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Ponder these thoughts - 7/12/2006 7:52:53 PM

irishbynature

Posts: 551
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Ten Thoughts to Ponder for 2006

Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted

Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one
Can die.

Number 8
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny.
If you see him
Without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a
Person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Number 6
Some people are like a Slinky.....not really good for
Anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

Number 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday - lying in
Hospitals dying of nothing.

Number 4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no
Attention to criticism.

Number 3
Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars
And a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

Number 2
In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now The world is weird and People take Prozac to make it normal.

AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006:
We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among the millions And millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of Illegal immigrants and Terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration

_____________________________

What seems nasty, painful, or evil, can become a source of beauty, joy, and strength, for those who have the vision to recognize it as such. Henry Miller

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RE: Ponder these thoughts - 7/12/2006 8:10:54 PM

diamonddreamlove

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LOL thank you for this miracle of a laugh for the night.

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RE: Ponder these thoughts - 7/12/2006 8:13:23 PM

irishbynature

Posts: 551
Joined: 5/11/2006
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You're welcome..it was just sent to me in an email...thought it was a riot!

_____________________________

What seems nasty, painful, or evil, can become a source of beauty, joy, and strength, for those who have the vision to recognize it as such. Henry Miller

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RE: Ponder these thoughts - 7/12/2006 8:15:00 PM

Jaxom

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Joined: 6/15/2005
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HA! #8 ...so true!

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RE: Ponder these thoughts - 7/12/2006 11:31:54 PM

enigmabrat

Posts: 2383
Joined: 8/1/2004
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HEHEHEHEHEHEHE

I love it

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Leather strap $85.00 on Master card
Wooden paddle $50.00 on Master card
ratten cane $48.00 on Master card

a Master that can use them all Priceless

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RE: Ponder these thoughts - 7/14/2006 7:39:06 PM

Sinergy

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
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Here is something to ponder.

Guy in Las Vegas goes out looking for a hooker and spots a nice looking one in front of the Mirage.

Goes up to her and asks "How much for a hand job?" and gets the
reply $500

"Gee, that must be some great hand job."

The hooker points at a Ferrari nearby and goes "I own that."

Guy pays her $500 and sure enough it is the best hand job he has
ever had.

Goes out the next night, same hooker.

G "How much for a blow job?"

H "$2000"

G "That must be a great blowjob, how can I be sure?"

H "See that casino behind you? I own it"

He pays her the money and goes away happy.

Next night, same hooker.

G "How much to go all the way"

H "See that Las Vegas strip behind you?"

G "Yes"

H "If I had a vagina, I would own it."

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

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RE: Ponder these thoughts - 7/14/2006 11:33:44 PM

LaMalinche

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Joined: 10/20/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: irishbynature

Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a
Person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

I always liked the version. . .

Build a man a fire, keep him warm for a day. Set a man on fire, keep him warm for a lifetime.

_____________________________

Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil... prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon...

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RE: Ponder these thoughts - 7/15/2006 1:20:50 PM

tpas69

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Ok but if you give a man a glass of water he'll drink it ,put him in the water and he might drown.

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RE: Ponder these thoughts - 7/15/2006 5:56:09 PM

yoursnatch

Posts: 28
Joined: 9/11/2005
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number 10 reminded me of this.
1.COWS 2.THE CONSTITUTION,3.THE TEN COMANDMENTS.
COWS:Is it just me,or does anyone else find it amazing that our government can track a cow born in canada almost three years ago,right to the stall where she sleeps in the state of washington ? And,thye tracked her calves to their stalls , Ut they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give them all a cow.
THE CONSTITUTION: They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don't we just give them our's It was written by a lot of really smart guy's, it's worked for over 200 years and we are not using it anymore.
TEN COMMANDMENTS;The real reason we can't have the ten commandments in the courthouse..... You cannot post "Thou Shalt Not Steal," Thou SHall Not Commit Adultery" and "Thou Shall Not Lie" in a buliding full of lawyers,judges, and politicians it creates a hostile work enviriment.

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RE: Ponder these thoughts - 7/16/2006 8:18:24 PM

fyrekittyn

Posts: 282
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: Memphis, TN
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OMG! That is too damn funny!

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Whip me, spank me, beat me, fuck me, all if it and more!
~~~~~~~~~~~
Oh, come on now. You can hit harder! *THWACK* OW! BASTARD! See, I was right!
~~~~~~~~~~~
fyrekittyn - the sweet, innocent, angelic, virgin princess!

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RE: Ponder these thoughts - 7/16/2006 8:39:17 PM

irishbynature

Posts: 551
Joined: 5/11/2006
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I think a comedian I heard said it best..."You women worry too much about what a man's thinking! Stop! It's simple....We men are thinking two things and that's all...I want a beer and I want to see something naked!"

_____________________________

What seems nasty, painful, or evil, can become a source of beauty, joy, and strength, for those who have the vision to recognize it as such. Henry Miller

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RE: Ponder these thoughts - 7/16/2006 9:08:13 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
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Death is fatal disease for which there is no cure. You start to die at the moment of birth......

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Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

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RE: Ponder these thoughts - 7/17/2006 8:42:59 PM

NurseKitty

Posts: 33
Joined: 6/14/2006
From: Syracuse, New York
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quote:

ORIGINAL: irishbynature

Ten Thoughts to Ponder for 2006

Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted

Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one
Can die.

Number 8
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny.
If you see him
Without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a
Person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Number 6
Some people are like a Slinky.....not really good for
Anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

Number 2021
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday - lying in
Hospitals dying of nothing.

Number 4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no
Attention to criticism.

Number 3
Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars
And a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

Number 2
In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now The world is weird and People take Prozac to make it normal.

AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006:
We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among the millions And millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of Illegal immigrants and Terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration

#6 in particular got a very hearty AAL (actual audible laugh) from my Dom, as well as me. I'm copying this to an e-mail...I know a lot of people who can appreciate most of these. And the ones that don't are a number Six!

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