RE: Demandiing a collar back

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RE: Demandiing a collar back - 10/24/2014 10:58:57 AM

littleladybug

Posts: 1082
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quote:

ORIGINAL: HeartAndSoul31

I was not a walk in the park either so I will chalk it up as petty. I may have been a butthead a few times.

No doubt he feels that he deserves it after all the shit you put him through.

At least you walk away with the knowledge that you gave him some ajada.

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RE: Demandiing a collar back - 10/24/2014 11:02:34 AM

HeartAndSoul31

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THATS RIGHT SISTA!

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RE: Demandiing a collar back - 10/24/2014 11:14:25 AM

FieryOpal

Posts: 2821
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quote:

ORIGINAL: HeartAndSoul31

Makes A lot of sense. Thank you. Principle? There was none. LOL. You read me?

You're welcome, dear. And like littleladybug put so adroitly: "Until such time as he starts paying rent to be in the thoughts in your head, don't let him in there freely."

Since he sounds like a cheapskate, he probably does plan/planned on using it on his next sub. Also, this is a kind of trophy to him, like how serial rapist-killers keep mementos to relive their crimes. He's not giving it up.
(Sorry if that isn't much of a consolation.

)

Next time, leave no trophies behind! Hopefully your next Master will be a keeper.

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RE: Demandiing a collar back - 10/24/2014 11:32:39 AM

HeartAndSoul31

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Also, this is a kind of trophy to him, like how serial rapist-killers keep mementos to relive their crimes. He's not giving it up.

Now that just creeps me right out! Right in time for Halloween too.

< Message edited by HeartAndSoul31 -- 10/24/2014 11:35:10 AM >

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RE: Demandiing a collar back - 10/24/2014 3:31:26 PM

Greta75

Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ChrchofDrk

OMG Not a used collar! For shame! For shame! It's got another subbies epithelials all over it! ewwwwwww! ewwwww!

My opinion. Guess you're gonna live with resentment. Since he didn't voluntarily offer it. I doubt he wants to voluntarily give it back. Do you deserve it back? I don't think so. Write it off and be done with it

Live with resentment for getting a collar back that she paid for?

Yes she deserves it back, because the cheap dom can't even pay for his sub's collar, he doesn't deserve to keep the collar, she should get it back and burn it if she wants. Or offer it to another dom more worthy.

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RE: Demandiing a collar back - 10/24/2014 6:36:21 PM

HeartAndSoul31

Posts: 148
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChrchofDrk

OMG Not a used collar! For shame! For shame! It's got another subbies epithelials all over it! ewwwwwww! ewwwww!

My opinion. Guess you're gonna live with resentment. Since he didn't voluntarily offer it. I doubt he wants to voluntarily give it back. Do you deserve it back? I don't think so. Write it off and be done with it

Live with resentment for getting a collar back that she paid for?

Yes she deserves it back, because the cheap dom can't even pay for his sub's collar, he doesn't deserve to keep the collar, she should get it back and burn it if she wants. Or offer it to another dom more worthy.

Ha! It's ok Greta, it probably has more miles on it by now then a cheap flight. You are cute, keep that confidence.
I am not even kidding.
Here is a video for your enjoyment. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=7yg05svXp98

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RE: Demandiing a collar back - 10/24/2014 6:52:56 PM

quizzicalkitten

Posts: 312
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quote:

ORIGINAL: HeartAndSoul31

HUGE ASSHOLE. I will never see it. Frankly after some of the comments, why would I want it???????

I was not a walk in the park either so I will chalk it up as petty. I may have been a butthead a few times.

May it bring great happiness to the numerous who have had the honor of wearing MY STUFF.

If you have the reciet and hes refused to give it back you can report it as stolen.

Regardless if you want it or not, you can donate it to many charity auctions (I recommend bleaching it first before offering it though)

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RE: Demandiing a collar back - 10/24/2014 7:39:23 PM

HeartAndSoul31

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Oh my, I would not do that, even having receipt, which I do. Thank you for the pointer though.

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RE: Demandiing a collar back - 10/25/2014 2:36:06 AM

MissImmortalPain

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Okay....I read the question and I guess it seems like a good one but the same thing keeps running through my head as I read. The Disney song Let It Go. I understand that you had it made and that you paid for it but....it seems like there could be only two real reasons for wanting it back. 1. Your money, your jewelry, implying you never really had it made for him to begin with. Also implies that as far as the relationship went you were really thinking about you not him. In which case (just my opinion mind you) then you don't need it back. That is a shallow thing to do and it serves you right. 2. You actually want it back because you still have some issue with him and I don't mean one about money. Something in the back of your mind might be telling you that this little agreement is a way to stay in contact with him. That taking it back would be a nice way to hurt him (saying you can't have me or my jewelry, I hope you think about me all the time and it hurts)
As for why he wants it well....He could want it for memory. He could want it to use with someone. He could hope that it annoys you that he has it. My advice is still the song..Let It Go. Be the bigger person. If you want to feel better go out and have something new made that really is only for you. Don't give it to someone in future. Don't use it for play. Make it your "I'm a big girl and this thing makes me feel good" piece of jewelry. Put the past where it belongs and leave it there.

