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What's with all the subs on here thinking they're speci... - 10/10/2014 12:19:05 AM   
HexFeldragonne


Posts: 2
Joined: 10/8/2014
Status: offline 		I heard Collarme/space was bad, but jesus, this is ridiculous. In one day on Collarspace, I have received four inbox pages of messages. Nearly all of them are from men who do not meet one or both of my very clearly stated requirements- masochism and long hair. When I question them on this, some even claim they have long hair and then disappear when I ask for proof.

What I don't get is, why would people do this? If someone says 'I want X' and you are not X at all, rejection is inevitable. What's with all these people setting themselves up for rejection? Why would a guy I don't know with a shitty profile and no pictures think that he's so fucking special I'm going to drop my preferences just to top him? I seriously cannot explain this behaviour. I didn't realise people would actually be so much shittier here than on FL.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: What's with all the subs on here thinking they're s... - 10/10/2014 12:34:50 AM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HexFeldragonne

I heard Collarme/space was bad, but jesus, this is ridiculous.



And you came here to bitch about it. OK, bitch away... the site is not bad for what it is... the Internet however lives up to its billing.

quote:

In one day on Collarspace, I have received four inbox pages of messages. Nearly all of them are from men who do not meet one or both of my very clearly stated requirements- masochism and long hair. When I question them on this, some even claim they have long hair and then disappear when I ask for proof.


Gasp. People lie? On the Internet? How is it possible I have never heard this before?

quote:

What I don't get is, why would people do this?


Because they do? Sorry to break it to you, but if you cannot weed out the wheat from the chaff, then your efforts will largely be doomed. If you are a dominant, you should already get why people would do this.

quote:

If someone says 'I want X' and you are not X at all, rejection is inevitable. What's with all these people setting themselves up for rejection?


No idea. It seems like you did OK setting yourself up though.

quote:

Why would a guy I don't know with a shitty profile and no pictures think that he's so fucking special I'm going to drop my preferences just to top him?


Why would you think that you are so special that you couldn't compromise your preferences in order to find someone that might be a great match for you?

quote:

I seriously cannot explain this behaviour.


You should be able to... with what you claim you are, you should be able to have a great deal of answers. Not only that, but you should also have thicker skin and understand that not everyone is obligated to follow your rules for contacting you. If they don't fit what you want, delete them, block them and move on with your life. At this rate, you will have a heart attack before age 30.

quote:

I didn't realise people would actually be so much shittier here than on FL.


Welcome to the forums Princess.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to HexFeldragonne)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: What's with all the subs on here thinking they're s... - 10/10/2014 12:56:57 AM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HexFeldragonne
<snip>
What I don't get is, why would people do this? If someone says 'I want X' and you are not X at all, rejection is inevitable. What's with all these people setting themselves up for rejection?...

It's the Interwebz. There are a bunch of HNG-Horny Net Geeks on this and every other singles or sex site, and many of them are just looking for the next cheap thrill. IMO, it's a combination of loneliness, sexual frustration, and boredom because their lives are so empty and/or meaningless.
Separating the wheat from the chaff is a time-consuming process, but we've all got to deal with doing it in order to find ourselves that one rare gem find.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to HexFeldragonne)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: What's with all the subs on here thinking they're s... - 10/10/2014 2:14:50 AM   
Redhusky


Posts: 83
Joined: 7/2/2014
Status: offline 		This is the internet.
If you think they just lie in bdsm or M/s discussion , then your wrong. They can easily lie on any sites. They can easily lie on any account. Kids can lie about there age to go to adult site. A man can lie about his gender so he can dominate/seduce somebody else. Somebody can lie about his/her activity or description.

FL can be shittier too. Depends the group, time and discussion.

Why they do it ? It's the same reason husband cheat on there wife. Why do you think a married guy would cheat his wife.

(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: What's with all the subs on here thinking they're s... - 10/10/2014 2:21:11 AM   
lilponytail


Posts: 6
Joined: 10/7/2014
Status: offline 		You posted a somewhat sexy personal ad on the internet.

You got a lot of rubbish responses from horny guys all over the world. This will continue.

What exactly is confusing about this?

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: What's with all the subs on here thinking they're s... - 10/10/2014 4:20:35 AM   
ExiledTyrant


Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HexFeldragonne

I heard Collarme/space was bad, but jesus, this is ridiculous. In one day on Collarspace, I have received four inbox pages of messages. Nearly all of them are from men who do not meet one or both of my very clearly stated requirements- masochism and long hair. When I question them on this, some even claim they have long hair and then disappear when I ask for proof.

