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Some "Doms" on here are very serious... creep... - 10/16/2014 8:49:43 AM   
Poloboi234


Posts: 61
Joined: 5/29/2012
Status: offline 		Well, just a question.

Do you seem to get kind of "wild, crazy, insanely angry" for no reason "doms" on here if you email them? (Dom to Dom). I won't give you the persons name on the site (Doesn't matter, and I'm not a snitch). But I emailed him asking to chat with him about being a Dom to get some pointers. Just to see what was going on. I noticed on his profile he had a long essay on his info page about people on collarme (collarspace) being, "Flakes, and fakes and it isn't worth his time to be on here, blah blah blah", but I sent an alright email, some "Hey how are you?, and I'd love to talk, maybe you should sub for me sometimes" jokingly..

He took it the complete other way. I don't even know what way... came at me with some long angry post about us not being on the same "Dom level" and that I don't understand what the "Ancients have done to make him a Dom, and I got mine dominance from being picked on, and he got his from the Ancients of society, that he was born this way" and a whole bunch of "nuts and berries" stuff that I thought made no sense. I told him that "You get more bee's with honey, and if you're having trouble finding subs maybe you should be a sub for someone and hone your skills" ... which as you guessed wasn't quite well received...

I mean, Where do some of these doms get this stuff? Ancients, or like this stuff from the middle ages, or this fantasy stuff. I get it's role/play... but I get the vibe this guy truly believes it, Because all his responses back in our debate were about the "Ancients" and how you shouldn't dom other males because of the ancients or something or have sex with them (Which I don't, I try to be a Pro-domme, no sex, but to each his own). I don't know. It just sounded like pure hogwash, I mean, does he sell this to his subs? Do they believe his "divine right to rule" like a king or something?

Also, we had a debate on Alphas. I just told him (though we argued) that if he truly believes in "Alpha maleness" (which was his premise for him being born, dominant) that he can't forget the main rule of that world. An Alpha male, when he gets old, and isn't the leader of the pack (or while he's leader) will be challenged(probably defeated) by another, younger, stronger, Alpha male. The older male has two choices in that regard, he can either submit, or he can be killed and carted off (kicked out of the world, or decimated) that's the true rules of being an "Alpha" but he didn't want to acknowledge that, in fact he didn't even address the point, just started to kind of go wild and say, "Don't contact me again! ever!" I guess, for as brilliant as he was, or thought he was, logic made him loose out... but I love debating.

Where do some people come up with this stuff to just be a dom? Can't it just be, I've always been dominate and like to take control, hence I like BDSM? I mean... geez... (Just my thoughts, I'm probably wrong anyway, to each his own, no hard feelings)
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Some "Doms" on here are very serious... c... - 10/16/2014 8:53:21 AM   
Poloboi234


Posts: 61
Joined: 5/29/2012
Status: offline 		Also sorry for spelling and grammar. wrote this in a rush.

(in reply to Poloboi234)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Some "Doms" on here are very serious... c... - 10/16/2014 8:55:56 AM   
KYsissy


Posts: 781
Joined: 5/12/2005
Status: offline 		Wingnuts are everywhere.

_____________________________

"If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went."
Will Rogers, 1897-1935

(in reply to Poloboi234)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Some "Doms" on here are very serious... c... - 10/16/2014 9:08:22 AM   
lilponytail


Posts: 6
Joined: 10/7/2014
Status: offline 		It is the Internet. It's even funnier than reality.

(in reply to KYsissy)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Some "Doms" on here are very serious... c... - 10/16/2014 9:10:08 AM   
orgasmdenial12


Posts: 613
Joined: 9/18/2012
Status: offline 		So you saw that he was angry, bitter and paranoid on his profile.

You messaged him anyway and now you are wondering why he was angry, bitter and paranoid with you?

The reality is that most people on here are not fakes and flakes so anyone accusing them of being so is likely to lump you into their imaginary category also.

This is the reason I never communicate with people who attack and complain about others on their profiles, because they are likely to display the same behaviour with me.

(in reply to Poloboi234)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Some "Doms" on here are very serious... c... - 10/16/2014 9:13:18 AM   
freedomdwarf1


Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
Status: offline 		Most people do not like to be messaged from people they don't know who do not fit what they are seeking - on here or anywhere else for that matter.
Basically, it's just rude and presumptuous and usually unwarranted.

