WTF is wrong with me? (Full Version)

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JstAnotherSub -> WTF is wrong with me? (10/14/2014 3:13:49 PM)

I am usually an upbeat "it is what it is" kinda gal. But, for the past week I have been wondering just exactly wtf is wrong with me.

Not a drowning in sorrow kinda thing, but more of a reality kind of thing. Like, dammit I am fucking fat. I am working on that, not as hard as I could, but have been losing slowly and not regaining any for a year, probably lost a total of 35# ish.

I don't really enjoy people. The only time I care about going out and having a drink is when there is a good band. I will manage to have conversations during breaks, but when the music is playing, I hit a zone that is damn near impenetrable. I love that zone.

Love my job 99 days outta every 100. I count enjoying it that much as more money per year. It makes just barely keeping a step ahead of the bills not quite as disturbing!

Started making my self go on dates from POF. Been on several 1st dates, a few 2nd, and a couple of 3rds. No fireworks with anyone, but a couple of them were not horrible.

As I ponder the whole "dating at 52, while fat and anti social", thing (watch for the book) hahaha. As I ponder that, I wonder wtf is wrong with me. I cannot decide if I am batshit crazy and scare folks off, or if I am so comfortable alone, I put them off in some other way.

Got to thinking, I don't think I have ever "dated" much. In my younger days, I fucked who I wanted to fuck, usually on the first time meeting them and sometimes we ended up spending a few weeks, months, or hell 20 years with the ex together.

I cannot find that fuck on the first meeting place again I don't think. I did have a nice relationship with a domly dude for a good while, but I realized today that that was 9 fucking years ago! 9 MOTHERFUCKING YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!! How do 9 years fly by like that?

Anyhow, for the first time in 12 years, I actually miss having someone in my life, and I am afraid that 12 years not caring about it has made me sit around and wonder wtf is wrong with me.

Can anyone relate to any of this insanity or do I just need to go have a beer and not think any more today?

[sm=2cents.gif] welcomed, unless you happen to be a total douchecanoe.




smileforme50 -> RE: WTF is wrong with me? (10/14/2014 3:46:34 PM)

Whoa....

First of all....Congrats on the weight loss....I wish I could say the same thing about myself!


But....I could have written the line "As I ponder the whole "dating at 52, while fat and anti social", thing (watch for the book) hahaha. As I ponder that, I wonder wtf is wrong with me. I cannot decide if I am batshit crazy and scare folks off, or if I am so comfortable alone, I put them off in some other way.

....and all I would have to do is shave 4 years off the age.

When I was younger....I was still fat and didn't date much at all...I spent a lot of my time alone...but I didn't mind it. It was nice being free and not having to answer to anyone. But things have changed. I don't know if it's because I've gotten older that I don't want to be alone anymore...or if it's a product of losing my driver's license. When I first lost my license it made me very angry that I now "needed" people more than I did when I as younger. Now that I have my license back....I'm kind of on a fence. I don't mind being alone ....to a point....but sometimes I don't want to be alone. Which is a big change from when I was younger.



DaddySatyr -> RE: WTF is wrong with me? (10/14/2014 4:09:26 PM)


I can definitely relate to some of this. I think you have a few different questions going on but the one that speaks to me is that some of us (me) can find that place where we really are happy with who we are and where we are and before we decide to throw in our lot with someone, they need to be really amazing . I've been there.

I honestly think that when we reach that point, we can become a bit hermitic. At some point, our standards (or our walls) get so high that no one is able to scale them. Then, we look at the happiness - and we truly are happy within ourselves - and we realize that we have made it so difficult for anyone to meet our standards that show that they deserve to share our happiness that we have no one with whom to share that happiness. It's a vicious cycle.

My best advice is to understand that this is of your own creation and while you may seek that ultimate happiness, maybe the people with whom you've already interacted were also "holding back a piece of themselves", based upon a similar fear? Maybe some of those third dates merit a fourth? It's possible. No?







Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?



