Where are all the Pro Doms? (Full Version)

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Mercnbeth -> Where are all the Pro Doms? (11/23/2004 9:22:43 AM)

this slave is definitely NOT looking for one, but......a Pro Domme CAN make a considerable amount of money and also make sure that she and her offspring are lavished with expensive (or inexpensive) gifts, college tuiton or pizza at midnight from these paying customers. Why don't more Doms take advantage of this "cash cow" and make their subs foot all of their and/or their family's bills?

I knew this was a issue for beth when she reported it to me this morning while bringing my morning coffee. Because I heard it prior to actually drinking my morning coffee - I forgot that she asked permission to start a thread on this theme. So I already including these thoughts in another thread. But having read some of the posts I though it good to include it here too.

beth was very curious about this subject. And wanted to determine if within the lifestyle there were any advertised Dom's for female slaves. So far her internet search has not found one "Pro Dom".

We frequently attend a club party in LA held at a local "Pro-Lifestyle" club. The club is very successful. It has 11 Pro Doms, 5 switches, and 5 Pro subs on the menu, and is always searching for 'new talent'. It's strictly BDSM - no sex. But you can't order a male heterosexual Pro-Dom from their menu! So I figured it was simply an oversight and I tried to apply for the job. They wouldn't even give me an application! I think this is obviously prejudicial, and I think that all the Doms from this site should join me in a class action suit.

And ever the business person I'm curious. If such a place existed where females could go to 'rent' a heterosexual male, as a Dom or sub, for strictly BDSM play would they go?



GoddessJules -> RE: Where are all the Pro Doms? (11/23/2004 9:28:49 AM)

Some doms do. . .but like I said in another post. . .it is still generally male sub/slaves that are the cash cows to doms. A young male dominant I know (who happens to be straight) "milked" these male cows to pay for his undergraduate and graduate education at a private school. Granted, he had to deal with the sexual proclivities and other males. . .but in the long run, he said it was worth it.

Jules



ManicVortex -> RE: Where are all the Pro Doms? (11/23/2004 10:49:09 AM)

I think it's pretty wild that a submissive would pay for a Dom.. I am trying to figure out how it would be a fullfilling experience. I am not saying it's wrong but wow.

I wouldn't do something like that because I hold the relationship as something sacred and havnig that money element there would be the same as prostitution to me and I don't think I could do that due to the attachments that would be formed emotionally.

I can imagine the issues at the end of the contract wouldn't be pleasant for the Dom or the sub involved. I guess tacking on 'Professional' makes all the difference.



GoddessJules -> RE: Where are all the Pro Doms? (11/23/2004 11:05:07 AM)

I guess different stroke for different folks. I don't see anything wrong with his way or your way. To me they are equally valid. . .and as long as the people involved are happy with the arrangements in either case. . .who am I to say anything about it?

Jules



sweetpleaser -> RE: Where are all the Pro Doms? (11/23/2004 11:58:32 AM)

I would pay for a male dom if I was looking for an experienced play partner and no relationship (Topcat, wanna job? hehe). Sometimes it is nice to have no attachments and to trust the person you are playing with. Of course I would get references first.[:)]



MemphisDsCouple -> RE: Where are all the Pro Doms? (11/23/2004 12:30:43 PM)

A couple of on-topic anecdotes you might like to read:

I knew a guy who collected monthly "tribute" from all his subs. (He had a "stable".) They (the subs) were all married (to someone else) and they each got a few days a month with him. I was on a conversational basis with two of these women and got the same story (independently) from each so that speaks to the veracity of it (for me). Also, he was quite open about it since he was always looking to add to his "stable" (his terminology).

Also, I know many instances in which the sub/slave turns over all her earnings to her dom/master/owner but these are all co-habitation (full time live-in) relationships so not really what the thread is about.

Personally, I've had women offer to buy things and/or furnish things for/to me. (Can't remember a woman actually offering cash though.) For example, I turned in my cell phone a couple years ago 'cause I don't like being constantly "on call" LOL... I rather prefer to get messages. Anyway, a few months ago I was in the early stages of discussing a relationship with a woman and she wanted to provide a cell phone for me. LOL But the cost is not why I got rid of the cell phone in the first place. Also, I'm financially comfortable so offers to pay for things don't hold a lot of interest for me. The above experience is just an example. There have been other examples as well of women offering to provide things.

