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Energy Vampires - 10/31/2014 8:32:07 AM

uksubmale31

Posts: 12
Joined: 10/7/2013
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I know it's not really bdsm related so apologies if it's in the wrong section but does anyone know what i mean by this?

I can meet some people and feel great but I can spend time with others and feel the life draining out of me.

It's mostly people I care about too so I feel guilty about it, but I sometimes need to spend a day in bed to recover after spending a few hours with someone who drains my energy

Is anyone else sensitive like this?

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RE: Energy Vampires - 10/31/2014 8:43:13 AM

GoddessManko

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Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
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Many people have the tendency to be that way, usually they are cynical, pessimistic, angry, bothersome, and just love love love to be loud and/or argue/complain 24/7. I avoid.
I think you need a timeout from people for a bit. Maybe find a new hobby or indulge in an old one. One that doesn't require you escaping solitude. Being content alone helps you handle those types of situations better.

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RE: Energy Vampires - 10/31/2014 8:46:55 AM

HeartAndSoul31

Posts: 148
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Time to get them to change the subject.

Yes, I have had that experience. Usually with takers, people who are very negative all the time, or sometimes people feeling bad about life in general.

Its good to be a shoulder to cry on when someone needs help but if you find someone constantly draining you with negative energy, don't do it at your own expense, cut it short or avoid it for your own health. ITs not worth it.

(in reply to uksubmale31)

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RE: Energy Vampires - 10/31/2014 8:56:03 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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People who are loud cause me to need to go into a quiet space and not interact with anyone for hours.

And even if they aren't doing this purposely, attention whores, drama llamas and such, I only have so much energy. If I use it all up on someone else, then I don't have any left for me.

IE the spoon theory. http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/

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RE: Energy Vampires - 10/31/2014 2:09:53 PM

AAkasha

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Joined: 11/27/2004
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Great examples so far. Especially as they relate to the vanilla world.

In the BDSM world, I find there are submissive types that fit into the category that are quite elusive and may not know they are being this way. They may view themselves as the most selfless people in the world.

What is draining to the femdom in the emotional sense are things like :

* the endless hints of, "am I doing ok? what do you need? what more do you want?" -- a little is ok - when it is excessive, this is seeking more orders or domination, or seeking affirmation and attention and it is exhausting. It's attention seeking.

* the dropping of hints about desires and fetishes and wants - especially when 'playtime' is ending, as signaled by the femdom. These "helpful suggestions" are best left for open discussion about desires and fantasies, not when the femdom is packing up her toolbox or has just had an orgasm. Learn timing and empathy. It is not all about you.

* Sulking, passive aggressive communication, hint dropping, or any non-direction communication - just stop. Don't do it. it's bullshit and belongs in high school. Subs do this way too much. They put "protocol" (that is in their head or in their fantasy) ABOVE direct communication and that often leads to miscues and confusion. So much "Well, I thought that...." -- If I had a nickle for every time there was a dispute over that phrase. Look, use direct communication, but be respectful. Plain and simple. Do not create work for your femdom prospect and/or lover or partner.

Akasha

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RE: Energy Vampires - 10/31/2014 2:19:25 PM

littleladybug

Posts: 1082
Joined: 5/30/2013
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

Great examples so far. Especially as they relate to the vanilla world.

In the BDSM world, I find there are submissive types that fit into the category that are quite elusive and may not know they are being this way. They may view themselves as the most selfless people in the world.

Now that you mention it.... I have met quite the many Dom that fit this bill as well.

In the BDSM world, more often than not, I have found self-proclaimed "Doms" and "Dommes" who feel that the world revolves completely around them. Guess what? Nope, it doesn't. And it gets freaking boring (at best) to listen to whining about how subs "don't get it".

Actually, the most draining people I have ever met are on the Dom side. I'm sure that no one here fits that bill...but such is my reality.

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RE: Energy Vampires - 10/31/2014 2:30:04 PM

LittleGirlHeart

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Yes. I know what you mean.

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There ours shall go singing

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