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RE: Confused about possible danger - 7/13/2006 10:34:53 AM   
MistressTexas


Posts: 425
Joined: 5/30/2006
Status: offline 		Well Violet, my only advice to you, other than to listen to the previous advice of all the wonderful posters here, is to check out this thread. http://www.collarchat.com/tm.asp?m=421409   It just may give you some further insight.

(in reply to lapgirl)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Confused about possible danger - 7/13/2006 10:40:01 AM   
Curiossdragnlily


Posts: 105
Joined: 4/4/2006
Status: offline 		i think you and O/other's answered the question very well..ALWAYS follow your gut..
with respect,
lily, collared and owned slave of Master Curios
srn 308-692-331

(in reply to Violetblushes)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Confused about possible danger - 7/13/2006 11:47:06 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		I can only restate what the others said don't go to meet this guy.  As for the training i have had more then one master 3 to be exact and each one had his own way of doing things a different way of training me.  Not one person can train you for someone else.  Best of luck in your search.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to Curiossdragnlily)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Confused about possible danger - 7/13/2006 12:09:59 PM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		BIG RED FLAG!!!! If something doesn't feel right to you, dont do it. Go with your gut instinct.

(in reply to Violetblushes)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Confused about possible danger - 7/14/2006 6:37:25 PM   
SweetSarijane


Posts: 3788
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: KC area Missouri
Status: offline 		I'm of the same mind as those who've already posted. He sounds like a predator type, preying on newbies who don't know anything. Asking for a phone number 10 mins into initial conversation???? uh uh...hell no. Offering to "train" you for a future Dom?????? nope...only the Dom you submit to can train you to his preferences...no one else can do it for him. Lotsa red flags here. Ignore, block, delete, cut contact permanently. Make sure it's right for you before you submit.

_____________________________

Sarah2
Deviant Mind
Wild Side Readers KCSass

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Confused about possible danger - 7/14/2006 9:05:08 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Violetblushes

I'm a new submissive. I posted my profile looking for a few friends around my area to just hang out with and answer questions and stuff, and was contacted by a dominant from another state. He seems very nice, but it made me nervous when he asked for my cell phone after 10 minutes of chatting with me. He's married but is looking for a sub, and I told him I'm not looking for a married dom. He said that he'd be willing to train me because another dom. would want me to know how to please him. He also wants to fly me out to him and his wife. I'm not sure what I should do. Everything I've grown up hearing about the internet says I'm nuts for even considering, but I don't know enough about this lifestyle to know if what he says is true. He keeps insisting that he is sincere and won't go any further than i'm comfortable with. Could someone please give me some advice so I know whether I should cut contact now?


Hello A/all,

Thank you for allowing me to post on this thread.

There is a book by a man named Gavin DeBecker called
"The Gift Of Fear."

I heartily recommend it; it deals with a lot of the things brought
up in this thread.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to Violetblushes)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Confused about possible danger - 7/14/2006 10:17:18 PM   
jojoluvr


Posts: 441
Joined: 4/10/2006
Status: offline 		i've read the book Sinergy recommends -- it's a must.  it changed my perspective of the world.  and as a newbie here myself, i've encountered more than enough of the type of Dom pressuring You.  no matter what lines or claims He throws your way, being submissive doesn't mean being foolish.  so ditto to all the "run like hells" offered already --

hang in there...i've also met some insightful and understanding Doms here too.  and no matter what, each conversation is instructive in its own way...

jo


_____________________________

jojo




(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Confused about possible danger - 7/15/2006 1:31:08 AM   
champagnewishes


Posts: 1310
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Orange County
Status: offline 		If the man didn't call himself a Dom, but was some guy on the internet  would you give him your cell phone number after 10 minutes?  If he didn't say he was in the lifestyle but wanted to date, would you hop on a plane to go meet him?  Things aren't any different here than anywhere else.  Don't allow your desire to learn cloud your common sense.   Learning doesn't come with a price tag, a guilt trip, or under the guise of being a favor.   

_____________________________

Nirvana cannot be described, it is only understood truly by a person who has experienced it.


