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How Long to be Accepted - 8/12/2014 1:30:26 PM

Bondalee1

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Generally how long will it take a new Master to decide to accept a new submissive for training etc? I know each person is different but I am asking for a ball park figure. Also how long should a sub wait for his decision?

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RE: How Long to be Accepted - 8/12/2014 1:34:56 PM

mnottertail

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I am thinking that it is like going steady or moving in together or whatever in the hum-drum world. Many variables, but what works for the pair.

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RE: How Long to be Accepted - 8/12/2014 2:10:05 PM

DarkSteven

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I collared Tasha about four months after meeting her, but six months to a year would have been more prudent.

That was for collaring. For training? What does the training consist of, that would not be in a relationship?

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RE: How Long to be Accepted - 8/12/2014 3:17:22 PM

CloakedProtector

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OP, there is no rule.

If a Master poses as a Master he may accept a sub after a few hours of chat because he knows what he is after, usually just sex where he has extended control.

If he is looking and testing and comparing in order to find a sub for collaring in a 24/7 model it will take considerably more time because he'll want the right match.

If he looks for subs for specific play and/or play windows then it could be somewhere in the middle and depend on what skills the sub advertises in the given field.

And in all above cases, if misrepresentation is detected the verdict is usually an immediate : NO.

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RE: How Long to be Accepted - 8/12/2014 3:57:59 PM

InHisHeart

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It was a month after we met in-person. We talked on the phone every day for 7 months before meeting, the length of time until meeting was due to us living 520 miles apart at the time. When we were both able to schedule the same week away, we met at his folk's beach house in NJ (his folks were not there) and we spent the week together. We both agreed beforehand to see how we felt after spending a week together to see if we still wanted to pursue a relationship. We both wanted to continue on with each other so a month later I traveled to his house in NC and stayed for 2 months before I had to get back to PA.

If he was not sure about me or me about him after spending 24 hours a day together for 2 months, I would have moved on. If we were local to each other, everything might have been different.

How long a sub should wait is however long is acceptable to that sub.

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RE: How Long to be Accepted - 8/12/2014 7:06:08 PM

GotSteel

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Bondalee1
Generally how long will it take a new Master to decide to accept a new submissive for training etc? I know each person is different but I am asking for a ball park figure. Also how long should a sub wait for his decision?

This aspect isn't any different than vanilla relationships. It's like saying how long should it take for people who met online to start dating.

(in reply to Bondalee1)

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RE: How Long to be Accepted - 8/13/2014 12:44:28 AM

orgasmdenial12

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It's like any relationship, sometimes you fall for each other straight away, other times you discover you want to be their sub / Dom after you've known them for a while.

Ultimately, if a Dom is making you feel it's too fast or too slow then it is - for you. Some Doms like to string a sub along with promises of training, mentoring, collar of consideration, getting to know each other, etc etc, and it all turns out to be a big waste of time. There is a real distaste for committment in some sections of the community and Doms will think they can string a sub along as much as they want in the name of D/s.

The worst thing you can do is say nothing and hope. Better to say it all up front and see how they react. If you don't get the answer you want, maybe look elsewhere.

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RE: How Long to be Accepted - 8/13/2014 1:27:02 AM

AthenaSurrenders

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How long does it take, ballpark, for a couple to get engaged?

Even if there was a typical time frame, everyone means something different by 'accept a submissive for training'. For some that might just mean meeting for some casual play, and for others that might mean a serious commitment.

How long should you wait? Depends how much self-worth you have. Remember that while he is considering you, you are considering him. I personally would have no patience with someone who expected me to jump through hoops to prove I was worthy of their time. I'd prefer we got to know each other like any other couple. He might have the power once the relationship is going, but ticking the 'dom' box doesn't mean he gets to sit back and audition people. And in fact, it seems like female subs get a lot more interest than male doms so if he had to spend a lot of time considering whether I was worth trying out, I'd probably be moving on.

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RE: How Long to be Accepted - 8/13/2014 7:56:49 AM

praefectusnavis

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I think the balance of consideration lies between not taking so long that she buggers off through boredom but having enough time to really know each other...in my case it was 6 months.

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RE: How Long to be Accepted - 8/13/2014 8:03:11 AM

thishereboi

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It depends on what you mean by training. Are you talking about being in a relationship with someone and being trained in what he likes in anticipation of a long term commitment or are you talking about training you to give a really good blow job on demand? If it's the first, it's like any relationship and will take some time to get to know him and decide if he is the one you want to spend time with. If it's the latter, you can be down on your knees the first night if you remember a condom.

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RE: How Long to be Accepted - 8/13/2014 11:44:49 AM

DesFIP

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He collared me a month after meeting. That was eleven years ago. I don't recommend it unless like us, you've both done a hell of a lot of self work to become extremely self aware and therefore able to know exactly what you do and don't need and are able to identify it.

Now, with that said, if some dude is saying you need to earn a commitment, move on. Because you never will. He's just looking for a booty call while keeping you from looking for someone who want a relationship with you.

< Message edited by DesFIP -- 8/13/2014 11:47:00 AM >

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RE: How Long to be Accepted - 8/13/2014 1:00:48 PM

HeartAndSoul31

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I would be more concerned over if you are REALLY wanting or accepting of what the Dom is or isn't offering you. Make sure he is a good fit to your needs. Trust me it's good advice. Once you dip your toe in the pool you could find yourself under water. If this is your first experience please be cautious about being collared or agreeing to things you really don't mean to please.
Take your time it's really important you know what you really want.

