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RE: Public Submission - 8/7/2014 6:05:02 AM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thompsonx
quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

She was courteous and considerate in patiently awaiting her half of their couple to return from the restroom for over 1-1/2 hours while he went semi-AWOL bromancing the other guys.
It does not take a mind-reader to show common courtesy, unless it is perfectly acceptable to you for your date to excuse herself to powder her nose and then not return to the table to rejoin you while she drinks rounds of beer at the bar with a couple of the ladies who have separated themselves from the group.

Perhaps it would have been wiser of him to anticipate his dommes insecurities and returned to their table after going to the rest room and checked in and reassured her of his undying affction and asked her renewed permission to complete his assigned mission of "bromancing" her potential new friends husbands.

So observing good manners in your book = insecurities? Never mind chivalry--that's obviously beyond your level of comprehension. Then you wouldn't have a problem with friends taking you out somewhere to celebrate, then (a) start ignoring you, and/or dumping your ass and (b) sticking you with the bill? Or wouldn't you consider that to be an ignorant punkass motherfucker move?

quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal
quote:

ORIGINAL: thompsonx
quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

Do you always wait until your lady calls you out in front of others to indicate that your rudeness and/or inconsideration has gotten to where you have pissed her off? Do you not have more class and better aplomb that that?

I am not a mind reader.

It does not take a mind-reader to show common courtesy
(Above quote restated for emphasis)
I will take by your response that you are assenting to not having more class nor better aplomb to know the difference between acting rude & inconsiderate and showing consideration for others.

quote:

ORIGINAL: thompsonx
quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal
quote:

ORIGINAL: thompsonx

To cut her off from my affections and kinkey fuckery would be stingy,mean and childish.

Earth to Dude, YOU would be the one getting cut off, not the other way around.

That presupposes the fallacy that the sexual affections of one of us is somehow more heavily weighted than the other.

Hm-mm, lemme see...when men without a steady sexual partner want instant-on-demand sex, who pays for whom? Yes, the value of obtaining sexual favors from a woman IS more heavily weighted than the prevalent no-cost availability of getting sex from a man.

quote:

ORIGINAL: thompsonx
quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

You leave no doubt that you are siding with your gender regardless of the circumstances,

I am siding with the facts as presented.
ROFLMMFAO As presented by whom? The Bromance Fairy (your imaginary friend)?

quote:

ORIGINAL: thompsonx
quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

whereas I would find any such conduct remotely resembling the aforesaid unacceptable whether it had been the female half of the couple neglecting her male counterpart in public.

I missed the part where you said she was a jerk for ignoring him while he was doing what she told him to do.

Talk about twisted logic. You're going to try to twist this around so that the onus of responsibility to seek out the attention of her inattentive lover falls upon her shoulders?
And if she had gone over to the bar to retrieve her sub, you would be saying she was acting like a low-class Bitch throwing her weight around to embarrass her pwur pweshuss snowflake.
Wow, I'm so glad you aren't a judge. The rape victim-survivor was the one who did the provocative visual sexual assault on the rapist by wearing clothes that didn't cover her up from head to toe?

quote:

ORIGINAL: thompsonx

He mentioned that his domme told him not to speak. That sorta puts an end to two way communication.

That was in the car on the way home while he was driving under the influence.
Hearing a slurred spiel of excuses might have infuriated her. Getting into an argument is counter-productive to conducting calm, open communications (while sober).
The way he describes it, she didn't lose her temper and did not administer discipline while enraged.

You aren't familiar with how D/s dynamics actually work, are you, much less an F/m or FLR relationship?

< Message edited by FieryOpal -- 8/7/2014 6:14:21 AM >

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to thompsonx)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Public Submission - 8/7/2014 9:59:39 AM   
thompsonx


Posts: 23322
Joined: 10/1/2006
Status: offline 		ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

Perhaps it would have been wiser of him to anticipate his dommes insecurities and returned to their table after going to the rest room and checked in and reassured her of his undying affction and asked her renewed permission to complete his assigned mission of "bromancing" her potential new friends husbands.

So observing good manners in your book = insecurities? Never mind chivalry--that's obviously beyond your level of comprehension.



That is not what I said.

Then you wouldn't have a problem with friends taking you out somewhere to celebrate, then (a) start ignoring you, and/or dumping your ass and (b) sticking you with the bill? Or wouldn't you consider that to be an ignorant punkass motherfucker move?

I would have a problem if my s.o. were to assign me a mission and give me shit about accomplishing it. we were not discussing the scenario you describe.



Do you always wait until your lady calls you out in front of others to indicate that your rudeness and/or inconsideration has gotten to where you have pissed her off?


Not being a mind reader yes I would require her to point out my short commings.

Do you not have more class and better aplomb that that?