JstAnotherSub -> RE: WTF is wrong with me? (10/14/2014 4:21:52 PM)

Hell the 2 that I made it to third date with just quit calling. I have wondered if I was sposed to put out on date 3, if they got a better offer, if they were just fucking batshit crazy, if they had hoped the fat chick would give em a bj sooner, and of course, I have wondered wtf is wrong with me-lolol. This this thread.

Such is this adventure we call life!

And thanks Smile for the kind words.



Spiritedsub2 -> RE: WTF is wrong with me? (10/14/2014 4:29:25 PM)

I relate to lots of this. You don't sound crazy to me (for what that's worth). For me anyway, age (55) has brought me a keen sense of who I like to be around, and who I don't, and the latter category is roughly 98% of the people I meet. I'm getting a sense of that with you too from your post, that you want company and intimacy, but there just aren't many men who appeal to you (sorry if I got the orientation wrong). So it means living with loneliness and some need and at the same time being very selective about who you can choose. For me anyway, I broadened my focus so that my life has meaning beyond finding a partner.

Or you could drink a lot and you wouldn't be as choosy [:D]



DaddySatyr -> RE: WTF is wrong with me? (10/14/2014 4:33:01 PM)


Obviously, I wasn't on those dates but, if you'd like a male perspective ...

I don't expect a blow job or sex on a third date (although there have been times I wouldn't have said: "No") but, I do "expect" (please note the quotation marks) maybe some flirtatious behavior. If things are completely chaste ... if there's no indication of some future vo-di-oh-do-do, I start to get the feeling that the lady just isn't that into me and I may be wasting my time.

Now, leaving sex to the side and focusing on lifestyle type stuff: while I certainly don't look for submission by a third date, I look for little signs of submission. Example: If I mention that I really like your hair, when it's down and I think that purple is the sexiest color a lady can wear and that jeans should be just a bit snug to show off curves on a second date - I'm just talking in the course of conversation - if we get to date three and you're wearing work-out pants (think MC Hammer) and orange and the bun in your hair is so tight that your eyes are pulled open. I'm going to get the message.

If you're in those same pants and don't own anything purple but you're hair is falling about your shoulders, I'm in for a few more dates.

I am NOT saying that is the case. Like I said; I was not one of those third date guys. I was just trying to give an indication of what a fairly average guy might "expect" on a third date.







Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! ya feel me?



Kaliko -> RE: WTF is wrong with me? (10/14/2014 4:38:10 PM)

I agree that you have probably built up some walls that are of your own creation. Maybe because you've become comfortable enough with yourself that you won't settle for mere companionship just for the sake of companionship. Welcome to my world. It's a touch on the lonely side, but the bit of company I do keep is exceptional, in my opinion. My mother is amazing. She can walk into a party not knowing a soul and walk out at the end of the night with three new best friends. Me? I just view that as an awful lot of work to get to know people that I probably won't actually want to have a conversation with anyway - once the liquor wears off.

I do believe there is value in being social and giving of yourself, even if you wouldn't consider going out socially. Volunteer work springs to mind. You can make connections and keep good contact with new groups of people without committing to drinks in the bar. And it will lift your spirits. I heard once that if you are feeling poor, the best thing to do is to donate some of your money. So, if you are feeling anti-social and like something is wrong with you, then put yourself out there and help someone else who is dealing with something that is probably making them feel much the same way.

As far as how you feel about your body, might I suggest some mantras? For some time, I kept a few sentences about the health of my body taped to my monitor at home and my monitor at work. Reading these lines every day helped my frame of mind about my health going forward. Maybe the same approach could be useful for you?

quote:

Anyhow, for the first time in 12 years, I actually miss having someone in my life, and I am afraid that 12 years not caring about it has made me sit around and wonder wtf is wrong with me


Time does sneak up quickly. Perhaps it's time to shake things up a little bit in your life?



AAkasha -> RE: WTF is wrong with me? (10/14/2014 4:57:07 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr


Obviously, I wasn't on those dates but, if you'd like a male perspective ...

