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subrosaDom -> RE: Forced Bi (9/19/2014 12:08:25 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: MariaB
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ORIGINAL: DesFIP
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ORIGINAL: MariaB
One of the things that absolutely drives me mad on the forums is the adamant dislike people get for a person because of something they once posted to a thread.
I hate to disagree with you Maria, but if someone espouses something that I find morally repugnant, then I am going to adamantly dislike them forever. And I think that's the right thing to do. I'm human, I have judgment. And I believe it is appropriate to use that judgment, otherwise why do we have that ability?
A few years ago I had an online friend on here who jumped on everything I said in the forums and adamantly agreed with me. When I disagreed with him over something he said that clearly couldn’t stand up to logical scrutiny, he let leash a concealed and more unpleasant side. From that day forth I was the target of his sarcasms, metaphors and... satire. He became so bitter; It was as though I’d insulted his mother or deliberately run over his dog, when all I’d actually done was disagree with him in an otherwise spirited discussion.
I often recoil at the vitriol, not only on here but on just about every site I use, (dog forums are an exception) but I accept that uncivil remarks and sarcasms are part of the course in any heavy debating room. Its not something that has me disliking a poster. Different if I see them repeatedly bullying others or start insulting my personal relationships.
On certain forums I’m careful who I quote and disagree with because some people can’t see the difference between a strongly stated disagreement and harassment.
I love challenging peoples ideas. I can’t simply accept other people's ideologies if they directly conflict with my own. I love a rigorous debate, but unfortunately they often turn conversations into a smoking battlefield. That's fine, providing when we move on to the next discussion we aren't still carrying that smoking gun.
There's nothing wrong with sarcasm and obviously some people are just kind of into trading "insults," but there's clearly a line not to cross and there's no place for serious ad hominems (while I don't use these, I don't think someone who repeatedly calls others a "moron" is particularly bothersome, but if you start to make it truly personal and hurtful, you've crossed a line). At the same time, forums are meant to have open discussions, and so you have to have some cajones to stay here. There are obviously threads that don't go in this direction, but if you go to the politics board, where I post frequently, there's plenty of vitriol and you simply have to "man up" or "woman up," as it were.
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