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RE: Alright, here is the way it was and is now - 10/24/2014 10:08:34 AM   
BamaD


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

quote:

ORIGINAL: BamaD
Canning and spanking are not at all the same thing.

Canning is spanking, just that one uses hands and the other uses cane.

The news today just made me so mad. A 60 yr old woman beat her 10 yr old grandchild in the public train until her umbrella broke into 2. A fuckin' umbrella broke into 2!!! And then lawyers were commenting that only through medical check up if the child sustain serious enough injuries can the grandma be charged. Wow! Of Course nobody intervene to save the child, because she has not broken any law, and by defending the child, the child may get a worst beating at home. Most of us are used to such brutal beatings growing up so we know and didn't interfere. It's pretty hard to change this when it's culturally acceptable to physically discipline your child. And many claim good results with high achieving children and good grades.

I only just learnt recently that the "spare the rod spoil the child" rule actually came from the stupid bible! Guess who I am blaming for this? I won't blame Christians. I am blaming whoever wrote the bible. I just think religion teaches ignorant things sometimes, like spare the rod spoil the child!


Canning, by it's nature causes injury, spanking does not.
Breaking an umbrella over a child is overkill by almost any standard.
A couple of pops on the bottom are a reminder of who is in charge.
Example
My son, like most kids, would on occasion create a disturbance when we would go out to eat.
After a couple of these outbursts I suggested that we go for a walk.
When we got outside I popped him on the bottom 3 or 4 times and told him what it was for.
After that he would start acting up, I would ask him if he wanted to go for a walk, and he would answer "no daddy, I'll be good"


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RE: Alright, here is the way it was and is now - 10/24/2014 10:21:15 AM   
mnottertail


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Status: offline 		Canning does not cause injury if the procedures are followed. USDA has tons of books on this.

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RE: Alright, here is the way it was and is now - 10/24/2014 12:17:29 PM   
eulero83


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ChrchofDrk

quote:

Personally, I belive that if you are unable to discipline your child without resorting to violence, that speaks to your lazy and poor parenting.


So you're saying my parents had poor and lazy parenting skills because my father took a military belt to my ass when I needed it? ... Kindly go fuck yourself. Thanks


if she didn't mean that than I'll tell you, your parents had poor lazy parenting skills

< Message edited by eulero83 -- 10/24/2014 12:20:58 PM >

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RE: Alright, here is the way it was and is now - 10/24/2014 12:24:28 PM   
MariaB


Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		I think I was a fairly strict mum. My eldest recently said, "I'm glad you were strict with us mum. I think I'm a better person for it". I didn't need to hit them to make them that way. I got hit on a lot when I was a kid and a lot of that hitting was undeserved. I was so much smaller than them. I couldn't defend myself and for that reason, I have never spanked my children.

I do hate some of this modern parenting stuff though; when we pander to a child's every need as though the child is some demi-god. Children can be naughty and they need consistent discipline in their lives. People who believe their child can do no wrong are fools.

I was partly brought up on the continent, in a country where us kids ate out late at night with the adults but we were expected to remain seated and be polite and we absolutely didn't interrupt other diners. Wer thought of it as a privilege and we felt all grown up. Nowadays you can go into a restaurant 9pm at night and someone else's kids endlessly disrupt your meal. It happened to us recently when a boy of about 5 years old did an aeroplane interpretation round our table for a good ten minutes. All the while, his parents, aunties and uncles and grandparents sat round the table next to us cooing over the new baby and paying no attention to what little Tommy was up to. Eventually my husband put his hand up and said to the boy, "STOP, that's enough now go and sit down". The child quickly and timidly returned to his seat at the table but the now outraged parents and relatives spent the rest of the evening spitting venom at us. Yep, we ruined their evening

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RE: Alright, here is the way it was and is now - 10/24/2014 2:47:06 PM   
calamitysandra


Posts: 1682
Joined: 3/17/2006
Status: offline 		I think I am on the same page as you, Maria.
I am not my childrens friend, I am their mother, and I take that job seriously.
There are clear rules and consequences for breaking the rules. They actually have a rather large amount of freedom and privileges, but there are corresponding expectations and responsibilities.
I think most importand is that they know that we will follow through on what we say. If somebody is busted gaming while he had no permission, well, then his computer is gone. We do not threaten, and then do not follow through. The thing is gone, and stays gone for a good while.
In our house, everybody has to do his/her part. For the boys that means we expect them to keep up with their schoolwork, get their household chores done, and keep their other commitments. I don't expect them to jump for joy, if it is their turn to clean the bathroom, I don't when it is mine, but I expect them to do it to the best of their ability.

They sure are not perfect, and who is, but so far it seems we are doing a rather good job, raising young men we can be very proud of.

