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Best & worst things to see in a Dom/me's profile? - 7/30/2014 7:55:55 AM   
kinksterparty


Posts: 89
Joined: 4/4/2011
Status: offline 		As a submissive / slave, what would you consider the worst & best things to read in a profile of a Dom/me or a switch?

Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Best & worst things to see in a Dom/me's profile? - 7/30/2014 9:34:28 AM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kinksterparty

As a submissive / slave, what would you consider the worst & best things to read in a profile of a Dom/me or a switch?


Just to get this party started, IF I were an s-type, the biggest red flag waving in my face would be a Dominant demanding NO LIMITS.

Everyone has limits. When I see a profile of a No-Limits slave, I can't take this person seriously for one moment.
He's either delusional at best or mentally disturbed, and has mistaken submission as an open invitation for abuse.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to kinksterparty)
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RE: Best & worst things to see in a Dom/me's profile? - 7/30/2014 10:27:13 AM   
shiftyw


Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline 		Anyone who feels a lot of submissives aren't "true" or "real" is a red flag. Dick pics are usually (99% of the time) a red flag too.
My favorite thing to see is what, besides kink, we might have in common- vanilla activities.

(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Best & worst things to see in a Dom/me's profile? - 7/30/2014 10:42:53 AM   
littleladybug


Posts: 1082
Joined: 5/30/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw

Anyone who feels a lot of submissives aren't "true" or "real" is a red flag.


Agreed-- I always find it interesting to read profiles, especially with journal entries, which complain about the lack of "true submissives" on the site. From my perspective, that just reeks of "sour grapes", and this would be someone that I would just simply avoid.

In terms of what I like to see-- a realistic approach. Do you want just a fuck buddy? Are you needing to be discreet because your SO doesn't know? Do you want something long term? Be out and honest about it. Personally, I detest being lied to-- and a "bait and switch" in a profile falls into that category for me. Surely, put your best foot forward in your profile, but set out what you want. I, or anyone else, may not like it, but at least your desires and expectations are out there from the start.

(in reply to shiftyw)
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RE: Best & worst things to see in a Dom/me's profile? - 7/30/2014 11:58:08 AM   
InHisHeart


Posts: 630
Joined: 3/22/2014
Status: offline 		I agree with the others. I'm not looking for a Dom but out of boredom checked out some profiles the other night. Along with what the others mentioned, if he has a pic of himself up, I not only look at him but the background.

I ran across one the other night where the room he was in was a disaster. It looked to be the living room, had piles of clothes all over the furniture, stuff on the floor, all over tables, etc. You could see into the kitchen and that was just as bad.

I don't expect or want a Dom to be OCD clean but be somewhat tidy and have some organizational skills in your every day living. The impression I got was a guy that's lazy, has no motivation, is unorganized and doesn't give a damn. That impression off course might not be true for this person but it was the impression I got and if I were looking for a Dom, saw that much disorder, I wouldn't even bother to read his profile.

_____________________________

I don't have a bucket list but my fucket list is a mile long.

I would rather have a mind opened by wonder than one closed by belief.


(in reply to kinksterparty)
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RE: Best & worst things to see in a Dom/me's profile? - 7/30/2014 12:06:13 PM   
DaddySatyr


Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline
"You don't need a safe word. I know what I'm doing!"

"... but my wife and I don't have sex, anymore."

" ... tribute is required."

"NEVER go into the basement!!!"







Screen captures still RULE! Ya feel me?

_____________________________

A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

(in reply to InHisHeart)
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RE: Best & worst things to see in a Dom/me's profile? - 7/30/2014 12:19:00 PM   
shiftyw


Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr




"... but my wife and I don't have sex, anymore."






OH MAN. Seriously this one so much.

A sexless marriage may be a pity- but its that person's problem, not mine.

(in reply to DaddySatyr)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Best & worst things to see in a Dom/me's profile? - 7/30/2014 1:12:37 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Yeah, especially if he claims that his wife knows and is on board with him boinking on the side.

I like the ones who claim fifteen or twenty years in the lifestyle and don't understand basics, like the difference between lifestyle and kinky sex.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to shiftyw)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Best & worst things to see in a Dom/me's profile? - 7/30/2014 1:23:49 PM   
FriendlyMuppet


Posts: 171
Joined: 11/16/2010
From: Corpus Christi, Texas
Status: offline 		A couple of the things that cause me to move onto the next profile:

1. Any mentioning of findom as a main focus. I don't care if it's mentioned as an interest, but when I get the impression that the only reason she's here is to make money off of any gullible sub, I lose all interest.
2. Profiles that have absolutely no information in them. I see a lot of very attractive women who put up a hot picture and then nothing else. Not surprisingly, they're probably getting tons and tons of email responses from potential subs. Not worth my time if they have nothing to say about themselves.
3. Negativity. Some create a profile for the sole purpose of non-stop complaining (kind of like this post I'm doing). Generally, I move on from those.
4. Anything that indicates that she doesn't like muppets. I mean, honestly, I'm a friendy muppet. Well, I guess if her desire is to hurt a friendly muppet, it's probably not exactly a bad thing, so maybe I should reconsider that one. I'll leave that one open for now.