No



To cut her off from my affections and kinkey fuckery would be stingy,mean and childish.


Earth to Dude, YOU would be the one getting cut off, not the other way around.


That presupposes the fallacy that the sexual affections of one of us is somehow more heavily weighted than the other.



Hm-mm, lemme see...when men without a steady sexual partner want instant-on-demand sex, who pays for whom? Yes, the value of obtaining sexual favors from a woman IS more heavily weighted than the prevalent no-cost availability of getting sex from a man.


That would be your opinion. My experience of 70 years has shown me that the "no fault fuck" still exists.



You leave no doubt that you are siding with your gender regardless of the circumstances,

I am siding with the facts as presented.


ROFLMMFAO As presented by whom? The Bromance Fairy (your imaginary friend)?

Nope...the op's statements



whereas I would find any such conduct remotely resembling the aforesaid unacceptable whether it had been the female half of the couple neglecting her male counterpart in public.


I missed the part where you said she was a jerk for ignoring him while he was doing what she told him to do.



Talk about twisted logic. You're going to try to twist this around so that the onus of responsibility to seek out the attention of her inattentive lover falls upon her shoulders?
And if she had gone over to the bar to retrieve her sub, you would be saying she was acting like a low-class Bitch throwing her weight around to embarrass her pwur pweshuss snowflake.


Not at all. She sent him on a mission. For her to check on his progress would not be the actions of a "low class bitch"

Wow, I'm so glad you aren't a judge. The rape victim-survivor was the one who did the provocative visual sexual assault on the rapist by wearing clothes that didn't cover her up from head to toe?

I have said nothing to indicate I feel that way

He mentioned that his domme told him not to speak. That sorta puts an end to two way communication.


That was in the car on the way home while he was driving under the influence.
Hearing a slurred spiel of excuses might have infuriated her. Getting into an argument is counter-productive to conducting calm, open communications (while sober).


I have seen nothing from the op which would indicate she was sober and he was "legally under the influence". The op did mention that she had no problem articulating to him her opinion. That being so why would he be kept from offering his input if communication is important.



You aren't familiar with how D/s dynamics actually work, are you, much less an F/m or FLR relationship?

Maybe not, but I am quite aware of what civil behaviour is.


< Message edited by thompsonx -- 8/7/2014 10:01:31 AM >

(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Public Submission - 8/7/2014 7:59:34 PM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline 		[Brackets & notations mine + Quotes parsed to make fecking sense out of this convoluted mess.]
Since you keep insisting on furthering your fabricated agenda that OP was somehow dispatched by his Mistress on a bromancing mission, you give me no alternative but to call you out on your bullshit.

quote:

ORIGINAL: thompsonx [Post#38]

They were not at a seperate table but at the bar. [1st factual inaccuracy]

It would make sense that if he knew that this would offend her he would not do it.
[Ya think? Is this a concession on your part that males actually DO have mind-reading abilities? ]

She did not indicate her disfavor until they were leaving. It would appear that he was punished for not being able to read her mind.
[More accurately, he did not bother to check in with his SO date until they were getting ready to leave. Whether he could read her mind is immaterial--he could read her mood, tone & demeanor.]
quote:

ORIGINAL: Admiresdommes [OPost#22]
I could tell she was upset so I asked, "Do you mind if I have one more?"

Perhaps it would have been wiser of him to anticipate his dommes insecurities and returned to their table after going to the rest room and checked in and reassured her of his undying affction and asked her renewed permission to complete his assigned mission of "bromancing" her potential new friends husbands.

Is it not a customary practice to return to your table after leaving for a restroom break? This is a simple yes or no answer, minus all the doubletalk.
Please show me where he was given permission (renewable or otherwise) or dispatched upon a bromancing mission. If you cannot without further twisting the actual unfolding of events, then I shall consider this your 2nd factual inaccuracy.
quote:

ORIGINAL: thompsonx [Post#42]
quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal [MyPost#41]

Then you wouldn't have a problem with friends taking you out somewhere to celebrate, then (a) start ignoring you, and/or dumping your ass and (b) sticking you with the bill? Or wouldn't you consider that to be an ignorant punkass motherfucker move?

I would have a problem if my s.o. were to assign me a mission and give me shit about accomplishing it. we were not discussing the scenario you describe.

Show me where OP says he was assigned a clear-cut reconnaissance mission that he was tasked by his Domme to accomplish single-handedly without her involvement and/or participation.
If you cannot, then I shall include this as related to the subject matter of your 2nd factual inaccuracy above.

quote:

ORIGINAL: thompsonx [Post#42]
quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal [MyPost#41]

Do you always wait until your lady calls you out in front of others to indicate that your rudeness and/or inconsideration has gotten to where you have pissed her off?

Not being a mind reader yes I would require her to point out my short commings.