I don't expect a blow job or sex on a third date (although there have been times I wouldn't have said: "No") but, I do "expect" (please note the quotation marks) maybe some flirtatious behavior. If things are completely chaste ... if there's no indication of some future vo-di-oh-do-do, I start to get the feeling that the lady just isn't that into me and I may be wasting my time.

Now, leaving sex to the side and focusing on lifestyle type stuff: while I certainly don't look for submission by a third date, I look for little signs of submission. Example: If I mention that I really like your hair, when it's down and I think that purple is the sexiest color a lady can wear and that jeans should be just a bit snug to show off curves on a second date - I'm just talking in the course of conversation - if we get to date three and you're wearing work-out pants (think MC Hammer) and orange and the bun in your hair is so tight that your eyes are pulled open. I'm going to get the message.

If you're in those same pants and don't own anything purple but you're hair is falling about your shoulders, I'm in for a few more dates.

I am NOT saying that is the case. Like I said; I was not one of those third date guys. I was just trying to give an indication of what a fairly average guy might "expect" on a third date.







Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! ya feel me?


Holy passive aggressive batman!

Do femsubs really respond and like that? A dominant dropping hints and seeing if she picks it up and then obeys?

By third date there should be some chemistry. I wouldn't drop "hints" to a male sub what I want him to wear, I'd take him shopping and make him try stuff on and then buy it for him.

You like her hair down? Tell her to take out the hair clip. "And give it to me." Flirtatious control, a little sensual tension. By dropping hints, she is left to interpret..."well does he mean in general, but not on me? is he dropping a hint? Does he lack the confidence to be a little bit commanding but in a fun way? Is he waiting for one of those god awful checklists to come out?"

Nothing good EVER comes to hiding hopes/demands/commands/hints in conversation and then judging the other person by their ability to read between the lines - vanilla OR kink. Power exchange is subtle and sensual and so is flirtation. Combining the two makes sense, not just leaving ambiguous clues and hoping she catches on. That doesn't sound dominant at all.

Akasha




GoddessManko -> RE: WTF is wrong with me? (10/14/2014 5:08:02 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub

I am usually an upbeat "it is what it is" kinda gal. But, for the past week I have been wondering just exactly wtf is wrong with me.

Not a drowning in sorrow kinda thing, but more of a reality kind of thing. Like, dammit I am fucking fat. I am working on that, not as hard as I could, but have been losing slowly and not regaining any for a year, probably lost a total of 35# ish.

I don't really enjoy people. The only time I care about going out and having a drink is when there is a good band. I will manage to have conversations during breaks, but when the music is playing, I hit a zone that is damn near impenetrable. I love that zone.

Love my job 99 days outta every 100. I count enjoying it that much as more money per year. It makes just barely keeping a step ahead of the bills not quite as disturbing!

Started making my self go on dates from POF. Been on several 1st dates, a few 2nd, and a couple of 3rds. No fireworks with anyone, but a couple of them were not horrible.

As I ponder the whole "dating at 52, while fat and anti social", thing (watch for the book) hahaha. As I ponder that, I wonder wtf is wrong with me. I cannot decide if I am batshit crazy and scare folks off, or if I am so comfortable alone, I put them off in some other way.

Got to thinking, I don't think I have ever "dated" much. In my younger days, I fucked who I wanted to fuck, usually on the first time meeting them and sometimes we ended up spending a few weeks, months, or hell 20 years with the ex together.

I cannot find that fuck on the first meeting place again I don't think. I did have a nice relationship with a domly dude for a good while, but I realized today that that was 9 fucking years ago! 9 MOTHERFUCKING YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!! How do 9 years fly by like that?

Anyhow, for the first time in 12 years, I actually miss having someone in my life, and I am afraid that 12 years not caring about it has made me sit around and wonder wtf is wrong with me.

Can anyone relate to any of this insanity or do I just need to go have a beer and not think any more today?

[sm=2cents.gif] welcomed, unless you happen to be a total douchecanoe.