As a Dom myself, I seek slaves; so to get a PM from another Dom/me (unless I know them from here), I would delete, block and ignore them.
As for getting pointers and info, this is what the discussion forums are for - not PM's, unless invited.

But, as KY said, there are wingnuts and asshats everywhere.


_____________________________

“If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.”
George Orwell, 1903-1950


(in reply to Poloboi234)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Some "Doms" on here are very serious... c... - 10/16/2014 10:12:02 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Well, just a question.

Do you seem to get kind of "wild, crazy, insanely angry" for no reason "doms" on here if you email them? (Dom to Dom). I won't give you the persons name on the site (Doesn't matter, and I'm not a snitch). But I emailed him asking to chat with him about being a Dom to get some pointers. Just to see what was going on. I noticed on his profile he had a long essay on his info page about people on collarme (collarspace) being, "Flakes, and fakes and it isn't worth his time to be on here, blah blah blah", but I sent an alright email, some "Hey how are you?, and I'd love to talk, maybe you should sub for me sometimes" jokingly..

I've chatted with several, Dom, sub, and switch, about the lifestyle and to swap ideas.

If he had a long, pointless rant that made you have less respect for him, then why ask for pointers? Ask from people you respect.

That "maybe you should sub for me sometimes" would have raised flags for me. I do not have a relationship with you, and don't sub. If I could tell it was joking, I would joke back. But I don't see any joking mentioned.

He took it the complete other way. I don't even know what way... came at me with some long angry post about us not being on the same "Dom level" and that I don't understand what the "Ancients have done to make him a Dom, and I got mine dominance from being picked on, and he got his from the Ancients of society, that he was born this way" and a whole bunch of "nuts and berries" stuff that I thought made no sense. I told him that "You get more bee's with honey, and if you're having trouble finding subs maybe you should be a sub for someone and hone your skills" ... which as you guessed wasn't quite well received...

I mean, Where do some of these doms get this stuff? Ancients, or like this stuff from the middle ages, or this fantasy stuff. I get it's role/play... but I get the vibe this guy truly believes it, Because all his responses back in our debate were about the "Ancients" and how you shouldn't dom other males because of the ancients or something or have sex with them (Which I don't, I try to be a Pro-domme, no sex, but to each his own). I don't know. It just sounded like pure hogwash, I mean, does he sell this to his subs? Do they believe his "divine right to rule" like a king or something?

I'm having a very hard time following this. Are you saying that he was Leather or Old Guard, and got pissed because you were not following those protocols? If so, that is NOT role play and he would have been very steamed that you thought so. Protocol is NOT the same thing as role play.

BTW, you are physically incapable of being a pro Domme. Sorry, women only. If you are in fact a pro, why doesn't your profile reflect that?

Also, we had a debate on Alphas. I just told him (though we argued) that if he truly believes in "Alpha maleness" (which was his premise for him being born, dominant) that he can't forget the main rule of that world. An Alpha male, when he gets old, and isn't the leader of the pack (or while he's leader) will be challenged(probably defeated) by another, younger, stronger, Alpha male. The older male has two choices in that regard, he can either submit, or he can be killed and carted off (kicked out of the world, or decimated) that's the true rules of being an "Alpha" but he didn't want to acknowledge that, in fact he didn't even address the point, just started to kind of go wild and say, "Don't contact me again! ever!" I guess, for as brilliant as he was, or thought he was, logic made him loose out... but I love debating.

Where do some people come up with this stuff to just be a dom? Can't it just be, I've always been dominate and like to take control, hence I like BDSM? I mean... geez... (Just my thoughts, I'm probably wrong anyway, to each his own, no hard feelings)

Again, if you were talking with someone who followed Leather or Old Guard protocols, your argument based on physical conditioning is inapplicable. Respect is earned over a lifetime.

So, let me sum up. You contacted a stranger whose profile you didn't respect, proposed jokingly that he might be subbing to you, and got into an argument with him that you evidently didn't follow. Then you posted here about how silly he was.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to freedomdwarf1)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Some "Doms" on here are very serious... c... - 10/16/2014 3:46:54 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		From the other pov, if some total stranger wrote me and said I had to dom him, I'd be pretty pissed too.
The only person who gets to determine my orientation is me.

