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GoddessManko -> RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman (11/6/2014 10:15:58 AM)
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ORIGINAL: FieryOpal
Zonie, I'm not saying that you're like this, but just going by the way most men of all ages talk amongst themselves, I long ago concluded that the link between the sexual objectification of women and men's laissez-faire attitudes toward it is because:
1. There are men who think that women are essentially like them, anatomical differences aside. That we think alike, that we are soft-wired the same. This is the "sameness" fallacy of Equal Rights which has corroded feminist thought on a philosophical level with which many militant feminists and so-called egalitarians have carried the ball. We are all of equal value as individuals. We are all not the same, however. A Dominant is not the same as a submissive; a submissive is not the same as a Dominant. Yet we still have equal value and worth (or should).
I disagree to an extent. There are various ways a human being can develop. Someone on another thread said "four fundamentals for compatibility". But let's use this to say four fundamentals for human development.
1; PHysically. - This is the most visually influential part of making an impression in a social setting. But physical wellness and development also influences quality of life, longevity for the most part, as well as health to the degree that we can control. Let's in this exercise use two individuals. A woman is operating at 95% efficiency in this area, a man at 10%. Now yes, the man has denser bones, bigger muscles and testosterone which give him an obvious and very tangible advantage over the woman should he be operating at the same efficiency but he is not, ergo they are not equivalent. There are subsets of this, including libido, sexual health, speed, stamina, strength and endurance. We all have variations of those above. Weight lifting focuses on aesthetics but a full figured individual can still possibly outperformed a chiseled person in every area BUT strength, ergo they are more well rounded and efficient.
2; Mentally - This is usually the second most important impression a person can make on another (emotionally might be on equal footing), but this has one singular subset which is academia. It allows you to learn, the higher your IQ, the higher your learning proficiency, but let's say someone with a IQ of 90 isat 100% efficiency, not only with learning but with using that knowledge in ways that is beneficial to themselves and others. While another with an IQ of 130 (going into another category) lacks the ability to communicate ideas, utilize their thoughts and learning or make any valid contributions to their own personal lives or society at large. Their operative ability is 10%. This would be very low especially if they lack emotional development which goes hand in hand with mental development and would rather self pity than think of ways to overcome obstacles. The person at 90 may have odds stacked against him if the latter was as efficient as him but they're not. Also in some cases, it is a medical hurdle the savant cannot help like autism. Many austistic individuals have genius IQ but are fetal in their social capacity due to no fault of their own.
3; Emotionally- For myself this is a constant struggle. When you have daily frustrations in the inefficiency of oneself and others, emotions can be hard to keep in check. This is why weakness in itself is my weakness. I loathe it but yet I try to understand it and exercise patience. This comes with being self aware. No one always has their emotions in check, but having self awareness of one's shortcomings in the defining point in becoming better or having a higher EQ. I am sure my IQ outweighs my EQ, which is why acknowledging trials and difficulty are just as important and GOOD for me as triumph and success, helps me further develop my EQ and lead a happier existence.
Someone might see one who sees the world through rose colored glasses as naive, I would label them as having a higher EQ than most. This is the area where many, many less intelligent people grow to success. They understand the art of networking and socializing and marketability and use it well. Someone with those abilities can be a trailblazer while someone else of higher intellect can constantly self sabotage either through action or inaction or the action or inaction of OTHERS.
4; Spiritually- I believe this is the least acknowledged but possibly most important factor in human development. For a long time as a child, all I cared about were good grades, winning, being the best. I never really cared for global issues or even the person sitting next to me in class. I believe moving to the US helped increase my social awareness greatly, and through that, most of my learning took place outside of the classroom. I thought credentials were a testament to my intellect but now I realize there are those far better, more intelligent than myself who simply never had the opportunity to prove it, and therefore I am humbled.
I can still eb a smart ass due to my impatience with others, that may always be a constant struggle for me, but I try my best to improve those 4 areas of my life to be the best version of myself. Spirituality also has many subsets of religion but those are all tools like weights are to the physical, You can actually build your body/self with it, or destroy it. It all depends on how a person chooses to use it.
That being said, no, someone with less who does more is not on equal footing or equal to someone who has everything yet does nothing.
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2. Ergo men think women want to be treated the same way that they themselves want to be treated. There isn't a man I've ever met who doesn't want to be sexually objectified. It's just a matter of by whom. This is why many men don't see anything wrong with stalking. They would love to have a desirable woman, who is not mentally unstable of course, stalking or pursuing them.
Some men should acknowledge some women are simply more capable than them. Some of us do things better. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. Gender has no bearing on it.
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3. So even those men who wouldn't engage in these non-consensual behaviors themselves, are often not quick to condemn other men who do. The problem with vanilla conduct between the sexes is that the vanilla world does not automatically acknowledge the right to consensuality between persons without raising awareness. I know of kinksters who are still ignorant about consensual BDSM, those who have no regard for basic D/s protocols.
4. Which goes to show that this egalitarian crap is just a bag of hot air and has no actual substance to it. It's a way for those men to justify *getting theirs* and for getting away with social unacceptable behavior.
Agreed.
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Again, the disconnect and cognitive dissonance between what we've been told is acceptable to say in public in mixed company, and what is actually believed within, or what we understand about how some males behave toward females whom they perceive as being *open game*. Yes, many people still believe that a woman who dresses provocatively, exposes parts of her body, or wears tight-fitting clothing, invites not only unwanted male attention, but is "asking for it."
This kind of thinking is dangerous and makes lame excuses for dangerous acts, to that I say, "Be less of a pussy."
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I don't have a daughter, but if I did, you can bet I'd be hovering over her like a she-hawk. That girl wouldn't be allowed to go anywhere unchaperoned.
As for parental protectiveness, I have heard out of his own mouth, a so-called liberal progressive who has the loosest sexual morals of any man older than me I have ever met, say that it is a girl's parents' duty to make sure she doesn't leave the house WITH THEM ON A FAMILY OUTING without wearing a blouse which could expose anything when she bends over. That it is their fault for not teaching their underage daughter to keep covered up so as not to entice adult male predators. [8|] Because apparently, men have a free pass to act badly and inappropriately to females and shouldn't be held accountable for their natural urges. A Rape Culture Re-Invented.
The 11 year old in my family (soon to be 12) is a black belt in tae kwon do. She can disarm a man and get out of any "holding" position and also knows how to break wood with various parts of her body and use all the weapons. It is always an option. I like the idea of tasing someone til he pisses himself personally.
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