What I don't get is, why would people do this? If someone says 'I want X' and you are not X at all, rejection is inevitable. What's with all these people setting themselves up for rejection? Why would a guy I don't know with a shitty profile and no pictures think that he's so fucking special I'm going to drop my preferences just to top him? I seriously cannot explain this behaviour. I didn't realise people would actually be so much shittier here than on FL.


You should demand your money back.

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to HexFeldragonne)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: What's with all the subs on here thinking they're s... - 10/10/2014 4:47:48 AM   
SweetnStormySub


Posts: 74
Joined: 4/21/2012
From: Buckeye State
Status: offline 		I didn't know being a special snowflake was a bad thing! Note to self: become dull, apathetic, and blend in with the pack. Being common rocks my world!
Seriously, you did post this in the "ask a slave/submissive" forum, so that's this one's two cents.

(in reply to ExiledTyrant)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: What's with all the subs on here thinking they're s... - 10/10/2014 6:10:58 AM   
GoddessManko


Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

Separating the wheat from the chaff is a time-consuming process, but we've all got to deal with doing it in order to find ourselves that one rare gem find.


This is so, so true. There are other fetish community sites where you might want to try your gander. This site is the easiest as far as visibility, user friendliness and not being bombarded incessantly by pornographic content and unrealistic expectations.
You seem to be lifestyle so welcome to the club!

quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetnStormySub

I didn't know being a special snowflake was a bad thing! Note to self: become dull, apathetic, and blend in with the pack. Being common rocks my world!
Seriously, you did post this in the "ask a slave/submissive" forum, so that's this one's two cents.


Haha, your D would be one lucky fella.

_____________________________

Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

http://submissivemale.blogspot.com/

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: What's with all the subs on here thinking they're s... - 10/10/2014 6:41:36 AM   
HexFeldragonne


Posts: 2
Joined: 10/8/2014
Status: offline 		Thanks for the replies guys. I'm not shocked that they do it (though certainly shocked by the amount of it), I'm just trying to get my head around WHY they do it. Say, for example, I see a really hot sub guy, but for whatever reason, he doesn't date white women, or women with tattoos, or women who smoke. I wouldn't try my luck no matter how incredibly delicious he was because rejection is balls and I can't see the point of approaching someone who's already made a point of saying that he's not interested in (X trait that describes me). Theoretically, most everything everyone does is for some kind of personal benefit or gain, we are inherently selfish creatures after all. What is to be gained from messaging someone who is already guaranteed to reject you? To be honest I think I'll just delete my profile because this is stressful and really fucking annoying, so I'd better off sticking to Fetlife. Thanks for the input.

(in reply to GoddessManko)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: What's with all the subs on here thinking they're s... - 10/10/2014 6:49:16 AM   
SweetnStormySub


Posts: 74
Joined: 4/21/2012
From: Buckeye State
Status: offline 		Thank You, GoddessManko, for Your kind words! When I find Him I shall ever-so-subtly remind Him daily

(in reply to HexFeldragonne)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: What's with all the subs on here thinking they're s... - 10/10/2014 6:57:48 AM   
RockaRolla


Posts: 1153
Joined: 1/20/2014
From: South Florida
Status: offline 		Wait, you're complaining about subs who put in no effort in finding someone?

With your tantrum over having to filter your suitors, you're essentially doing the same thing. Nobody on a personals site gets a quick, easy time of it.

(in reply to HexFeldragonne)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: What's with all the subs on here thinking they're s... - 10/10/2014 7:06:18 AM   
RockaRolla


Posts: 1153
Joined: 1/20/2014
From: South Florida
Status: offline 		By the way, they're not reading your profile. They see a pretty picture and the penis starts typing.

(in reply to RockaRolla)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: What's with all the subs on here thinking they're s... - 10/10/2014 7:24:08 AM   
ExiledTyrant


Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RockaRolla

By the way, they're not reading your profile. They see a pretty picture and the penis starts typing.


You've been hacking my cam while I perv your profile, haven't you?

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to RockaRolla)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: What's with all the subs on here thinking they're s... - 10/10/2014 7:24:35 AM   
Bhruic


Posts: 985
Joined: 4/11/2012
From: Toronto, Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HexFeldragonne

I heard Collarme/space was bad, but jesus, this is ridiculous. In one day on Collarspace, I have received four inbox pages of messages. Nearly all of them are from men who do not meet one or both of my very clearly stated requirements- masochism and long hair. When I question them on this, some even claim they have long hair and then disappear when I ask for proof.

What I don't get is, why would people do this? If someone says 'I want X' and you are not X at all, rejection is inevitable. What's with all these people setting themselves up for rejection? Why would a guy I don't know with a shitty profile and no pictures think that he's so fucking special I'm going to drop my preferences just to top him? I seriously cannot explain this behaviour. I didn't realise people would actually be so much shittier here than on FL.