(in reply to jojoluvr)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Confused about possible danger - 7/15/2006 2:30:22 AM   
jonmark5


Posts: 2
Joined: 7/14/2006
Status: offline 		ok  as A Dom do"t go he want sex not friendship or to help yu he could teach you or the net  and take it nice and slow if  he cared about helping you and what if you go and he  is  not just an ass hole but an  killer you never khow  so like  I tell my sub friends is better to play it to seif then not self enoght one more thing you need to seat down  and ask your self what it is your looking for .for your self  and from your self before you get any kind of Dom  then you will  khow when you meet the right one

(in reply to lapgirl)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Confused about possible danger - 7/16/2006 12:49:59 AM   
Estring


Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		In spite of all the good advice given here, I'm betting she has already decided to go.

_____________________________

Boycott Whales!

(in reply to jonmark5)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Confused about possible danger - 7/16/2006 3:36:01 AM   
mons


Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline 		greetings
 
i remember your post i wrote and i will write you again. frist dear a true dom would not rush you he would want you to trust him first and not want your number so fast he is a ffake this show on how fast he is trying to get you. i remember so many many years ago i thought i was submisive and i remember this one person a dom talk to me intro me to the people on teh room it was a dominant men and women room i decide aafter much thought i am not inot this i am not sumissive when i told him this and i remember this to this day he said he had my heart we spoke and he was so aggressive i have to block him from my email and im. he move fast.
you need to remeber i dom can be a gentleman and will wait for you to come to him and kindly take you on now like so lol wild animal running you to the groud chasing you. your new you most be careful and i mean careful some can mess up a good submissive by being the worst fake i seen some with chains and will want you fast they will not wait so i hope everyone here is telling you how not to be caught in a bad place with someone who is crazy take your time submissive does not mean dumb or door mate
i wishe you luck
 
mons take care

(in reply to Violetblushes)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Confused about possible danger - 7/16/2006 4:54:25 AM   
feastie


Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Violetblushes

I'm a new submissive. I posted my profile looking for a few friends around my area to just hang out with and answer questions and stuff, and was contacted by a dominant from another state. He seems very nice, but it made me nervous when he asked for my cell phone after 10 minutes of chatting with me. He's married but is looking for a sub, and I told him I'm not looking for a married dom. He said that he'd be willing to train me because another dom. would want me to know how to please him. He also wants to fly me out to him and his wife. I'm not sure what I should do. Everything I've grown up hearing about the internet says I'm nuts for even considering, but I don't know enough about this lifestyle to know if what he says is true. He keeps insisting that he is sincere and won't go any further than i'm comfortable with. Could someone please give me some advice so I know whether I should cut contact now?


Don't go, don't have contact with this guy anymore.  Honestly, how can you even question this.  The guy isn't local, your first request, he isn't single, your second request...and after ten minutes he's asking for your phone number and telling you how he and his wife want to fly you to their home for training. 

Excuse me,  are you missing the huge red flag waving here?  Aren't there alarm bells going off all around you?  Should sound like an air raid siren.

Red flags are red flags, pay attention to them and don't let anyone schmooze them out of  you.

_____________________________

Snarky and loving it.

Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to Violetblushes)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Confused about possible danger - 7/16/2006 11:45:09 AM   
Violetblushes


Posts: 6
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline 		Hey everyone. I just wanted to thank you all for your kind advice and to let you know that I did as you suggested and cut all contact. Now that I look back, I see it was rather stupid of me to even consider it, but that's the beauty/curse of hindsight, ne? Anyway, thanks again for all of your advice.
Sincerely,
Violetblushes

_____________________________

There's no such thing as black or white, only shades of grey.

(in reply to feastie)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Confused about possible danger - 7/17/2006 3:06:36 PM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		I agree with everyone else in here.
Don't do it!
If I were talking to a sub in here we'd be talking for quite a while until we BOTH felt comfortable about progressing.
Then it would be more appropriate for me to give her MY phone number and not the other way around!
And you always meet in a* public place* when you meet for the first time and also the woman should have a friend with her.
Use *Common Sense*.

(in reply to Violetblushes)
Profile   Post #: 34
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