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RE: Why can't I reconcile these things?? - 11/19/2014 1:13:29 PM   
YouName


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Don't be stupid. You don't have hobos in a moderately successful society.


Altho now they are getting here from other places.

< Message edited by YouName -- 11/19/2014 1:14:43 PM >

(in reply to ExiledTyrant)
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RE: Why can't I reconcile these things?? - 11/19/2014 1:15:50 PM   
ExiledTyrant


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From: Exiled
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quote:

ORIGINAL: YouName

Don't be stupid. You don't have hobos in a moderately successful society.


Altho now they are getting here from other places.


Don't be naive and answer the question.


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To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

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RE: Why can't I reconcile these things?? - 11/19/2014 1:18:30 PM   
YouName


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I'd surely take the Hobos advice over the psychologists.

(in reply to ExiledTyrant)
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RE: Why can't I reconcile these things?? - 11/19/2014 1:21:17 PM   
ExiledTyrant


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Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
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quote:

ORIGINAL: YouName

I'd surely take the Hobos advice over the psychologists.


I can clearly see why. You deflect at every turn. Freud or any armchair shrink would have a field day with you... maybe get a case study published on you.

So, what is it, specifically, that you cannot reconcile?



_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to YouName)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Why can't I reconcile these things?? - 11/19/2014 1:21:43 PM   
Bhruic


Posts: 985
Joined: 4/11/2012
From: Toronto, Canada
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP


quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw

See to me, that "BDSM Therapy" stuff is a crock of shit and would make me not care about the characters, cause I don't relate.



QFT. Relationship partners aren't therapists. Even if they are in their day jobs, it's unethical to practice on your partner. If her husband really cared about her, he'd find her a therapist to help her learn to manage alone. Not hand her over like a car he was selling where the possibility exists that in a month he'll resell the car or crash it.

And yeah, stating that the only reason a woman would bottom or sub is because she's fucked up would get my back up too.


That's one way to look at it... and yet, therapy is all about honesty, communication and perspective. Most people would say a good relationship is about all the same things... so relationship, if you are doing it properly, is basically therapy.


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RE: Why can't I reconcile these things?? - 11/19/2014 1:27:20 PM   
Bhruic


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From: Toronto, Canada
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quote:

ORIGINAL: smileforme50


quote:

ORIGINAL: YouName

I spend no thought on you neither, just interesting to note!
On a note, so was the rest of that post ET


Hey Des, I'm glad it keeps working out for you.
I do have one question if you will allow me to be brunt.

Would you keep going to a dentist whom you had to visit all the time to keep the toothache away?
Fine, maybe those teeth keep getting holes in them, but you could just stop drinking that coke then.



So because therapy takes more time and visits to a professional than a single trip to fill a tooth..... That obviously means it doesn't work and it's not worth it?

Just because a treatment takes a longer period of regular active care doesn't mean it doesn't work. Have you ever needed an extended period of PT?


One big problem with therapy, is that it is not terribly difficult to successfully lie to someone who knows you little enough to be objective.

While your friends and partners may be less objective, they can see through, and call, your bullshit more readily.

Therapy only works if you accept the need to be completely open and vulnerable. Some people can only get there with a stranger... but if you can get there with a friend or partner who is receptive, you may get more value out of that than therapy can provide.

_____________________________

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RE: Why can't I reconcile these things?? - 11/19/2014 1:49:55 PM   
ExiledTyrant


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Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Bhruic


One big problem with therapy, is that it is not terribly difficult to successfully lie to someone who knows you little enough to be objective.

While your friends and partners may be less objective, they can see through, and call, your bullshit more readily.

Therapy only works if you accept the need to be completely open and vulnerable. Some people can only get there with a stranger... but if you can get there with a friend or partner who is receptive, you may get more value out of that than therapy can provide.



Hmmm... Go maith le... I'm going to have to keep an on you, you're way more level than your name implies.

Jus sayin

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to Bhruic)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Why can't I reconcile these things?? - 11/19/2014 2:31:01 PM   
YouName


Posts: 271
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I think I've already expressed my sentiments strongly enough.
If you do not understand or if you think them foolish then who cares!

Since you seem to agree with and understand what Bhruic says then I will direct you to his case and point as it resonates with my position well enough with the only major difference being that I direct criticism to this presumed inability to communicate such things to others than this payed stranger as a symptom itself.
To add, the symptom is not cured by indulging in it.

Something I'm sure you understand.

