RE: Public Submission

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thompsonx -> RE: Public Submission (8/15/2014 1:42:57 PM)
ORIGINAL: FieryOpal [image]local://upfiles/1774587/C7758A1C361743379FD24039D920ACFE.jpg[/image] Hmmmm....everything on the card but the beard I had done by the time I was 12[:)]

DesFIP -> RE: Public Submission (8/15/2014 2:14:19 PM)
I hadn't read the follow up post. I have to award the op points for most misleading thread title in a while. Do I think it appropriate for him to call her Ma'am in front of vanilla friends? No. Because it is embarrassing for him to have people, whom she claimed she wants him to be friends with, look at him oddly. It would be equally wrong to come to his office party and expect it there. Or in front of his elderly parents. Does that in any way excuse him for embarrassing the hell out of her by getting up from the table and not returning for over an hour and a half, no doubt making her friends look at her with pity that the new bf is this uninvested in the relationship. I'm the s in this relationship and I can assure you that The Man would never treat me in this manner. 15/20 minutes, sure. But good manners indicates that you 'dance with the one that brung you'. As far as withholding sex as punishment? If ordered, I'd engage in it. But I sure as hell wouldn't enjoy it in any way after being treated like this. And it wouldn't be punishment that would keep me uninterested in sex. It would be his uncaring behavior. Btw op, 3 drinks is all it takes to be over the limit. Even less if you're on any of a wide host of medications. Like for diabetes type II, for hypertension and so on. You know, all those things that the above 50 crowd frequently have prescribed. Being hypertensive, I can tell you from experience that half a drink is my limit for being unimpaired. So I think you're lying to yourself about what shape you were in. Honestly, I begin to think that they're well matched as they both get off on embarrassing each other in public.

FieryOpal -> RE: Public Submission (8/15/2014 2:36:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: thompsonx Hmmmm....everything on the card but the beard I had done by the time I was 12[:)] You had entered a lumberjack contest? Built a log...treehouse? Hiked the Appalachian Trail? (Before GS was in utero? [:D] ) Being 1/10th as manly as Steve McQueen by the age of 12? How about Chuck Norris? [:-] Pics, or it didn't happen. [8D]

thompsonx -> RE: Public Submission (8/15/2014 7:02:19 PM)
ORIGINAL: FieryOpal quote: ORIGINAL: thompsonx Hmmmm....everything on the card but the beard I had done by the time I was 12[:)] You had entered a lumberjack contest? I had a stihl #460 with a turbo and I had ground all of the rakers off the chain. I was big for my age[;)] Built a log...treehouse? lincoln logs[8\|] Hiked the Appalachian Trail? (Before GS was in utero? [:D] ) Actually it was the pacific crest trail. It is a few hundred miles longer and some places are over 13,000' in elevation. Back then many parts were not even marked. When I was 14 colin fletcher asked for help with his attempt.[;)] Being 1/10th as manly as Steve McQueen by the age of 12? How about Chuck Norris? [:-] I do not find chuck norris to be manly. Loud mouth,pushy,arrogant without cause...kinda like andrew dice clay without the humor. Steve mcqueen on the other hand had a predilication for a particular type of cactus which ali was always able to acquire for him. Pics, or it didn't happen. [8D] I am pretty sure I got pics of my lincoln log cabin. I won third place in the 2nd grade hobby fair.

FieryOpal -> RE: Public Submission (8/15/2014 11:45:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: thompsonx I am pretty sure I got pics of my lincoln log cabin. I won third place in the 2nd grade hobby fair. Does that count? [sm=poke.gif] Meh, I'll give you half a punch for that...a hanging shad. Yeah, I won 3rd place in my 4th grade spelling bee; my prize was a brass monkey. Go figure. [sm=champ.gif]

