Why are many mistresses in such an aggressive hurry to meet? (Full Version)

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ItalianStallion -> Why are many mistresses in such an aggressive hurry to meet? (10/27/2014 3:11:05 AM)

I've seen this time and again... With all due respect... I want to get to know you first, and I want you to know what I have to offer before I lock my dick up in a chastity belt for you. Is that too much to ask?



FieryOpal -> RE: Why are many mistresses in such an aggressive hurry to meet? (10/27/2014 3:38:33 AM)

Which age group are you going after? Because mature women are not normally in a rush to lock you up into chastity. Also, I noticed in your switch profile that you are taking a poll on whether you should "serve women or dominate them." If you have to ask total strangers to decide this matter for you, then you are no Dominant, fella. You can still be a switch, and there's nothing wrong with that. You don't have to choose one side of the kneel or the other. This penchant that you have for chastity would be considered submissive. I see it starting out as a fetishy fantasy, and then once males get acclimated to this sort of lifestyle with a Keyholder Mistress (which many Dommes including myself are not into), I see it becoming an obsessive practice which is often abused, IMPO.

I have two sub friends who were doing this for just two years and now their equipment won't work properly. You might want to put some more thought into this, in case you want to have a family in the near future the natural way since you're not even 30 yet. Why bring on premature ED, whether it happens intentionally or not? Or play Russian roulette with your virility? The choice is yours. You can have orgasm control without using physical devices or contraptions, and I happen to think that T&D (Tease & Denial) is a lot more fun that way, and a better measure of *true* submission when it's done on the honor system.



ItalianStallion -> RE: Why are many mistresses in such an aggressive hurry to meet? (10/27/2014 3:48:43 AM)

Thanks for the reply! I realize I really need to update my photo. I'm 34, and uninterested in having more kids. Unfortunately, I am not really wired to straddle the line between Dom and Sub. Both excite me, but they do not excite me together. I take it to mean, then, that you feel sub is best for me, and best for women in general?



ItalianStallion -> RE: Why are many mistresses in such an aggressive hurry to meet? (10/27/2014 3:49:59 AM)

My profile was sub a short time ago, BTW.



FieryOpal -> RE: Why are many mistresses in such an aggressive hurry to meet? (10/27/2014 4:05:07 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ItalianStallion

I take it to mean, then, that you feel sub is best for me, and best for women in general?

There's nobody else who can decide that for you but yourself. If you were inclined to be a Dom, you would know you were Dominant and wouldn't have to ask others; therefore, by default, that would lean towards having submissive tendencies. But you may find that sometimes you enjoy bottoming and at other times Topping and are simply a kinkster. You are assuming that what you do (BDSM) is the same as what you are (D/s), and that isn't the case with lots of folks. In this lifestyle, you don't have to choose one or the other, is the whole point. It isn't a black or white proposition, and there are many shades of grey. You may find you don't get into sado-masochism (or that you do), and there's no requirement for this, or for doing edge play or impact play, or any of that.

There are couples who are into just bondage or mental domination, some incorporate discipline without S&M. You don't need to fit into a neat little mold, and until you meet your primary partner, you won't know how you will feel with that woman or whether she will be Dominant, submissive, or a S/switch. Give it time, meet other BDSMers at local munches and make friends.

ETA: You don't have your Interests List filled out, so other than chastity, I can't tell what your other kinks and/or fetishes are. And even then, some activities can be ambiguous in terms of giving & receiving.



ItalianStallion -> RE: Why are many mistresses in such an aggressive hurry to meet? (10/27/2014 4:27:49 AM)

Thanks again. My profile is one of the oldest on here. It is a project I need to tackle when I have time. I would really like to Dom and bring out my aggressive side one day, bit I have strong beliefs in female supremacy, and its been ingrained in me that women are to be served, and my place is to do that, not try to have sex with them.

I was a bit disturbed to find a lack of interest in chastity, however, among most dommes. I really can't put that feeling into words. But it was an overwhelmingly positive experience last I had served.

I don't really need a decision made for me, simply looking for opinions. And they come very much appreciated!



SpyUnderCover -> RE: Why are many mistresses in such an aggressive hurry to meet? (10/27/2014 11:05:37 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ItalianStallion

I've seen this time and again... With all due respect... I want to get to know you first, and I want you to know what I have to offer before I lock my dick up in a chastity belt for you. Is that too much to ask?


If I'm interested in a sub and I think he has potential, I like to meet him fairly soon after we've established contact. That's simply because a lot of guys will either chicken out when I suggest meeting, or are just playing around and have no real intention to meet in the first place. Proposing a meeting quickly keeps me from wasting a lot of time.

Having said that, I will also add that while I like to meet in person fairly quickly, I tend to move into domination somewhat slowly. I too want to get to know the person first.

Spy



Whippedboy -> RE: Why are many mistresses in such an aggressive hurry to meet? (10/27/2014 11:20:48 AM)

Well, there's a difference between meeting and locking your dick up in a cage.
Most of the first meeting are just that, coffee, lunch or something.
There is no dick locking unless you are meeting for a one time session.
If it's just a one time, no reason to know every single thing about a person. You're not going to get to every fetish in that situation anyway.



freedomdwarf1 -> RE: Why are many mistresses in such an aggressive hurry to meet? (10/27/2014 11:47:42 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ItalianStallion
I've seen this time and again... With all due respect... I want to get to know you first, and I want you to know what I have to offer before I lock my dick up in a chastity belt for you. Is that too much to ask?

