RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman

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Gauge -> RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman (11/6/2014 5:46:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Greta75 There is absolutely zero implication that all men are bad. I disagree, it is subtle and certainly not a focus, but it is there nonetheless. This is simply my opinion about what I saw. quote: Personally, I disagree with you that there is no solution to the problem. This video is to bring awareness how uncomfortable this makes a woman feel, in hope to bring attention to men who does it, how uncomplimentary it is, even if they think a female should be flattered by all that attention. My question to you would be, do men that do this sort of thing care if it makes someone uncomfortable? My answer would be no, because they disregard its affect on the women they make ovations to. While some may be flattered by the attention, I would probably say that it gets old quickly in direct proportion to the level of creepiness behind it... I have no way of knowing this because I am not a woman, so forgive the presumption. quote: But I feel that the result of this video, based on Youtube reaction, shows that, although many men who does not practice this bad behaviour, is wondering what's the big deal of that behaviour. I find the behavior juvenile and arrogant. I felt bad for the woman in the video. quote: It really shows that there are many men out there who really do not get what the issue is. Despite seeing the video. No doubt. I, however, do get it. quote: As to solution to this problem, they can either educate from ground up in schools that such behaviour is not acceptable. Sure, or, you know, it could come from the parents which would be a better solution... but that is the crotchety old man who screams "GET OFF MY LAWN" talking.[:)] quote: Or they can go hardcore and start prosecuting and make it a crime. When they make talking to someone, even if it is uninvited, a crime, I will quit humanity. How do you enforce such a thing? We don't need more laws, we need better behavior. Making it a crime will invite hypersensitive individuals to claim that just nodding at someone and saying "Hello" should be arrested or cited. How do you determine what would make it a crime? quote: Either of both solutions will have a good effect. I'd implement both solutions to stop this problem but ya know, for things to change, it starts with bringing awareness to a problem and then trying to convince people who don't think this is a problem, that IT IS a problem. Eventually, if somebody on top takes up the cause, something major could be implemented. You would be hard pressed to convince someone who doesn't think that this is a problem, that it is a problem. quote: At the moment, majority of men still do not see this as any problem at all, women should just suck it up and take it. That's my impression, majority of nice western men anyway. I certainly do not think that way. I am just struggling as to a viable solution that does not teeter on the edge of ridiculousness. Education, awareness etc. is fine, but even the anti-bullying movement has failed to prevent it. You can't legislate the stupidity out of people. quote: On top of that, men in NYC harrass men too, something is wrong with their upbringing! We could go on for hours about that topic alone.[:D] Look, everyone needs to relax a little, I am simply discussing this, I am not arguing. I don't know how many times I must say that I understood the message. I am just offering my opinion on something and people should know me by now and understand that I can see both sides of this. I don't want to upset anyone, really I don't.

sexyred1 -> RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman (11/6/2014 11:57:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub sexyred I hope you are doing well. As to this thread, it certainly did drift since I read yesterday. Purt near drifted off the fucking planet! Thank you!

Greta75 -> RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman (11/7/2014 1:41:07 AM)
Ugh! Another of my good male friend IRL is trivializing the video and saying it's fake, says his lived 6 mths in NYC and never saw this happening, his Brit! It's ridiculous! It boils down to 3 annoying opinions. 1) It's fake 2) What's the big deal? No rape, no assault, no molest 3) The women should be more gracious and accept those compliments instead of complaining about it, it would be worst to receive none and treated as invisible. Men are annoying!

Greta75 -> RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman (11/7/2014 1:47:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant Here Greta, read this before you start championing legislation in America. http://www.cotwa.info/2013/02/woman-jailed-after-11-false-rape-claims.html Women gets in trouble here for falsifying rape claims. There should be a central record where if a woman keeps claiming rape all the time with no solid evidence, she should be prosecuted too. Definitely at least a 6 months jail term for being a nuisance.

PeonForHer -> RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman (11/7/2014 3:02:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Greta75 Ugh! Another of my good male friend IRL is trivializing the video and saying it's fake, says his lived 6 mths in NYC and never saw this happening, his Brit! It's possible. It would happen much more to women who are walking on their own, presumably. Also, men might well just not be tuned in. I remember a time with my ex when she and I were walking through a 'good part' of town, when she suddenly spun round in utter fury and swore at a tramp. She wouldn't repeat to me what the man had said. I was astonished - I hadn't noticed a damned thing. We carried on walking. She was still shaking some ten minutes later.

