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RE: Improving One's Mind for Their Dominant - 7/13/2006 9:58:15 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TxBadMan

quote:

I was curious if any other submissives have little "projects" that their dominant people have assigned for them to better their minds in some way to be more pleasing

I found my girl pleasing from the first day I met her, and she has continued to be so without me having to tell her how to do it. Personally, I find the idea of telling her to read a certain book, or watch a certain movie, just so she could be  more pleasing; to be quite an insult. But that is just my own personal view on it.


Everyone is allowed to their opinion.. but I wonder if she pleases you in every way without being told how to, then she must be a psychic submissive? She knows exactly what to wear, what you want sexually, what you desire to eat without being told? Wow, I could take some submissive pointers from her. These assignments are more because he knows I enjoy them and they draw me closer to him.. just like telling me not to wear undies out to dinner, I wonder if you find going comando offensive to your submissive too?

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to TxBadMan)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Improving One's Mind for Their Dominant - 7/13/2006 10:13:36 AM   
Curiossdragnlily


Posts: 105
Joined: 4/4/2006
Status: offline 		my Master is always challenging my mind. Whether it be reading for leisure or to expand my mind within the M/s or BDSM realm or just plain old sexually. i am always reading books or things on the internet.
with respect,
lily, collared and owned slave of Master Curios

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Improving One's Mind for Their Dominant - 7/13/2006 12:06:12 PM   
Tapestry


Posts: 226
Joined: 10/29/2005
Status: offline 		Master has never assigned me a task.  He already thinks i'm smart, even though i certainly don't feel that smart.  But i do try to read about things i know He's interested in, and stay abreast of current events.  Fortunately many of His interests were already mine even before W/w met.  When He mentions something that He enjoys, i do try to become at least proficient in that area.  Sometimes the skills may require taking a class, reading a book, practicing, or other efforts, but He is worth whatever they might be.
 
Most recently i have begun baking bread, and constantly try different types of loaves.  He loves fresh bread, and it's very important to me to please Him in everyway possible.  I could give other examples of ways I've attempted to improve myself for Him, but we all get the point.

_____________________________

Tapestry

Daddy's Little Girl

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but the moments that take our breath away."

www.tapestry41.blogspot.com

(in reply to Curiossdragnlily)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Improving One's Mind for Their Dominant - 7/13/2006 1:14:43 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		Kind of hard to explain. In most of this I outpace him. So, in some cases he's actually asked me to educate him regarding things like wine and opera. We were just raised very differently and exposed to different "culture".

What he has asked me to learn about are things that are passions for him like baseball and auto racing so that I can provide good company for him and hold conversations with him regarding his chosen subjects.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Tapestry)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Improving One's Mind for Their Dominant - 7/13/2006 2:52:39 PM   
TxBadMan


Posts: 198
Joined: 4/7/2006
From: Moody, Texas
Status: offline
quote:

Everyone is allowed to their opinion.. but I wonder if she pleases you in every way without being told how to, then she must be a psychic submissive? She knows exactly what to wear, what you want sexually, what you desire to eat without being told? Wow, I could take some submissive pointers from her. These assignments are more because he knows I enjoy them and they draw me closer to him.. just like telling me not to wear undies out to dinner, I wonder if you find going comando offensive to your submissive too?

Your sarcasm is noted, and duly dismissed.
In answer to your questions, yes, she does please me immensly in every way; and no, I do not have to tell her how. She knows my likes, she knows my dislikes; from eating, to clothing, to attitude. These are things that we discussed very early on in our relationship; and after three years, if she does not know that I dislike seafood, or that I dislike seeing her in denim, then she would obviously not be a very good slave for me, now would she?
Yes, you could take some pointers from her, and probably learn quite a bit. Providing of course that you were open to other views, and not so close minded and sarcastic of others who do not share your own.

If they are no more than  a means of drawing closer with him; that is fine. However, your exact words were
quote:

  I was curious if any other submissives have little "projects" that their dominant people have assigned for them to better their minds in some way to be more pleasing

and it is to this which I answered. 