I have to ask, does this privilege extend to female CC forum posters?

quote:

ORIGINAL: thompsonx [Post#42]
quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal [MyPost#41]

Hm-mm, lemme see...when men without a steady sexual partner want instant-on-demand sex, who pays for whom? Yes, the value of obtaining sexual favors from a woman IS more heavily weighted than the prevalent no-cost availability of getting sex from a man.

That would be your opinion....

Would you be so kind as to confirm whether the ladies in the butthuts in Nevada pay for the pleasure of your company or whether you pay for theirs?
Female sex worker supply and male client demand is the usual de rigueur.

quote:

ORIGINAL: thompsonx [Post#42]
quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal [MyPost#41]
quote:

ORIGINAL: thompsonx [Post#40]
quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal [MyPost#39]

whereas I would find any such conduct remotely resembling the aforesaid unacceptable whether it had been the female half of the couple neglecting her male counterpart in public.

I missed the part where you said she was a jerk for ignoring him while he was doing what she told him to do.

Talk about twisted logic. You're going to try to twist this around so that the onus of responsibility to seek out the attention of her inattentive lover falls upon her shoulders?
And if she had gone over to the bar to retrieve her sub, you would be saying she was acting like a low-class Bitch throwing her weight around to embarrass her pwur pweshuss snowflake.

Not at all. She sent him on a mission. For her to check on his progress would not be the actions of a "low class bitch"

Yet again, please show me where she dispatched her sub "on a mission." If you cannot, I will still count this as part of your 2nd factual inaccuracy.

quote:

ORIGINAL: thompsonx [Post#42]
quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal [MyPost#41]

That was in the car on the way home while he was driving under the influence.
Hearing a slurred spiel of excuses might have infuriated her. Getting into an argument is counter-productive to conducting calm, open communications (while sober).

I have seen nothing from the op which would indicate she was sober and he was "legally under the influence". The op did mention that she had no problem articulating to him her opinion. That being so why would he be kept from offering his input if communication is important.

I never said that she was sober. Her sobriety was not brought up, but having rounds of beers for over 1/-1/2 hours puts OP under the influence.
(If I'm not mistaken, I believe the alcohol content of just two beers will qualify in some states. I don't drink and drive, nor do I ride with a driver who has had anything to drink, so I don't know the technicalities of this.)

If only one of them is not sober, then two-way communications to re-evaluate their D/s dynamics should be put on hold until both parties can give fully informed consent, which OP indicated did take place shortly thereafter. (See his Post#33: "we had a nice discussion.")
There is nothing to indicate that the discipline which was administered when they got home later that night was anything new to this couple or that OP did not accept the consequences for incurring his Mistress' displeasure.

You are reading non-consensuality into this incident where there is none. [3rd+factual inaccuracy per your personal projections?]

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to thompsonx)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Public Submission - 8/7/2014 8:17:13 PM   
Lucylastic


Posts: 40310
Status: offline
quote:

We were out with a group of friends who are not openly aware of our dynamic but likely have drawn some conclusions. We had dinner and went to a bar afterwards. We sat at a table in one room and I went to the restroom. On my way back I ran into two of the guys we were with watching the baseball game at the bar. Rather than go back to the table i started talking to them and ended up watching the game. I did not return to the table for over an hour and a half. However, I could see the table and she could see me. Everyone seemed to be having a good time.


Im only going with this ....if you had left me alone for an hour and a half, vanilla or submissive without single word... you would have gone home alone....
I dont do the screaming or arguing in public, I also do not cut off sex or removal of communication, but I would have apologised to the "friends" of both sexes and gone home.
It is completely ignorant in my opinion to not say a single word, no matter HOW friendly the group were.
but my expectation of simple manners is old fashioned. Thank god

_____________________________

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(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Public Submission - 8/7/2014 10:00:43 PM   
subrosaDom


Posts: 724
Joined: 2/16/2014
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucylastic

quote:

We were out with a group of friends who are not openly aware of our dynamic but likely have drawn some conclusions. We had dinner and went to a bar afterwards. We sat at a table in one room and I went to the restroom. On my way back I ran into two of the guys we were with watching the baseball game at the bar. Rather than go back to the table i started talking to them and ended up watching the game. I did not return to the table for over an hour and a half. However, I could see the table and she could see me. Everyone seemed to be having a good time.


Im only going with this ....if you had left me alone for an hour and a half, vanilla or submissive without single word... you would have gone home alone....
I dont do the screaming or arguing in public, I also do not cut off sex or removal of communication, but I would have apologised to the "friends" of both sexes and gone home.
It is completely ignorant in my opinion to not say a single word, no matter HOW friendly the group were.
but my expectation of simple manners is old fashioned. Thank god


Yes. There was an absence of manners, to be sure. The OP could have gone back to the table and at the very least have informed them where she'd be for a bit. A bit's meaning maybe 15 or 30 minutes, not 90 minutes. BTW, she'd get more respect from those two guys later if she simply said -- I'm with friends now, how about exchanging info and talking tomorrow. Old fashioned manners often produce better outcomes, too.

