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Doms and Dommes, What social responsibilities to their ... - 8/21/2014 3:28:40 PM   
Crouchingtiger77


Posts: 174
Joined: 10/21/2012
Status: offline 		Sorry that the subject line is so long, I tried to keep it short but to the point. and also keep it open ended meaning, use of words like can or may versus should or must.

Here is the question in more concrete terms. A Dom or Domme, to their submissive, are there any perceived responsibilities they may or could have which are not part of the perceived kink that goes on, that meaning safe play, safe words and such.

I am thinking more for example say a Dom ' Domme have a sub and that sub has great potential and gifting in a certain area whether music, art, science or what ever but has been afraid to pursue it. Would it be conceivable that the Dom or Domme in wanting the best for their sub works so as to build their subs confidence, to pursue their field of gifting and skills?

or, a Dom or Domme have a sub who has serious health problems, and no matter if the Dom or Domme prefer say BBM (Big Beautiful Men) they are more concerned that their male sub is in good health and therefore works to help their sub to have the best health they can have and if yes that means their sub gets down in weight and no longer BBM or BBW, so be it.

Or, is the life style and the relationships only about what the Dom or Domme want and desire for their own pleasure?

Again, I have tried to keep this open ended versus closed ended for open discussion.
Thank you as I know many may read this as closed and that is not my intent.
Tiger
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Doms and Dommes, What social responsibilities to th... - 8/21/2014 5:21:31 PM   
Kaliko


Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline 		Short answer: yes, it's about what the Dominant wants.

quote:

or, a Dom or Domme have a sub who has serious health problems, and no matter if the Dom or Domme prefer say BBM (Big Beautiful Men) they are more concerned that their male sub is in good health and therefore works to help their sub to have the best health they can have and if yes that means their sub gets down in weight and no longer BBM or BBW, so be it.


Longer answer: It's an interesting question - whether a dominant who prefers a BBM (how very politically correct of you) should be sure their submissive slims down due to health reasons. I think many people's gut reaction answer would be "Of course!" But I know for a fact that is not the gut reaction of all. There was a similar question recently about ethics. The question was "What if he told me to do something I know damn well is wrong? What if he told me to kill a bunny just for the hell of it?" The answer given? "Kill the bunny."

Personally, I don't agree with absolving all responsibility like that. Or rather, I'm not ready to. If my health is in danger and my Dominant were to continue to keep me at the dangerous place, I would fight. Or I would bolt. I like living way too much. Nor would I kill the bunny just because he wanted to see me do it. It's my life, my soul, my responsibility. But the idea of complete surrender in that manner is intriguing. Just as I now find myself in a manner of service I have never thought possible (I didn't even conceive of it, really), I can't help but wonder how much further it will go.

So. Should the Dominant keep the submissive in an unhealthy state for his pleasure? I'm actually shaking my head right now in puzzlement. Practically - no. Theoretically - well, is the submissive really surrendered to him? Or only until a certain point? Personally, I think obedience to the point of threatening one's own well-being would be psychotic. But boy, that can go so many different ways, can't it? There are some of us that would probably be considered by others to be putting our lives in danger almost every time we have sex, dependent on our kink. And I'm sure as all fuck that there is some real mental deterioration going on with some of the "kinks" I see around these parts. What if the submissive is mentally and emotionally healthier by serving their Dominant and putting their physical health on the back burner? I mean, it seems like an easy enough answer, and maybe to this specific question it is. Because obviously, if a submissive is so unhealthy (or so dead) that they can no longer serve their Dominant, then the Dominant isn't really getting anything out of it, are they? (Ah, but then what if those few years of good service from the unhealthy submissive seemed a fair trade-off to the Dominant to a shortened relationship?)

I want to clarify, because I think I might be going all over the place. Personally, I am positive my Dominant would not put my health at risk. (Quite the opposite, actually.) I'm not saying that I personally aspire to such a thing, but that's easy for me to say because I know it's a moot point. But I do see how maybe the well-being of a submissive might actually come secondary to the Dominant's desire, even to the point of being a risk to their lives, because I see it all around. I won't name the kinks because we're not supposed to bash, but some of them are fucked up and putting those submissives in some sort of danger all the time. Are they (the submissives) allowing that to happen? Have they reached a point where they can no longer say no? Do they even realize they are being put at risk?

Yes, I noticed that there's no actual answer in what I've written. I think there are just so many facets to this question. It's actually kind of fascinating.