Two reasons:

1.) because the site is free, which means there is a lot of riff raff

2.) because plenty of people don't bother reading profiles. They just stab in the dark aimlessly.

_____________________________

pronounced "VROOick"

(in reply to HexFeldragonne)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: What's with all the subs on here thinking they're s... - 10/10/2014 7:29:26 AM   
Bhruic


Posts: 985
Joined: 4/11/2012
From: Toronto, Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HexFeldragonne

...I wouldn't try my luck no matter how incredibly delicious he was because rejection is balls ...


Haha... rejection IS balls. Welcome to the world of men :) We are trained from a young age to expect it. Maybe that's your answer.

If it was possible to identify who would not reject you, so you could guarantee success, relationships would be pretty easy. And if perseverance with someone who rejected you initially NEVER resulted in success, it wouldn't make sense for people to try it... but the fact is that sometimes it does work.

< Message edited by Bhruic -- 10/10/2014 7:34:44 AM >

_____________________________

pronounced "VROOick"

(in reply to HexFeldragonne)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: What's with all the subs on here thinking they're s... - 10/10/2014 7:32:17 AM   
HumanFirst


Posts: 2
Joined: 9/20/2014
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HexFeldragonne
Nearly all of them are from men who do not meet one or both of my very clearly stated requirements- masochism and long hair.


You know hair grows right? It isn't like a static thing. So unless you're just looking for a quick long haired shag, isn't the point of being D that you mold your respective s into what you want them to be?

In which case if I was a short haired masochist, and I saw a profile that wanted long hair (actually if I saw profile that demanded a particular hair style I'd move on immediately in a fit of WTF - but hey, your kink is ok and all that) but fitted in all other ways, I'd send a message, because the worst that could happen is she says no and we both move on, which is significantly outweighed by the benefits of her seeing my profile and saying 'hey, he sounds ok, maybe he'd grow his hair!

(in reply to HexFeldragonne)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: What's with all the subs on here thinking they're s... - 10/10/2014 7:32:56 AM   
RareByrd


Posts: 36
Joined: 1/15/2014
Status: offline 		"To be honest I think I'll just delete my profile"

That's the only reasonable thing you said here. Bye-bye.

(in reply to Bhruic)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: What's with all the subs on here thinking they're s... - 10/10/2014 7:51:18 AM   
GoddessManko


Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bhruic
Two reasons:

1.) because the site is free, which means there is a lot of riff raff


By riff raff, you mean men under 60 who know the difference between D and s. I have a platinum membership on another singles seeking kink site and I feel tempted to insist age play is not one of my kinks.
quote:


2.) because plenty of people don't bother reading profiles. They just stab in the dark aimlessly.

My sentiments exactly which is why I didn't put an incredible amount of effort into mine and made it EXTREMELY ELEMENTARY.

quote:

You know hair grows right? It isn't like a static thing. So unless you're just looking for a quick long haired shag, isn't the point of being D that you mold your respective s into what you want them to be?

Eh, one way of looking at it, but who wants to play the waiting game?

_____________________________

Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

http://submissivemale.blogspot.com/

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

(in reply to Bhruic)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: What's with all the subs on here thinking they're s... - 10/10/2014 8:36:13 AM   
searching4mysir


Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline 		They do it to feed their humiliation fetish and you feed into it with posts like this. Congratulations, you've ceded your dominance to a stranger on the internet by letting them get your panties in a twist.

_____________________________

No longer searching -- found my one and only right here on CM


(in reply to GoddessManko)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: What's with all the subs on here thinking they're s... - 10/10/2014 9:32:51 AM   
littleladybug


Posts: 1082
Joined: 5/30/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HexFeldragonne

To be honest I think I'll just delete my profile because this is stressful and really fucking annoying, so I'd better off sticking to Fetlife. Thanks for the input.


Ignoring someone who doesn't meet your criteria is "stressful"?

I've been meeting people online, on and off, for about the past dozen years. From my experience, I'd say the "success rate" that I've had is in the 2-3 percent area. Most people, I have found, just don't fit my own criteria. But, the reality is, that's what happens when you put yourself out there, whether it be here or any other place on the net. Like you, I have taken the tact of letting people come to me...but in doing that, I realize that I'm going to get correspondence from people who run the gamut. It does require a lot of sifting...but I have found that there are gems to be found.

As it seems like you made up your mind before your first post, I'd probably be better off speaking to a wall...but thought i'd put in my two cents anyway.

(in reply to HexFeldragonne)
Profile   Post #: 20
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