If this stranger refused to listen when I declined and pressed me about it, I'd be pretty fucking annoyed. Maybe it was meant as a joke but conveying humor in a text only medium is quite difficult. I'm guessing that the op didn't do it well enough that the dom knew it was a joke.

As far as this is just role play, it may be that to the op. But for a lot of us it's how we live our lives. We cede authority, or assume authority over someone else who is happy for us to do so.

And I'm assuming that when the op says ancients, she's referring to the Old Guard, post WWII leathermen who risked imprisonment to be their authentic selves.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Some "Doms" on here are very serious... c... - 10/16/2014 5:06:06 PM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline 		OP, irrespective of D/s protocol, you broke common etiquette. You did not joke about a neutral subject with a total stranger to whom you are a total stranger, and with whom you are not in any sort of relationship dynamic. Your comment was insulting, which is why it was taken as such, and your message may have come across as being creepy and not the other way around.

Btw, your user name has "boi" contained in it, which is a subbly term. You may want to register under a different user name considering that you are presenting as a Dom.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to Poloboi234)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Some "Doms" on here are very serious... c... - 10/16/2014 5:53:02 PM   
DaddySatyr


Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lilponytail

It is the Internet. It's even funnier than reality.


Mark Twain (I LOVE quoting him) once said: "Of course truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense!"

To the OP:

I think you have to realize that people react to different things, differently. Had you messaged me, like that, I would have fucked with your head a little bit ("Have you read my entire profile AND journal posts? Oh! You have? Okay. Do you prefer a hot steamy load in your ass or in your mouth?" Along those lines).

Some people will get upset at the mere suggestion that they are mis-identifying. Some people get all twisted up with "protocol"; forgetting that their kink/lifestyle is not everyone's.

Just take it easy and pick your "battles" a bit more wisely. Someone above me said that you shouldn't message people on the other side without being invited but, I don't completely buy into that. I will say that if you're looking for help/advice, starting off with a joke of the nature that you did, probably isn't your best bet.

Having typed that last paragraph, if you need to bounce some ideas off of someone, my inbox is available.



Peace,



Michael







Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

_____________________________

A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

(in reply to lilponytail)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Some "Doms" on here are very serious... c... - 10/16/2014 10:35:57 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

And I'm assuming that when the op says ancients, she's referring to the Old Guard, post WWII leathermen who risked imprisonment to be their authentic selves.


The OP is a gay man. I dunno if that makes any difference for the purpose of this discussion, but I'm mentioning it.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Some "Doms" on here are very serious... c... - 10/17/2014 3:14:32 AM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline 		Hey OP, yes there are a few pretty sad folk out there who, lacking any introspection whatsoever, get all ranty and upset about "flakes, fakes and wannabes".

You plainly encountered one of the delusional saddos that lurk in places like this. "From the ancients" - bless his pathetic little soul!

That said, if I got an email out of the blue from someone I'd never had any interaction with that said "Hey how are you?, and I'd love to talk, maybe you should sub for me sometimes", I'd block and delete in 99% of cases. If you caught me in an excellent mood I might reply saying "In your dreams, sunshine", or if you caught me in a really grumpy mood I'd say "fuck off". But generally, I simply ignore pointless emails from strangers.

_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to Poloboi234)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Some "Doms" on here are very serious... c... - 10/17/2014 12:52:31 PM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

The OP is a gay man. I dunno if that makes any difference for the purpose of this discussion, but I'm mentioning it.

You're right, upon reading profile text. He doesn't list it in the sexual orientation field (stats).

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Some "Doms" on here are very serious... c... - 10/17/2014 3:39:40 PM   
RockaRolla


Posts: 1153
Joined: 1/20/2014
From: South Florida
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven
BTW, you are physically incapable of being a pro Domme. Sorry, women only. If you are in fact a pro, why doesn't your profile reflect that?


Based on some of that context I got the impression that OP thought pro-dom/me meant simply that there was no sex involved. OP, if my interpretation if your reasoning is correct this is not the case.

Also the other comments touch on something that's been a thorn in my side lately. If you ruffle someone's feathers with an attempt at humor, especially when that humor is outside certain rules of etiquette relevant to your setting, you can't really turn around and get upset when the person responds negatively.