_____________________________

Chris



(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Improving One's Mind for Their Dominant - 7/13/2006 3:51:39 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		Im happy for you in the bliss you find with your submissive. No sarcasm whatsoever,... may we all find such perfection in our mates.

I did not mean to denigrate your submissive or you. If you think it is insulting that others build relationships and are new to each other and find creative ways to get to know each other, that is you opinion. Personally I do not find it offensive that my dominant finds me to be an intelligent woman who is constantly improving her mind and loves the guidance that he gives me to do so in a way that is pleasing to him. If it isn't insulting me, then thats all that counts....Peace

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to TxBadMan)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Improving One's Mind for Their Dominant - 7/13/2006 3:54:35 PM   
subedana


Posts: 100
Joined: 7/12/2004
Status: offline 		Jim doesn't assign tasks or things for me to do to improve my mind. I love to read and we both listen to the news constantly.
So, just doing those two things improves my mind. But I'm a brat, I'm not doing it just for Jim, I'm doing it for myslef also.

(in reply to TxBadMan)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Improving One's Mind for Their Dominant - 7/13/2006 7:25:26 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TxBadMan

quote:

I was curious if any other submissives have little "projects" that their dominant people have assigned for them to better their minds in some way to be more pleasing

I found my girl pleasing from the first day I met her, and she has continued to be so without me having to tell her how to do it. Personally, I find the idea of telling her to read a certain book, or watch a certain movie, just so she could be  more pleasing; to be quite an insult. But that is just my own personal view on it.


I found this a rather odd thing to say.  Maybe I am not understanding your perspective. In my case, he is pleased as punch with my service, but finds it healthy for any individual to expand his/her mind.  The more knowledge gained, the more items to have conversation over, the greater one's scope.  He continues to add to his own credentials, and expects me to add to mine.  As he once said, "I am not impressed with underachievement."  I think it would be really cool to read the same books as he does, so we could share them and talk about them.  I'd be rather confused if he thought my desire for that to be insulting.  While I currently please him quite well, I can't imagine not wanting to do more and more to please him even more.  Every time I think I've given him Utopia, I find there is even more to give. 

(in reply to TxBadMan)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Improving One's Mind for Their Dominant - 7/13/2006 7:53:05 PM   
stardancer00


Posts: 60
Joined: 7/6/2005
Status: offline 		"The more knowledge gained, the more items to have conversation over, the greater one's scope.  He continues to add to his own credentials, and expects me to add to mine.  As he once said, "I am not impressed with underachievement."  - ownedgirlie

Whenever a Master has taken the time to develop me in any way for His benefit, i have been grateful.  i want to be the best that i can be in all ways. 


(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Improving One's Mind for Their Dominant - 7/13/2006 7:58:38 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mavis

Shared interest in continuous education is very appealing for me.  i've been set on greek word studies, bio-hazard research, the history of and modern industry of leather making, and movies, new and old that illustrate lifestyle precepts or regular life stuff.

He has a penchant for using certain shows and movies as lessons.. and once as a punishment.  (punishment that fits the crime this well is actually a lesson!)

After a tone in my voice during an..  erm..  "wrongly balanced discussion", i was directed to get the Star Trek IV movie (the one with the whales)   There is a spot where the whale researcher-lady says to Kirk something like, "Who ARE You people?  He calls you "Sir" without actually saying it."

i was told to watch that movie over and over one weekend, paying attention to Spocks word choices, tone, and inflections, until i could carry a conversation that  conferred respect with just my tone of voice.   As lame as the idea of using Star trek, of all things, as a training tool, it was one of the best lessons i ever learned.  Course, for a while,  my ears felt pointy, and i had this urge to tap my communicator before speaking...


LOL Mavis .
 
This is a wonderful thread, julia.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to Mavis)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Improving One's Mind for Their Dominant - 7/13/2006 8:07:13 PM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline 		I'm an education junky as it is. I've never found I needed to specifically improve my mind for a Dominant though.

