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RE: How should first contact be made ? - 7/25/2006 7:33:53 AM   
Sab


Posts: 325
Joined: 5/2/2006
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

How should first contact be made ?



Well - the Prime Directive HAS to be adhered to! :O ;)


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God blessed it and it brought me to her.

(in reply to wildnhard)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: How should first contact be made ? - 7/25/2006 7:40:42 AM   
nstyslave


Posts: 34
Joined: 4/20/2006
Status: offline 		In addition, to all that has been said. i for one detest "form" letters.

~nsty

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Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.

(in reply to wildnhard)
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RE: How should first contact be made ? - 7/25/2006 7:55:08 AM   
carolsea


Posts: 185
Joined: 10/4/2004
From: North Carolina
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: yumyi

I prefer to be approached in person.

The best way someone can get to know me... if they only see my profile online... is to ask about local events. (But do your research a bit first.... I hate getting "so what do I wear to a munch?" emails...)
<snip>


Thank you, Yumyi - I second all of what you said! 

I don't mind a preliminary message on the "other side" here, but don't expect me to add you to my IM list immediately.  I prefer my encounters to be in person, but not one-on-one at first.  And if that doesn't suit the other person, then they are not for me.  I enjoy those events very much and have for 8 years now, so I don't expect I'll stop them anytime soon, as long as time permits.

Don't ask me to tell you all about myself, my life, my thoughts and desires, and then not respond again.  I don't have the spare time to invest so much of it to write a long, detailed e-mail to someone I don't know.  Get to know me in person.

And yeah, do be sure everything is spelled correctly!  Most of the subs I've read here in the forums are pretty much interested in that kind of thing!

Good luck you, Wildnhard!

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I know you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant!

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Profile   Post #: 23
RE: How should first contact be made ? - 7/25/2006 7:59:20 AM   
carolsea


Posts: 185
Joined: 10/4/2004
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		I also detest being called "little one", "pet", "sub", "slut", or any similar term until the person knows me well enough to call me any of those.  And as someone else said, I'm much harder on someone who approaches me online than in person, by all means.

_____________________________

I know you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant!

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Profile   Post #: 24
RE: How should first contact be made ? - 7/25/2006 8:06:25 AM   
BenignPlague


Posts: 52
Joined: 5/10/2005
Status: offline 		Hello all, and thanks for reading.

I've been on this site for something like 9 months? a year? Not sure, but that's irrelevant.  To anyone that's received a message from me, I've always been polite and courteous, never presumptuous (unless I smelled a profile begging for a free ride), and yet, I still only get perhaps one in five replies.

Perhaps it was how I was raised, or that I'm in a small town where everyone knows everyone, but from what I learned, whenever someone took the time to write something, they deserved a response.  Invitations get RSVP's, christmas cards get thank you notes and so on.  I can see how this can be tiresome given the inundation of ignorant emails it seems people get here (I've only heard, my mailbox has never been flooded with solicitations for my body, guess I need to work out more....) but even a simple "not interested" will suffice.

Someone earlier in this posting mentioned their aversion to the long-winded email, but so many times, people state explicitly that they don't want "Hi how are you?" messages.  I suppose, in a sense, when I take a half hour to write what I see as a nice email, as if I were mailing an old fashioned letter, and don't get a response, like I've been slighted.

What would you (submissives and slaves particularly) consider to be the optimal size of a first email?

Some may even think this posting was too long for a forum....

Aa

(in reply to wildnhard)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: How should first contact be made ? - 7/25/2006 11:21:28 AM   
afeathr


Posts: 248
Joined: 6/1/2006
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

What would you (submissives and slaves particularly) consider to be the optimal size of a first email?


Excuse the obvious pun:  It's not the size of the email that counts... it's the content.

No one wants to be disrespected with a form letter - no matter how long or short it is...  No one wants to have the entire history of the person that is writing on the first email, either...  No one wants to spend hours composing an email only to have one little thing in that email cause the other person to shoot it down and not respond... so, the answer to your question is:

Hello,

I read your profile and was intrigued by (insert intriguing portion here).  (Ask an appropriate question or make a witty statement here).