_____________________________

The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently.

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(in reply to Lucylastic)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Public Submission - 8/8/2014 9:54:30 AM   
thompsonx


Posts: 23322
Joined: 10/1/2006
Status: offline
ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

Since you keep insisting on furthering your fabricated agenda that OP was somehow dispatched by his Mistress on a bromancing mission, you give me no alternative but to call you out on your bullshit.

ORIGINAL: thompsonx [Post#38]

They were not at a seperate table but at the bar. [1st factual inaccuracy]


quote:

ORIGINAL: Admiresdommes

I was with two of the other men in our group at the bar and we were in full view of the table, There were only 4 couples and the person who did not watch the game is not interested in sports.




She did not indicate her disfavor until they were leaving. It would appear that he was punished for not being able to read her mind.



[More accurately, he did not bother to check in with his SO date until they were getting ready to leave. Whether he could read her mind is immaterial--he could read her mood, tone & demeanor.]



quote:

ORIGINAL: Admiresdommes [OPost#22]
I could tell she was upset so I asked, "Do you mind if I have one more?"


quote:

ORIGINAL: Admiresdommes

I was only a short distance from the table and I coul see her laughing and having a good time.


This would clearly indicate that he was cognizant of her mood,tone and demeanor.




Please show me where he was given permission (renewable or otherwise) or dispatched upon a bromancing mission. If you cannot without further twisting the actual unfolding of events, then I shall consider this your 2nd factual inaccuracy.
Show me where OP says he was assigned a clear-cut reconnaissance mission that he was tasked by his Domme to accomplish single-handedly without her involvement and/or participation.
If you cannot, then I shall include this as related to the subject matter of your 2nd factual inaccuracy above.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Admiresdommes

This group of people were her friends and I had never even met one of the couples before that evening. I realize that I tried too hard to fit in with them and in the process lost track of my priorities. However, I was only a short distance from the table and I coul see her laughing and having a good time. In addition, we had talked that this might be a fun group of people to go on vacation with so she hoped I would make an effort to get along well with the other guys.





Hm-mm, lemme see...when men without a steady sexual partner want instant-on-demand sex, who pays for whom? Yes, the value of obtaining sexual favors from a woman IS more heavily weighted than the prevalent no-cost availability of getting sex from a man.


That would be your opinion....



Would you be so kind as to confirm whether the ladies in the butthuts in Nevada pay for the pleasure of your company or whether you pay for theirs?
Female sex worker supply and male client demand is the usual de rigueur.

Being old and ugly has it's issues. Occaionally though even a blind pig finds a kernel of corn. I have been at a trade show in las vegas all week and have found myself doubly blessed. First, one of the for hire sex workers from the butt hut I visit,who is on vacation and lives in vegas, invited me to her private dungeon while I was there(for a fee).
Second, while on the convention floor I chanced to meet an unattached lady who was iso some vanilla fuckery. Will wonders never cease. I am pretty sure she had lost her glasses someplace...no I did not offer her my spare pair.





If only one of them is not sober, then two-way communications to re-evaluate their D/s dynamics should be put on hold until both parties can give fully informed consent, which OP indicated did take place shortly thereafter. (See his Post#33: "we had a nice discussion.")


quote:

ORIGINAL: Admiresdommes


The punishment, both physical and mental, has been brutal. However, if there is an example of effective punishment modifying behavior, this would be it. I have certainlt learned a lesson and will not be a repeat offender. I have felt that since this happened, every little infraction that I have is being called out. Last night I did sit down and ask what it would take to move on and we had a nice discussion.


This clearly happened days after the incident, not shortly, since the op states this is what happened when they left the bar.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Admiresdommes

When we got into the car that night the first thing she said was, "You are not to talk all the way home but you had better listen good." She told me how disappointed she was in me and how I embarrassed her. When we got home she put down her purse and ordered me straight to the couch. She then told me to pull down my shorts and panties and put me over her knee. She spanks very hard even with her bare hand. Then she told me to stand in the corner while she got ready for bed. However, in the meantime she returned a call from her daughter and I ended up in the corner for 40 minutes.


If your contention is that she was sober so she could talk and because he was under the influence he was to keep quiet, then why wasn't she driving? They both had been drinking and logic demands that the least impaired drive. They had both been drinking and she administered a punishment to him while they were both impaired. The op is quite clear that the discussion did not take place that evening.




You are reading non-consensuality into this incident where there is none. [3rd+factual inaccuracy per your personal projections?]


