Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: How to tell a Master to stop asking me to try women.. or how to try women when I am straight?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: How to tell a Master to stop asking me to try women.. or how to try women when I am straight? Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: How to tell a Master to stop asking me to try women... - 7/5/2014 6:24:32 AM   
Bhruic


Posts: 985
Joined: 4/11/2012
From: Toronto, Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SinfulBashful

I have a master.. He thinks I am a slave to him and would never want to be involved with anyone else which is a little true.


Is it actually an agreed on Master/slave relationship? Or does he just think you are his slave? That is not exactly clear. The details of such relationships vary wildly from couple to couple, and the details are important if advice is to be relevant.

In an understood Master/slave relationship, where obedience is an important factor, I would say you should be reasonably expected to do as you are told. After all... eating pussy isn't dangerous or damaging, and obedience isn't really obedience when a slave is only asked to do what they want to do anyway. That is not to say that hard limits are not a valid issue... but "only things I like" is not - in my opinion - a valid hard limit in a Master/slave scenario. At that point the Master becomes the servant of the slave.

But it sounds like it is not a clearly defined relationship, and it doesn't sound like he is committed to you. If you don't like him bringing up a topic, then tell him to stop... but - as others have said - be prepared for the possibility that he may move on then.

P.S. I wouldn't go with the advice some have given to confront him with another guy... He may well like the idea of getting fucked (Some of us do), and where will you go from there?

P.S.S. This thread is a good example - it seems to me - of how judgey this community can be. Many posts assume your guy is a self serving asshole based on this sole issue. I don't think you have given anywhere near enough information about him, or you, for people to safely jump to that conclusion.

< Message edited by Bhruic -- 7/5/2014 6:49:01 AM >

_____________________________

pronounced "VROOick"

(in reply to SinfulBashful)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: How to tell a Master to stop asking me to try women... - 7/5/2014 9:01:56 AM   
PandoraFoxxx


Posts: 182
Joined: 1/3/2011
From: San Mateo, CA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bhruic

quote:

ORIGINAL: SinfulBashful

I have a master.. He thinks I am a slave to him and would never want to be involved with anyone else which is a little true.


Is it actually an agreed on Master/slave relationship? Or does he just think you are his slave? That is not exactly clear. The details of such relationships vary wildly from couple to couple, and the details are important if advice is to be relevant.

In an understood Master/slave relationship, where obedience is an important factor, I would say you should be reasonably expected to do as you are told. After all... eating pussy isn't dangerous or damaging, and obedience isn't really obedience when a slave is only asked to do what they want to do anyway. That is not to say that hard limits are not a valid issue... but "only things I like" is not - in my opinion - a valid hard limit in a Master/slave scenario. At that point the Master becomes the servant of the slave.

But it sounds like it is not a clearly defined relationship, and it doesn't sound like he is committed to you. If you don't like him bringing up a topic, then tell him to stop... but - as others have said - be prepared for the possibility that he may move on then.

P.S. I wouldn't go with the advice some have given to confront him with another guy... He may well like the idea of getting fucked (Some of us do), and where will you go from there?

P.S.S. This thread is a good example - it seems to me - of how judgey this community can be. Many posts assume your guy is a self serving asshole based on this sole issue. I don't think you have given anywhere near enough information about him, or you, for people to safely jump to that conclusion.


Yes! Agreed.
except for that liiiiittttllle thing you said about forcing a straight person to perform a homosexual act -

It's damaging if you're fucking straight. How bout you go out and suck a few cocks as a straight man and tell me that doesn't bear even a little bit ill on your psyche....and before you say "it's not the same thing" it is exactly the same thing.



(in reply to Bhruic)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: How to tell a Master to stop asking me to try women... - 7/5/2014 9:42:11 AM   
Bhruic


Posts: 985
Joined: 4/11/2012
From: Toronto, Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PandoraFoxxx

Yes! Agreed.
except for that liiiiittttllle thing you said about forcing a straight person to perform a homosexual act -

It's damaging if you're fucking straight. How bout you go out and suck a few cocks as a straight man and tell me that doesn't bear even a little bit ill on your psyche....and before you say "it's not the same thing" it is exactly the same thing.




I fully agree that it is exactly the same thing. I don't subscribe to some different standard for male slaves and female slaves.

If I was a straight male, and wanted to give myself over to slavery to a Master or Mistress because I am excited by being owned, and being controlled, even compelled to do things that push my boundries (after all, I don't need a Dom to compel me to do the things I already want to do) then I would fully expect that I might be required to service, or be used by men... safely, of course.

