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RE: Would submissive women consider a relationship with... - 11/6/2014 11:19:04 AM

tj444

Posts: 7574
Joined: 3/7/2010
Status: offline

When I first set up my profile I was a sub but that changed (I did not have good experiences with male Doms so am no longer into someone else dominating me at all) and now I categorize myself as a switch, mostly cuz I don't fit the profile/fantasy ideal of what a Domme is (in a many sub man's mind) so I don't want to give the impression that is what I am about... while I like to wear sexy leather and all that, I am not into swinging whips, pain (not giving or getting) so those subs/switch males wouldn't be a good fit with me.. But I do want to "wear the pants" in any future relationship and want a man that is happy with that..

So for me the answer would be "Hell, yeah!!!"

eta- My first boyfriend was the submissive one, I did what I wanted, although at the time I/we knew nothing about bdsm and all that..

< Message edited by tj444 -- 11/6/2014 11:24:35 AM >

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Post #: 41

RE: Would submissive women consider a relationship with... - 11/6/2014 8:17:20 PM

SweetnStormySub

Posts: 74
Joined: 4/21/2012
From: Buckeye State
Status: offline

Fast reply ~

No, nyet, nada, nein, nil, null. I have tried but had less than stellar results. It's just not a good fit with my psyche. However, I have several dear friends who are male subs. I treasure their friendship and know trying a relationship would wreck things. I value their friendship too much to even go there.

(in reply to tj444)

Post #: 42

RE: Would submissive women consider a relationship with... - 11/14/2014 8:39:34 PM

Amy172

Posts: 9
Joined: 11/8/2014
Status: offline

That's quite a question! I think until recently I would have thought "No, it really needs to be D/s". Now I have no choice but to consider this question carefully. I married my Owner, he was the center of my universe. After several years he started to pull away. At first I thought he'd found another lover which, according to our agreement, was his right.

Then I found out the truth. He's been fighting his true nature for years, for my sake. He discovered he's actually submissive, and couldn't figure out how to tell me! We're now in the "ok, NOW what?" phase. There are a few things that are very clear. We're still crazy about each other, and he's still my best friend. I'm really, REALLY annoyed that it took him this long to tell me, but it won't end our marriage. I'm just giving him a very stern talking to about the value of trust and communication - which is what anyone in scene should be familiar with!

Anyway... we have no plans to divorce, separate or otherwise split. I honestly don't know where we'll go next - I'm sure it will be interesting. But I really do hope two submissive people can live happily together. We're certainly going to try!

< Message edited by Amy172 -- 11/14/2014 8:40:03 PM >

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Post #: 43

RE: Would submissive women consider a relationship with... - 11/20/2014 7:36:59 PM

InSilence

Posts: 8
Joined: 10/28/2014
Status: offline

direct reply to your opening question.... NO

(in reply to realsubmale100)

Post #: 44

RE: Would submissive women consider a relationship with... - 12/25/2014 3:39:10 AM

cuckcouplelinz

Posts: 14
Joined: 5/4/2012
Status: offline

From own experience (sub male is posting....) I can tell from some relations I have had, that it can work, if some parameters are fulfilled:

A) You are both the right partner for each other on vanilla side
B) YOU are able to submit fully to her DOM and/or Lovers if THEY want that
C) YOU are not expecting DOM/SAD from HER and YOU do not force HER into that

With this 3 points AND all the side effects, in obeying these points totally, you both could handle it.....

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 45

RE: Would submissive women consider a relationship with... - 12/25/2014 4:03:37 AM

matey15

Posts: 1
Joined: 3/13/2009
Status: offline

Why not!

Maybe this is the most long term ideal situation as long as both parties are open and honest about their needs.
Relationships are complicated and people change especially with age.

I was an Alpha Male with submissive feelings in my youth and looking back this is true of most males.
As I get older I have become more submissive not because I am weak and pathetic but because I am content with who I am.

(in reply to realsubmale100)

Post #: 46

RE: Would submissive women consider a relationship with... - 12/25/2014 6:18:49 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: matey15

Why not!

Maybe this is the most long term ideal situation as long as both parties are open and honest about their needs.
Relationships are complicated and people change especially with age.

I was an Alpha Male with submissive feelings in my youth and looking back this is true of most males.
As I get older I have become more submissive not because I am weak and pathetic but because I am content with who I am.

