quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge

This is a fast reply.

I am going to take a bit of a different direction with you, but I do care and I am very sorry for what has happened.

You got used. It happens, especially online. How are you going to make certain it doesn't happen again?

Listen, every decision I rushed into has ended up in disaster. I would take a good hard look at yourself and find out why you kind of rushed into this, falling for someone without seeing the waring signs all around you is problematic. I am sure you are hurt, but you need to find out why it happened and then protect yourself. I always suggest to people to not lead with their hearts but to rather use their heads first. I also suggest to people to examine whether or not they want a relationship with someone or they NEED a relationship with someone. Needing a relationship will cause you to compromise yourself and overlook the red flags staring you right in your face. You will make excuses for the inconsistencies and you will largely ignore what your gut is telling you.

You deserve better. Find that person.


Best of luck to you.

quote:

ORIGINAL: HurtandConfused

Really could do with some advice please.

Just out of a LTR. Met a man on-line who was a Dom (Had split up with his wife a year ago and was already divorced). Got chatting and messaging. We clicked. For some unknown reason I quickly accepted him (after abut a day) as my Dom. I suppose something about him really spoke to me.

Anyway, we agreed to meet. In that time pictures were swapped and we had phone sex. All good. However, I noticed that he was very quick to get off the phone after I had cum, it felt wrong but it shoved it out of my mind. We were due to meet the next day. He was meant to ring back, he didn't.

One the day of the meeting he contacted me to say he was ill. So after a bit of to-ing and fro-ing we postponed until the following week. We carried on as normal.

Over that weekend, it became apparent that he was actually after a M/s relationship. So off I went and had a really good think about it. He asked me to describe how I would view it. I shared a lot of myself, stuff from my background plus my thoughts about TPE. Anyway, before the meeting, again, not sure why, I accepted him as my Master and the training began. The pace increased. We met up. He was lovely. We agreed to see each other again.

And then after that, the wheels began to go a bit wobbly. I sensed him pulling away when I tried to talk about how this was making me feel i.e connected to him and I sought reassurance as to whether we were actually gong to do this thing or not. Anyway, by now feeling really quite rattled I wanted to speak to him that night (there was also something else really big happening personally that evening and I needed support). He said he was busy but we could speak the next day.

So we did. In that conversation he explained that he believed me to be vulnerable and wanted time to think about whether he wanted to make such a big commitment.

Anyway, later the next day I was assaulted by my ex. I rang him and messaged him but he wouldn't pick up. I had one message and then that was it.

I received an email a few days later (I sent him a couple more emails before this) saying that he had originally thought that I had made up the assault or used it to play for attention. He did say that he felt bad for that. And anyway now he realised hew wasn't ready for a LTR and wished me well.

I'm devastated. I'm beyond hurt and I cant stop crying. Reading this back I can see all kinds of wrong there. I'm just so confused. If there are any wise Master's here I would appreciate their advice.