The idea that sexual contact with someone of the same sex is an emotionally damaging trauma is - I think - one of the roots of homophobia.

However... I accept that for some people, that may be the case. But in that case, I would be concerned that such an emotionally fragile person might find BDSM and kink in general potentially emotionally traumatic.


_____________________________

pronounced "VROOick"

(in reply to PandoraFoxxx)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: How to tell a Master to stop asking me to try women... - 7/5/2014 10:08:06 AM   
Moderator7


Posts: 346
Status: offline 		The thread is unlocked. Some post were removed for personal attacks, going off topic, making another poster the topic, quoting and/or responding to a removed post. We will not be sending emails on the removed posts for this thread as we removed most the thread. Please stay on topic. Thank you and enjoy the discussion.

Moderator3 commenting here: M7 and I worked this thread. If you have any questions, please direct them to me. Thank you.

< Message edited by Moderator3 -- 7/5/2014 7:44:27 PM >

(in reply to Bhruic)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: How to tell a Master to stop asking me to try women... - 7/7/2014 12:06:20 AM   
alumina


Posts: 11
Joined: 9/9/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SinfulBashful

I have a master.. he is not exclusive to me, has said he will never be monogamous to me, and I am not expected to be exclusive to him either (although I am right now). He thinks I am a slave to him and would never want to be involved with anyone else which is a little true. At this time he is seeing another woman who he says also "worships his cock". So, that is the kind of thing we have going and no lies works for us.

He makes comments like, "Its such a shame you are not bisexual" and "wouldn't you like your clit licked while getting pounded? What does it matter if its a man or woman doing it?". I'm not bicurious and he wants me to do it. I have told him I'm not curious about being with a woman at all and he just says, "All women are bisexual".

The subject is coming up often and I don't want to do it. I just assume the threesome would involve one of his other girlfriends. On a separate level, I don't have any desire to meet or be involved with his others either.

He isn't asking me to do it; he's telling me its going to happen. If I were to do it, It wouldn't be because i wanted to or liked it, it would be just because I wanted to make him happy. If he made me do it, I think I would feel very badly afterwards and not want to see or talk to him for awhile.... maybe ever.

He's also mentioned taking me with him to the swingers club but I said I didn't want to because I'm not interested in women... but dicks, yes yes yes, bring it on, 3 at once! To that he said "Ok, you don't have to do it"

How do I get him to stop bringing up making me play with another woman, or how do I indulge him without hating him for it?



Dear OP

I can completely understand why you would not want to be involved with one of his other partners. 1. If you are not curious about girls, then he shouldn't be forcing you to try and be.. as it could result in you being emotionally damaged, and it could break the trust you have together. 2. If you are not wanting to be a part of his other relationships, that is perfectly fine, have you tried communicating that part to him? 3. I would sit down with your Master and explain to him all the reasons why you cant bring yourself to partake in his threesome. Explain it in depth, and how as much as you would like to make him happy, that is not something that feels right for you.

As for swingers clubs, I have been to a few before and even if you don't play with anyone, it can still be a really great time. Just make sure you speak with you Dominant before you decide to go, and make sure your boundaries are clear and going to be respected.

a

(in reply to SinfulBashful)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: How to tell a Master to stop asking me to try women... - 7/7/2014 1:33:24 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Bhruic: I'm straight. That means that I only like sex with men. If I was forced to have sex with a man I didn't want to have sex with, it would be emotionally damaging.
You may not believe it, but unwanted sex which you are forced to have is defined as rape or assault. They are criminal acts which frequently leave people with PTSD.

Saying that just because the other person is female doesn't make it assault, doesn't make it emotionally damaging and means that I'm homophobic is victim blaming of the worst order.

And it also doesn't mean that I'm too emotionally fragile to engage in consensual BDSM. Although it may well make me too fragile to engage in it with a person who forced me afterwards.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to alumina)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: How to tell a Master to stop asking me to try women... - 7/7/2014 1:54:37 PM   
subrosaDom


Posts: 724
Joined: 2/16/2014
Status: offline 		Consent is pretty straightforward. If there's no consent (not talking about "consensual non-consent" which is of course consent), then it's abuse. There are some female subs for whom giving blow jobs is a hard limit. There could be emotional or anatomical reasons why this is so. Now, could I have such a sub? No. Does that give me the right to stick my cock in the mouth of this sub? No. My only choices are to accept her as my sub and forego blow jobs or not to consider her. That's what consent means, whether it's fellatio, heterosexual or homosexual sex.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Bhruic: I'm straight. That means that I only like sex with men. If I was forced to have sex with a man I didn't want to have sex with, it would be emotionally damaging.
You may not believe it, but unwanted sex which you are forced to have is defined as rape or assault. They are criminal acts which frequently leave people with PTSD.