Hahaha, it's not you. The dating pool has changed ESPECIALLY since the recession. At least you're not a 54 year old male sub with roommates who thinks he's a "gift" to be claimed because "omg, so submissive!" (ugh!)
And 35 lbs is nothing to scoff at, that is AWESOME! When I first started out, I couldn't do ONE pushup, not one!!!!It was pretty pitiful I'm reluctant to admit and I was nottttttt barely legal at the time, we'll put it that way. Fitness has only been a part of my life for the past few years.
I introduced my gf to Insanity and she was so, so reluctant to do it, and omg I wish I had her before and after pics to show you because the transformation was nothing short of ASTOUNDING. She looked better than me despite being 12 years older. So don't get discouraged, one day at a time you get better and better, and forget the diets, the workouts (10 mins a day) is all you need.
I think you're having a "one of those days" moment, I have them too, when I need to rant and let stuff off my chest, but you look GREAT at 52, I would not be able to guess your age, and if you keep fitness as a part of your life, it turns the life clock backwards and improves your mood.
You're really lucky to enjoy your job more than most people, lol. Honestly...dating in the current climate sucks, sucks for old, young, tall, short, curvy, thin...it just sucks to be out there where Tucker Max is well known to frat boys for the past 10 years.
I would say try a workout you like, like swimming, it's the best and my 12 year old niece LOVES it though she won't lift weights with me, that's MY passion.
Once you find something you like, it will relax you, help with confidence and hello! You're a woman, you're sexy by default. No downing yourself ever. We all get the cellulite and stretch marks at some point but even then we're beautiful because that's what makes us women.
Think of Queen Latifah, she's a curvy woman and bonafide covergirl, she owns her body, she loves her body. And the first step to achieving your goals physically is to love every part of who you are now. I know you do and it's just one of those days, but we need a reminder. It's completely not you, it's just the current state of affairs. I'm happily uncoupled myself. Been that way this entire year. Very infrequent dates but I meet some nice vanilla boys for outdoorsy fun and goofing around. I would suggest a meetup group so the pressure is off and people can get to know you for you.
Honestly the best way I have found dating works is to friendzone people and one day things just happen. Dating at any age for me...sucks. I'm used to my 10 year cocoon, lol. It was wonderful, he was wonderful...so were my playmates along the way. And now finding someone who comes remotely close to that is a challenge(AAAAHHHHH!!! <sums up my experience). He got old (almost 20 years your senior) so we decided parting was for the best.
I miss him but I knew the uncollaring was best for us both. It was time to let go. And time does fly, love every second of it by doing
things you enjoy, no matter how solitary or nerdy. (I have nerd hobbies). Or find someone in a meetup group who shares them, also a pretty rad idea. Or travel is always a nice way to meet some hot exotic guys. (wink wink!)



DaddySatyr -> RE: WTF is wrong with me? (10/14/2014 5:11:05 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha


quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr


Obviously, I wasn't on those dates but, if you'd like a male perspective ...

I don't expect a blow job or sex on a third date (although there have been times I wouldn't have said: "No") but, I do "expect" (please note the quotation marks) maybe some flirtatious behavior. If things are completely chaste ... if there's no indication of some future vo-di-oh-do-do, I start to get the feeling that the lady just isn't that into me and I may be wasting my time.

Now, leaving sex to the side and focusing on lifestyle type stuff: while I certainly don't look for submission by a third date, I look for little signs of submission. Example: If I mention that I really like your hair, when it's down and I think that purple is the sexiest color a lady can wear and that jeans should be just a bit snug to show off curves on a second date - I'm just talking in the course of conversation - if we get to date three and you're wearing work-out pants (think MC Hammer) and orange and the bun in your hair is so tight that your eyes are pulled open. I'm going to get the message.

If you're in those same pants and don't own anything purple but you're hair is falling about your shoulders, I'm in for a few more dates.

I am NOT saying that is the case. Like I said; I was not one of those third date guys. I was just trying to give an indication of what a fairly average guy might "expect" on a third date.







Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! ya feel me?


Holy passive aggressive batman!