(in reply to Crouchingtiger77)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Doms and Dommes, What social responsibilities to th... - 8/21/2014 5:37:01 PM   
praefectusnavis


Posts: 2
Joined: 8/11/2014
Status: offline 		What an interesting question, I suspect the answer lies within the attitude and protocol of the Dominant in question, the nature and longevity of the D/s relationship. My own stance is that any Dom/me has an overarching duty of care towards their subbie and that includes helping them and facilitating their goals where possible. Taking BDSM out of it, your subbie will also be someone you care for, so it is only human to want the best for them.

(in reply to Kaliko)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Doms and Dommes, What social responsibilities to th... - 8/21/2014 6:06:22 PM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline 		I'll repeat what others have noted...interesting question.

I'd say it depends on things such as the intent of the relationship...casual? Casual with the concomitant goal of moving towards serious? Serious already with the shared goal of Lonnnnng term?

And agreements between the submissive and the Dominant...how much of your life and actions OUTSIDE of D/s do you want me to control? Guide?

And relevance to the D/s dynamic, AND play dynamic...does your health impact how we play, how often we interact, rituals the Dominant and/or submissive might enjoy? Does it keep the submissive from improving themselves for their own good? For the good of the dynamic?

< Message edited by CreativeDominant -- 8/21/2014 6:42:57 PM >

(in reply to Crouchingtiger77)
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RE: Doms and Dommes, What social responsibilities to th... - 8/21/2014 10:33:11 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Crouchingtiger77

Sorry that the subject line is so long, I tried to keep it short but to the point. and also keep it open ended meaning, use of words like can or may versus should or must.

Here is the question in more concrete terms. A Dom or Domme, to their submissive, are there any perceived responsibilities they may or could have which are not part of the perceived kink that goes on, that meaning safe play, safe words and such.

I am thinking more for example say a Dom ' Domme have a sub and that sub has great potential and gifting in a certain area whether music, art, science or what ever but has been afraid to pursue it. Would it be conceivable that the Dom or Domme in wanting the best for their sub works so as to build their subs confidence, to pursue their field of gifting and skills?

or, a Dom or Domme have a sub who has serious health problems, and no matter if the Dom or Domme prefer say BBM (Big Beautiful Men) they are more concerned that their male sub is in good health and therefore works to help their sub to have the best health they can have and if yes that means their sub gets down in weight and no longer BBM or BBW, so be it.

Or, is the life style and the relationships only about what the Dom or Domme want and desire for their own pleasure?

Again, I have tried to keep this open ended versus closed ended for open discussion.
Thank you as I know many may read this as closed and that is not my intent.
Tiger


Funny that you bring this up. My slut and I have been together now for the better part of a year. When I met her, she was separated, working on getting a divorce and her life was a bit in turmoil as a result... hard to imagine I know. We talked for many hours about the things she was going through and I helped her deal with things as they came, but I began to hear a pattern from her that indicated to me some very serious self esteem problems. One day I brought this up to her and asked her about it. She told me that because of her nature, she was always caring for others, taking the blame for everything and that she felt she was worthless and didn't matter. Quick note, she does see a therapist.

OK, so after she confessed this to me, I began to work with her to build her confidence, and her self worth. This took months and months of discussions into the wee hours of the night, but I told her that I don't want her to feel worthless, and that she doesn't matter, I want her to be strong and be able to stand on her own two feet. When she told me about things that were happening in her daily life, I began working with her to show her how to deal with some things differently so she was not put in a position of feeling worthless. I have taught her to be able to be assertive, to feel confident and to be strong and each and every day that she grows, I become more proud of her because she is working her ass off to turn her life around and become the person she wants to be. It has been so rewarding to watch her journey, and we are far from finished, but I found something that was extremely interesting through all of this, her submissiveness to me increased tenfold from when we met. She is so grateful to have me as her dominant, and I am grateful to have her too.

I believe that in a relationship, you need to support each other, the good and the bad. The BDSM aspect is merely the icing for me, because she is going free of a difficult past. As a dominant, I feel responsible for her well being. I feel that I need to do whatever I can to help her improve herself and help her change what she wants to change. She has told me that for the first time in her life she feels like she matters to someone, really and truly matters. She is correct.

Of course, others may not agree with my dynamic, but that is OK, it works for us and that is what matters. Our BDSM experiences together have only been heightened by the other facets of our relationship.