OTOH, it is a personal rule/quirk/preference that if I/we want to meet a woman and travel is involved to meet, I do demand that she travel at her own expense to meet us. After she arrives I take care of her hotel costs, meals, entertainment and whatever. (I like for a woman to have a hotel room of her own for a first meeting. I don't want anyone to feel at all pressured, trapped, cornered or in any way obligated on a first meeting.) But, I want her to make an investment in meeting us so I expect her to pay for her own travel. This doesn't happen often (rarely, in fact) because we don't often find enough common ground with someone to follow through with a face to face meeting. But when there is such a meeting, that's the way it works.

B. (The male half of MemphisDsCouple)



Estring -> RE: Where are all the Pro Doms? (11/23/2004 3:10:28 PM)

Actually I think it is just supply and demand. A female sub will always be able to get it for free. There are many more Male Doms than female subs, so she would never have a problem with finding one to play with her.
Male subs on the other hand outnumber Female Dommes so they have a much harder time finding one to play with them. So they pay.



MemphisDsCouple -> RE: Where are all the Pro Doms? (11/23/2004 4:03:01 PM)

quote:

Actually I think it is just supply and demand. A female sub will always be able to get it for free. There are many more Male Doms than female subs, so she would never have a problem with finding one to play with her.


Yep. Not only that but the vast majority will let her say what they will and will not do to/with her, which puts them (the "doms") in the position of providing service. No charge. So not only free, but delivered as per special order.



Mercnbeth -> RE: Where are all the Pro Doms? (11/23/2004 4:23:54 PM)

This subject is being discussed in two different threads here's what I posted in the other place about 'supply and demand'. Just wondering buddy, you want to get in on that "class action" discrimination case on behalf of other Male Doms against that club we were at Saturday night?[:D]

Of course that's the right answer, supply and demand. If a pretty woman walks up to 10 males walking down the street, hand them a flogger and ask them to use it on them and 7 out of 10 will agree. (I think the current acceptable ratio of gay men to straight is 3 out of 10 accounting for the 3 turn downs.)



GoddessJules -> RE: Where are all the Pro Doms? (11/23/2004 4:52:03 PM)

quote:

Yep. Not only that but the vast majority will let her say what they will and will not do to/with her, which puts them (the "doms") in the position of providing service. No charge. So not only free, but delivered as per special order.


REALLYYY?????!!!! Where do I sign up? I think I want one of those dom creatures myself!![;)]

Jules



Estring -> RE: Where are all the Pro Doms? (11/23/2004 5:41:41 PM)

quote:

you want to get in on that "class action" discrimination case on behalf of other Male Doms against that club we were at Saturday night


I sure do. Let's sue for "pain and suffering", since we are barred from inflicting "pain and suffering". [:D]



lovingmaster45 -> RE: Where are all the Pro Doms? (11/24/2004 4:04:40 AM)

quote:

Actually I think it is just supply and demand. A female sub will always be able to get it for free. There are many more Male Doms than female subs, so she would never have a problem with finding one to play with her.


WHOA there. This discussion is about quality players in the form of Pro Doms. I think you are confusing your standard male top with a whip for an accomplished Dom. The former are just looking to get laid and using BDSM as a tool; the later have spent years being Mentored and training subs/slaves.

The sub females and sub males who visit us always bring gifts; as do the tops who come for additional training. Some gifts are lavish, some modest. Since we are not in need financially, we truly value the gesture more than the monetary value of the gift.

Head Bitch Barbie is a devoted "plant person"; how very convenient that her "slut puppy" owns one of the largest nurseries in NC. I am a scotch snob; slut susan's hubby ownes a liquor store. Isn't life grand?

We view these gestures as a genuine "Thank You" from the gift bearers.

IMHO the reason there are so many more Pro Dommes is that weak cheating men would much rather pay than have a real relationship; it is much less bothersome for them. Females in general value the relationship more.



INSIDEYOURMIND -> RE: Where are all the Pro Doms? (11/24/2004 2:53:58 PM)

Mercnbeth,

Thank you for your interest in the Master Jeffrey's Online Domination classes.

After 500 hours of study, and testing, you will be mailed your handsome, simulated wooden mounted certificate that certifies you as a Professional Dominant, which allows you all the priviledges, and honors as such.

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Estring -> RE: Where are all the Pro Doms? (11/24/2004 3:05:45 PM)

quote:

WHOA there. This discussion is about quality players in the form of Pro Doms


Actually, the discussion was about Pro Doms. Doms who get paid for their services. Whether they are quality Doms or not is irrelevant. You could be Master Of The Universe, but you won't make a living as a Pro Dom.
You did allude to something that I think is a factor too. Females generally are looking for a relationship. To pay does not fit that preference.



masterdougyes -> RE: Where are all the Pro Doms? (11/24/2004 4:23:15 PM)

I have had a number of my subs turn to being Pro-Dommes. They quickly found it non-fullfilling and that they could not play at the level they wished. It was all about providing a service to a customer. They also find that some customers do come back but others just want to try it and see what happens. When they don't get sex, they don't come back.