< Message edited by YouName -- 11/19/2014 2:34:16 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Why can't I reconcile these things?? - 11/19/2014 2:46:51 PM   
smileforme50


Posts: 1623
Joined: 1/24/2013
From: DelaWHERE(?)
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Bhruic


quote:

ORIGINAL: smileforme50


quote:

ORIGINAL: YouName

I spend no thought on you neither, just interesting to note!
On a note, so was the rest of that post ET


Hey Des, I'm glad it keeps working out for you.
I do have one question if you will allow me to be brunt.

Would you keep going to a dentist whom you had to visit all the time to keep the toothache away?
Fine, maybe those teeth keep getting holes in them, but you could just stop drinking that coke then.



So because therapy takes more time and visits to a professional than a single trip to fill a tooth..... That obviously means it doesn't work and it's not worth it?

Just because a treatment takes a longer period of regular active care doesn't mean it doesn't work. Have you ever needed an extended period of PT?


One big problem with therapy, is that it is not terribly difficult to successfully lie to someone who knows you little enough to be objective.

While your friends and partners may be less objective, they can see through, and call, your bullshit more readily.

Therapy only works if you accept the need to be completely open and vulnerable. Some people can only get there with a stranger... but if you can get there with a friend or partner who is receptive, you may get more value out of that than therapy can provide.


Yes.....therapy only works if you accept the need to be completely open and vulnerable.....but if someone can't accept that, then wtf are they doing going to therapy to begin with?


_____________________________

“Give it to me!” she yelled
“I’m so fucking wet! Give it to me now!”

She could scream all she wanted…..I was keeping the umbrella.

(in reply to Bhruic)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Why can't I reconcile these things?? - 11/19/2014 2:49:43 PM   
smileforme50


Posts: 1623
Joined: 1/24/2013
From: DelaWHERE(?)
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bhruic


quote:

ORIGINAL: smileforme50


quote:

ORIGINAL: YouName

I spend no thought on you neither, just interesting to note!
On a note, so was the rest of that post ET


Hey Des, I'm glad it keeps working out for you.
I do have one question if you will allow me to be brunt.

Would you keep going to a dentist whom you had to visit all the time to keep the toothache away?
Fine, maybe those teeth keep getting holes in them, but you could just stop drinking that coke then.



So because therapy takes more time and visits to a professional than a single trip to fill a tooth..... That obviously means it doesn't work and it's not worth it?

Just because a treatment takes a longer period of regular active care doesn't mean it doesn't work. Have you ever needed an extended period of PT?


One big problem with therapy, is that it is not terribly difficult to successfully lie to someone who knows you little enough to be objective.

While your friends and partners may be less objective, they can see through, and call, your bullshit more readily.

Therapy only works if you accept the need to be completely open and vulnerable. Some people can only get there with a stranger... but if you can get there with a friend or partner who is receptive, you may get more value out of that than therapy can provide.


But there is also a good chance that your friends and partners are just as messed up and need therapy as much as you do (you as a general term...not you specifically). How much help is someone going to be if they're struggling with the same problems you are?


_____________________________

“Give it to me!” she yelled
“I’m so fucking wet! Give it to me now!”

She could scream all she wanted…..I was keeping the umbrella.

(in reply to Bhruic)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Why can't I reconcile these things?? - 11/19/2014 2:57:45 PM   
YouName


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Joined: 10/22/2014
Status: offline
Well not even that's completely true. You've got different types of therapies. For example with CBT or even more so BT there's really no meaning in emptying your innermost thoughts.

Sick shit like Freudian bullshit should be buried beneath the frozen ground of hell and never thought of again. But even there you are induced to telling your inner most feelings and thoughts through various forms of what I would call manipulation to get you to for example use a defence mechanism at a certain point to thus be able to crudely point to the use of such.

But most therapies aren't really bad...they are just missing the point.
I'm sure peoples dependency on them will just grow with services such as Facebook and Google growing and penetrating peoples lives to the point where a wall so high is drawn between the private and the public that no friend or acquaintance can climb over it.
Vive le Self - Promotion.


< Message edited by YouName -- 11/19/2014 3:01:15 PM >

(in reply to smileforme50)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Why can't I reconcile these things?? - 11/19/2014 5:32:02 PM   
smileforme50


Posts: 1623
Joined: 1/24/2013
From: DelaWHERE(?)
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: YouName

Well not even that's completely true. You've got different types of therapies. For example with CBT or even more so BT there's really no meaning in emptying your innermost thoughts.

Sick shit like Freudian bullshit should be buried beneath the frozen ground of hell and never thought of again. But even there you are induced to telling your inner most feelings and thoughts through various forms of what I would call manipulation to get you to for example use a defence mechanism at a certain point to thus be able to crudely point to the use of such.