I have read nothing into the op. I have not claimed any non-consensuality. I have shown that I have posted no factual inaccuracies.



(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Public Submission - 8/8/2014 10:01:04 AM   
thompsonx


Posts: 23322
Joined: 10/1/2006
Status: offline
ORIGINAL: Lucylastic



Im only going with this ....if you had left me alone for an hour and a half, vanilla or submissive without single word... you would have gone home alone....
I dont do the screaming or arguing in public, I also do not cut off sex or removal of communication, but I would have apologised to the "friends" of both sexes and gone home.

Consider that three of the four s.o are watching the game. Thus we have three women who are lacking the constant admiration and attention of their s.o. They had all just come from dinner where it may be fairly assumed that three of the guys did not go watch a tv progam.


It is completely ignorant in my opinion to not say a single word, no matter HOW friendly the group were.
but my expectation of simple manners is old fashioned. Thank god


Plus you must admit that you do enjoy administering an otk with the least amount of provocation

(in reply to Lucylastic)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Public Submission - 8/8/2014 10:04:29 AM   
thompsonx


Posts: 23322
Joined: 10/1/2006
Status: offline
ORIGINAL: subrosaDom

Yes. There was an absence of manners, to be sure. The OP could have gone back to the table and at the very least have informed them where she'd be for a bit.

She is a he.


A bit's meaning maybe 15 or 30 minutes, not 90 minutes.

They were in the same room seperated by feet not walls.


BTW, she'd get more respect from those two guys later if she simply said -- I'm with friends now, how about exchanging info and talking tomorrow.

The two guys he was watching the game with were part of the foursome that were out together.





(in reply to subrosaDom)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Public Submission - 8/8/2014 11:50:01 AM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline 		OP says he has learned his lesson and has owned up to his lapse in judgment. Admirably, he did not resort to making petty excuses for himself here, not does he ask for defenders to justify his actions. He has already admitted in so many words that he knows he knows he crossed the line.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Admiresdommes [Post#33]

.... I realize that I tried too hard to fit in with them and in the process lost track of my priorities....

The punishment, both physical and mental, has been brutal. However, if there is an example of effective punishment modifying behavior, this would be it. I have certainlt learned a lesson and will not be a repeat offender. I have felt that since this happened, every little infraction that I have is being called out. Last night I did sit down and ask what it would take to move on and we had a nice discussion. While incidents like this can be frustrating, they also seem to reinforce my submission and why I am right where I belong. For some strange reason it also makes me feel more connected.

I am very happy that I joined this blog. It seems to be a great outlet for open and fair discussion. Thank you all for your comments.

Having expressed his remorse, I see no reason to beat a dead horse. It would be counter-productive for us to keep harping on who did what, who said what, who should have done things differently than what transpired. Further, my concern at this juncture is that OP may start feeling wrongly objectified (i.e. picked on) for no good reason as a result of our (friendly) bantering, thompson.

Nothing wrong with a generalized comment or opinion, but let's not go off on a wild goose chase of clandestine machinations that did not occur as imagined.

quote:

ORIGINAL: thompsonx [Post#46]
quote:

ORIGINAL: Admiresdommes [Post#33]

I was only a short distance from the table and I coul see her laughing and having a good time.

This would clearly indicate that he was cognizant of her mood,tone and demeanor.

This would clearly indicate that he was not being completely oblivious to picking up on an overtly expressed sign of his Domme's displeasure from across the bar while he and the other guys were engrossed in watching their sports game.
Absence of such an overt expression does not signify lack of annoyance or hiding one's frustration in front of one's lady friends (plus one gentleman among the 4 couples who was not into watching sports and stayed at the table keeping the other 3 ladies company), or of not wanting to lose face in public. You do know what losing face means, do you not? In some cultures, people will go to extraordinary lengths to not call attention to gaffes and faux pas in order to keep face socially in front of others, esp. friends & relatives.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucylastic [Post#44]

....if you had left me alone for an hour and a half, vanilla or submissive without single word... you would have gone home alone....
I dont do the screaming or arguing in public, I also do not cut off sex or removal of communication, but I would have apologised to the "friends" of both sexes and gone home.
It is completely ignorant in my opinion to not say a single word, no matter HOW friendly the group were.
...

Lucy, I personally wouldn't have waited that long before I got up and left. One of us would have been taking a cab home.
Traditionally (vanilla-wise) the guy would have been in the doghouse.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Admiresdommes [Post#33]

In addition, we had talked that this might be a fun group of people to go on vacation with so she hoped I would make an effort to get along well with the other guys.

