RE: Relying on unquestioned disclosure

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Relying on unquestioned disclosure

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Relying on unquestioned disclosure

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Relying on unquestioned disclosure - 10/15/2014 5:26:05 AM

MariaB

Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal
I know someone who cam-verified a perfectly proportionate midget who appeared to be normal-sized, and it wasn't until he flew in to meet this lady that she discovered this fact. Yes, she should have perhaps had him get up and walk around, but surely he had the sense to know that this more than likely would be a deal breaker that he should have disclosed ahead of time, wouldn't you agree? And perhaps if he had, it wouldn't have been such an obstacle (or not an insurmountable one), but his lie by omission was the greater transgression.

What I should of done is get him to hold up his football (he's a keen football player) and I would of seen that the ball was nearly as big as him

_____________________________

My store is http://e-stimstore.com

(in reply to FieryOpal)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: Relying on unquestioned disclosure - 10/15/2014 6:33:51 AM

GoddessManko

Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline

FR~ before getting to work. Getting to know someone is a drawn out process that takes weeks or months at a time. Everyone wears masks to protect themselves. I try to disclose all the very important make or break things about myself relatively early. Everyone should. I told someone I like last night about my friends. He kept asking and prodding. By the end of it he didn't feel "great" about what he heard. They are three very amazing men and I'm lucky to have them. Two of them have a great dislike for most people as well as incompetence. I'm more tolerant. The third is recently acquired but equally important and they all know me in very different ways.
Some people lead adventurous lives, some people stay on the same cul de sac their entire lives. Nothing is ever cut and dry. Some of my memories are vague because there are so many. Someone who wants to get to know me would have to be patient and understand I literally am the last person in the world who intends on misrepresenting herself. I have just lived a lot while my friends were all marrying into suburbia and I am very layered.

_____________________________

Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

http://submissivemale.blogspot.com/

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

(in reply to MariaB)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: Relying on unquestioned disclosure - 10/15/2014 10:08:01 AM

FieryOpal

Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB

What I should of done is get him to hold up his football (he's a keen football player) and I would of seen that the ball was nearly as big as him

ROFLMAO

I still don't understand how on earth this midget thought he could pull off his deception for so long, knowing that once you met him you would see for yourself that he wasn't an average-sized sub. I think people like that hope that they can get somebody to bond with them first, and that they'll endear themselves to you so much that nothing else will matter.

Believe me, it would be far better to undersell oneself rather than to oversell and not be able to deliver. If some guy wants to surprise me, it should be a good surprise, not a bad one. Where this becomes problematic once D/s and/or BDSM enters the picture is that operating under the premise of fully informed consent cannot work if either party withholds sensitive information or acts as if keeping potential partners fully informed without playing guessing games just isn't a priority to them (or one that can be delayed).

OP, upset and disappointed might be a better way to portray one's natural reaction to having been deceived or otherwise led on, rather than "getting angry." There may also be a sense of betrayal that a person has been found to be untrustworthy and not operating in good faith, directly proportionate to the degree of honesty and openness that was shown that person. Now, if somebody was not doing likewise, then s/he would not feel as inclined to hold the other person to a similar standard of integrity.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to MariaB)

Profile

Post #: 23

RE: Relying on unquestioned disclosure - 10/15/2014 2:18:31 PM

MariaB

Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline

The funny thing is, he did make a few comments about his looks. A few times he called himself, "ugly Giovanni" (not his real name) but he wasn't ugly. He had a look of Robbie Williams...in miniature as it turned out but a Robbie Williams all the same. Another funny thing that happened when we met was, he brought with him a paper saying he was clear of all STD's (in Italian). It was about as much use to me as an ashtray on a motorbike.

_____________________________

My store is http://e-stimstore.com

(in reply to FieryOpal)

Profile

Post #: 24

RE: Relying on unquestioned disclosure - 10/15/2014 2:53:15 PM

shiftyw

Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline

I guess my thing is...

HIV results can be negative a while after exposure. So while you may think you're ok, you and the other person may not even know.

Men don't even have a test of HPV (high risk) yet...and doesn't the whole dumb world have that already?

I mean...I tell my partners everything and ask what I need to know up front, but that doesn't mean I'll get the answers I need, its just the safest way to do it.

(in reply to FieryOpal)

Profile

Post #: 25

RE: Relying on unquestioned disclosure - 10/15/2014 9:15:02 PM

FieryOpal

Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB

The funny thing is, he did make a few comments about his looks. A few times he called himself, "ugly Giovanni" (not his real name) but he wasn't ugly. He had a look of Robbie Williams...in miniature as it turned out but a Robbie Williams all the same. Another funny thing that happened when we met was, he brought with him a paper saying he was clear of all STD's (in Italian). It was about as much use to me as an ashtray on a motorbike.

OMG, Robin Williams in miniature. Hahahaha...I. can't. type.

That's the first time I've heard that saying, about an ashtray on a motorbike. LOL

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to MariaB)

Profile

Post #: 26