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RE: How Long to be Accepted - 8/14/2014 1:15:45 PM

DesFIP

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Turn it around op, how long do you need to know someone before you're willing to be exclusive with them. First date? Three months? Or doesn't it depend on how the two of you both feel about each other.

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RE: How Long to be Accepted - 8/14/2014 1:55:51 PM

Arturas

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Bondalee1

Generally how long will it take a new Master to decide to accept a new submissive for training etc? I know each person is different but I am asking for a ball park figure. Also how long should a sub wait for his decision?

23.5 days if you like the same ice cream they do. Glad to help.

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RE: How Long to be Accepted - 9/3/2014 10:30:43 AM

CountDrackula

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Training! I do not understand do you wish to join the traveling circus.

Training is often used as a stereotypical concept to draw another in....add credibility..it has no real truth or origin..i am no fan of such terminology tis no secret.

What is it you seek lets begin with that...at the very beginning, then the question can be answered by the likes of my mind, oh alright
1, do you wish to be cherished and loved
2. do you seek solely abuse/fun your very essence torn from your mind and soul - call it what you will.
3. do you seek that of the body or mind the proper answer is both and all of the above)

i do not train errant random strangers - women are to be loved and cherished and ravished.. there is no rule book (another errant myth poplar on these sites) dave :( and i usually like what you type....but you did say time :)

if he does not know now then it is most likely married or mythical concept - there are soo many about, not all.

what are you talking about exactly & after how long my dear creature
you should be talking, after 1 day about everything and nothing...if any party is evasive, or vanishing acts, they must be discarded (worry not they will find another just like them)

if i cross paths with one of these creatures i cite my upbringing my bad marriage the pleasures of my mind and soul and what I like from cake to cats to quantum nonsense
this goes both ways if it does not avoid trust me I am usually correct - they will consume some of your time an life for no credible reason...in short they can get all of me from the beginning but they must offer all of them in return...seems a fair trade that

do yo wish to be trained on what you like or what I like...oh and avoid anyone telling you everything you need and want to hear
i had a one day convo with someone this week she said, or was it an it, one can never be to sure with some these days..it did not like to be choked with cock (look i know but you needed the context for i am no bad stereotype)..i was most unimpressed with this urchins ramblings on these matters,a nd others and its need to draw information from me, whilst only offering little of itself

what would you like to be trained in? Do you wish to be trained in muffin baking and to fall to your knees at eg my command..do you know
who are you
what do you want
they seem two simple questions I like people who can answer them

oh B5 buffs I know...there most always be light and dark

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RE: How Long to be Accepted - 9/3/2014 7:05:57 PM

AnnaOphelia

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bondalee1
Generally how long will it take a new Master to decide to accept a new submissive for training etc? I know each person is different but I am asking for a ball park figure. Also how long should a sub wait for his decision?

This aspect isn't any different than vanilla relationships. It's like saying how long should it take for people who met online to start dating.

This.

(in reply to GotSteel)

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RE: How Long to be Accepted - 9/3/2014 7:48:54 PM

Bondalee1

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Thanks for all your responses. It's good to now that , much like any vanilla relationship, the time frame depends on learning what we both want and need in the relationship.
Simple and it helped me also to be reminded that just as he is choosing, so am I.

(in reply to AnnaOphelia)

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RE: How Long to be Accepted - 9/6/2014 5:03:32 AM

RedMajestic

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There in it's self is a most excellent question to be asked by any one.
Regardless if you have been the way you are your entire life or if you picked up a book one day and woke up and decided to find what completes you in an other wise bland and conformed reality we all are subjected to each and every day.

Do you feel this is the right path for you?
Do you feel should you ever find what it is you seek, will this person harm or heal me when I need that the most.

These are the first two questions I would start asking and often do.
As a life long bdsm wired minded sort, more often then not we are faced with such questions in the kink and as well as the vanilla world we live in and it is what we place and invest our personal emotions and time and effort into.
Only you will be the one that can answer those questions.

As for the basis of the reply and for the sake of not side tracking the main point of this post and reply to it.
I do give a standard one full year.
As well as a slave contract in which must be read consented to and discussed and signed by the potential slave and myself.
So in the event anything should change for ether side such as what I deem right for myself or the other side of the dynamic that is the bdsm spectrum.

That contract can be reviewed or if one r both sides decide this is not right for them ether because feeling can and will change.
We part ways and she is to leave my side and go and search for some one else that is more suitable for her needs and my own as well.

Oh for an extra tip I would suggest skype on video with voice first to break the ice of nervousness.
I have noticed with most people regardless of orientation and or preference.
All in some form or another have a bit of that to some degree, it is if we admit it or not to our selves or to others that is entirely up to the person.

Then again this is my opinion and not fact.
As each and every one of us have this right and at times responsibility to do so.

Out side of that this is all I have to say about the topic and my reply there in.

R.M

To what wonder is this being and where is it from?

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RE: How Long to be Accepted - 9/7/2014 6:31:45 PM

MasterVenom13

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I've often felt that the Master must prove himself first before he can be served.

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RE: How Long to be Accepted - 9/7/2014 6:36:46 PM

subrosaDom

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bondalee1

Generally how long will it take a new Master to decide to accept a new submissive for training etc? I know each person is different but I am asking for a ball park figure. Also how long should a sub wait for his decision?

23.5 days if you like the same ice cream they do. Glad to help.

Shouldn't you have taken into account the lunar cycle and the effect of tides? My calculations show 23.61984 days. Very close.

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