_____________________________

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(in reply to DarkSteven)
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RE: Best & worst things to see in a Dom/me's profile? - 7/30/2014 1:47:07 PM   
SweetAmber32


Posts: 24
Joined: 9/25/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Yeah, especially if he claims that his wife knows and is on board with him boinking on the side.

I like the ones who claim fifteen or twenty years in the lifestyle and don't understand basics, like the difference between lifestyle and kinky sex.


And it's not always what's on the profile, but what is said during conversations. I had to explain to a "Dom" the other night what pet play was. He thought it had to do with real pets.

(in reply to FriendlyMuppet)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Best & worst things to see in a Dom/me's profile? - 7/30/2014 1:51:23 PM   
RockaRolla


Posts: 1153
Joined: 1/20/2014
From: South Florida
Status: offline 		Not 100% linked to profiles, but if said D-type sends me a message with details to contradict what he's put in his profile (what he's looking for, mainly) that tells me he's settling or just looking for anything that will get him laid. Same with canned introductory messages.

Other red flags include a demand for no limits, refusal to post face pictures (especially if they come with the standard "I can't post because of work" excuse), an interest in poly but the spouse either doesn't know or they prefer a DADT policy, or minimal to no profile.

< Message edited by RockaRolla -- 7/30/2014 1:53:21 PM >

(in reply to kinksterparty)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Best & worst things to see in a Dom/me's profile? - 7/30/2014 2:03:13 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Shit, I am lining up for a blowjob, I am golden in all areas.

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to RockaRolla)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Best & worst things to see in a Dom/me's profile? - 7/31/2014 12:32:13 AM   
orgasmdenial12


Posts: 613
Joined: 9/18/2012
Status: offline 		Best things - reflection on themselves and their life, sense of humour, good spelling and grammar, intelligence but with humility. Sexy and dominant, but approachable and non-threatening.

Worst things - bad spelling and grammar, text speak, one or two lines, people who say 'anything you want to know, ask', complaints about fakes or, even worse, name and shaming, generic black and white bdsm photos of some dude in a suit and some skinny submissive with long hair looking all humble. Married and cheating, negativity.

(in reply to kinksterparty)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Best & worst things to see in a Dom/me's profile? - 7/31/2014 6:30:40 PM   
lostnlooking9


Posts: 42
Joined: 10/27/2011
Status: offline 		For me, the worst things:
-Nothing at all. empty, uninformative.
- Anything FinDomme. To each your own, but if I need to give you money to have a simple vanilla conversation, then I just move on.
- Highly degrading and disrespectful things. Again, to each their own, but I have no interest in a Domme who sees me as a Pig, or crap, or what have you.
-Negativity. Badmouthing, bitching and other such comments. Some, I can understand and forgive. The whole profile and every journal? no.
- All BDSM or sexual. Odd perhaps, and this isn't always bad to me. Most times, however it comes off as trashy to me.
- nude pictures. True this isn't really part of the profile, but a Domme with a ton of nudes of herself, makes me question her.

Best:

- Anything that shows who, they are as a person. Natural, Fluid. Original. Vanilla topics. Uniqueness. Any profile that stands out like that in those ways, is what I see as best.
- updated journal. if they have been here 5 years with no journal. it makes me wonder if the profile itself is also 5 years old...

That's mostly it. :)

(in reply to orgasmdenial12)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Best & worst things to see in a Dom/me's profile? - 7/31/2014 11:10:17 PM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline 		FR

Good things:
- Pictures that weren't taken in a mirror/with a webcam (because they suggest the person actually has social interactions)
- Pictures that hint at an interest or hobby (pets, musical instruments, working on a car - doesn't really matter what the hobby is)
- Decent spelling and grammar. At least making it look like they tried.
- Information on their personality, goals, dreams, interests, or life circumstances (hopefully a bit more unique that 'I like hanging out' or 'I like watching movies')