If you step on someone's foot, your apologize and get off said foot. Doesn't matter if it's unintentional.
You DON'T step on someone's foot and get pissy when they yell at you for stomping on their toes.

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Some "Doms" on here are very serious... c... - 10/17/2014 7:35:03 PM   
Poloboi234


Posts: 61
Joined: 5/29/2012
Status: offline 		Well, to those whom responded. Point well taken.

Also, not a gay man, or anything of the sort. I think I'm Asexual... but if the time arises I'll get some snatch from a woman. Being a "Dom" is something that intrigues me, I like to meet the people and the psychology of it all. Sex isn't an option, and sex won't ever happen. I try to be a "Pro-Dom" as they say. Which I think encompasses me to a T.

I was out of line( I guess?), but it's "Dom to Dom" so to speak. I think we can be a little, 'tongue and cheek' to each other. All the things he was talking about, truly did creep me out. I mean, "The ancients" then insulting me, and that we aren't on the same "level" or implying that if I were to sleep with my subs (male) that I was somehow not a "man". Though I don't and haven't and won't ever sleep with anyone (really freaked on diseases and STD's), plus there is no desire too. I thought being a "Pro" meant you didn't engage in sex which I let the person know.. which I do think ruffled his feathers. He was the type that doms people to basically "fuck them" in the guise of being a "dom" as he was looking for random people in his area... so it is what it is. To each his own.

I know this website has weirdo's and creeps. Didn't realize how weird, or how creepy. If you can't leave this world of "make believe" (yes it is make believe in the sense you can't do it in public, or assert that way in public) to have a chat, then it is what it is. We had a verbal sparring match. I think I won, but in the end we both lost. I still had respect for the person. I just found his response to make no sense. Telling me about "ancients" with no context or to even let me know which context, then sitting back superior just seemed stupid. Just dumb, in all manners and respects. It is what it is. I still stand by my "Alpha rules" that he couldn't dispute. It is what it is,


I must be the weird one on here, whenever I say, "it's non-sexual" many people on collarme, and subs or women that email me get upset. If i just wanted to get some pussy I wouldn't have to come here to do it, I'm not that pathetic (as I felt the guy kind of was, though he must of been of the highest order). It's simple to go out and find some pussy to slay... a lot harder to not give in to it. and dom the broad anyway... great to break a man's will, then build it up again as well.Just how I feel about the entire thing. Again I'm Asexual, or just a prude. I like S/M and the dynamics... If I was gay or pansexual, or a voyeur, etc... wouldn't this be the place to express it? I mean, if anywhere was the place to discuss my sexuality or sex or anything, I think collarme is the place I'd be honest. I mean, as if anyone here knows whom I really am? or vice versa. It is what it is... I still think he was a douche... a weird douche... but he's from the "Baby boomer" generation, so what do I expect? shoot me...

(in reply to RockaRolla)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Some "Doms" on here are very serious... c... - 10/17/2014 7:43:49 PM   
DaddySatyr


Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline
Carnegie would NOT be proud.

" ... in the guise of being a 'dom'"?

"I know this website has weirdoes and creeps"?

"If i just wanted to get some pussy I wouldn't have to come here to do it, I'm not that pathetic"?

"I still think he was a douche... a weird douche... but he's from the "Baby boomer" generation, so what do I expect? shoot me... "

OP: Are you absolutely sure there aren't a few more groups of people you wish to lash out at?







Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

_____________________________

A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

(in reply to Poloboi234)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Some "Doms" on here are very serious... c... - 10/17/2014 8:02:49 PM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Poloboi234
I was out of line( I guess?),


No guessing about it, you were out of line. Would you walk up to a stranger in a bar and make a similar remark?



quote:



but it's "Dom to Dom" so to speak. I think we can be a little, 'tongue and cheek' to each other.


It's primarily "total stranger to total stranger" at this point. People I know a little can be tongue in cheek with me, strangers can fuck right off.

quote:



All the things he was talking about, truly did creep me out. I mean, "The ancients" then insulting me, and that we aren't on the same "level" or implying that if I were to sleep with my subs (male) that I was somehow not a "man". Though I don't and haven't and won't ever sleep with anyone (really freaked on diseases and STD's), plus there is no desire too. I thought being a "Pro" meant you didn't engage in sex which I let the person know.. which I do think ruffled his feathers. He was the type that doms people to basically "fuck them" in the guise of being a "dom" as he was looking for random people in his area... so it is what it is. To each his own.