But most therapies aren't really bad...they are just missing the point.
I'm sure peoples dependency on them will just grow with services such as Facebook and Google growing and penetrating peoples lives to the point where a wall so high is drawn between the private and the public that no friend or acquaintance can climb over it.
Vive le Self - Promotion.



uh-huh.....

Okay now....back to the original topic...


_____________________________

“Give it to me!” she yelled
“I’m so fucking wet! Give it to me now!”

She could scream all she wanted…..I was keeping the umbrella.

(in reply to YouName)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Why can't I reconcile these things?? - 11/19/2014 5:51:29 PM   
HeartAndSoul31


Posts: 148
Status: offline
I suspect it depends on the hobo, the bag and the stick he is toting. I mean that could trigger me listening to a hobo. He probably knows things I don't know. The hobo might be wiser then the therapist. As I said really depends on the hobo. Maybe he can fix a car too. That's a talented hobo.

(in reply to smileforme50)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Why can't I reconcile these things?? - 11/19/2014 6:31:28 PM   
ExiledTyrant


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Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
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quote:

ORIGINAL: HeartAndSoul31

I suspect it depends on the hobo, the bag and the stick he is toting. I mean that could trigger me listening to a hobo. He probably knows things I don't know. The hobo might be wiser then the therapist. As I said really depends on the hobo. Maybe he can fix a car too. That's a talented hobo.


Naturally. Of course if said hobo is your friend he, by logical deduction, should be a clinical psychologist as well... or dentist, or zoologist, the uses of hobo's are unlimited. I think they get a bad wrap.

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to HeartAndSoul31)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Why can't I reconcile these things?? - 11/19/2014 9:01:44 PM   
DesFIP


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Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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quote:

ORIGINAL: YouName

Would you keep going to a dentist whom you had to visit all the time to keep the toothache away?
Fine, maybe those teeth keep getting holes in them, but you could just stop drinking that coke then.



I have acidic saliva so I'm on a four month cleaning and checking cycle. I don't drink a lot of soda, maybe once a day. But I can't change my saliva.

However the analogy does not hold. It would hold a lot better if you weren't asking about a check up and filling one cavity. If we were talking periodontal disease which takes years to get really bad and then lots of visits and major work to repair. I've had my jawbone reshaped for that. And I floss nightly because of it. It doesn't matter what I do, I'm still prone to periodontal disease.

You also are overlooking, or perhaps deliberately ignoring the fact that many people go to therapists because of genetic diseases they cannot fix. I'm fourth generation mood disorder. My daughter and her cousins are fifth generation. Therapy provides us the ability to learn over time the coping skills we could not learn when we were ill. The symptoms are lifted by the medications that have developed since the 90s, and some only in the last decade.

When there were no medications to lift suicidal depression and you spent every day trying to find the energy just to shower, then you could not also learn social skills that normal, healthy people learned growing up. You learn those skills in school simply by interacting with other students. That's 12 years, 6 hours a day, 5 days a week, 44 weeks a year. Three or four years at one hour a week is a tiny amount of time to learn all those skills that you healthy people learned effortlessly in a great deal more time. Over 15,000 hours instead of 150. Viewed from this perspective, that three years is nothing.

And you are totally incorrect about how easy it is to scam a top quality clinical psychiatrist. Hell, even the social workers I know would see through you after just a couple of years in business.


< Message edited by DesFIP -- 11/19/2014 9:06:44 PM >


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RE: Why can't I reconcile these things?? - 11/19/2014 9:51:29 PM   
Bhruic


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From: Toronto, Canada
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quote:

ORIGINAL: smileforme50

Yes.....therapy only works if you accept the need to be completely open and vulnerable.....but if someone can't accept that, then wtf are they doing going to therapy to begin with?



Some people's delusions are very powerful... some people are very crafty a deceiving a therapist, and can actually manipulate a professional in to validating their delusions, or worldview. When a therapist fails to penetrate their deception, they can view that as proof that the problem is not them, but everyone else.

Therapy is easily abused, and that accounts for its poor reputation with many people.

edited because I originally misread your comment.

< Message edited by Bhruic -- 11/19/2014 10:00:33 PM >


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RE: Why can't I reconcile these things?? - 11/19/2014 10:08:17 PM   
Bhruic


Posts: 985
Joined: 4/11/2012
From: Toronto, Canada
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

And you are totally incorrect about how easy it is to scam a top quality clinical psychiatrist. Hell, even the social workers I know would see through you after just a couple of years in business.