FieryOpal -> RE: Public Submission (8/15/2014 11:47:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP <snip> I'm the s in this relationship and I can assure you that The Man would never treat me in this manner. 15/20 minutes, sure. But good manners indicates that you 'dance with the one that brung you'. As far as withholding sex as punishment? If ordered, I'd engage in it. But I sure as hell wouldn't enjoy it in any way after being treated like this. And it wouldn't be punishment that would keep me uninterested in sex. It would be his uncaring behavior. Btw op, 3 drinks is all it takes to be over the limit.... Being hypertensive, I can tell you from experience that half a drink is my limit for being unimpaired. So I think you're lying to yourself about what shape you were in. Honestly, I begin to think that they're well matched as they both get off on embarrassing each other in public. Much earlier, I had been biting my tongue to refrain from speaking for femsubs on how their Masters wouldn't treat them shabbily in public in this manner or leave them to fend for themselves, which would be bad enough in front of strangers, but among a group of friends no less. But I didn't want to be presumptuous about M/f couples, so thank you for speaking up, DesFIP. [sm=cool.gif] Sensible observation additionally, how this couple seems to deserve one another.

Admiresdommes -> RE: Public Submission (8/18/2014 6:25:14 PM)
The following was from Desfip. Btw op, 3 drinks is all it takes to be over the limit. Even less if you're on any of a wide host of medications. Like for diabetes type II, for hypertension and so on. You know, all those things that the above 50 crowd frequently have prescribed. I am 6'4, weigh 210 lbs...workout hour and a half everyday...played college basketball...and drank 5 beers over the course of 6 hours while eating dinner. For the last time I wasn't drunk. Now I am realizing how many idiots belong to this blog. Only stupid people make those kinds of assumptions. Don't preach.

GoddessManko -> RE: Public Submission (8/19/2014 9:30:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Admiresdommes My goal is to incorporate the lifestyle into our public life without advertising it. If others who practice D/s see through it so be it. This gives us the sense that it is truly a way of life without offending anyone or compromising my career. I hope that makes sense. No offense OP, you seem like a nice guy and I'm sure your relationship works for you and the Mrs but I have to tell you, the bolded part of your point irks me to no end. In fact, I find nothing more angering than a sub that doesn't respect the discretion of the relationship and tries in subtle ways to get a humiliation thrill out of other people vs myself. I'm speaking solely for myself by the way but as an example. A sub I liked, had him wear panties, and eventually, panties, buttplug and balls tied to work daily. It was cool for a warm up towards us becoming full fledged D/s. Tell me why he PURPOSELY (I don't CARE what he says) bent down in such a way to show his panties to a "regular" patron (FEMALE MIND YOU) at the store while doing a grocery run. OMG, was I PISSED. It's almost like emotional cheating and it's extremely selfish. At least he ran back to tell me about his encounter but it was more about his cheap thrills than his submission to me. For me, that's just a no no. I just can't have my sub making decisions like that without us even having a discussion or for him to USE me just to get his dick hard. Anywho, yea. This particular topic hit home with me a bit and your insinuation leads me to think this is something YOU want vs her preference. And in a Male D/ female s dynamic, stuff like this just wouldn't fly, I can bet you THAT.

CreativeDominant -> RE: Public Submission (8/19/2014 10:40:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GoddessManko quote: ORIGINAL: Admiresdommes My goal is to incorporate the lifestyle into our public life without advertising it. If others who practice D/s see through it so be it. This gives us the sense that it is truly a way of life without offending anyone or compromising my career. I hope that makes sense. No offense OP, you seem like a nice guy and I'm sure your relationship works for you and the Mrs but I have to tell you, the bolded part of your point irks me to no end. In fact, I find nothing more angering than a sub that doesn't respect the discretion of the relationship and tries in subtle ways to get a humiliation thrill out of other people vs myself. I'm speaking solely for myself by the way but as an example. A sub I liked, had him wear panties, and eventually, panties, buttplug and balls tied to work daily. It was cool for a warm up towards us becoming full fledged D/s. Tell me why he PURPOSELY (I don't CARE what he says) bent down in such a way to show his panties to a "regular" patron (FEMALE MIND YOU) at the store while doing a grocery run. OMG, was I PISSED. It's almost like emotional cheating and it's extremely selfish. At least he ran back to tell me about his encounter but it was more about his cheap thrills than his submission to me. For me, that's just a no no. I just can't have my sub making decisions like that without us even having a discussion or for him to USE me just to get his dick hard. Anywho, yea. This particular topic hit home with me a bit and your insinuation leads me to think this is something YOU want vs her preference. And in a Male D/ female s dynamic, stuff like this just wouldn't fly, I can bet you THAT. Hmmm...interesting perspective. Is it your contention then that...despite his claims to the contrary...the OP is deliberately doing things that exposes the D/s relationship to others who are non-D/s?