Paraphrased informal conversation between couple prior to meeting her friends: 'Make an effort to get along well with the other guys,' and DON'T MAKE AN ASS OF YOURSELF. DON'T GET DRUNK AND SAY SOMETHING STUPID OR DO ANYTHING THAT WILL EMBARRASS ME.

quote:

ORIGINAL: thompsonx [Post#46]

.... I have been at a trade show in las vegas all week and have found myself doubly blessed. First, one of the for hire sex workers from the butt hut I visit,who is on vacation and lives in vegas, invited me to her private dungeon while I was there(for a fee).
Second, while on the convention floor I chanced to meet an unattached lady who was iso some vanilla fuckery. Will wonders never cease....

Um, perhaps a little TMI--but I asked for it, didn't I. While accompanying either lady there at the convention, did you excuse yourself to go to the restroom and then not return to rejoin your party for any inordinate length of time? Did you not make certain that you stayed in their good graces and are hopefully still in good-standing with them?
Lastly, was the vanilla lady sober and able to give her fully informed consent? (You don't have to answer that, yanno, but every convention has a few drunk, horny women - as well as a good number of drunk, horny men - prowling around as walking [stumbling] advertisements for practicing safe sex. )

quote:

ORIGINAL: thompsonx [Post#46]
quote:

ORIGINAL: Admiresdommes [Post#33]

I have felt that since this happened, every little infraction that I have is being called out. Last night I did sit down and ask what it would take to move on and we had a nice discussion.

This clearly happened days after the incident, not shortly, since the op states this is what happened when they left the bar.

Perhaps, since we are not privy to the exact timeframe of this particular discussion. However, neither can you assume they did not discuss this matter before OP's update, and he does not owe us a detailed explanation of every communiqué which has taken place between the couple. He was kind enough to provide us with a follow-up.
I am sure that OP appreciates your concern and has duly noted it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: thompsonx [Post#46]
quote:

ORIGINAL: Admiresdommes [Post#27]

When we got into the car that night the first thing she said was, "You are not to talk all the way home but you had better listen good." She told me how disappointed she was in me and how I embarrassed her. When we got home she put down her purse and ordered me straight to the couch. She then told me to pull down my shorts and panties and put me over her knee. She spanks very hard even with her bare hand. Then she told me to stand in the corner while she got ready for bed. However, in the meantime she returned a call from her daughter and I ended up in the corner for 40 minutes.

If your contention is that she was sober so she could talk and because he was under the influence he was to keep quiet, then why wasn't she driving? They both had been drinking and logic demands that the least impaired drive. They had both been drinking and she administered a punishment to him while they were both impaired. The op is quite clear that the discussion did not take place that evening.

No, this isn't my contention whatsoever. Given that this is a D/s relationship, how the Dominant chooses to handle matters with her submissive is her judgment call, not mine or yours or anybody else's (unless OP asks for our opinion on her handling of it, which he didn't). Whether she drives or doesn't drive is not relevant to this discussion, and her sobriety as such is not in question here.

quote:

ORIGINAL: thompsonx [Post#47]
[Per ORIGINAL: Lucylastic Re Post#44]

Plus you must admit that you do enjoy administering an otk with the least amount of provocation

And then there are those who enjoy getting an OTK spanking with the least amount of provocation. Or are deserving of one. But that's a subject for another thread....

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to thompsonx)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Public Submission - 8/8/2014 12:20:41 PM   
thompsonx


Posts: 23322
Joined: 10/1/2006
Status: offline 		ORIGINAL: FieryOpal


Having expressed his remorse, I see no reason to beat a dead horse. It would be counter-productive for us to keep harping on who did what, who said what, who should have done things differently than what transpired. Further, my concern at this juncture is that OP may start feeling wrongly objectified (i.e. picked on) for no good reason as a result of our (friendly) bantering, thompson.

Or we could play "good cop bad cop" and shred this poor individual


This would clearly indicate that he was not being completely oblivious to picking up on an overtly expressed sign of his Domme's displeasure from across the bar while he and the other guys were engrossed in watching their sports game.
Absence of such an overt expression does not signify lack of annoyance or hiding one's frustration in front of one's lady friends (plus one gentleman among the 4 couples who was not into watching sports and stayed at the table keeping the other 3 ladies company),


Or perhaps he had more randy motives for hanging with three babes instead of three hairy legged guys?


or of not wanting to lose face in public. You do know what losing face means, do you not? In some cultures, people will go to extraordinary lengths to not call attention to gaffes and faux pas in order to keep face socially in front of others, esp. friends & relatives.

I personally am a fan of the "grudge fuck"...she will do with you what she would stab him for suggesting.
Bachelor #4 could easily find himself in the midst of a grudge gangphoque if he were the manipulative type of horndawg into creative kinquie phoquery




.... I have been at a trade show in las vegas all week and have found myself doubly blessed. First, one of the for hire sex workers from the butt hut I visit,who is on vacation and lives in vegas, invited me to her private dungeon while I was there(for a fee).
Second, while on the convention floor I chanced to meet an unattached lady who was iso some vanilla fuckery. Will wonders never cease....
[/quote]

Um, perhaps a little TMI--but I asked for it, didn't I. While accompanying either lady there at the convention, did you excuse yourself to go to the restroom and then not return to rejoin your party for any inordinate length of time? Did you not make certain that you stayed in their good graces and are hopefully still in good-standing with them?

