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RE: Time to improve our value - 7/11/2006 1:58:04 PM

twicehappy

Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: eruditegirl1

Each of us has such a bank. Its name is TIME. Every morning, it credits you with 86,400 seconds. Every night it writes off what you have failed to invest. If you fail to use the day's deposits, the loss is yours. There is no going back. Invest it so as to improve. Get from it the utmost in health, happiness, and success! The clock is running. Make the most of life today.

A very thought provoking post but i prefer my shorter version of your ending statement.

When asked the question"What do you want out of life?". I always give my version;

To ear it whole every damn day!

_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to eruditegirl1)

Post #: 21

RE: Time to improve our value - 7/11/2006 4:07:23 PM

bandit25

Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline

I don't have a lot of self esteem issues. I'm pretty realistic. I know that I'm not attractive to everyone and that's ok. I only want/need to be attractive to Him and He says that I am, so I'm good :)

I'm in a relatively visable position and I, too, think that helps my self esteem. I'm usuallly the only woman at the meeting and when others tend to ignore me or don't listen, I'm blessed to have the kind of boss who says.."Um, you'll have to take that up with bandit" (well, he doesn't say bandit, but you get my drift).

(in reply to twicehappy)

Post #: 22

RE: Time to improve our value - 7/11/2006 4:35:18 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

great post eruditegirl...

I am not one that believes that everyone deserves to be loved... and everyone includes me.

but I do believe.... "that everyone as to the capacity to love and be loved"

Do I deserve to be loved... if I violate the trust of a child with abuse
... if I violate the trust of a woman with rape
... if I violate the trust of a perons with murder

and the list goes on.....

My point is that how we behave in our interactions with others will cause to earn love or not from others.

I also believe... "that everyone loves another and self for different reasons"

What I love of myself or another is unique and if I wish to have the love of another... I must be with someone that loves that which I am. I can't expect anyone and everyone to love who I am just as I will not love each and every person I come in contact with. If I wish to love someone I must find those that are the things that I love. I am fortunate that I have found a few in my life to love and be loved. But love take effort.

eruditegirl I really like your thoughts on the bank acount. Indeed we only have some much time... spend and invest in it wisely.

"

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to eruditegirl1)

Post #: 23

RE: Time to improve our value - 7/11/2006 4:37:50 PM

puella

Posts: 2457
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

What a lovely post, thank you , KnightofMists.. I may well have to email you again to tell you how brilliant you are! ... maybe it's just the distraction of the leather pants....

:)

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 24

RE: Time to improve our value - 7/11/2006 4:47:02 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

great post eruditegirl...

I am not one that believes that everyone deserves to be loved... and everyone includes me.

but I do believe.... "that everyone as to the capacity to love and be loved"

Do I deserve to be loved... if I violate the trust of a child with abuse
... if I violate the trust of a woman with rape
... if I violate the trust of a perons with murder

and the list goes on.....

My point is that how we behave in our interactions with others will cause to earn love or not from others.

I "

I would say if you had experienced enough love that you wouldn't be that person capable of those things... a person comes into this world deserving to be loved as a human being.. unfortunately not everyone is.. I find that most people think that all children deserve to be loved... and everyone was once a child

I edited this to add that there ARE some people that do love a rapist, a murderer, or any other description of dishonorable person. Even though they do not merit or earn love, there are those who bestow their love upon individuals that do these acts.. whether we find them deserving or not.. because love is a gift that the bestower decides to give, no one else can determine how or why they decide to give it.

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 7/11/2006 4:55:23 PM >

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 25

RE: Time to improve our value - 7/11/2006 4:55:13 PM

puella

Posts: 2457
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

Hello julia...

I think as our language progressed, that we have lost a lot from some earlier languages, like Greek, for instance, they have twenty some odd words for love, for the different types of love.

The love of your child is not quite the same thing as the love of a partner... there is choice in a partner, and a mate.