I hope this answers your question.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to Crouchingtiger77)
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RE: Doms and Dommes, What social responsibilities to th... - 8/21/2014 10:37:10 PM   
seekingreality


Posts: 599
Joined: 8/11/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Crouchingtiger77

Sorry that the subject line is so long, I tried to keep it short but to the point. and also keep it open ended meaning, use of words like can or may versus should or must.

Here is the question in more concrete terms. A Dom or Domme, to their submissive, are there any perceived responsibilities they may or could have which are not part of the perceived kink that goes on, that meaning safe play, safe words and such.

I am thinking more for example say a Dom ' Domme have a sub and that sub has great potential and gifting in a certain area whether music, art, science or what ever but has been afraid to pursue it. Would it be conceivable that the Dom or Domme in wanting the best for their sub works so as to build their subs confidence, to pursue their field of gifting and skills?

or, a Dom or Domme have a sub who has serious health problems, and no matter if the Dom or Domme prefer say BBM (Big Beautiful Men) they are more concerned that their male sub is in good health and therefore works to help their sub to have the best health they can have and if yes that means their sub gets down in weight and no longer BBM or BBW, so be it.

Or, is the life style and the relationships only about what the Dom or Domme want and desire for their own pleasure?

Again, I have tried to keep this open ended versus closed ended for open discussion.
Thank you as I know many may read this as closed and that is not my intent.
Tiger


Short answer: depends on the specific relationship. BDSM relationships can be far ranging. Some are purely physical/sexual; some are emotional/intimate. Some dominants are completely self-absorbed; others have deep relationships with their subs where each person wants the other to be the best possible version of themselves. So, pretty much, any type of relationship you can imagine across the spectrum happens. There isn't any "typical" relationship.

(in reply to Crouchingtiger77)
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RE: Doms and Dommes, What social responsibilities to th... - 8/21/2014 10:47:51 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: seekingreality

There isn't any "typical" relationship.



Yes there is. My way is right. Your way is wrong.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to seekingreality)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Doms and Dommes, What social responsibilities to th... - 8/22/2014 6:39:37 AM   
InHisHeart


Posts: 630
Joined: 3/22/2014
Status: offline 		I believe in any type serious relationship, both partners have a responsibility to support, encourage, help each other, be there for each other. I don't feel a Dom is solely responsible for a subs life, health, reaching goals, etc.

You know the old saying "you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink it". Everyone, regardless if they're a Dom or sub, they have a responsibility to help themselves, be willing to do the work needed whether it be to reach goals, expand on their gifts, deal with emotional issues, their physical or mental health, be open and willing to accept the support, help, encouragement from their partner.

A Dom is only human too, there are times a Dom needs encouragement, support, help and ummm.......dare I say..........maybe a kick in the ass from their sub too.

_____________________________

I don't have a bucket list but my fucket list is a mile long.

I would rather have a mind opened by wonder than one closed by belief.


(in reply to Crouchingtiger77)
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RE: Doms and Dommes, What social responsibilities to th... - 8/22/2014 8:14:51 AM   
ChrchofDrk


Posts: 304
Joined: 7/24/2013
Status: offline 		Agreed .. and well done Gauge. (not that my opinion really matters I'm sure)

(in reply to InHisHeart)
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RE: Doms and Dommes, What social responsibilities to th... - 8/22/2014 9:35:04 AM   
littleladybug


Posts: 1082
Joined: 5/30/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: InHisHeart

A Dom is only human too, there are times a Dom needs encouragement, support, help and ummm.......dare I say..........maybe a kick in the ass from their sub too. [/color]


Fully agreed.

Personally, I would not want to be in any sort of committed relationship where we were not *each other's* biggest cheerleaders.

In my experience, Doms have wanted me to be content, happy and healthy for their own pleasure. Of course, who wants a grumpy sub around all the time? And, the feeling has been mutual.

(in reply to InHisHeart)
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RE: Doms and Dommes, What social responsibilities to th... - 8/22/2014 10:06:21 AM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: InHisHeart

I believe in any type serious relationship, both partners have a responsibility to support, encourage, help each other, be there for each other. I don't feel a Dom is solely responsible for a subs life, health, reaching goals, etc.

You know the old saying "you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink it". Everyone, regardless if they're a Dom or sub, they have a responsibility to help themselves, be willing to do the work needed whether it be to reach goals, expand on their gifts, deal with emotional issues, their physical or mental health, be open and willing to accept the support, help, encouragement from their partner.