The "for profit" provider had shall we say a "captive audience"



Lastly, was the vanilla lady sober and able to give her fully informed consent?

I am pretty sure I mentioned her vision issues.
That they may have been accentuated by copious quantities of alcohol can hardly be in doubt. I had to borrow a hand truck to get her back to her room.
As far as fully informed consent I have no recolection of asking her if I was the one who was suppose to be on the bottom.


getting an OTK spanking with the least amount of provocation.And then there are those who are deserving of one.





< Message edited by thompsonx -- 8/8/2014 12:25:53 PM >

(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Public Submission - 8/8/2014 3:38:38 PM   
Inghammar


Posts: 145
Joined: 11/25/2012
Status: offline 		Practicing a power dynamic in public often reflects poorly on the dominant. For instance, sitting on a crowded bus while my submissive stands would make me look like a lout. Ordering dinner for my submissive will likely get my food served with something 'value added'.
Don't inflict your power dynamic on the general public.

(in reply to thompsonx)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Public Submission - 8/8/2014 8:55:29 PM   
thompsonx


Posts: 23322
Joined: 10/1/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Inghammar

Practicing a power dynamic in public often reflects poorly on the dominant. For instance, sitting on a crowded bus while my submissive stands would make me look like a lout. Ordering dinner for my submissive will likely get my food served with something 'value added'.
Don't inflict your power dynamic on the general public.


I have no clue what you are on about?

(in reply to Inghammar)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Public Submission - 8/9/2014 3:10:08 AM   
RaspberryLemon


Posts: 422
Joined: 7/18/2011
Status: offline 		The power structure in our relationship persists in all areas of our life--public and private. I wear my collar out and about (and it is a very "obvious" collar,) and follow his lead and command at all times. I am quite proud that I belong to him, and I am not ashamed for it to be known.

That said, we don't "advertise" our dynamic. We just don't censor it. I am very big on freedom of expression, and I wouldn't feel right censoring part of who I am. I am just me, all of me, wherever I go.

On the subject of referring to him by specific titles: I'm not really ever required to call him "Master" or "sir"--there are no rules for what I have to call him and when. I call him by his name, nicknames, titles, etc., depending on the context/mood of the situation. And considering it's a bit more of an intimate title, I generally only call him "Master" in private because that's where it feels right.

Overall: People knowing about our D/s dynamic doesn't matter to my owner and me. But I understand that for their own reasons--be they professional concerns, or just privacy issues and preferences--some people don't wish their dynamics to be known. Whether you're "out" about it or not (and how much,) it is pretty important to be on the same page about this as your partner. So I would urge OP to discuss this issue seriously with his partner, express his concerns and discomfort, and try to find a compromise that they are both happy and comfortable with.

(in reply to Admiresdommes)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Public Submission - 8/9/2014 8:46:55 AM   
Admiresdommes


Posts: 10
Joined: 6/2/2014
Status: offline 		While I appreciate all of the comments I have grown very tired of reading that I was "under the influence" or listening to him "slurring words." It is possible to drink a few beers and neither be drunk or slurring words. That is a topic for another day and another blog. Neither one of us were drunk and at risk of a DWI. If we were we would have both been smart enough to take a cab. While I certainly enjoy the dialogue that I requested by initiated the conversation, I don't appreciate presumed allegations of irresponsible and illegal behavior by either one of us. That is unfair and misleading.

(in reply to RaspberryLemon)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Public Submission - 8/9/2014 11:43:55 AM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline 		~ FR ~
FYI, ALL MEN WHO CLAIM THEY CANNOT READ THEIR DATE-MATES' MINDS:

(Or who are otherwise clueless about how to treat a woman as special and make her feel cherished & valued, and/or who are missing a sensitivity chip somewhere....)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss
Sunny Quote of the Day
goes to
ChatteParfaitt
for

Men who want a relationship
act like they want a relationship.


How is that?
They call you often,
they see you often,
they court you,
they make it clear
you are a priority in their life,
they can't seem to get enough of you.
Not just sex,
talking, being, learning about the other.
You know, in love.


http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=4629081

(Per Post#42 1/31/14)
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=4631247 (2/2/14)

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to Admiresdommes)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Public Submission - 8/14/2014 10:38:31 AM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline 		Because I'm feeling a bit good-humoredly ornery today, I pulled some of the following...which follows my twist of F.O.'s words...off a website called rantlife.