That sort of love is not owed to anyone, it is not something we deserve. It is simply the most precious of gifts. Gifts are not owed or deserved either.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 26

RE: Time to improve our value - 7/11/2006 4:56:10 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

I edited my last post for more clarity puella, please take a look at it..smiles

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to puella)

Post #: 27

RE: Time to improve our value - 7/11/2006 5:00:54 PM

puella

Posts: 2457
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

wooooooooooooooooops! My bad! ;)

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 28

RE: Time to improve our value - 7/11/2006 5:12:10 PM

enigmabrat

Posts: 2383
Joined: 8/1/2004
Status: offline

I struggle constantly with my own self worth my self immage and self asteem. a part of beeing abused is loss of all that and it is so hard to take back. Im working on it and I have help from a very kind Dom its a constant battle uphill but I can see my self asteem shineing through its all comeing back slowly but shorely

-da enigma-

_____________________________

Leather strap $85.00 on Master card
Wooden paddle $50.00 on Master card
ratten cane $48.00 on Master card

a Master that can use them all Priceless

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 29

RE: Time to improve our value - 7/11/2006 5:23:26 PM

puella

Posts: 2457
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

I think it's true that everyone, Dom or sub, has wobbly spots of self worth. I think it becomes a bit more precarious, however, when you submit your being to ownership. At that point, you give up, even your own measures of self worth, and place them at the feet of the person you give over to. Your entire world becomes colored by what pleases him. Your whole being is dedicated to him, how can it not effect how your worth is judged?

(in reply to enigmabrat)

Post #: 30

RE: Time to improve our value - 7/11/2006 5:26:03 PM

eruditegirl1

Posts: 175
Joined: 5/9/2006
From: Nevada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

great post eruditegirl...

I am not one that believes that everyone deserves to be loved... and everyone includes me.

but I do believe.... "that everyone as to the capacity to love and be loved"

Do I deserve to be loved... if I violate the trust of a child with abuse
... if I violate the trust of a woman with rape
... if I violate the trust of a perons with murder

and the list goes on.....

My point is that how we behave in our interactions with others will cause to earn love or not from others.

I also believe... "that everyone loves another and self for different reasons"

What I love of myself or another is unique and if I wish to have the love of another... I must be with someone that loves that which I am. I can't expect anyone and everyone to love who I am just as I will not love each and every person I come in contact with. If I wish to love someone I must find those that are the things that I love. I am fortunate that I have found a few in my life to love and be loved. But love take effort.

eruditegirl I really like your thoughts on the bank acount. Indeed we only have some much time... spend and invest in it wisely.

"

It took me a long time to realize what you stated in a paragraph...not everyone is going to like/love me...when I was younger it was some what devastating to me if I was not liked/loved by another...now it's like...ok...have a nice life...I have come to the conclusion...if everyone liked the same flavor of ice cream say Ben and Jerry's "Everything But"....then this world would be pretty darn boring and lacking in variety...so just because someone doesn't want to share my ice cream....doesn't mean I am not worthy of eating it...just that I need to find someone who enjoys my flavor...

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 31

RE: Time to improve our value - 7/11/2006 5:28:22 PM

Submotive

Posts: 440
Joined: 9/9/2005
Status: offline

Self-esteem - i think i have pretty good self-esteeem NOW. lol. There are so many factors that come into play with self-view and self-love - many of them have to do with a society that knows how to teach self indulgence, but very little about healthy self-esteem.

Through D/s i am always learning more about this topic. Healthy self-esteem for me comes from discipline - but balanced discipline. It needs to be balanced with leeway - the leeway to just be human. i learned to embrace all of me, not just the parts i judge as "good". That made a world of difference for me. i learned that i like me when i do the best i can to live up to my word, do my best in all things and always remember to be thankful for all i have. These things contribute to keeping my self-esteem in balance.

Do i have doubts - yup, at times. Actually, i'm glad or else i could become a self-righteous egomaniac. So, i think self-doubt, to a certain extent, is healthy. In my relationship with Master i am learning, always learning - some of it challenges what i've always believed about myself and life. He broadens my perspective and He is very supportive and loving as well as strict at times. All of this helps my self-esteeem.

Do i look to Him for my opinion of myself? Not typically - but sometimes. Fundamentally i think of myself as a decent, kind woman who has been very blessed.

_____________________________

Owned by Scotch Master

i would rather continue alone than be permitted to show only parts of myself to my Beloved.

If you're not living as you would like to today, when are you going to start?