I know this website has weirdo's and creeps. Didn't realize how weird, or how creepy.

Oh there are creeps a-plenty, and it seems very likely that you met one of them.

quote:



If you can't leave this world of "make believe" (yes it is make believe in the sense you can't do it in public, or assert that way in public) to have a chat, then it is what it is.


Hmm... nah, this isn't true at all for a pretty significant number of people, and probably a very significant number of the people that post frequently here.

Sure, there may be elements of fantasy/roleplay, but rather a lot of people would say that kink is a very real and ever present part of their lives.

quote:




We had a verbal sparring match. I think I won, but in the end we both lost. I still had respect for the person. I just found his response to make no sense. Telling me about "ancients" with no context or to even let me know which context, then sitting back superior just seemed stupid. Just dumb, in all manners and respects. It is what it is. I still stand by my "Alpha rules" that he couldn't dispute. It is what it is,


What the fuck? "Alpha Rules"??? What on earth are these alpha rules, and how come their yours?

quote:



I must be the weird one on here, whenever I say, "it's non-sexual" many people on collarme, and subs or women that email me get upset. If i just wanted to get some pussy I wouldn't have to come here to do it, I'm not that pathetic (as I felt the guy kind of was, though he must of been of the highest order). It's simple to go out and find some pussy to slay... a lot harder to not give in to it. and dom the broad anyway... great to break a man's will, then build it up again as well.Just how I feel about the entire thing. Again I'm Asexual, or just a prude. I like S/M and the dynamics... If I was gay or pansexual, or a voyeur, etc... wouldn't this be the place to express it? I mean, if anywhere was the place to discuss my sexuality or sex or anything, I think collarme is the place I'd be honest.


To be honest, I am beginning to get an "odd" vibe from you... You know that thing I said about people lacking introspection in my first reply? Could you read it carefully and reflect on it in the context of you?

quote:


I mean, as if anyone here knows whom I really am? or vice versa. It is what it is... I still think he was a douche... a weird douche... but he's from the "Baby boomer" generation, so what do I expect? shoot me...


So.... you make the point that no-one really knows who someone really is, then you make a pretty stupid generalisation about the baby boomer generation?

I think you're starting to paint a fairly clear picture of who you are; not an overly flattering one, mind you.

_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to Poloboi234)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Some "Doms" on here are very serious... c... - 10/17/2014 8:19:29 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven


quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

And I'm assuming that when the op says ancients, she's referring to the Old Guard, post WWII leathermen who risked imprisonment to be their authentic selves.


The OP is a gay man. I dunno if that makes any difference for the purpose of this discussion, but I'm mentioning it.


Doesn't mean he knows the history. Lots of young gays don't.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Some "Doms" on here are very serious... c... - 10/17/2014 8:34:17 PM   
LittleGirlHeart


Posts: 1427
Joined: 4/4/2013
Status: offline 		I'd say someone has to much time on their ha ds to.get into am internet argument with someone.

_____________________________


We'll fight, not out of spite
For someone must stand up for what's right
'Cause where there's a man who has no voice
There ours shall go singing

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Some "Doms" on here are very serious... c... - 10/18/2014 6:25:12 AM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

OP, irrespective of D/s protocol, you broke common etiquette. You did not joke about a neutral subject with a total stranger to whom you are a total stranger, and with whom you are not in any sort of relationship dynamic. Your comment was insulting, which is why it was taken as such, and your message may have come across as being creepy and not the other way around.

Btw, your user name has "boi" contained in it, which is a subbly term. You may want to register under a different user name considering that you are presenting as a Dom.



I wondered about the name also and whether it had anything to do with the other doms response. I have seen it applied to lesbians and gay men but I think this is the first time I have ever seen a male top id that way. I did see a fem domme who's profile said she was seeking bois and then further down she went into a rant about why are all these gay boys messaging her. I tried to explain that she was getting messages from the people she said she wanted but it went right over her head.

< Message edited by thishereboi -- 10/18/2014 6:26:02 AM >

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert


This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi


(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 20
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