A Dom is only human too, there are times a Dom needs encouragement, support, help and ummm.......dare I say..........maybe a kick in the ass from their sub too.
couldn't have said this part any better myself.

Except the "kick in the ass part"...I, of course, NEVER need a "kick in the ass".

(in reply to InHisHeart)
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RE: Doms and Dommes, What social responsibilities to th... - 8/22/2014 11:03:33 AM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ChrchofDrk

Agreed .. and well done Gauge. (not that my opinion really matters I'm sure)


Thank you. And hey, we can disagree, I don't hold grudges.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to ChrchofDrk)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Doms and Dommes, What social responsibilities to th... - 8/22/2014 1:19:06 PM   
domincalifornia


Posts: 88
Joined: 6/7/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge


quote:

ORIGINAL: seekingreality

There isn't any "typical" relationship.



Yes there is. My way is right. Your way is wrong.



That is the definition of the adjective "true" that people like to affix to sub, dom and everything.

A "true" WHATEVER is someone who thinks like I do. :)

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Doms and Dommes, What social responsibilities to th... - 8/23/2014 4:26:49 AM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: seekingreality

Short answer: depends on the specific relationship. BDSM relationships can be far ranging. Some are purely physical/sexual; some are emotional/intimate. Some dominants are completely self-absorbed; others have deep relationships with their subs where each person wants the other to be the best possible version of themselves. So, pretty much, any type of relationship you can imagine across the spectrum happens. There isn't any "typical" relationship.

What you're asking, OP, has to do with personal integrity beyond the limited scope of D/s & BDSM practices, and this is a highly private matter between individuals. A person doesn't conduct himself or herself with integrity in their interpersonal relationships or within societal constructs out of social responsibility alone. In other words, there are no social norms which can impose standards upon us apart from our subjective consciences.

I can deal with others in a business setting with professional integrity because I am accountable to myself (others may do so out of accountability to external factors).
The reason why I mention this is because there are those who treat their clients and colleagues with a greater sense of accountability than they do their own family or intimate partners. Reputation means more to them than the respect of their loved ones, which they have taken for granted as unconditional to a certain degree.
I have known people who hold themselves to a higher level of accountability to their friends, their peers, the members of their church or to a civic organization, than they do with their own family. Where is the personal integrity in that?
(Couldn't just give you a short answer to an issue of such complexity. )

As several posters have noted, it really does boil down to the type of relationship the Dominant has with his/her submissive, and this can make all the difference in the world. Commitment levels, trust levels, maturity levels, financial means and/or resources, including the available resource of time, any number of factors can affect this process.

For example in terms of vanilla relationships, when I was fresh out of college I had a live-in mate (my fiancé), a man I had assumed would become my life partner. I helped him make it through his MBA program with flying colors in every which way imaginable, and made untold personal sacrifices during that 5-year period. We had agreed that once he reached his personal & professional advancement goals, then it would be my turn. My turn never came. (Yes, I know, I was young & stupidly idealistic. It's not for nothing old-timers say, A bird in hand is worth two in the bush.)

Ultimately, the question is this: What is the shared vision of the couple? Is there one in place, or are they both on a convergent or divergent track? What are the trade-offs which will need to be considered and mutually agreed upon? How does this get measured in all fairness as an investment in time and resources is what both Dominant and submissive have to work out between themselves.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to seekingreality)
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RE: Doms and Dommes, What social responsibilities to th... - 8/23/2014 6:12:04 AM   
RockaRolla


Posts: 1153
Joined: 1/20/2014
From: South Florida
Status: offline 		I believe that the more control a dom has over a sub, the greater his responsibility to care for said sub. At the same time, the sub should retain the responsibility of making sure this dynamic provides an ideal balance of co-dependency and autonomy, and be able to evaluate whether the dynamic will ultimately do her good or harm.

So while the dom is responsible for not making his sub do something that will be harmful to her health long-term, the sub should be self-aware enough to know whether a task assigned to her will cause this harm. She should then have the ability to either communicate this to her dom, or walk away if she feels that's the safest option.

In this way, both parties are responsible for communicating before and during the relationship to determine compatibility. And if something should go wrong, both share part of the blame.