Excuse me, but I was not under that impression. Please cite a source that backs that up.

And welcome to the forums! Why did you wait over five years to post?

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

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Post #: 47

RE: Would submissive women consider a relationship with... - 12/25/2014 4:32:12 PM

seekingreality

Posts: 599
Joined: 8/11/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: realsubmale100

I have a profile aimed mainly at dominant women. However, would submissive or switch women consider a relationship with a sub male? This might mean they have to seek their needs as a sub elsewhere e.g. a Master.

Some do. That may mean they simply put that part of themselves on hold.

Basically, any permutation you can imagine, someone is doing it.

(in reply to realsubmale100)

Post #: 48

RE: Would submissive women consider a relationship with... - 2/2/2015 11:11:51 AM

LookieNoNookie

Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

quote:

ORIGINAL: matey15

Why not!

Maybe this is the most long term ideal situation as long as both parties are open and honest about their needs.
Relationships are complicated and people change especially with age.

I was an Alpha Male with submissive feelings in my youth and looking back this is true of most males.
As I get older I have become more submissive not because I am weak and pathetic but because I am content with who I am.

Excuse me, but I was not under that impression. Please cite a source that backs that up.

And welcome to the forums! Why did you wait over five years to post?

He had an old laptop...missing a few keys.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 49

RE: Would submissive women consider a relationship with... - 2/5/2015 5:39:28 PM

LovelyLittleToy

Posts: 4
Joined: 1/11/2015
Status: offline

I've learned to never say never. If I liked the guy, and thought we had potential to be a good match in most other area, sure, I'd give it a whirl.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 50

RE: Would submissive women consider a relationship with... - 2/5/2015 5:44:11 PM

LovelyLittleToy

Posts: 4
Joined: 1/11/2015
Status: offline

I know a few sub dudes in my local scene, and they are anything but passive! I was married to a man who was passive-aggressive and just resentful and angry at the world, and super controlling with his passivity. So, I don't equate submissive males with passivity, maybe that's why I'd be down for a shot at it.

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 51

RE: Would submissive women consider a relationship with... - 2/5/2015 5:44:24 PM

Kittenluv954

Posts: 237
Joined: 3/18/2014
Status: offline

i dont think so. it just doesnt match my thinking.

(in reply to tj444)

Post #: 52

RE: Would submissive women consider a relationship with... - 2/5/2015 7:13:23 PM

epiphiny43

Posts: 688
Joined: 10/20/2006
Status: offline

Folks who are a D/s role, not a fully realized human, will insist on finding a complimentary role. People who are open to all their own possibilities and open to all the surprises and complexity of others, will have relationships with People. If you have preconceived visions of who you will love and live with, you exclude all the other options life presents. As ANY review of kink sites shows, most people search fruitlessly for the exact thing they seek. And advice on relationships by a group who largely aren't In a relationship has a special quality? (Or is it, 'distance gives perspective'?)
Which isn't to say it's not far simpler to fall into a relationship the more compatible both sexual kink and D/s interests you share? As many of us simply won't find that match this life, you condemn yourself to 'settling' or you grow the fuck up and quit the delusional Hollywood chase for perfection and find satisfaction and grace doing what's possible. As a number of deep thinkers have observed, "Perfection is the enemy of (Substitute most any worthwhile goal)."
The question that people should be asking is not how matched are our kinks or whatever. It's do we feel better and are we better humans when with a certain person. Again, this isn't to say it's not really energizing to share complimentary kink and D/s interests and perceive the other as enlarging those possibilities.

Small example of. . . something. Ad in craigslist>Free last night. Guy's porn collection is discovered by the wife. It's a Good one. Kink, BDSM, etc. He's giving it away, she wants him to focus on the Lord. A bit of sexual incompatibility? It was the porn he was giving away, not the furniture and moving out?
We rarely understand what binds us to other human beings. Preconceiving only a select few possibilities and shutting eyes to all others seems a great recipe for a sadly diminished life. Drawing a map of country you haven't ever seen is insanity, promoted by endless Hollywood fantasy productions and much of what we are fed by our community and culture. BDSM culture is no different than the bridal fantasies young girls are raised on. Escape your delusions or live bounded by them.
Sub women insisting on controlling dom men might think on the current thread on how to dump a sub? A rich set of possibilities to consider. "Freedom through restraint" also implies giving control to someone who has an indeterminate sense of internal responsibility for the welfare of You. Which can become a bit problematic. A dilemma all submissives face.