FYI, ALL WOMEN WHO CLAIM THEY CANNOT READ THEIR DATE-MATES' MINDS:

(Or who are otherwise clueless about how to treat a man as special and make him feel cherished & valued, and/or who are missing a sensitivity chip somewhere....)

Women Who Want a Relationship ACT Like They Want A Relationship

How is that?

They know when to talk and when NOT to

They understand that sex has to be on OUR time once in awhile

They quit the mind games

They quit asking us if they're fat...look fat...move fat (seriously ladies...you do know this is a no-win question for us, right?)

They surprise us with a gift once in awhile

They realize that their period is NOT our fault

They pick up the check once in awhile

You know, act as if they're not the only one who's important in the relationship. And that is done by not necessarily doing for him in the exact same way you want him to do for you but by recognizing the differences AND the similarities and embracing them. Just as you want him to do...

< Message edited by CreativeDominant -- 8/14/2014 11:15:56 AM >

(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Public Submission - 8/14/2014 12:59:10 PM   
InHisHeart


Posts: 630
Joined: 3/22/2014
Status: offline 		I couldn't agree with you more!

My replies are in red.

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

Women Who Want a Relationship ACT Like They Want A Relationship

How is that?

They know when to talk and when NOT to -- Unless the house is on fire.....I never talk when he's working on his music, doing work for his business, watching football, with his friends, has a migraine or just needs quiet time.

They understand that sex has to be on OUR time once in awhile -- Hmmm.....sex is always on his time, when, where and how. "No" is not in my vocabulary. He doesn't turn me down either.

They quit the mind games -- I don't play mind games and never did. Neither of us will tolerate mind games.

They quit asking us if they're fat...look fat...move fat (seriously ladies...you do know this is a no-win question for us, right?) I don't ask if I'm fat, I know I'm not but I've asked if an outfit looks ok on me, asked if he likes a new hair style, if he liked the dinner I cooked, etc. When I ask him something like that, he knows I want his honest opinion, not a BS line and he knows I won't get pissed off or hurt if he doesn't like (fill in the blank). If I didn't want a honest answer, I wouldn't ask.

They surprise us with a gift once in awhile -- Many times

They realize that their period is NOT our fault -- I haven't had to deal with that in 10 years but I wasn't one who got PMS or moody.

They pick up the check once in awhile -- We use our joint account for dinner, movies, entertainment, vacation, etc. that we both contribute to equally, so that doesn't really apply to us. If it's his b'day or special occasion, I pay out of my account and he does the same when it's my b'day or special occasion.

You know, act as if they're not the only one who's important in the relationship. And that is done by not necessarily doing for him in the exact same way you want him to do for you but by recognizing the differences AND the similarities and embracing them. Just as you want him to do... -- Again, I couldn't agree with you more. It's a two way street or nothing at all.


_____________________________

I don't have a bucket list but my fucket list is a mile long.

I would rather have a mind opened by wonder than one closed by belief.


(in reply to CreativeDominant)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Public Submission - 8/15/2014 2:24:57 AM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline 		Here, fixed the verbiage of your heading for ya, according to commonsense4menwithoutbutthurt.org:

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

FYI, ALL WOMEN WHO CLAIM THEY CANNOT READ THEIR [GONADLESS] DATE-MATES' [PEA-BRAINED] MINDS:

(Or who are otherwise clueless about how to treat a man[child] as [a spweshyal widdle snowflake] and make him feel cherished [like our best gurly-gurlfriend] & valued [at some unspecified future point in time when their man learns the difference between love-making and just having mechanical sex], and/or who are missing [out on being with a *real* man who knows how to act like a gentleman] somewhere [in the wild blue yonder]....)
<snip>


_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to CreativeDominant)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Public Submission - 8/15/2014 8:43:06 AM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

Here, fixed the verbiage of your heading for ya, according to commonsense4menwithoutbutthurt.org:

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

FYI, ALL WOMEN WHO CLAIM THEY CANNOT READ THEIR [GONADLESS] DATE-MATES' [PEA-BRAINED] MINDS:

(Or who are otherwise clueless about how to treat a man[child] as [a spweshyal widdle snowflake] and make him feel cherished [like our best gurly-gurlfriend] & valued [at some unspecified future point in time when their man learns the difference between love-making and just having mechanical sex], and/or who are missing [out on being with a *real* man who knows how to act like a gentleman] somewhere [in the wild blue yonder]....)
<snip>

R.O.L.M.C.D.A.O.

< Message edited by CreativeDominant -- 8/15/2014 9:28:45 AM >

(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Public Submission - 8/15/2014 11:39:44 AM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

R.O.L.M.C.D.A.O.

For being a good sport:




Attachment (1)

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to CreativeDominant)
Profile   Post #: 60
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