(in reply to Crouchingtiger77)
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RE: Doms and Dommes, What social responsibilities to th... - 8/23/2014 3:10:45 PM   
Crouchingtiger77


Posts: 174
Joined: 10/21/2012
Status: offline 		Here are some other areas of social life
> If you as Dom or Domme have a sub who over uses adult beverages would you take them for counseling or other professional help?

> If you as Dom or Domme have substance abuse with adult beverages and your sub wanted to take you for professional help would you let them?

> If you as Dom or Domme have a sub who is addicted to drugs. well you get the picture from the above question?

Next :

> If you don't as master and or mistress smoke and you sub does, do you do what you can to get them to quit because it is best for their health?

> if you as Dom or Domme smoke but your sub does not, do you smoke with them in closed room even though the poisons in 2nd hand smoke are over 40 including arsenic and formeldyhyde and others?

> If you as Dom or Domme exercise and in good condition do you get your sub to exercise and help them with their diet so they can be in better health to avoid risk of heart disease, diabetes, and how many other horrible diseases?

>. if you as Dom or Domme do not exercise but your sub does, would you ask them to help you train so you are in better shape? BBM in the long term at great risk not just to heart disease but too many other diseases to mention here, or do you want to have your sub take care of you because you can't get out of bed because of one of these myriad of diseases and that could have been avoided if you had been in better condition?


(in reply to RockaRolla)
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RE: Doms and Dommes, What social responsibilities to th... - 8/23/2014 7:48:32 PM   
InHisHeart


Posts: 630
Joined: 3/22/2014
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Crouchingtiger77

Here are some other areas of social life
> If you as Dom or Domme have a sub who over uses adult beverages would you take them for counseling or other professional help?

> If you as Dom or Domme have substance abuse with adult beverages and your sub wanted to take you for professional help would you let them?

> If you as Dom or Domme have a sub who is addicted to drugs. well you get the picture from the above question?

Next :

> If you don't as master and or mistress smoke and you sub does, do you do what you can to get them to quit because it is best for their health?

> if you as Dom or Domme smoke but your sub does not, do you smoke with them in closed room even though the poisons in 2nd hand smoke are over 40 including arsenic and formeldyhyde and others?

> If you as Dom or Domme exercise and in good condition do you get your sub to exercise and help them with their diet so they can be in better health to avoid risk of heart disease, diabetes, and how many other horrible diseases?

>. if you as Dom or Domme do not exercise but your sub does, would you ask them to help you train so you are in better shape? BBM in the long term at great risk not just to heart disease but too many other diseases to mention here, or do you want to have your sub take care of you because you can't get out of bed because of one of these myriad of diseases and that could have been avoided if you had been in better condition?


I used to drink socially but haven't had any alcohol in 6 years, just a personal choice I made. Master is the brewmaster for his brewery, he drinks beer but seldom more than three and he doesn't drink every night. If he was an alcoholic or drug addict or had any addiction before we got involved, I would not have involved myself with him, way too much drama, hurt and turmoil being in a relationship with an addict.

If these issues came up after we got into a relationship, he would have to get help, take getting sober very seriously and sober up or it would be a definite deal-breaker for me. The same goes for him, I would have to get help, take it seriously, get sober or it'd be a deal-breaker for him.

I used to smoke two cigarettes a day, never smoked in the house, always went outside to smoke but I no longer smoke. The two cigarettes a day never bothered him, if I was smoking a lot, it would bother him and he'd encourage me to quit, most likely he'd demand I quit.

We both eat healthy, we work out 4-5 days a week and are physically active with walking/running, hiking, swimming. It's the kind of lifestyle we've both always lead from the time we were kids and it is one of the areas we both always needed compatibility with in a partner. If one of us stopped doing what we've always done, it would cause concern that something else was going on either physically or emotionally. We'd have to get to the core of the problem and go from there to figure out what needs to be done to fix the core issue.


_____________________________

I don't have a bucket list but my fucket list is a mile long.

I would rather have a mind opened by wonder than one closed by belief.


(in reply to Crouchingtiger77)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Doms and Dommes, What social responsibilities to th... - 8/23/2014 8:44:25 PM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Crouchingtiger77

Here are some other areas of social life

> If you as Dom or Domme have a sub who over uses adult beverages would you take them for counseling or other professional help?

> If you as Dom or Domme have substance abuse with adult beverages and your sub wanted to take you for professional help would you let them?