Saying that just because the other person is female doesn't make it assault, doesn't make it emotionally damaging and means that I'm homophobic is victim blaming of the worst order.

And it also doesn't mean that I'm too emotionally fragile to engage in consensual BDSM. Although it may well make me too fragile to engage in it with a person who forced me afterwards.


(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: How to tell a Master to stop asking me to try women... - 7/7/2014 2:55:23 PM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SinfulBashful
I have told him I'm not curious about being with a woman at all and he just says, "All women are bisexual".


So the research I've seen supports that, kind of, sort of-ish. Female sexuality and orientation appears to be at least somewhat malleable:

quote:

ORIGINAL: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/handy-psychology-answers/201102/does-sexuality-differ-men-and-women
In a 2000 article, Roy Baumeister proposed that women's sexuality fundamentally varies from that of men. Men, he suggested, have a fixed, biologically-determined sex drive that is relatively insensitive to context. Women, on the other hand, have a much more variable sex drive, far more responsive to the surrounding circumstances. He based these conclusions on a broad range of empirical findings. According to this research, women have greater variation both in the level of sexual activity and choice of gender over time. Moreover, women's sexuality is far more influenced by cultural factors, such as education, religion, and peer and parental attitudes.


This isn't to say that it would be healthy or even ok for him to coerce you into sex with a woman. Considering that you think it would be a problem, I'll agree with you, if he pushes you into it, it will be a problem.

That he is disregarding your limits and attempting to force you into this is a big red flag in my book. However, as you've stated that you're unwilling to leave him I suggest you start wrapping your mind around the idea that:

quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml
In that case, if I were you I'd get ready to lick pussy...

(in reply to SinfulBashful)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: How to tell a Master to stop asking me to try women... - 7/7/2014 6:15:59 PM   
quizzicalkitten


Posts: 312
Status: offline 		GS,

A guy wrote an article saying womens sexuality was more malleable then mens... yeah thats all sorts of credible there.

Sorry but not all women are bisexual, and im going to go with if anyones malleable its more likely men because Ive seen many a man do nearly ANYTHING to get off..

I dont think anything in the article has really any credence. I wasnt brought up religious or with any norms that cause me to dislike women or be against women in a sexual sense, and yet nothing about women turn me on. I get physically ill thinking of a woman in a sexual sense.


To say all Anything is rather dickish, and simply untrue.


(in reply to GotSteel)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: How to tell a Master to stop asking me to try women... - 7/7/2014 6:38:49 PM   
subrosaDom


Posts: 724
Joined: 2/16/2014
Status: offline 		It may be how you ask the question. I would guess that if bisexual is defined as "penetrative sex with a penis or dildo or equivalent" then you'd get equal percentages of male and female bisexuals. But if bisexual isn't carefully defined, then I'd bet that women who simply made out or had a desire to so would deem themselves bisexual -- and women are more likely to simply make out whereas men want to completely get off. I am going to guess that fewer men simply "make out" -- and so their standard of bisexuality is "higher" (I don't mean better or more accurate; I mean it is often interpreted as penetration).

Now, that's just a guess on my part, but that's typical of survey bias as well, unfortunately, oftentimes of research bias. Absolute, objective definitions of terms will give you a meaningful result -- which could, of course for evolutionary reasons include the possibility that more women are indeed bisexual.

quote:

ORIGINAL: quizzicalkitten

GS,

A guy wrote an article saying womens sexuality was more malleable then mens... yeah thats all sorts of credible there.

Sorry but not all women are bisexual, and im going to go with if anyones malleable its more likely men because Ive seen many a man do nearly ANYTHING to get off..

I dont think anything in the article has really any credence. I wasnt brought up religious or with any norms that cause me to dislike women or be against women in a sexual sense, and yet nothing about women turn me on. I get physically ill thinking of a woman in a sexual sense.


To say all Anything is rather dickish, and simply untrue.