As Whippedboy said, there's a world of difference between meeting and getting your dick locked up.
Meetings are usually casual just to get to know the person much better; which is exactly your point, was it not??
Moreover, more can be exchanged and learned in a 1 hour meeting over coffee than endless emails and chat over several months.
The one thing you cannot get from text/email are the sound of the voice, body language, unprompted reactions, inflections... yada yada yada.
That is why people in general would like to meet up and have a casual (non sexy) meeting - you get all of that and more when in a face-to-face meeting with someone.
And, surprisingly, emails tend to die off rather quickly when you haven't met the other person.


quote:

ORIGINAL: ItalianStallion
I take it to mean, then, that you feel sub is best for me, and best for women in general?

FieryOpal gave a good response to this.
Personally, I would say you are a kinkster and definitely not a dominant.
But as she says, whatever floats your boat; only you can decide that for yourself, nobody else.


quote:

ORIGINAL: ItalianStallion
...I have strong beliefs in female supremacy, and its been ingrained in me that women are to be served, and my place is to do that, not try to have sex with them.

Do you not think that service also (and usually) involves sex??
Unless you are very strictly a service-only person, serving women would also involve something sexual.




ItalianStallion -> RE: Why are many mistresses in such an aggressive hurry to meet? (10/27/2014 12:42:44 PM)

All great points. What inspired my OP was an incident on Fetlife a few months back. A very aggressive Domme initiated contact, demanded about 20 photos from every angle, and wanted to meet all within the span of an hour of talking. That's simply moving too quickly for me. I prefer to build friendships online and then go from there. And yes, I have had demands to bring my chastity device to a meeting that sometimes occurs within a week of initial contact. Perhaps a merely got a few bad apples. *shrugs*.



ItalianStallion -> RE: Why are many mistresses in such an aggressive hurry to meet? (10/27/2014 12:44:24 PM)

BTW I appreciate all the replies on here. I abandoned this site over five years ago as it had completely died (still dead, I see) and was loaded with scam artists.



DarkSteven -> RE: Why are many mistresses in such an aggressive hurry to meet? (10/27/2014 1:44:56 PM)

Why are they in a hurry to meet?

Meeting and chastity are two different things. If they push chastity, I suspect they're shooting for some kind of finDomme work. There are so few Dommes interested in chastity compared to male subs, this just sounds fishy.




Mistressannalee -> RE: Why are many mistresses in such an aggressive hurry to meet? (10/27/2014 2:53:39 PM)

I am suprised that you think most Dommes are in a hurry to meet.
In my profile I suggest talking on the phone as opposed to endless chats.
That is IF I feel there is a connection then a phone call is the next step.
That usually weeds out 90% of the "subs" on here. I am not anxious to
meet. I think it is good to meet when I feel comfortable with the sub.
I think situation is not a common one. Good luck. Mistress



ItalianStallion -> RE: Why are many mistresses in such an aggressive hurry to meet? (10/27/2014 3:06:49 PM)

That's what I figured, Dark Steven. It must be.



ItalianStallion -> RE: Why are many mistresses in such an aggressive hurry to meet? (10/27/2014 3:08:18 PM)

As I realized earlier, I must have gotten a few bad apples. I am uncomfortable on the phone, but it does seem like a solid compromise



PeonForHer -> RE: Why are many mistresses in such an aggressive hurry to meet? (10/27/2014 3:40:22 PM)

quote:

A very aggressive Domme initiated contact, demanded about 20 photos from every angle, and wanted to meet all within the span of an hour of talking.


That would reek of 'bait 'n' switcher' to me. I had one come onto me like that as a 'lifestyler' and who told me in her second cmail that she wanted me to write out my deepest fantasy for her - though making no effort to get to know me or let me get to know her other than that. Then she moved swiftly to asking me 'when I'd like to book her for a session'. When I told her that this wasn't my thing, she told me that I wasn't a proper sub and shouldn't be using this site. Fairly standard in all themes, really.



Lynnxz -> RE: Why are many mistresses in such an aggressive hurry to meet? (10/27/2014 4:05:01 PM)

Wow.

Usually guys are complaining because no one wants to meet.




PeonForHer -> RE: Why are many mistresses in such an aggressive hurry to meet? (10/27/2014 4:50:36 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

Wow.

Usually guys are complaining because no one wants to meet.




Bait 'n' switchers generally want to make a warm and intimate relationship with a man's wallet as soon as they possibly can, Lynnxz. Human interaction can quickly turn into an impediment. Besides, they'll have frequently convinced themselves that men's apparent desire to get to know women in a human way is only BS, anyway, and that really all they want to do is shovel just enough warm 'n' cosy stuff at a woman to get her to agree to squelchy activities ASAP.



ItalianStallion -> RE: Why are many mistresses in such an aggressive hurry to meet? (10/27/2014 5:37:06 PM)

We are complaining because no one REAL wants to meet.



luxey2511 -> RE: Why are many mistresses in such an aggressive hurry to meet? (10/28/2014 9:31:01 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ItalianStallion

All great points. What inspired my OP was an incident on Fetlife a few months back. A very aggressive Domme initiated contact, demanded about 20 photos from every angle, and wanted to meet all within the span of an hour of talking. That's simply moving too quickly for me. I prefer to build friendships online and then go from there. And yes, I have had demands to bring my chastity device to a meeting that sometimes occurs within a week of initial contact. Perhaps a merely got a few bad apples. *shrugs*.

i'm curious, why not meet in person ASAP to see if there's chemistry. why drag it out online if you don't have to?



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