Bullshit. There's nothing passive-aggressive about speaking one's mind.

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

Do femsubs really respond and like that? A dominant dropping hints and seeing if she picks it up and then obeys?

By third date there should be some chemistry. I wouldn't drop "hints" to a male sub what I want him to wear, I'd take him shopping and make him try stuff on and then buy it for him.

You like her hair down? Tell her to take out the hair clip. "And give it to me." Flirtatious control, a little sensual tension. By dropping hints, she is left to interpret..."well does he mean in general, but not on me? is he dropping a hint? Does he lack the confidence to be a little bit commanding but in a fun way? Is he waiting for one of those god awful checklists to come out?"

Nothing good EVER comes to hiding hopes/demands/commands/hints in conversation and then judging the other person by their ability to read between the lines - vanilla OR kink. Power exchange is subtle and sensual and so is flirtation. Combining the two makes sense, not just leaving ambiguous clues and hoping she catches on. That doesn't sound dominant at all.

Akasha



You're absolutely right! The third date, after no submission has been offered (ick) or shown, is the time for me to demand the hair clip. No wonder I spend so many Saturday nights alone. Oh, that's right. I don't!







Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?



Kaliko -> RE: WTF is wrong with me? (10/14/2014 5:12:19 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha


quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr


Obviously, I wasn't on those dates but, if you'd like a male perspective ...

I don't expect a blow job or sex on a third date (although there have been times I wouldn't have said: "No") but, I do "expect" (please note the quotation marks) maybe some flirtatious behavior. If things are completely chaste ... if there's no indication of some future vo-di-oh-do-do, I start to get the feeling that the lady just isn't that into me and I may be wasting my time.

Now, leaving sex to the side and focusing on lifestyle type stuff: while I certainly don't look for submission by a third date, I look for little signs of submission. Example: If I mention that I really like your hair, when it's down and I think that purple is the sexiest color a lady can wear and that jeans should be just a bit snug to show off curves on a second date - I'm just talking in the course of conversation - if we get to date three and you're wearing work-out pants (think MC Hammer) and orange and the bun in your hair is so tight that your eyes are pulled open. I'm going to get the message.

If you're in those same pants and don't own anything purple but you're hair is falling about your shoulders, I'm in for a few more dates.

I am NOT saying that is the case. Like I said; I was not one of those third date guys. I was just trying to give an indication of what a fairly average guy might "expect" on a third date.







Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! ya feel me?


Holy passive aggressive batman!

Do femsubs really respond and like that? A dominant dropping hints and seeing if she picks it up and then obeys?

By third date there should be some chemistry. I wouldn't drop "hints" to a male sub what I want him to wear, I'd take him shopping and make him try stuff on and then buy it for him.

You like her hair down? Tell her to take out the hair clip. "And give it to me." Flirtatious control, a little sensual tension. By dropping hints, she is left to interpret..."well does he mean in general, but not on me? is he dropping a hint? Does he lack the confidence to be a little bit commanding but in a fun way? Is he waiting for one of those god awful checklists to come out?"

Nothing good EVER comes to hiding hopes/demands/commands/hints in conversation and then judging the other person by their ability to read between the lines - vanilla OR kink. Power exchange is subtle and sensual and so is flirtation. Combining the two makes sense, not just leaving ambiguous clues and hoping she catches on. That doesn't sound dominant at all.

Akasha




When I was dating, if I was getting to know a man and wasn't paying any mind to what he was telling me he likes in a woman? Then I'm just not that into him. I believe it's a pretty good indicator, actually.





JstAnotherSub -> RE: WTF is wrong with me? (10/14/2014 5:22:21 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha


quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr


Obviously, I wasn't on those dates but, if you'd like a male perspective ...

I don't expect a blow job or sex on a third date (although there have been times I wouldn't have said: "No") but, I do "expect" (please note the quotation marks) maybe some flirtatious behavior. If things are completely chaste ... if there's no indication of some future vo-di-oh-do-do, I start to get the feeling that the lady just isn't that into me and I may be wasting my time.

