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RE: kind of a crossdresser - 12/5/2014 5:09:39 PM

MyDarkstar

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

Can I say this, and then you can narrow it down? Do you think part of your feeling that cross-dressing makes you feel more obedient have anything to do with a sexual humiliation fetish? Because it may be the humiliation fetish which motivates you.

It is most definitely the humiliation which motivates me. To me, it is a way for her to re-assert herself and her authority. She would be entertained by it and feel even stronger because it proves that she can get me to do anything, even sacrifice my dignity. She also enjoys it because it is a way for her to show how pathetic she regards me, and that the only reason she bothers to keep me around is simply to entertain herself. It's a trap, I will come to desire more humiliation because I know it is my only means to keep her interested, and so I know the more I feel the more she is interested.

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RE: kind of a crossdresser - 12/5/2014 5:41:00 PM

FieryOpal

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MyDarkstar

quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

Can I say this, and then you can narrow it down? Do you think part of your feeling that cross-dressing makes you feel more obedient have anything to do with a sexual humiliation fetish? Because it may be the humiliation fetish which motivates you.

It is most definitely the humiliation which motivates me. To me, it is a way for her to re-assert herself and her authority. She would be entertained by it and feel even stronger because it proves that she can get me to do anything, even sacrifice my dignity. She also enjoys it because it is a way for her to show how pathetic she regards me, and that the only reason she bothers to keep me around is simply to entertain herself. It's a trap, I will come to desire more humiliation because I know it is my only means to keep her interested, and so I know the more I feel the more she is interested.

Okay, I see. You are also into the degradation aspect of humiliation. Humiliation in itself does not automatically include degradation. Not all Dominants want to degrade their subs. In fact, I've heard Dominants say - and I can relate to this - they couldn't and wouldn't want to humiliate a sub they didn't respect. I should probably explain so as to not cause any confusion.

*Deep breath* The only way I could wrap my mind around sexually humiliating (but not with cross-dressing) my former husband, who wanted this, was because he could be arrogant and needed to learn a lesson or two in humility. On a regular basis. Without that critical element, I couldn't have pushed myself to do it. I also had another relationship where sexual humiliation (mentally & verbally, through name-calling) was involved. Physical actions included stuff like getting genitals shaved (while restrained), controlled and light face-slapping (more for the sting), hair and/or beard-pulling (for directional control), and a crossover from funishment with light spanking and ass play.

The point I was trying to get at is that there are other outlets, and cross-dressing is just one of them. For example, with spanking, the sub can be *made* to wear hot pink girly panties. In fact, this dynamic works best when the sub doesn't enjoy wearing the panties, what he's actually after is the humiliation in being made to wear them. Another example would be for the Mistress to have her sub match panty color. The fear of having it discovered at work (while using the urinal perhaps) by others that he is wearing a woman's thong or panties is part of the thrill, and there's that connection between Mistress and sub that they are wearing matching undergarments while they have to be apart.

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Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

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RE: kind of a crossdresser - 12/5/2014 6:56:52 PM

MyDarkstar

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

Another example would be for the Mistress to have her sub match panty color... there's that connection between Mistress and sub that they are wearing matching undergarments while they have to be apart.

oh, I do have to admit that is quite ingenious. I have never heard of that before.

I can say that would have an effect on me. It would definitely stay in the back of my mind during the time that I was away from her. It would also cause me to strive to entertain her and keep her interest next time we were to meet because if she were to lost interest then I would definitely have trouble thinking straight when she were to just send me away.

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RE: kind of a crossdresser - 12/5/2014 7:38:47 PM

FieryOpal

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From: Maryland
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MyDarkstar

oh, I do have to admit that is quite ingenious. I have never heard of that before.

I can say that would have an effect on me. It would definitely stay in the back of my mind during the time that I was away from her. It would also cause me to strive to entertain her and keep her interest next time we were to meet because if she were to lost interest then I would definitely have trouble thinking straight when she were to just send me away.

Thanks, it can take a little bit of planning the night before to decide which color to wear the next day. Some of us wimmens like to match our undergarments to our outfit, as well as our jewelry and other accessories.

When a former sub of mine had to be gone on a business trip to Hong Kong for 3 weeks, I also sent a couple of revealing pics to his cellphone (despite my tekkie learning curve) so he would be thinking about me and not looking at other women while he was away! We were texting throughout the day as it was, makes a great T&D tool, plus I gave instructions for him to follow. It's a rush to get unexpected, flirtatious "love notes" all day long. That way, you both have each other constantly on your minds.

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Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

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RE: kind of a crossdresser - 12/5/2014 8:19:40 PM

MyDarkstar

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So, FieryOpal - have you ever come across any other cases such as mine ? I feel like it is very different than the scenario(s) you were describing earlier. I'm interested in your opinion and feelings towards my case and description of how it works into my submission.

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RE: kind of a crossdresser - 12/5/2014 8:32:13 PM

FieryOpal

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From: Maryland
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MyDarkstar

So, FieryOpal - have you ever come across any other cases such as mine ? I feel like it is very different than the scenario(s) you were describing earlier. I'm interested in your opinion and feelings towards my case and description of how it works into my submission.

No, not directly. Nothing I can verify personally either with the two CDs who aren't sissies, since neither they nor their Mistresses are close friends of mine. The Domme in charge of our FemDom group, which I stopped attending last year, used to have a much younger sissyCD primary partner for many years. He was no longer with her, and I don't know what happened. I also don't know how intimate they were either, or the extent of their non-BDSM involvement.

Maybe (an)other Domme(s) can weigh in on that.

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Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

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RE: kind of a crossdresser - 12/5/2014 8:58:54 PM

MyDarkstar

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It's a very powerful tool to use. I've had it used on me twice. The first time it was it was the Domme who initiated it because she knew she could get me to do it if she would threaten to not see me anymore. The second time I found a Domme whom I badly wished to serve, but she already had two other subs and didn't want another. I was desperate enough to try to convince her by suggesting that I dress up for her, thinking if I could lower myself below the other two then she might have interest. She allowed me to see her once a month, but only if I would dress up. But like I said, the crux of it is that I need to continue lowering myself in order to keep her interest. I knew she wouldn't stay entertained forever. After three times she said she would only continue again if I would model in front of her and a friend. That's when I decided I needed to walk away.

Like you said, humiliation can be quite powerful.

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RE: kind of a crossdresser - 12/23/2014 3:54:56 AM

sissycdmiranda

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i love to cd and get pegged... embrace it

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