It takes work to raise children, if you are not willing to put in the needed time, you are better of not accepting the job. But I can not see why spanking or other forms of violence and abuse, be it physical or mental, would be necessary to raise children.

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RE: Alright, here is the way it was and is now - 10/24/2014 3:10:22 PM   
DerangedUnit


Posts: 660
Joined: 2/23/2007
Status: offline 		Born in 1990 and I was beaten for looking at people wrong as a child, and took the paddle and the rub downs after at school because I was on scholarship and wouldn't be able to go to school if I didn't. All that taught me was to never again get in a situation, or mindset where I felt I "had" to do something.

I think it has more to do with the decline of the family unit(my second to last journal was about such) more than any particular style of parenting. Now you are taught your parents want you for money and it's a fuck fest of who can screw over whom more.

While immigrant families support each other and try to build up their kids and keep it in the family.

The mentality changed from my family is mine, to the government is my family and I have to support everyone and suckle off daddy's teat forever.


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RE: Alright, here is the way it was and is now - 10/24/2014 5:28:16 PM   
ChrchofDrk


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quote:

if she didn't mean that than I'll tell you, your parents had poor lazy parenting skills


and you can go fuck yourself too. Have a nice day

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RE: Alright, here is the way it was and is now - 10/24/2014 6:31:55 PM   
Edwynn


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And look at how well all this turned out for you and the OP. All I can say is that I hope that neither of you have kids.

All this spouting of "my daddy got whupped when he was a kid and my daddy whupped me when I was a kid, and that's good enough for my son, too" is no different than saying "my daddy's 8th grade education was good enough for him, good enough for me, and good enough for my kid, too."

Neither of my parents perfectly imitated their parents, and none of my parents' children perfectly imitated them, much to the credit of all all of them for thinking that things should be done differently and better than the current or previous generation. Even with all of their foibles and missteps along the way. The good things were passed along more, the bad things a lot less.

It's called evolution, for those who want to get caught up with the rest of nature.

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RE: Alright, here is the way it was and is now - 10/24/2014 6:51:34 PM   
Edwynn


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PS

And, let me guess; you guys don't still listen to the same crap you listened to when you were 15-25 yrs. at this late stage, blasting at volume, do you?




< Message edited by Edwynn -- 10/24/2014 6:58:28 PM >

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RE: Alright, here is the way it was and is now - 10/24/2014 7:00:55 PM   
Greta75


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ChrchofDrk
So you're saying my parents had poor and lazy parenting skills because my father took a military belt to my ass when I needed it? ... Kindly go fuck yourself. Thanks

They were either ignorant or lazy. Either one.
Knowledgable parents wouldn't think that strap to the ass is the solution to every problem.
My parents only knew one way, that the more the misbehavior, you got to hit the child harder and more. If it still doesn't work, it means you have not hit the child hard enough and do some more. That was their mentality. My mom reaction to like every misbehaving kid is that the parent never hit that child enough to slap some respect into the child, blah blah blah.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 10/24/2014 7:02:01 PM >

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RE: Alright, here is the way it was and is now - 10/24/2014 7:24:14 PM   
Moderator3


Posts: 3289
Status: offline 		It seems people are taking a few things in a personal manner, attributing what they may have experienced, and how another person not here to defend themselves, might have done things. It might help to step back and not make this a personal issue and project what others might be doing or have done. Parenting style is a touchy subject and I would hope this doesn't have to continue to be so personal.

Politics and religion are not the same thing as family dynamics and it strikes a cord that can be upsetting in a personal manner. Bringing up family members with personal attacks is a direction I think we can forgo for the rest of the thread.

Thank you

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RE: Alright, here is the way it was and is now - 10/24/2014 7:55:45 PM   
ChrchofDrk


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quote:

That was their mentality. My mom reaction to like every misbehaving kid is that the parent never hit that child enough to slap some respect into the child, blah blah blah


Obviously they were wrong since you demonstrate so little respect now ... and with that, I'm done. Have a nice day

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Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Alright, here is the way it was and is now - 10/24/2014 8:02:11 PM   
Moderator3


Posts: 3289
Status: offline 		I can understand the last swipe because everyone wants to have the last one. I don't care much for it, but it is what it is.

However that is the last one. I am sure you all can continue this without it becoming a part of the previous interaction.

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RE: Alright, here is the way it was and is now - 10/24/2014 9:07:06 PM   
punisher440


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Attachment (1)

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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Alright, here is the way it was and is now - 10/24/2014 9:12:52 PM   
Moderator3


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RE: Alright, here is the way it was and is now - 10/24/2014 9:23:51 PM   
HeartAndSoul31


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Status: offline 		Owls are cool. My grandmother collected them. What a great memory.

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Profile   Post #: 36
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