In either case, as a Dom, I would be happy to provide the service if I could find women who desired it. For me, BDSM is not about sex so that certainly would not be the issue. Anyone looking in Southern Oregon?

One thing that is certain is that women tend to want a relationship where men tend to want to be beat and then get on with the rest of the day. May be a stereotypical statment but that's been my experience.



Lordandmaster -> RE: Where are all the Pro Doms? (11/24/2004 7:35:57 PM)

Funny, I've found the numbers to be exactly the opposite. There are many more female subs than male doms. There may be plenty of men who CLAIM to be doms, but they don't tend to have subs--or at least they don't tend to keep them for very long.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Estring

There are many more Male Doms than female subs, so she would never have a problem with finding one to play with her.




sub4hire -> RE: Where are all the Pro Doms? (11/24/2004 10:12:39 PM)

quote:

Actually, the discussion was about Pro Doms. Doms who get paid for their services. Whether they are quality Doms or not is irrelevant. You could be Master Of The Universe, but you won't make a living as a Pro Dom.
You did allude to something that I think is a factor too. Females generally are looking for a relationship. To pay does not fit that preference.


Estring, I believe you were here when Sinergy brought up the fact. Some local to LA guy called up the radio station and claimed to be a pro Dom living in LA. I think he claimed he made something like 300 an hour. Really impressed some who heard the guy on the radio. Sounded like a sham to me.
I'm still yet to hear about this person in our circles. By your responses I'm assuming you've never met him yet either?



Zensee -> RE: Where are all the Pro Doms? (11/26/2004 2:25:29 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingmaster45

IMHO the reason there are so many more Pro Dommes is that weak cheating men would much rather pay than have a real relationship; it is much less bothersome for them. Females in general value the relationship more.


Paying for the time of a truly Dominant pro, is not necessarily a symptom of weakness but may be a sensible solution to a common problem. And not everyone may have the flexibility, opportunuty or need to get a full time, live in situation.

People are in loving marriages but find themselves, later in life, realising they still need something their partner can't give them. Many of my Friend's clients are happily married. They remain so because they can find what is missing, from their marriage, with their Domme. Often the wives are fully aware of what is going on. Think of it as therapy.

Z.



topcat -> RE: Where are all the Pro Doms? (11/27/2004 6:45:41 AM)

quote:

I would pay for a male dom if I was looking for an experienced play partner and no relationship (Topcat, wanna job? hehe). Sometimes it is nice to have no attachments and to trust the person you are playing with. Of course I would get references first.


Midear Ann-

I actually have been paid, and for almost exactly the reasons you listed. My clients consisted of a lesbian couple (Lucy and Ethel), who were both submissive (they flipped a Susan B. Antony to see who had to be the domme<g>), and knowing nothing about his stuff, and being wildly enthusisatic, had had a few mishaps, and wanted to learn some how to, and basic safety stuff (like 'mircowaving crayolas is not a good way to do a wax scene!')

The other was a married lady who husband announced that he had a deep rooted need to sumbit to a dominant woman, and if she didn't step up, he'd look elsewhere. Then he left for work. She wanted some idea of what it was to be on the bottom, and again, some basic technques.They are to all indications, living happily ever after.

In both cases, they insisted on paying, as a form of control in the relationship.

Stay warm,
Lawrence



Galen -> RE: ...all the Pro Doms? Pro Dom replies (11/30/2004 7:43:03 PM)

Hi - interesting thread.

I began pro Dom-ing this summer after 7 years active in the lifestyle. There are a lot of reasons a female sub finds a pro Dom appealing - someone skilled, safe, and willing to let her explore what is true for her at her own pace without expectations or judgements. And they may not be ready for an emotional committment...and that doesn't necessarily exclude emotional intensity or intimacy by being present in the moment. I also offer exploration of what I term sacred ritua D/s and BDSM and that aspect appeals to women seeking a spiritual context to their sexuality. You can see more about that at my site (still under construction - but up) at http://dakadom.com

And I am discriminated against - I do not generally get equal pay to proDommes - lol! sign me up as a star witness for the class action suit!

I will have a profile up here soon as DakaDom - my Galens_realm profile is different.

Blessings,

Galen
http://galensrealm.com
http://tetruss.com




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