(in reply to quizzicalkitten)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: How to tell a Master to stop asking me to try women... - 7/7/2014 8:20:40 PM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: quizzicalkitten
A guy wrote an article saying womens sexuality was more malleable then mens... yeah thats all sorts of credible there.

Actually the article in psychologytoday is based on numerous empirical studies stretching back from last year to at least 2000.

(in reply to quizzicalkitten)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: How to tell a Master to stop asking me to try women... - 7/7/2014 9:06:20 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		On the Kinsey scale, I'm a zero.

I've spent most of my life, from my formative years onward to today in a gay and lesbian community. I am the least homophobic person around.

I'm still not bisexual. Nor am I into open or poly.

As far as the differences on Kinsey scale between men and women, I posit that men are afraid of reporting gay or bisexual urges because of fears of how they will be seen. Whereas women in society are pushed to pretend a certain level of bisexuality in order to attract men.

Women will dance together to attract a man, it doesn't make them bisexual. It just means they aren't afraid of someone believing that, because that belief is a good thing.

As far as physiological response goes, if you throw pepper up my nose I'll sneeze. It doesn't mean I have a cold.
In other words, the least reliable thing you can use to determine sexuality in a woman is body only response. If our brains aren't into it, then it doesn't matter that you can get a trickle of a response physically.



_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to GotSteel)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: How to tell a Master to stop asking me to try women... - 7/8/2014 12:33:59 PM   
SweetAmber32


Posts: 24
Joined: 9/25/2013
Status: offline 		I agree with what everyone has told you. Why the Hell are you waisting our time? Geeze! That's what limits are for. A HARD limit of mine is being with a female. That means anyone who tries breaking that is kicked to the curb. Unless I change my mind, that limit (or any hard limit) is OFF limits, period. You need to get some balls and tell him NO and risk loosing him. There are better Masters out there. If you truly mean something to him, he'll respect your choice. Tell him being with women is a hard limit. He tries breaking it, then he's nothing more than scum. And if you break your own hard limit because you were pressured, you love him and don't want to lose him, well, you made your bed, so get ready to sleep in it. Oh, btw, you are nothing more than easy pussy for him. He'll move on when he finds someone better. I wish you luck.

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: How to tell a Master to stop asking me to try women... - 7/8/2014 3:38:41 PM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
As far as the differences on Kinsey scale between men and women, I posit that men are afraid of reporting gay or bisexual urges because of fears of how they will be seen. Whereas women in society are pushed to pretend a certain level of bisexuality in order to attract men.

I'd agree that self reporting will be prone to such issues however there have been numerous studies measuring physical sexual arousal.


quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
As far as physiological response goes, if you throw pepper up my nose I'll sneeze. It doesn't mean I have a cold.
In other words, the least reliable thing you can use to determine sexuality in a woman is body only response.

Yes....and no. I completely agree that having the conscious mind in agreement is imperative for healthy sexuality. That said the typical woman becomes physically aroused to a broader range of stimuli than the vast majority of men. Something which I suspect you're aware of on account of your counter argument.

Keep in mind that this stuff is all "body" to use your euphemism, the autonomic nervous system is what controls arousal all the way to orgasm. This is meaningful because the more robust underlying hardwiring women possess allows for an erotic plasticity that men don't have.


quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
If our brains aren't into it, then it doesn't matter that you can get a trickle of a response physically.

We aren't talking just a trickle, physical responses to undesirable sexual stimuli go all the way up to orgasm.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: How to tell a Master to stop asking me to try women... - 7/8/2014 4:39:28 PM   
quizzicalkitten


Posts: 312
Status: offline 		And there are reports of orgasm during rape... still doesnt mean the victim wanted it.

Your sources arent all that solid. Seeing as your main source also posts all type of bunked shit as well

And the field in general cant agree on damned shit, its why theres an extremely high misdiagnosis rate and improper medication....


The reality is there is Nothing when it comes to people that applies to every single person no matter what, and If you really want... I can find enough "web"research to prove with out a doubt that.... All men really are bunny rabbits in human skin...


(in reply to GotSteel)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: How to tell a Master to stop asking me to try women... - 7/8/2014 8:23:18 PM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: quizzicalkitten
And there are reports of orgasm during rape... still doesnt mean the victim wanted it.

Orgasm during rape was exactly what I was referring to.

quote:

ORIGINAL: quizzicalkitten
Your sources arent all that solid.