Bad things:
- Pictures stolen from porn sites, especially super unrealistic images
- Pictures of their ex(es)
- Dick picks (one thoughtfully composed dick pick, not as their primary, can be forgiven. Extreme close up of a knob with pants round the knees will not. Pictures of the dick lined up beside a ruler, can of red bull etc for scale are outright gross)
- Asshole shots. Close up vagina shots.
- A whole gallery of 'erotic' photos of them with no vanilla shots.
- A profile which reads as a wish list of every sex act they hope to do
- A profile which is very critical of their ex/other users of the site/other people's bodies (don't mind people stating a preference for a body type, but using cruel terms to describe those with other body types shows me you're shallow and obnoxious)
- Any profile full of bitterness or 'why do I bother?'
- Massively unrealistic requirements (eg. an average middle aged couple looking for a nineteen year old beauty queen to live with them as a sex slave and maid, plus also pay room and board, or anyone who has a list of slave 'rules' that's three pages long and contains things like 'slave will drop to the knees whenever Master comes within 10 feet')
- An interests list with 'expert' beside almost everything. Either they have very low standards for what an expert is, or they're delusional. Also I'm dubious of anyone who is an expert at wearing masks, receiving massages etc.
- Demands that you use honorifics from the first contact
- Profiles that go on and on about how superior the dominant is and how the reader is just a pig/worm/wallet

There's probably more...
Though actually, I'm not sure those are bad things to be included in a profile, since they act as huge warning signs from first contact.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to lostnlooking9)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Best & worst things to see in a Dom/me's profile? - 8/1/2014 6:14:14 AM   
Alt0605


Posts: 1
Joined: 7/30/2014
Status: offline 		I have posted that I am married, I have a good sex life with my wife and she has been submissive for many years. I have never engaged in D/S sex with anyone else outside of my marriage (I did with previous girlfriends).We have both had affairs in the past but we prefer not to discuss it. She knows that I will look for someone to enjoy the Dom aspect of my character, but again doesn't want it ramming down her throat. Does the fact I am married and looking for extramarital sex completely put everyone off?

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Best & worst things to see in a Dom/me's profile? - 8/1/2014 6:38:41 AM   
EmberRose93


Posts: 14
Joined: 5/28/2014
Status: offline 		Not everyone but lots of people. Lots of people lie and say they're in your situation when they're just cheating. Also many people want more than no strings attached sex or even fwb.

(in reply to Alt0605)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Best & worst things to see in a Dom/me's profile? - 8/1/2014 7:08:11 AM   
DaddySatyr


Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Alt0605

I have posted that I am married, I have a good sex life with my wife and she has been submissive for many years. I have never engaged in D/S sex with anyone else outside of my marriage (I did with previous girlfriends).We have both had affairs in the past but we prefer not to discuss it. She knows that I will look for someone to enjoy the Dom aspect of my character, but again doesn't want it ramming down her throat. Does the fact I am married and looking for extramarital sex completely put everyone off?



I don't want to derail this thread so re-post your original in a new thread and I promise to add to the conversation.







Screen captures still RULE! Ya feel me?

_____________________________

A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

(in reply to Alt0605)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Best & worst things to see in a Dom/me's profile? - 8/1/2014 7:44:52 AM   
InHisHeart


Posts: 630
Joined: 3/22/2014
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Alt0605

I have posted that I am married, I have a good sex life with my wife and she has been submissive for many years. I have never engaged in D/S sex with anyone else outside of my marriage (I did with previous girlfriends).We have both had affairs in the past but we prefer not to discuss it. She knows that I will look for someone to enjoy the Dom aspect of my character, but again doesn't want it ramming down her throat. Does the fact I am married and looking for extramarital sex completely put everyone off?


It's not the kind of relationship I would want so it would be a put off for me if I were looking. I feel what you want is all well and good for someone who is interested as long as all parties involved are aware of the situation, are ok with it and know where they stand.

_____________________________

I don't have a bucket list but my fucket list is a mile long.

I would rather have a mind opened by wonder than one closed by belief.


(in reply to Alt0605)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Best & worst things to see in a Dom/me's profile? - 8/1/2014 8:06:54 AM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Alt0605
I have posted that I am married, I have a good sex life with my wife and she has been submissive for many years. I have never engaged in D/S sex with anyone else outside of my marriage (I did with previous girlfriends).We have both had affairs in the past but we prefer not to discuss it. She knows that I will look for someone to enjoy the Dom aspect of my character, but again doesn't want it ramming down her throat. Does the fact I am married and looking for extramarital sex completely put everyone off?


I can't say whether there will be women into that, though you might try going to a play party. But I can say that you'll alienate people by having your one picture be some girls breast.

(in reply to Alt0605)
Profile   Post #: 20
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