Now, leaving sex to the side and focusing on lifestyle type stuff: while I certainly don't look for submission by a third date, I look for little signs of submission. Example: If I mention that I really like your hair, when it's down and I think that purple is the sexiest color a lady can wear and that jeans should be just a bit snug to show off curves on a second date - I'm just talking in the course of conversation - if we get to date three and you're wearing work-out pants (think MC Hammer) and orange and the bun in your hair is so tight that your eyes are pulled open. I'm going to get the message.

If you're in those same pants and don't own anything purple but you're hair is falling about your shoulders, I'm in for a few more dates.

I am NOT saying that is the case. Like I said; I was not one of those third date guys. I was just trying to give an indication of what a fairly average guy might "expect" on a third date.







Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! ya feel me?


Holy passive aggressive batman!

Do femsubs really respond and like that? A dominant dropping hints and seeing if she picks it up and then obeys?

By third date there should be some chemistry. I wouldn't drop "hints" to a male sub what I want him to wear, I'd take him shopping and make him try stuff on and then buy it for him.

You like her hair down? Tell her to take out the hair clip. "And give it to me." Flirtatious control, a little sensual tension. By dropping hints, she is left to interpret..."well does he mean in general, but not on me? is he dropping a hint? Does he lack the confidence to be a little bit commanding but in a fun way? Is he waiting for one of those god awful checklists to come out?"

Nothing good EVER comes to hiding hopes/demands/commands/hints in conversation and then judging the other person by their ability to read between the lines - vanilla OR kink. Power exchange is subtle and sensual and so is flirtation. Combining the two makes sense, not just leaving ambiguous clues and hoping she catches on. That doesn't sound dominant at all.

Akasha



I didn't see any passive aggressiveness in his reply. Perhaps you missed the part that these have been dates from POF. While I am hoping to find a domly type, and I dropped plenty of hints on my profile, I would laugh in the face of a man who did more than drop subtle hints for the first few dates. If he offered to take me shopping, I would run for the fucking hills.



JstAnotherSub -> RE: WTF is wrong with me? (10/14/2014 5:26:31 PM)

I am not old enough to take the water aerobics, etc. at the indoor pool here, but I am fat enough! Doctor wrote me an RX so I could use it. Because of recent shit going on im my life, it is going to take me another month to come up with the money (it aint much, $65 a year, but $65 might as well be $500 if ya aint got it). It is on the way home from work, and they are open 6 days a week. I am excited about getting started just in time for the holidays!



littleladybug -> RE: WTF is wrong with me? (10/14/2014 5:40:10 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub

I am not old enough to take the water aerobics, etc. at the indoor pool here, but I am fat enough! Doctor wrote me an RX so I could use it. Because of recent shit going on im my life, it is going to take me another month to come up with the money (it aint much, $65 a year, but $65 might as well be $500 if ya aint got it). It is on the way home from work, and they are open 6 days a week. I am excited about getting started just in time for the holidays!


Water aerobics can be a lot of fun, especially if you get into a class with a fun group of people.

As for "not being old enough", I did it years ago when I was in grad school after I hurt my hip in a car accident. Worked wonders.

ETA: Just re-read your post...did you mean that you literally aren't old enough, as in you couldn't get in without a doctor's referral due to your age??



L8bloomer -> RE: WTF is wrong with me? (10/14/2014 5:42:01 PM)

I had an entirely different take on the OP.

My impression is that you've become aware (dare I say starting to awaken) of how this life is finite and how there are aspects of your life that need to be fulfilled and haven't been for a while. I hesitate to say this because of others' skeptical view (and possibly your own) but I will anyway: your soul is speaking to you and you're hearing it.

Is there something wrong with you? I'd say it's more that there is something right about you for coming to these realizations.



JstAnotherSub -> RE: WTF is wrong with me? (10/14/2014 5:53:04 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: littleladybug



ETA: Just re-read your post...did you mean that you literally aren't old enough, as in you couldn't get in without a doctor's referral due to your age??