Very few people are seeing top quality clinical psychiatrists. Most are seeing analytical psychotherapists. And fewer still will stick with any kind of therapy for a prolonged period of time.

I have some experience with both psychiatrists and psychotherapists... and my sister was a psychotherapist and then a psychiatrist. It is not as hard as you think. Sure... they will see your superficial issues, or the symptoms of them... but they are not mind readers, or omniscient... and if you are not honest with them, the underlying basis for your issues will remain your secret... and your issues will remain unresolved, or will be worsened by the experience.

_____________________________

pronounced "VROOick"

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Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Why can't I reconcile these things?? - 11/19/2014 10:19:53 PM   
DerangedUnit


Posts: 660
Joined: 2/23/2007
Status: offline
for the short version:

When I was young I was diagnosed with everything under the sun, it became a game to cover all basis. But I already had zero respect for the system. I was first admitted to full time care after my parents split and my father refused to pay any child support. So my mother had me picked up and told them I was demon possessed because I didn't believe in god, and because of that I spent the majority of my teen years strapped to a bed sedated. My experiences with government run psychiatric care could not have had a more drastic effect on the course of my life if they tried, and none of it was good.

(in reply to Bhruic)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Why can't I reconcile these things?? - 11/20/2014 2:39:02 AM   
YouName


Posts: 271
Joined: 10/22/2014
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: YouName

Would you keep going to a dentist whom you had to visit all the time to keep the toothache away?
Fine, maybe those teeth keep getting holes in them, but you could just stop drinking that coke then.



I have acidic saliva so I'm on a four month cleaning and checking cycle. I don't drink a lot of soda, maybe once a day. But I can't change my saliva.

However the analogy does not hold. It would hold a lot better if you weren't asking about a check up and filling one cavity. If we were talking periodontal disease which takes years to get really bad and then lots of visits and major work to repair. I've had my jawbone reshaped for that. And I floss nightly because of it. It doesn't matter what I do, I'm still prone to periodontal disease.

You also are overlooking, or perhaps deliberately ignoring the fact that many people go to therapists because of genetic diseases they cannot fix. I'm fourth generation mood disorder. My daughter and her cousins are fifth generation. Therapy provides us the ability to learn over time the coping skills we could not learn when we were ill. The symptoms are lifted by the medications that have developed since the 90s, and some only in the last decade.

When there were no medications to lift suicidal depression and you spent every day trying to find the energy just to shower, then you could not also learn social skills that normal, healthy people learned growing up. You learn those skills in school simply by interacting with other students. That's 12 years, 6 hours a day, 5 days a week, 44 weeks a year. Three or four years at one hour a week is a tiny amount of time to learn all those skills that you healthy people learned effortlessly in a great deal more time. Over 15,000 hours instead of 150. Viewed from this perspective, that three years is nothing.

And you are totally incorrect about how easy it is to scam a top quality clinical psychiatrist. Hell, even the social workers I know would see through you after just a couple of years in business.




I haven't even mentioned psychatrists and I was talking about psychology at worst being a scam (not you scaming them, that sounds a bit counter productive).
That's great tho, I'm not sure I want some stranger to see through me. To each their own. I would add more but it's really not my place, precisely because I am a stranger.

edit.

Take not from Bhruic. He wraps it much more nicely. I've known a few too, and I've studied it a bit, nothing much. I find it fascinating but completely disheartening.
Psychiatry is different, it deals with more credible issues.

I would say that going to a councillor is somewhat comforting and helpful, going to a psychiatrist may be necessary and going to a psychologist is probably neither in comparison .but that's from my perspective, if it helps you, great.

< Message edited by YouName -- 11/20/2014 2:48:05 AM >

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Why can't I reconcile these things?? - 11/20/2014 2:41:42 AM   
YouName


Posts: 271
Joined: 10/22/2014
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant


quote:

ORIGINAL: HeartAndSoul31

I suspect it depends on the hobo, the bag and the stick he is toting. I mean that could trigger me listening to a hobo. He probably knows things I don't know. The hobo might be wiser then the therapist. As I said really depends on the hobo. Maybe he can fix a car too. That's a talented hobo.


Naturally. Of course if said hobo is your friend he, by logical deduction, should be a clinical psychologist as well... or dentist, or zoologist, the uses of hobo's are unlimited. I think they get a bad wrap.



Maybe you need to take off those glasses, Heart never mentioned anything about the hobo being his or her friend.

(in reply to ExiledTyrant)
Profile   Post #: 60
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