PeonForHer -> RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman (11/7/2014 3:07:54 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Greta75 There is absolutely zero implication that all men are bad. quote: I disagree, it is subtle and certainly not a focus, but it is there nonetheless. This is simply my opinion about what I saw. I'll repeat: I didn't see that at all. Not one whit. I don't even think that was of any relevance in the video: it wasn't about the men or about men in general, it was about the woman's experiences - and the only real implications were about how women might feel in real life.

ExiledTyrant -> RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman (11/7/2014 3:21:07 AM)
Peon, what do you think the purpose of the video was? "10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman" 1:57 long. Perhaps the other 598.43 of the video was just to horrific to show.

PeonForHer -> RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman (11/7/2014 3:52:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant Peon, what do you think the purpose of the video was? "10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman" 1:57 long. Perhaps the other 598.43 of the video was just to horrific to show. I should think that a lot of the original footage wasn't of much use. Jeez, though: the scene of the bloke walking along next to her was sleazy and creepy enough on its own. Makes you wonder what could have happened had that woman been walking past that same man late at night and when the streets were deserted. I don't know, ET: this is ugly stuff.

SweetForDaddy -> RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman (11/7/2014 4:20:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant Peon, what do you think the purpose of the video was? "10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman" 1:57 long. Perhaps the other 598.43 of the video was just to horrific to show. It was 1:57 long because they needed it to be short and attention grabbing, it was meant to make a point. They could have shown all 100 instances and we have no idea if some footage was cut because of more offensive language that wasn't suitable for you tube. I don't assume that the rest of the time everything was a lovely jaunt. I doubt it would have made the video all that much longer but the one guy followed her for 5 minutes alone. Of course this is a small section of society and who is going to sit through 10 hours of watching someone walk in the street? We all know that nothing else happened the majority of the time. Even so, even if it was just 1:57 worth of this kind of behaviour that doesn't make it ok.

ExiledTyrant -> RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman (11/7/2014 4:37:24 AM)
Yes, and it clearly had the sensationalist effect intended; just read this thread. If the intent was to show chivalry, we would've seen 1:57 of men opening doors, catching her arm when she stumbled, helping her gather things she dropped, etc... It was for sensational effect and edited to emphasize the "theme" of the video. I've avoided the thread because I understood that the intent was to manipulate people into a mob mentality and it was a success.

PeonForHer -> RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman (11/7/2014 5:09:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant I've avoided the thread because I understood that the intent was to manipulate people into a mob mentality and it was a success. What mob mentality? Here on this thread I've seen a lot of women saying 'Yep, I can relate to that' whereas there's been quite a strident anti- view amongst quite a lot of the men. What do you think the nature of this 'mob mentality' is?

ExiledTyrant -> RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman (11/7/2014 5:30:46 AM)
The mob mentality has been the focus of the negativity of the clip. As Greta pointed out, there should be laws in place that punish people for cat calling with criminal charges. The focus of the video became the focus of the thread. How many posters came on here and said, "Cat calling sucks, but when I am offered a genuine compliment I like it." Again, 1:57 out of ten hours and we did not see one scene where the girl was complimented, and you know it happened often, but that would've diminished the impact of the intent. I agree that the behavior in the video is deplorable, but I do not much care for sensational manipulation. Years ago, in the midwest, a Doctor was accused of molesting his stepdaughter. It was all over the news, he was fired, the office he worked out of had bricks thrown through the windows, and the media played it to death. Weeks later investigators report that his stepson made the allegations because he was mad at him for not allowing him to watch a TV program. Nothing will ever repair that damage... he was found guilty in the court of public opinion and will have that arrest and "sensationalism" haunting him for the rest of his life. Now, they could've investigated this thoroughly before effecting the arrest and plastering him all over the TV and newspapers, but his exoneration wouldn't sell papers or peak ratings. People are miserably predictable and easily manipulated. Go to t he ocean and yell fish and no one gives a shit, go to the ocean and yell shark and every body gives a shit.