My sources are well over a hundred empirical studies, psychology today is just the easy way to get quotable sound bites as it were.

quote:

ORIGINAL: quizzicalkitten
Seeing as your main source also posts all type of bunked shit as well

Do tell.

quote:

ORIGINAL: quizzicalkitten
And the field in general cant agree on damned shit, its why theres an extremely high misdiagnosis rate and improper medication....

We've strayed rather far afield here, I'll agree that much in the way of diagnosis and medicating is done such that it's as much or more of an art form than a science. However this condemnation of psychiatry has little to do with the validity of empirical studies into human psychology aside from it's value as an ad hominem.

quote:

ORIGINAL: quizzicalkitten
The reality is there is Nothing when it comes to people that applies to every single person no matter what, and If you really want...

If you'll notice I've used qualifiers such as typically to indicate that I'm referring to the norm as opposed to every single person. Sure not "every single" girl is identical, some girls even have cocks.

quote:

ORIGINAL: quizzicalkitten
I can find enough "web"research to prove with out a doubt that.... All men really are bunny rabbits in human skin...

By all means that sounds fun.

(in reply to quizzicalkitten)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: How to tell a Master to stop asking me to try women... - 7/9/2014 4:43:58 AM   
CloakedProtector


Posts: 70
Joined: 1/5/2007
Status: offline 		SinfulBashful, I can imagine that so much different advice could be confusing. So maybe some clean-up could help.

Your dilemma is quite straight forward. You don't want to get involved with women and you want to keep access to an attribute, a dick/cock to name it, of a Dominant with which you have an open non-exclusive relationship and that tries to push you where you don't want to go, namely with your tongue inside a pussy. Now, lets attach a flow to that and see where you could end up.

1) What the Dominant asks does it fall within the pre-negotiated hard limits
-> OPTIONS: Don't do it or change your limits.
->RISK: You COULD loose the dick/cock if you don't do it, but that is NOT certain, there just is a chance.
->ASSESSMENT: Are there others, yes. Can't you find them, probably. Will they be in BDSM, certainly some will. Will they have the same accessibility, possibly. Are they close to you, there must be some. Are they free/available, hopefully.
Are you prepared to be without replacement util you find a MATCHING alternative in the above narrowed down candidates?
-> SOLUTION:
---> Change your limits: problem solved.
---> Don't change your limits: just enjoy until he leaves you (IF he leaves you), possibly pro-actively look-out for replacement because you have no mono-agreement to reduce the "being without" period. In main time support his pushing questions as a lesser consequence.

2) There is no breach of hard limits it was not an initially negotiated set-up
-> OPTIONS: Negotiate it now.
-> RISK: If you don't give in you COULD loose the dick/cock and scenario 1 will apply.
-> ASSESSMENT: Same as in scenario one.
-> SOLUTION:
---> Give in: problem solved.
---> He gives in: Problem solved and he will stop asking.
---> Give it a single try (unilateral); decide after that in a more educated way knowing how you experienced it and if it is worth for securing the dick/cock
---> Give it a try (bi-lateral): Agree in a couple set-up were he accepts the same with a man in order to understand what sacrifice he is asking for. He may not accept but you can try and he may realise/understand your reluctance.
---> No agreement: Things could more abruptly come to an end, although from the psychological/selfishness aspect of things you are worshipping his dick/cock and he must like that or he wouldn't be there any-more given this is an open-non-exclusive and (feeling-wise) non pre-negotiated BDSM relationship. SO don't look at this as if only he has something to offer, you do too and so I am not sure he will leave you as he can set-up his 3-some with others and still see you as you don't seem to mind.

3) You did negotiate and this aspect is part of the power transfer

I'll skip the mayonnaise here. Either get out if now it has suddenly become a hard limit (take your losses) and do your homework better next time or give in, possibly gradually and asking him to smoothly integrate it.
Maybe try to bend the system a little and propose to find women you BOTH could like and have some rapport with and that are not part of is already existing side-live.
Who knows, you might enjoy a hard dick/cock in action that you view during penetration of another women while you can lubricate it with some saliva, work the balls and open your worship experience to a complete new bunch of possibilities.
From there you may get more available to move towards the pussy licking activity that he seems to want (or possibly may concede on in a 50/50 solution).
It is all a matter of smoothing it in agreement not to over-run the engine and make it win-win again.

(in reply to GotSteel)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: How to tell a Master to stop asking me to try women... - 7/10/2014 8:03:28 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel

quote:

ORIGINAL: quizzicalkitten
And there are reports of orgasm during rape... still doesnt mean the victim wanted it.

