: 8/11/2013
Status: offline

I was amused by your need to set the record straight with another dom who your sweetie was badmouthing you to.

Talk about closing the barn door after the cattle have fled!

And what do you expect to come out of this dom summit?

(in reply to DesFIP)

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Post #: 22

RE: Naked expectations - 6/19/2014 10:34:30 AM

Valkyrien

Posts: 147
Joined: 5/9/2014
Status: offline

I am from Europe, I like nakedness! :)

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Post #: 23

RE: Naked expectations - 6/19/2014 10:41:44 AM

crazyml

Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline

She's not that into you.

It's not that your expectations are unreasonable, they're just unreasonable for her. It's not you, it's not her - you're just not compatible.

I think the 19 year age difference is part of it.

Good luck

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Post #: 24

RE: Naked expectations - 6/28/2014 9:09:23 PM

graceadieu

Posts: 1518
Joined: 3/20/2008
From: Maryland
Status: offline

This stood out to me:

quote:

ORIGINAL: MojoDaddyMarine
she does not have the self discipline to make the right choices.

Why would you want to be in a relationship - to live with - someone like that?

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Post #: 25

RE: Naked expectations - 7/1/2014 8:55:23 AM

SinfulBashful

Posts: 26
Joined: 3/11/2014
Status: offline

Shell be naked for you when shes ready and shell do it of her own volition. That's not something you get by demanding it.

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Post #: 26

RE: Naked expectations - 7/8/2014 3:08:57 PM

CloakedProtector

Posts: 70
Joined: 1/5/2007
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The answer to such questions always come back to: what did you agree on?

Within the agreement, possibly narrowed down be legal boundaries, you can do everything.

What you don't do, in my personal opinion, is letting this pass as if nothing happened.
In my book her behaviour, discussing her Master with another one, distorting the facts as I understand you, after disobeying you is not just a faits-divers.
It is disobedience and disloyalty. What did you do to deserve that?

Either you correct this, and there are consequences for her, or you are giving a signal of weakness (even if you are not weak that is how she will perceive it and how the other Dom will emphasize it) and weakness will be exploited at some point.

A sub/slave must fit like a glove. You must make it fit and corrective action is part of that. Not always nice to do but a need.

Many hesitate out of fear that the sub/slave would leave and that is what makes it difficult if you don't know how to crack the nut.

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Post #: 27

RE: Naked expectations - 9/25/2014 9:04:40 PM

ASimpleTailor

Posts: 8
Joined: 9/25/2014
Status: offline

I've seen this before. You're dealing with a bottom and not a sub. It's a big difference that most bottoms don't understand.

Here's the main issue...if she isn't doing anything wrong, then what is the issue with monitoring her phone? But there is an issue to her...her "privacy," which gives you your answer right there. There are things on her phone she doesn't want you to see. It doesn't get much simpler than that. That's human behavior 101.

You're not in the wrong. And you're not a controlling ass at all. You are being a Dom...and she is...well, she is being a bottom...not a sub.

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Post #: 28

RE: Naked expectations - 10/5/2014 5:20:53 PM

CaptR

Posts: 425
Joined: 4/25/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

She's half your age, she's known you for only a couple of months and you're expecting to take total control.

I'm surprised she's still talking to you. I sure as hell wouldn't be.

It took The Man until we had lived together over two years, after 3 years ldr, before I felt comfortable giving him anywhere near the authority you expect after barely dating a few times.

Before you demand vulnerability, try proving trustworthiness. Try talking and asking questions about how her life works before you arbitrarily change it up wholesale.

So you decided to be magnanimous and allow her to see a friend. How about the fact that you even think you have the right to end her friendships is for many people a red flag. Guys who try to prevent women from keeping their suppoSE systems strong are not usually considered good guys.

And if the prescription for Valium are from her doctor, then who are you to overturn her medical care? What are your credentials? And how do you propose to fix the problem that anti-anxiety meds are prescribed for? Because taking someone off their meds does not mean they no longer have that illness.

More importantly, you've already said you think she's a liar. And now you expect her to prove the opposite. There's no way to do so. Since you distrust her, there is no relationship worth having.