SweetForDaddy -> RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman (11/7/2014 5:34:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant Yes, and it clearly had the sensationalist effect intended; just read this thread. If the intent was to show chivalry, we would've seen 1:57 of men opening doors, catching her arm when she stumbled, helping her gather things she dropped, etc... It was for sensational effect and edited to emphasize the "theme" of the video. I've avoided the thread because I understood that the intent was to manipulate people into a mob mentality and it was a success. Most people like being polite and respond well to other people being polite, its respectful. The point wasn't to show things that weren't a problem, it was to show this particular problem. I'm sure there were lots of men and women being nice to her too, unfortunately that doesn't cancel out this behaviour in some way. I don't know why you have a problem with the video, really I don't. It was to highlight a problem, what is so wrong with that? There are plenty of videos out there showing people being polite and decent human beings too. I suppose it could be viewed as sensationalist as they put all those bits together when they were separate events but they didn't pretend it was her walking down the street and all of this happening int he same 2 minutes. Some happened hours apart possibly but I think they did that was to show how wearing this can get and to make people sit up and take notice. They weren't making stuff up or exaggerating the individual incidents, all of these things did happen, if anything they played them down. It doesn't happen to me every day, it happens once in a while and always has been once in a while for me but I've never really walked in the street completely alone in a big city because I don't feel safe doing so and I've never had to. Most people don't walk for 10 hours a day in a city, doesn't everyone already know that?

ExiledTyrant -> RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman (11/7/2014 5:41:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SweetForDaddy quote: ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant Yes, and it clearly had the sensationalist effect intended; just read this thread. If the intent was to show chivalry, we would've seen 1:57 of men opening doors, catching her arm when she stumbled, helping her gather things she dropped, etc... It was for sensational effect and edited to emphasize the "theme" of the video. I've avoided the thread because I understood that the intent was to manipulate people into a mob mentality and it was a success. Most people like being polite and respond well to other people being polite, its respectful. The point wasn't to show things that weren't a problem, it was to show this particular problem. I'm sure there were lots of men and women being nice to her too, unfortunately that doesn't cancel out this behaviour in some way. I don't know why you have a problem with the video, really I don't. It was to highlight a problem, what is so wrong with that? There are plenty of videos out there showing people being polite and decent human beings too. I suppose it could be viewed as sensationalist as they put all those bits together when they were separate events but they didn't pretend it was her walking down the street and all of this happening int he same 2 minutes. Some happened hours apart possibly but I think they did that was to show how wearing this can get and to make people sit up and take notice. They weren't making stuff up or exaggerating the individual incidents, all of these things did happen, if anything they played them down. It doesn't happen to me every day, it happens once in a while and always has been once in a while for me but I've never really walked in the street completely alone in a big city because I don't feel safe doing so and I've never had to. Most people don't walk for 10 hours a day in a city, doesn't everyone already know that? That's because you are not reading my posts you are reacting to my posts.

SweetForDaddy -> RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman (11/7/2014 5:41:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant quote: ORIGINAL: SweetForDaddy quote: ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant Yes, and it clearly had the sensationalist effect intended; just read this thread. If the intent was to show chivalry, we would've seen 1:57 of men opening doors, catching her arm when she stumbled, helping her gather things she dropped, etc... It was for sensational effect and edited to emphasize the "theme" of the video. I've avoided the thread because I understood that the intent was to manipulate people into a mob mentality and it was a success. Most people like being polite and respond well to other people being polite, its respectful. The point wasn't to show things that weren't a problem, it was to show this particular problem. I'm sure there were lots of men and women being nice to her too, unfortunately that doesn't cancel out this behaviour in some way. I don't know why you have a problem with the video, really I don't. It was to highlight a problem, what is so wrong with that? There are plenty of videos out there showing people being polite and decent human beings too. I suppose it could be viewed as sensationalist as they put all those bits together when they were separate events but they didn't pretend it was her walking down the street and all of this happening int he same 2 minutes. Some happened hours apart possibly but I think they did that was to show how wearing this can get and to make people sit up and take notice. They weren't making stuff up or exaggerating the individual incidents, all of these things did happen, if anything they played them down. It doesn't happen to me every day, it happens once in a while and always has been once in a while for me but I've never really walked in the street completely alone in a big city because I don't feel safe doing so and I've never had to. Most people don't walk for 10 hours a day in a city, doesn't everyone already know that? That's because you are not reading my posts you are reacting to my posts. What makes you think I'm not reading? Is there something you think I have misunderstood?