(in reply to Kittenluv954)

Post #: 53

RE: Would submissive women consider a relationship with... - 2/6/2015 12:29:51 PM

wannapleez

Posts: 358
Joined: 1/26/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: orgasmdenial12

quote:

ORIGINAL: realsubmale100
would submissive or switch women consider a relationship with a sub male?

No.

So, basically what you're saying is that everyone who responded before you with a "yes, sometimes" is full of shit?

A tip: Read the thread, not just the OP. And then when you're ready to make your universal and definitive declaration, turn off the computer.

(in reply to orgasmdenial12)

Post #: 54

RE: Would submissive women consider a relationship with... - 2/26/2015 4:40:40 AM

tiggerspoohbear

Posts: 19141
Joined: 6/27/2010
Status: offline

Personally, I couldn't do it. I just don't have the mindset. However, if someone else can make it work, with honest & open communication, then go for it. Whatever flows your boat.

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Post #: 55

RE: Would submissive women consider a relationship with... - 2/26/2015 7:46:51 AM

camille65

Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: wannapleez

quote:

ORIGINAL: orgasmdenial12

quote:

ORIGINAL: realsubmale100
would submissive or switch women consider a relationship with a sub male?

No.

So, basically what you're saying is that everyone who responded before you with a "yes, sometimes" is full of shit?

A tip: Read the thread, not just the OP. And then when you're ready to make your universal and definitive declaration, turn off the computer.

I didn't get the feeling at all that saying no meant everyone else saying yes was full of shit.

For me, no. An unequivocal no to a sexual relationship with a sub male. Yes to a friendship unless he attempts to make me dominate him (which happens frequently to me), then I'm back to no. Do not try to put me in a false dichotomy just to fulfill your own kink needs please, otherwise I'm happy to be friends.

That in no way means I'm answering for anyone else, that wouldn't make any sense for me to do so. I can only answer for myself.

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Post #: 56

RE: Would submissive women consider a relationship with... - 4/27/2015 2:46:41 AM

JetOnly

Posts: 78
Joined: 11/6/2013
Status: offline

It depends on so many things
Any question like that the answer will be 'Some will, some wont'
But another question would be 'Would YOU be attracted to a submissive woman?'
And again it depends on your definition of submissive. I switch but I am in general not attracted to submissive personalities, it dosent work for me, but some subs have alpha personalities in real life so they may attract me

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 57

RE: Would submissive women consider a relationship with... - 4/27/2015 11:34:06 AM

preytolife

Posts: 138
Joined: 11/29/2010
From: LaLa Land
Status: offline

I'd consider it, depending on other factors. I couldn't deal with a male partner that was into being feminized or crossdressing but in theory I have considered having relationships with submissive men before. They'd need to have a strong sense of self though, and probably not be obsessed with fetish fulfillment. I have a strong personality and I wouldn't want someone to just kinda melt under that.

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Post #: 58

RE: Would submissive women consider a relationship with... - 5/4/2015 12:33:54 PM

AAkasha

Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

Have you considered removing the obnoxious cock shot from your profile?

You are probably not aware of how many relationship-minded femdoms you are turning off out of the gate with that.

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Post #: 59

RE: Would submissive women consider a relationship with... - 5/5/2015 12:11:42 PM

MoxieMcfly

Posts: 76
Joined: 3/26/2015
Status: offline

I think there are vanilla people who form this type of relationship all the time. Many people will be attracted to a person's outer personality, to discover the deeper desires are quite the opposite. The submissive doctor, lawyer, CEO who is submissive at home is practically an archetype or cliche. So it would not be uncommon for submissive women to fall in love with a submissive male, not knowing that the person has a different side to them.

I guess it depends on how the person is submissive as well. I am a motherly person who takes care of people. Some of my nurturing traits could benefit a dominant person or a submissive person. I am a responsible person. That can involve being responsible for a submissive or for specific responsibilities that a dominant delegates. I think it really is more about negotiation on a case by case basis.

But I also think the people who have made arguments for polyamory and open relationships have also made good points. :)

(in reply to AAkasha)

Post #: 60

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