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RE: Demandiing a collar back - 10/25/2014 2:43:13 AM

Redhusky

Posts: 83
Joined: 7/2/2014
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you payed for it and you didnt give it as a gift to him
so it's yours and not hims
just say your going to charge a complaint to the cops that he's keeping something that belongs to you

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RE: Demandiing a collar back - 10/25/2014 8:32:09 AM

Bhruic

Posts: 985
Joined: 4/11/2012
From: Toronto, Canada
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quote:

ORIGINAL: HeartAndSoul31

I thought this might bring some interesting responses.

I was in a long term M/S relationship. It was not a live in situation and we only saw each other from time to time, but we talked almost every day.

It ended, awhile back now. It was for the best and I am good with it but there is one thing I resent.

I had a custom collar made, per his request. I paid for it. He did not.

Its my collar as far as I am concerned. It was kept in his possession but I want it back.

Thoughts? Any are welcome from either side of the kneel or other.

If it was prohibitively expensive, I could understand trying to get it back... but if not, then it kinda looks like you are trying to prolong the connection to him. Like the George Castanza "leave behind".

Since you have asked for it back and it sounds like he has declined, I would move on and call it a lesson learned.

< Message edited by Bhruic -- 10/25/2014 8:36:39 AM >

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RE: Demandiing a collar back - 10/26/2014 1:54:28 PM

DesFIP

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From: Apple County NY
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I would send him a copy of the receipt and request either return of the item or the cost incurred. And if not, I might threaten to take him to small claims court.

I wouldn't do it because it's too much trouble, but getting him worried would be a small bit of revenge, petty though it be.

However much it cost, you've learned an invaluable lesson for the future. If you buy it, it stays in your possession. If he wants to keep it, then he needs to fork out for it.

< Message edited by DesFIP -- 10/26/2014 1:56:27 PM >

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RE: Demandiing a collar back - 10/26/2014 2:57:31 PM

HeartAndSoul31

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I don't have the desire to stay in touch with him. It is not worth the aggravation, it was not hundreds of dollars.
I was very generous with him in many ways which wasn't like me. I generally expect the opposite. It was a valuable lesson. I will not be generous like that again. Alpha or Master to me also means Master of finances.

< Message edited by HeartAndSoul31 -- 10/26/2014 2:58:56 PM >

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RE: Demandiing a collar back - 10/26/2014 3:24:21 PM

ResidentSadist

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Either way, as a gentleman, I would give the collar back to you if you had paid for it. But it is an interesting situation in protocol conflict.

I don't know the details. Was it a play collar? Then it would seem it is yours to ask for.

Was it an ownership symbol? When you wore that collar, did you think of it as his collar around your neck? Doesn't matter who paid for it, its his collar and you have no rights to it.

If it wasn't his collar and you were wearing it, how did he end up with your collar in the first place?

Odd situation.

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RE: Demandiing a collar back - 10/26/2014 3:59:24 PM

HeartAndSoul31

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It was an ownership collar left in his possession and worn only in his presence. I had no need to have it with me so it was left in his care. I was never going to wear it otherwise. I am letting it go, in retrospect, if a master cares for you and wants ownership a collar should be purchased by him. It would hold more significant value to the sub, at least this one. He was a user not a gentleman. It's chalked up to a first and last bdsm experience. I had no idea what I was doing. I didn't even know the life existed.
It's all good. Thanks for all the feedback.

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RE: Demandiing a collar back - 10/26/2014 7:20:23 PM

GoddessManko

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From: Dante's Inferno
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quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

quote:

ORIGINAL: HeartAndSoul31

I do deserve it back in my mind. I paid for it. It was meant for me. It was not a gift to him. I have asked for it back.

....I really have no idea if it is being used on someone else.

Good riddance to your former 4sshat Master.

First rule of thumb. Anything any man wants you to acquire, regardless of whether it benefits the both of you, he should foot the bill for (and put his money where his mouth, the true test of a man's honorable intent).

You were doing your ex-Master a favor by procuring the collar yourself. He should have provided you with the means to do so. That was his responsibility.

Unless there is some special custom-ordering involved, I always make sure I have a new collar ready for my sub. I have never made my sub obtain his own collar and would not have dreamt of doing so.

Part of the psychology of being collared is for the s-type to know beyond the shadow of a doubt that this collar is "on loan" and should his or her actions warrant it, s/he can get uncollared. The collar rightfully belongs to the Master or Mistress, not to their sub, because it should have procured by the Dominant party to begin with. (I brought up custom-ordering because I don't require that but my sub may wish to have his name or pet name engraved upon it, and he can cover the cost. Haven't run into that situation yet, but obviously in such an event, the collar would not be reusable, which it shouldn't be anyway.)

On principle, you are entitled to get your collar returned to you. In reality, you may as well just kiss it goodbye and chalk this up to a learning experience.

[Edited to correct pronoun]

LOL Fiery's response tickles me to no end. But tell us how you REALLY feel. You're 100% right here,I'm really saddened by this because collaring is such a big deal for so many people and it should have been his gift to you, not vice versa. And he's the one who demanded it, it's not like it was your request. Honestly you are too nice, want me to tp his house for Halloween? *rolls up my sleeves*
Kidding but yea, it's yours in every sense of the word and some of those collars are really expensive so if this...PERSON has any integrity at all he should give it back, It's the extremely pathetically LEAST his undeserving so called Dommy self can do. Ugh...CONGRATULATIONS for severing those ties. DEFINITELY.

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