ExiledTyrant -> RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman (11/7/2014 5:47:33 AM)
Yes.

PeonForHer -> RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman (11/7/2014 5:49:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant I agree that the behavior in the video is deplorable, but I do not much care for sensational manipulation. Years ago, in the midwest, a Doctor was accused of molesting his stepdaughter. It was all over the news, he was fired, the office he worked out of had bricks thrown through the windows, and the media played it to death. Weeks later investigators report that his stepson made the allegations because he was mad at him for not allowing him to watch a TV program. Nothing will ever repair that damage... he was found guilty in the court of public opinion and will have that arrest and "sensationalism" haunting him for the rest of his life. Now, they could've investigated this thoroughly before effecting the arrest and plastering him all over the TV and newspapers, but his exoneration wouldn't sell papers or peak ratings. People are miserably predictable and easily manipulated. Go to t he ocean and yell fish and no one gives a shit, go to the ocean and yell shark and every body gives a shit. Nup. Not my take whatsoever. There was no sensationalist manipulation. The overall view I have from the women on this thread is one of a somewhat depressed 'Pfft, what's the point? They don't get it.' This, plus some half-hearted casting around for a solution, when the general underlying feeling is that there is no solution. quote: How many posters came on here and said, "Cat calling sucks, but when I am offered a genuine compliment I like it." Again, 1:57 out of ten hours and we did not see one scene where the girl was complimented, and you know it happened often, but that would've diminished the impact of the intent. She was complimented frequently - but that was precisely the problem. It's clearly felt as a hassle - but the complimenters didn't give a flying one that she felt it as a hassle. They wanted to push themselves and their compliments on her.. But even that's not really the point: this is, that people just want to walk along the road without having to engage with other people who might be, and all too often are, the sorts you'd never want to engage with.

SweetForDaddy -> RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman (11/7/2014 5:52:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant Yes. If the point was the mob mentality then I don't get that either really. This wasn't an isolated incident like the one you describe in your previous post, everyone knows it happens and changing the law won't make much of a difference in my opinion. It was just to make people more aware.

SinFix -> RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman (11/7/2014 6:23:20 AM)
I guess I take the unpopular stance on this, after watching the video what is the huge deal? Has our society truly gone down to OMG.. Some random guy paid attention to me and complimented me? Now the younger guys that were the more aggressive ones, I have to wonder if social media hasn't pushed their attitude along somewhat. I mean the majority of younger females on FB post semi nude selfies to garner that unwanted attention, so how much of that spills into RL for guys? I have found that the majority of that would have been cut short with a polite thanks but no thanks. Then again I don't find unwanted attention particularly scary either, I just go about my business and react in a suitable manner when the situation calls for one.

FieryOpal -> RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman (11/7/2014 7:56:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Greta75 quote: ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1 In your country, what you call the norm would be very much underweight and many are bordering on dangerously low. Yea, the normal medium weight of women here are 100 to 110lbs, so that's the normal standard. No, not wanting to turn this into a fat thread, so I didn't comment on this yesterday. Agreed, fd1 that for Occidentals, 100 lbs is underweight and not healthy. However Asians tend to have a smaller build. They used to have more of a vegetarian diet, and of course rice is their staple. The physiognomy of many Asian males is so small, of shorter stature - and I don't care for skinny men - that I have never been attracted to one. Other than the Japanese, whose males are more interested in Western women, young Asian men weren't attracted to me either (some of the older ones are). First of all, being half-Asian, I'm too tall for them (by Western standards, I'm of average height), my feet are too big (not by Western standards at size 8) and Asian men in general prefer dainty feet. I am not demure by any stretch of the imagination. I can only speak for Korea, and just a bit for Japan and mainland China. Ordinarily, Korean men go for petite, skinny Korean women. Once they get married, and start having children, they'll start gaining weight. There is chubby-shaming in these cultures, unfortunately, and Koreans can be quite blunt. I'm passable now at 125 lbs, but not considered slender by typical Asian standards.

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