littleladybug -> RE: Public Submission (8/19/2014 10:45:18 AM)
If this happened in my relationship, it would be the last time it happened, that I can guarantee. IMO, this clearly shows a simple lack of courtesy. To not even check in with your date to see how she's doing, if she wants to join, or leave, or whatever? How hard is it to come over to her and have a simple conversation? It's not....if the idea goes through your mind. We all like doing what we want to do. But, a general respect for others (especially those who we are supposed to be in a relationship with) should be an essential part of the plan. I specifically have left out any reference to D or s-types in the previous paragraph, because I believe that this generally transcends any specific relationship labels. I have been in this situation, as the person who was "left out". I was seething at the time. I'm sure he could tell from my body language that "something was wrong", but honestly, at that point, I do not blame him for not opening up that can of worms in public. It was something that should have been discussed in private, and it was, when we got home. It took a bit of time, but we actually were able to discuss it as relatively rational adults. He set out what he was thinking-- apparently, I was "free to come and join". I let him know that I was not interested, and he knew that. After quite a bit of discussion, we came to a compromise that worked for the both of us. And, in the several years that followed, we never got into that icky situation again. To paraphrase a line from one of my favorite movies--- "what we have here is a failure to communicate". We may be able to read our partner's mind to the extent that we know generally when they're happy, sad, pissed, etc. I may think I know what my partner wants, and will run with it. I may also have misunderstood, or over-stepped a boundary. If I look at him, and see from his body language he is angry....I won't know why until he tells me. Sure, I could guess, but that's not fair to either one of us. And, to enter into passive-aggressive behavior? That's simply juvenile. At one point, I was angry at him...I forget now what the issue was...but my response at the time was to get into bed, as close to the edge of "my side" as I could get. His response? To jump on the bed hard enough to throw me off the side. "Well, if you're not going to talk to me, you can sleep on the floor". Sure enough, we spent several hours talking that evening. IMO, both sides here are "at fault"...however, the solution is relatively simple....open up the lines of communication. "I thought you wanted me to befriend these people so we can...." "But, when you left me to be with them, I felt...." "I would have wanted you to......" "In the future, if a situation comes up like this, let's ...." But, of course, that does require some "give and take" from each side. If some want to live their lives with resentment, for whatever reason, that's their prerogative. I just offer a solution that seems to work in a lot of cases.

GoddessManko -> RE: Public Submission (8/19/2014 6:44:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant Hmmm...interesting perspective. Is it your contention then that...despite his claims to the contrary...the OP is deliberately doing things that exposes the D/s relationship to others who are non-D/s? You pretty much nailed it CreativeDom. I honestly would hope he discussed it with his D before presenting it in such a context and like I said, I'm not here to question how anyone else does things within their relationship. But even with the sub I gave as an example, he PRESUMED I would CATER to his cheap thrills by maybe feeding into it in some way, if that makes sense. To be frank, he thought my reaction for whatever reason would be very opposite from what it was. And it's very disrespectful because as stated, it still gives him the D role in the relationship rather than the s and I would just be catering to HIS whims. As littleladybug said, in any dynamic, keeping your partner out of whatever you decide might help you get your rocks off without any communication beforehand just seems very self centered and almost intentionally topping from the bottom (I label some of these types as masochistic control freaks, it's almost like a game to them, where they think they are outsmarting the person who is supposed to be the top or D.) And though as littleladybug said, this transcends roles or genders within a relationship, I just can't imagine someone being fine with a sub putting their relationship on display to further what might be his personal goals COMPLETELY SEPARATE FROM HER. I mean that's just unthinkable for me personally. It's like just suddenly abandoning your sub while he's off hogtied somewhere and wondering where his next meal is going to be. There is a certain level of responsibility on both sides as far as a relationship goes or I would suggest play partners vs full on commitment. If you can't think of the other person, especially as an s, then I don't know what to really tell you. If she is this passive then so be it, but then if there is a lack of discretion on his par,t then that's something terribly, terribly over the top. I'm sorry to make it gender specific but for every male D and female s dynamic I can think of, I cannot imagine this being in the REALM of acceptable.

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