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Giving him reasons to punish me - 10/6/2014 3:54:37 AM

Rovenna72

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My boyfriend and I have recently been playing around with bdsm, only in bed, with him domming me. I love being good for him, but I also love when he punishes me. Oftentimes when he gives me an order I want to disobey so he'll punish me, but I don't want to disappoint him so I don't. But then we're left with not enough reasons for him to punish me. Ideas?
Also, what kinds of names could I use with him during sex? He calls me things like "good girl" "sex toy" and "little cum slut" but calling him "master" doesn't sound right to me. Are there any other options I could think about?

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RE: Giving him reasons to punish me - 10/6/2014 5:31:46 AM

crazyml

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rovenna72

My boyfriend and I have recently been playing around with bdsm, only in bed, with him domming me. I love being good for him, but I also love when he punishes me. Oftentimes when he gives me an order I want to disobey so he'll punish me, but I don't want to disappoint him so I don't. But then we're left with not enough reasons for him to punish me. Ideas?

To an extent this is going to depend on what really drives you - If you've a strong streak of wanting to be obedient, then deliberately acting out to force a punishment may not be the best thing. That said, there are lots of ways you can make it clear that you'd like to be punished - From a cheeky look, to being naughty but there's a balance to be struck. The idea of "Topping from the bottom" (where the person in the sub role effectively takes charge) is talked about a lot here, and many doms find it a turn-off - (But since they're not your dom, it doesn't matter much, what matters is how you and your bf arrange your dynamic).

quote:

Also, what kinds of names could I use with him during sex? He calls me things like "good girl" "sex toy" and "little cum slut" but calling him "master" doesn't sound right to me. Are there any other options I could think about?

As someone who finds being called "master" feels a little silly (ie it feels silly to me - if it works for others then awesome), I can relate to this. Some people find "Sir" a little less odd. Strictly speaking, you should ask him what he wants you to call him, and be a good girl ;-) (He can always spank you if you forget).

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RE: Giving him reasons to punish me - 10/6/2014 5:55:22 AM

DesFIP

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Why does it have to be linked to punishment, for you doing things that disappoint him? Why can't either one of you say "Hey, I really feel like playing tonight. You up for that?".
Now, if either or both really loves the "you've been a bad girl" then there's role play. You didn't do your homework and the teacher 'punishes' you. Or silly things like "You didn't get the winning lottery ticket, I'm going to punish you for that".

Boss, captain, daddy, maestro, abba, try words in different languages. But during play I'm more likely to call him a rat than not.

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RE: Giving him reasons to punish me - 10/6/2014 7:12:08 AM

DarkSteven

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What DesFIP said. You don't have to do it just one way. See what works for both of you.

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RE: Giving him reasons to punish me - 10/6/2014 7:14:36 AM

CaptR

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You've stated your submission is in the bedroom so I'm assuming your "orders and subsequent punishment" are sexually oriented or related to intimacy in some way. You don't suggest his Dominance extends beyond the sheets. As DesFip has offered roleplay fits well and will provide you with many options to live out the Daddy/bratty girl dynamic. As for calling him names you can be as tame or as wild as fits the two of you. Personally, during some of our sessions I've found her calling me "MF'er" very inspiring at times. ;)

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RE: Giving him reasons to punish me - 10/6/2014 7:21:49 AM

Bhruic

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rovenna72

My boyfriend and I have recently been playing around with bdsm, only in bed, with him domming me. I love being good for him, but I also love when he punishes me. Oftentimes when he gives me an order I want to disobey so he'll punish me, but I don't want to disappoint him so I don't. But then we're left with not enough reasons for him to punish me. Ideas?
Also, what kinds of names could I use with him during sex? He calls me things like "good girl" "sex toy" and "little cum slut" but calling him "master" doesn't sound right to me. Are there any other options I could think about?

If you like being punished for mistakes, one way to develop that is to come up with somewhat complex, or at least frequent, protocols that may be difficult to remember. Things like how you respond to certain questions, or how you address him, or how you behave, in certain circumstances... they could be anything really. The only problem there is he must then be pretty vigilant in seeing that you behave correctly and catching when you don't.

As for what to call your master... Sir or Daddy are common. Another idea is research the word Master in other languages and see if one rolls of the tongue nicely.

Using master can seem campy or embarrassing at first... but if you are required to call him master, after a while it will seem natural. It felt unnatural to my slave at first as well, and she sometimes couldn't suppress a smile when she said it... that can be a good opportunity for punishment.

< Message edited by Bhruic -- 10/6/2014 7:25:25 AM >

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RE: Giving him reasons to punish me - 10/6/2014 8:00:02 AM

ResidentSadist

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Try the concept of "funishment' and you will have an excuse to get your S&M fix more often. I am sadist and my girl is masochist and we also have an M/s relationship. I would never spank her or torture her as punishment . . . she likes it too much. So torture is a reward around here.

Also, we have duties to each other and the relationship, the framework of which includes both our needs. One of our routines is for me to ask "have you had your spankings yet today?" So the concept of torture for daily pleasure works well. Also works as a reward, even if you playfully call the torture punishment.

Master - "Have you been a good girl?"
slave - "Yes sir. I have been a very good girl."
Master - "Well then . . . you'll be punished for that!"
slave - "Thank you Sir."

You can separate your M/s protocols and S&M pleasures so you get to enjoy them both.

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