If you are referring to energy drinks, those can be lethal to young adults especially. A couple of years ago there was a 14-year-old local girl who fatally overdosed on energy drinks as part of her (self-regulated) weight-control regimen and we attended her awareness-raising benefit concert, so this can be a serious issue.
As the Domme, I would ban these beverages from the house. My sub would be on the honor system to not sneak them behind my back, the same as with any other kind of disallowed substance or undesirable behavior.

If I were the one with the problem, I would hope my friends and loved ones would intervene on my behalf. How a Dominant would respond to such "interference" is a matter that is open for speculation, depending on the individual, the same as with any other form of substance abuse or addiction (gambling, porn). A sub who finds himself/herself in the untenable position of getting caught up with an addicted Dominant who refuses to seek help needs to put on his/her running shoes and get the hell out of that detrimental relationship entanglement.

quote:

> If you as Dom or Domme have a sub who is addicted to drugs. well you get the picture from the above question?

I would certainly hope my sub is not addicted to drugs or doesn't become addicted to painkillers, for instance. That would be a deal breaker. He would have the choice of seeking professional help, going into rehab, or having our relationship end. If we had a history previously, as with a friendship, then I could continue to be his friend but nothing more.

quote:

Next :
> If you don't as master and or mistress smoke and you sub does, do you do what you can to get them to quit because it is best for their health?

> if you as Dom or Domme smoke but your sub does not, do you smoke with them in closed room even though the poisons in 2nd hand smoke are over 40 including arsenic and formeldyhyde and others?

If I didn't smoke, I wouldn't choose a sub who does if smoking were an issue with me.
I am a light smoker and wouldn't choose a sub who had a problem with my occasional smoking. However, I wouldn't want a sub who had a smoking fetish either, because that wouldn't be a positive influence on me. He would need to take a neutral stance on this matter or be a light smoker himself.

There is a hookah (tobacco smoking through a Middle-Eastern/Asian-style water pipe) bar in a small city nearby which a few of my older son's friends have frequented. Not my cup of tea. I don't mind a once-in-a-blue-moon/special-occasion cigar-smoker or pipe-smoker. Chewing tobacco is a Hard Limit. *Blech*

quote:

> If you as Dom or Domme exercise and in good condition do you get your sub to exercise and help them with their diet so they can be in better health to avoid risk of heart disease, diabetes, and how many other horrible diseases?

> if you as Dom or Domme do not exercise but your sub does, would you ask them to help you train so you are in better shape? BBM in the long term at great risk not just to heart disease but too many other diseases to mention here, or do you want to have your sub take care of you because you can't get out of bed because of one of these myriad of diseases and that could have been avoided if you had been in better condition?

I would like for regular exercise to be a shared activity with my sub and me, one that we can participate in together, even if it's just taking a nice, long conversational stroll every evening.
Not keen on gymrats or men who are overly obsessed with physical fitness, their physique or physical appearances (either their own or that of others). Vanity is so unbecoming, but more so in a man.
Everything in moderation is the best policy to follow or adopt. The benefits of exercise are negated without proper nutrition. Good nutrition, good eating habits, and maintaining a healthy lifestyle are more important.

[Edited for typo]

< Message edited by FieryOpal -- 8/23/2014 9:20:48 PM >

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to Crouchingtiger77)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Doms and Dommes, What social responsibilities to th... - 8/24/2014 8:31:29 AM   
shouldiQmark


Posts: 24
Joined: 8/2/2014
Status: offline 		I personally hope that this is absolutely a part of any D/s relationship I am in.

To see my sub grow emotionally, intellectually, spiritually, to encourage her to attain the highest level in anything they do - that's got to be rewarding for both parties.

(in reply to Crouchingtiger77)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Doms and Dommes, What social responsibilities to th... - 8/24/2014 8:47:06 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		If he didn't have my back, and didn't want me to have his, then why would we be together?

This is a full on relationship, not just fwb or fuck buddies. We owe each other this in order to keep the relationship strong. So yes, I've dragged him to the doctor and he's done the same to me.

Weight loss is tricky. If you aren't trained in the field, you can cause all kinds of problems. It's one of those things that you do best to hand off to a professional. Exercising together, sure. Having them keep a food diary, also a good idea. But deciding that you can tell them what they can and can't eat and when can easily backfire and fail, which leaves you feeling incompetent and can lead the sub to having resentments.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to shouldiQmark)
Profile   Post #: 20
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