Yep, literally not old enough, you have to be 55.

quote:

I had an entirely different take on the OP.

My impression is that you've become aware (dare I say starting to awaken) of how this life is finite and how there are aspects of your life that need to be fulfilled and haven't been for a while. I hesitate to say this because of others' skeptical view (and possibly your own) but I will anyway: your soul is speaking to you and you're hearing it.

Is there something wrong with you? I'd say it's more that there is something right about you for coming to these realizations.

_____________________________


L8, you may be right about the soul speaking, I can hope anyhow!



littleladybug -> RE: WTF is wrong with me? (10/14/2014 6:08:52 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub

Yep, literally not old enough, you have to be 55.

quote:



The old people have all the fun... [:D]

Seriously though, it will probably be a very good thing for you.



DerangedUnit -> RE: WTF is wrong with me? (10/14/2014 6:09:15 PM)

Our 24 hour fitness has water arobic barbells and such available without a class... I usually just play in the pool but anyone is allowed to use the stuff im not sure about the class but if you dont mind doing it yourself or look online for exercise buddies to do it with a gym in your area might have them available too



Blonderfluff -> RE: WTF is wrong with me? (10/14/2014 6:10:20 PM)

JAS. I can soooo relate to your OP. My issue is mostly the age thing. I'm turning 50 in a few months. Fuck. Me.
It's not that I'm unhappy with the age. I'm healthy, and still relatively attractive. I just don't FEEL attractive. I'm not even really sure why. I don't go out much, mostly because being around a ton of people just...kinda pisses me off. I'm happier in yoga pants, in my lovely home, than being out just for the sake of "getting out there". Half the time, when I DO go out, I end up sitting there, thinking "I put mascara on for THIS???"

Then, there are times i have a blast. But it's not often.

I think maybe we are at that fated stage of "set in our ways". That's not always good. But it's not always bad, either. The thing here is...it's not making you happy.

I would try this. Don't go out and do the things you USED to do, when you were fucking someone just cuz you wanted to. Cuz when we do that now, it kinda just feels...lame.

Find new reasons to go out...fall festivals, wine tasting thingys...find a new "out there and still HOT" you

Congrats on the weight loss journey!!!! It's so awesome. ;)



Gauge -> RE: WTF is wrong with me? (10/14/2014 6:22:44 PM)

This is a fast reply.

You know I have had to make some radical changes during my life, some more radical than others. I dealt with insecurity problems, self-esteem problems and a whole laundry list of shit that just kept me out of enjoying my life. Two things that changed my life radically were getting comfortable in my own skin, and finally not giving a flying fiddlers fuck what anyone thought about me. It set me free from so much useless garbage, and it taught me a valuable lesson; I can be happy. I still struggle with depression, but when I stopped fighting that and accepted that it was not going away, and I would have to live with it for the rest of my life, it got a little easier to handle.

Frankly, you should think about every single word you wrote because you have the answers in them. Accept who you are, accept your body and everything that goes along with it... not saying that you cannot change yourself or your body, but unless you settle the fact that you are stuck with you, it simply will not get much easier. Once you get comfortable in your own skin, it makes it much easier to tell the world to go fuck itself and be the best you that you can be. Who cares what people think about you? They are going to think it anyway and there is nothing that you can do to stop that, so don't worry about it. How you perceive yourself is far more important than anyone's opinion of how you look, talk, act etc. I am bald, need to loose a few pounds, have a beard, earrings and a tattoo on my arm, if people look at me and judge me based on that, I don't give a shit, it is their loss.

It sounds like somewhere you stopped having fun with things, and that you thought the problem was you. Maybe there are some things that you should look at overall, but the important thing is that you need to have fun and stop worrying. Keep looking, but don't get upset that you haven't found the right one yet. Work on yourself and realize that if the men you date cannot accept who you are, then they weren't right for you in the first place, no need to force yourself into something that would fall apart anyway. Above all, be patient, I understand the concern you have, but patience will go a long, long way in helping you find what you seek.



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