(in reply to eruditegirl1)

Post #: 32

RE: Time to improve our value - 7/11/2006 5:33:23 PM

eruditegirl1

Posts: 175
Joined: 5/9/2006
From: Nevada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: puella

I think it's true that everyone, Dom or sub, has wobbly spots of self worth. I think it becomes a bit more precarious, however, when you submit your being to ownership. At that point, you give up, even your own measures of self worth, and place them at the feet of the person you give over to. Your entire world becomes colored by what pleases him. Your whole being is dedicated to him, how can it not effect how your worth is judged?

I am curious....as to how one can give up their self worth....and place it at someone's feet...self worth...self as in you and worth as in how you measure you...how can that be given away....just wondering

(in reply to puella)

Post #: 33

RE: Time to improve our value - 7/11/2006 5:37:13 PM

puella

Posts: 2457
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

Well, you do not actually give up your worth, but you do surrender to the means by which it is measured when you decide to become property.

That is the nature of slavery.

(in reply to eruditegirl1)

Post #: 34

RE: Time to improve our value - 7/11/2006 5:39:39 PM

eruditegirl1

Posts: 175
Joined: 5/9/2006
From: Nevada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: enigmabrat

I struggle constantly with my own self worth my self immage and self asteem. a part of beeing abused is loss of all that and it is so hard to take back. Im working on it and I have help from a very kind Dom its a constant battle uphill but I can see my self asteem shineing through its all comeing back slowly but shorely

-da enigma-

sounds like you are moving forward....and finding who you are ....and healing in the process....and that is such an awesome thing....

(in reply to enigmabrat)

Post #: 35

RE: Time to improve our value - 7/11/2006 5:40:26 PM

SubMizu

Posts: 18
Joined: 6/8/2006
Status: offline

OP,

Thank you so much for writing that wonderful post. I've been having some serious issues with self-esteem and self-worth, and see this along with all the other things I have been reading makes me feel so much better about myself. Thank you. *curtsies*

~Sub Mizu

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 36

RE: Time to improve our value - 7/11/2006 5:42:31 PM

eruditegirl1

Posts: 175
Joined: 5/9/2006
From: Nevada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: puella

Well, you do not actually give up your worth, but you do surrender to the means by which it is measured when you decide to become property.

That is the nature of slavery.

Thank you for the clarification?...I am still confused....but then I am still learning the lifestyle.....

(in reply to puella)

Post #: 37

RE: Time to improve our value - 7/11/2006 5:46:26 PM

eruditegirl1

Posts: 175
Joined: 5/9/2006
From: Nevada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SubMizu

OP,

Thank you so much for writing that wonderful post. I've been having some serious issues with self-esteem and self-worth, and see this along with all the other things I have been reading makes me feel so much better about myself. Thank you. *curtsies*

~Sub Mizu

AWWWW...no thank you....for your post....this is why I started it...so we all can share...learn and grow....

(in reply to SubMizu)

Post #: 38

RE: Time to improve our value - 7/11/2006 5:49:39 PM

puella

Posts: 2457
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

Hey, I am not saying it is right for everyone... and it is beyond dangerous.. but.. Hmm..I guess the nature of a consensual slave, in my opinion is very very precarious. But possible. ;)

(in reply to eruditegirl1)

Post #: 39

RE: Time to improve our value - 7/11/2006 6:01:15 PM

enigmabrat

Posts: 2383
Joined: 8/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: eruditegirl1

quote:

ORIGINAL: enigmabrat

I struggle constantly with my own self worth my self immage and self asteem. a part of beeing abused is loss of all that and it is so hard to take back. Im working on it and I have help from a very kind Dom its a constant battle uphill but I can see my self asteem shineing through its all comeing back slowly but shorely

-da enigma-

sounds like you are moving forward....and finding who you are ....and healing in the process....and that is such an awesome thing....

yes Im moveing foword but I still have slips and i find myself in trouble when I forget and say thinkg like im stupid

_____________________________

Leather strap $85.00 on Master card
Wooden paddle $50.00 on Master card
ratten cane $48.00 on Master card

a Master that can use them all Priceless

(in reply to eruditegirl1)

Post #: 40

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