My name is (insert name here) and I would very much like to get to know you better.  My profile (give your handlename here) is available for viewing at your convenience.  If you are as intrigued with me, as I am with you, I would like the opportunity for us to get to know each other better.

Looking forward to hearing from you soon!

signature

OR something to that effect.  Not a form letter, mind you... take the time to LOOK at the profile and respond to something that interests you.  If it's a cute pic or something saucy in their blog, then go with that.  But you see... the initial email doesn't have to be very long to catch someone's eye, and if they don't respond, you haven't put your life's blood into it either.

Oh, and it would behoove you to take your heart off your sleeve and not feel slighted if they don't respond... unfortunately, that happens a lot on both sides of the fence and though no one *likes* it... it's not really the end of the world.  I look at it this way... you will find who you are supposed to find *when* you are supposed to find them... be patient.

(in reply to BenignPlague)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: How should first contact be made ? - 7/25/2006 11:45:08 AM   
BenignPlague


Posts: 52
Joined: 5/10/2005
Status: offline 		Thank you for the kind response.  I've kind of grown used to wearing my heart on my sleeve as it's too big to fit into my pocket, so I'll try not to take nonresponses so personally.

(in reply to afeathr)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: How should first contact be made ? - 7/25/2006 12:48:53 PM   
scottjk


Posts: 335
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		I'm stubborn, period. Just my nature, I guess. That being said, I had to go through several iterations with my profile and felt like I was banging my head on the wall until something broke loose. After I put the picture frame back on the wall, I realized what I was REALLY needing in my life. Social interaction. Person to person interaction. (Job, marriage and finally divorce has a profound effect on one's social life). So, I wrote my profile to fit. All I really care about is that I want to go OUT and date. Simple as that. That's what I NEED. It's part of my rebuild plan, and I sort of missed it for awhile. I guess I really didn't want to date or socialize up until I had that light bulb moment. :)

Now, IF and when I send an email to some one that I'm interested in, I make it clear I'm interested in socializing, and I offer a game plan of sorts to her. "Hey, do you like Italian? I know a great place and I'd like to share it with you and get to know you."

I HATE online discussions with a potential sub. I really do. It's the LEAST satisfying part of finding some one, and as a result, I really don't put a lot of effort in it, just enough to show an interest, offer a comfortable public place to meet, share a meal and talk about nothing. :) (Nice simple dream! <chuckle>) Also, I don't do the supplicant thing, but I don't demand either. I just put it out there. I don't get many replies, but then, I don't care either. If she's more interested in the 'shiny' thing more than an honest profile and email, it probably wouldn't work out anyway. :)

(Dang, did it again. You know, I like structure, and this question was compelling to answer, but I'm not a sub. Hope I'm not disqualified!)

< Message edited by scottjk -- 7/25/2006 12:53:29 PM >

(in reply to BenignPlague)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: How should first contact be made ? - 7/25/2006 1:08:16 PM   
afeathr


Posts: 248
Joined: 6/1/2006
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

If she's more interested in the 'shiny' thing more than an honest profile and email, it probably wouldn't work out anyway. :)


And, in all truthfulness, that's the point.  Be honest and see what comes of it.  If she doesn't like you for who you are, then you don't belong together anyway.

Sir and I have had several discussions about the concept of "changing" someone when the relationship gets going.  I am different from a lot of women (according to Him) in that I don't *want* the man to change... I fell for him because of who he is now, not what I think he should be like... Be yourself... that's what you want your future sub/slave/lover to care about, right?

(in reply to scottjk)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: How should first contact be made ? - 7/25/2006 1:24:48 PM   
scottjk


Posts: 335
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: afeathr

quote:

If she's more interested in the 'shiny' thing more than an honest profile and email, it probably wouldn't work out anyway. :)


And, in all truthfulness, that's the point.  Be honest and see what comes of it.  If she doesn't like you for who you are, then you don't belong together anyway.

Sir and I have had several discussions about the concept of "changing" someone when the relationship gets going.  I am different from a lot of women (according to Him) in that I don't *want* the man to change... I fell for him because of who he is now, not what I think he should be like... Be yourself... that's what you want your future sub/slave/lover to care about, right?


That and to accept the changes I make in myself as time goes on (within reason of course). :)

(in reply to afeathr)
Profile   Post #: 30
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