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FieryOpal -> RE: Forced Bi (9/16/2014 10:55:30 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: shiftyw
I've resisted from commenting because I respect both Michael and ladybug.
I know straight ladies who make out at bars or during truth or dare to enhance their sexual appeal to men all the time.
I don't think you forced them to do it. If they really didn't want it- it would've been off limits. I don't mean limits that are meant to be pushed or whatever you're saying- there's a whole other thread about how I don't think hard limits are meant to be tread lightly around.
But I also think you "convinced"/"persuaded" them to do it for you, and it was a soft limit to begin with.
As a bisexual lady myself- I'm just going to say- for most men, not just doms, this is like a sexual "enhancement". I used to never tell a guy I'm serious about straight away that I swing both ways, because they tend to make it the ONLY reason they want to be with me. Its a novelty to them. Until they realize that I could fucking love a girl we play with- and get jealous. You can say its guys my age- but I have experience that discredits that thought. I currently do put it out there, but I make it clear that I would DATE a girl only- not just fuck girls with you (although that's plenty fun too).
And its fine to be with a chick who is just sexually bi in my opinion, but ladies (and I'm not including men in this because I don't really have any insight into this) can definitely use bi sexuality to get the attention of a man they want, in some cases. Even do it FOR the man they want. I know plenty of insecure straight ladies who have had threesomes just to keep the guy around, or keep him from cheating. I think the expectation of ladies to be bi or at least, in bed- is pretty much mainstream in my generation and I barely know any ladies my age who haven't kissed a girl- but still identify as straight- shit I know several ladies who've gotten really drunk and messed around more seriously with girls- and are still straight. Plus, it makes you a bad bitch. If you've EVER watched "Bad Girls Club" (don't even ask, I'm terribly addicted to reality tv)- you'll see that almost EVERY seasons theirs a straight girl who gets "confused" and hooks up with someone- then regrets it or loves it, but it makes them a "Bad Dirty Girl"- which is those who strive to create that identity are after.
I wouldn't say you forced them- so much as society has created that expectation for them- and BDSM communities created this expectation a billion years ago before society did. My guess is it was a soft limit, which they felt stronger about at the beginning- but caved when they saw how badly you wanted it (however you convinced them of that). I doubt either will identify as "Bi" since I don't think they'd be with a girl just on their own now. So I don't think you forced bisexuality down their throat. I think you forced them to do something that pleases you.
Furthermore to get back to the OP- I think forced bisexuality became a non issue when it comes to male doms and sub ladies because it is a societal expectation OUTSIDE of the BDSM community. I also think homosexuality has become vastly more accepted- If someone is telling you to do it, or "forcing you" it becomes way more ok and less taboo. You don't have to come out of the closet, you don't have to feel awkward in the locker room. I mean, SOMEONE FORCED YOU! You had to to please your mistress/master! But these days- a lot of people just explore on their own without needing to find themselves in the BDSM world- so I think its less of a hot topic because bisexuality/homosexuality is way way more accepted these days.
Your insights are eloquently expressed, and it really does help me understand younger-generation women better since I have no daughter (and haven't been able to stay close with my grown nieces). But there's always an abiding maternal instinct of mine, What if this were my daughter or my sister.
I don't blame you one bit for keeping your bisexuality on the down low. It's the same way with these Asian female fetishists who want a petite, stick-looking Cambodian refugee, with epicanthic eyefolds. Well, I'm in a quasi-Catch 22 with this since I'm half Asian and don't have long, sleek black Oriental hair either. I may spend twice as long as other Dommes on line getting to know a subbly candidate for my affections, because I expect for him to be almost as much a sapiosexual as I am and not to be fetish-driven. So out of perhaps 2% of the general male population, there may be 1/10th of 1% I would feel sufficient sexual chemistry with - but not only would he have to age appropriate - then we have to have matching kinks & fetishes, and for it to be logistically feasible for our paths to converge.
Btw Exiled, my reference to polyfuckery was intended for poser poly Doms who have no polyamorous integrity, not the real deal such as yourself and KoM, or those couples who desire to bring a unicorn into their fold as a beloved member of the family.
MariaB, I love how you describe your healthy outlook on your vagina, which is as it should be, a woman's most prized personal possession. I find it baffling when I run across a mature lady who should be a role model for younger women, who doesn't value her womanhood, or who make remarks to other females that their (beautiful, precious) pussies aren't made of gold. You're damn straight my pussy is more valuable than gold. Gold can be bought and traded, my pussy is priceless, and this is how every female should hold not only her femaleness but her entire body in the highest esteem. There are males who would chop off their dicks to have a convincing facsimile of what we were born with. [:D]
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