Orgasm during rape was exactly what I was referring to.




And that's exactly why I used the pepper in nose analogy. Irritate a mucus membrane enough and it will spasm.

Which doesn't make it pleasurable. Or desirable.

But your source also implies that all women are into bestiality. Because there was a measurable response while watching bononos have sex. You know anyone who is? Because I don't. And I will use that to discredit the entire source. If it can't be trusted to determine who is having sex with other primate species, then it can't be trusted at all.


(in reply to GotSteel)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: How to tell a Master to stop asking me to try women... - 7/10/2014 11:49:15 PM   
ivone57


Posts: 279
Joined: 1/23/2005
Status: offline 		tell him in no uncertain words, I AM NOT BI SO STOP IT ALREADY IT AINT GOING TO HAPPEN..

_____________________________

ivone

Property of WhipHer

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: How to tell a Master to stop asking me to try women... - 7/11/2014 12:39:40 AM   
subrosaDom


Posts: 724
Joined: 2/16/2014
Status: offline 		This is the first time I have seen the McKinsey perspective on BDSM. They are seriously broadening their verticals :)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CloakedProtector

SinfulBashful, I can imagine that so much different advice could be confusing. So maybe some clean-up could help.

Your dilemma is quite straight forward. You don't want to get involved with women and you want to keep access to an attribute, a dick/cock to name it, of a Dominant with which you have an open non-exclusive relationship and that tries to push you where you don't want to go, namely with your tongue inside a pussy. Now, lets attach a flow to that and see where you could end up.

1) What the Dominant asks does it fall within the pre-negotiated hard limits
-> OPTIONS: Don't do it or change your limits.
->RISK: You COULD loose the dick/cock if you don't do it, but that is NOT certain, there just is a chance.
->ASSESSMENT: Are there others, yes. Can't you find them, probably. Will they be in BDSM, certainly some will. Will they have the same accessibility, possibly. Are they close to you, there must be some. Are they free/available, hopefully.
Are you prepared to be without replacement util you find a MATCHING alternative in the above narrowed down candidates?
-> SOLUTION:
---> Change your limits: problem solved.
---> Don't change your limits: just enjoy until he leaves you (IF he leaves you), possibly pro-actively look-out for replacement because you have no mono-agreement to reduce the "being without" period. In main time support his pushing questions as a lesser consequence.

2) There is no breach of hard limits it was not an initially negotiated set-up
-> OPTIONS: Negotiate it now.
-> RISK: If you don't give in you COULD loose the dick/cock and scenario 1 will apply.
-> ASSESSMENT: Same as in scenario one.
-> SOLUTION:
---> Give in: problem solved.
---> He gives in: Problem solved and he will stop asking.
---> Give it a single try (unilateral); decide after that in a more educated way knowing how you experienced it and if it is worth for securing the dick/cock
---> Give it a try (bi-lateral): Agree in a couple set-up were he accepts the same with a man in order to understand what sacrifice he is asking for. He may not accept but you can try and he may realise/understand your reluctance.
---> No agreement: Things could more abruptly come to an end, although from the psychological/selfishness aspect of things you are worshipping his dick/cock and he must like that or he wouldn't be there any-more given this is an open-non-exclusive and (feeling-wise) non pre-negotiated BDSM relationship. SO don't look at this as if only he has something to offer, you do too and so I am not sure he will leave you as he can set-up his 3-some with others and still see you as you don't seem to mind.

3) You did negotiate and this aspect is part of the power transfer

I'll skip the mayonnaise here. Either get out if now it has suddenly become a hard limit (take your losses) and do your homework better next time or give in, possibly gradually and asking him to smoothly integrate it.
Maybe try to bend the system a little and propose to find women you BOTH could like and have some rapport with and that are not part of is already existing side-live.
Who knows, you might enjoy a hard dick/cock in action that you view during penetration of another women while you can lubricate it with some saliva, work the balls and open your worship experience to a complete new bunch of possibilities.
From there you may get more available to move towards the pussy licking activity that he seems to want (or possibly may concede on in a 50/50 solution).
It is all a matter of smoothing it in agreement not to over-run the engine and make it win-win again.



(in reply to CloakedProtector)
Profile   Post #: 60
Page:   <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: How to tell a Master to stop asking me to try women.. or how to try women when I am straight? Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.156