I'm always willing to take advice on good authors and such though but that is from anyone. I always appreciate hearing of a new Author or something that might catch my interest.

I'm an admitted nerd though hehe.    I'll read almost anything. I'll study anything at school that catches my interested. Heck I even took courses for no credit so that I could audit the class. I've read medical journals, or business periodicals for fun.

Good lord, I think i need a life LMAO
.

_____________________________

I'm confused.... No wait!!! Maybe I'm not

It's not a blonde moment! It's momentary peroxide posioning. ;)

Your pain makes me smile ~ Happy Bunny

532-095-649

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Improving One's Mind for Their Dominant - 7/13/2006 8:18:41 PM   
Tikkiee


Posts: 1099
Joined: 4/6/2006
Status: offline
quote:

I found this a rather odd thing to say.  Maybe I am not understanding your perspective. In my case, he is pleased as punch with my service, but finds it healthy for any individual to expand his/her mind.  The more knowledge gained, the more items to have conversation over, the greater one's scope.  He continues to add to his own credentials, and expects me to add to mine.  As he once said, "I am not impressed with underachievement."  I think it would be really cool to read the same books as he does, so we could share them and talk about them.  I'd be rather confused if he thought my desire for that to be insulting.  While I currently please him quite well, I can't imagine not wanting to do more and more to please him even more.  Every time I think I've given him Utopia, I find there is even more to give. 

This is actually more of a generalized reply:
 
I guess I fnd myself in the area with Chris and Lyssa when they say that if someone was to tell me to read something, or watch something; simply because he found my conversation to be lacking, I would take it as an insult also.
Now, I am guessing that Juliaoceania, when she worded her question, did not intend for it to come across in this way; however, that was how I interperted it. I can understand why Chris said what he did in regards to this.
 
 

_____________________________

~~@ cass @~~

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Improving One's Mind for Their Dominant - 7/13/2006 8:45:32 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: akisha

I'm an education junky as it is. I've never found I needed to specifically improve my mind for a Dominant though.

I'm always willing to take advice on good authors and such though but that is from anyone. I always appreciate hearing of a new Author or something that might catch my interest.

I'm an admitted nerd though hehe.    I'll read almost anything. I'll study anything at school that catches my interested. Heck I even took courses for no credit so that I could audit the class. I've read medical journals, or business periodicals for fun.

Good lord, I think i need a life LMAO
.


I took a hiatus off school to care for an ailing family member, and my Dom, Sinergy, seems to understand that I need great deal of intellectual stimulation that college used to give to me before I received my degree... I really need to get into graduate school before my brain shrinks away to nothingness...lol

Level, I thought it would be interesting too

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 7/13/2006 8:48:01 PM >

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to akisha)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Improving One's Mind for Their Dominant - 7/13/2006 8:47:02 PM   
PrincessGirlie


Posts: 13
Joined: 3/25/2006
Status: offline 		The very first (even before knew what we called it) saw my love for historical things and such and reccomended that I start taking more history corses...  I thought I hated history, but what I did not like was the history the high school football coach was "teaching".  I was a Theatre Major at the time and started with theatrical history courses so that I could apply those to the credits I needed.  He kept pushing and then started pointing out courses in the catalouge that he knew I would enjoy if I opened my mind to them.  He had other reasons...his mother was president of every historical society / Daughters of the Republic / Confederacy...etc etc...so he thought we would need somthing to talk about other then the latest Neiman's Dream Book   From this I found a love for my own geneolgical back ground and started researching that...Getting a second degree in history focussing on southern culture....to assisting a professor with the research of a few of his books...writing historical romance / erotica...  I was going to go on to teach history at the university level but had to postpone the rest of my education due to caring for my grnadmother after a stroke....my father after a car accident and being in a coma...and then both of them passing...just never got back.  But my undergrad studies helps me in my job everyday.  I work with people who have Alzhiemers and I can just bring up basic historical facts as a way to get them to tell thier stories w/cueing. 

I have had others who have asked that I learn / read / research other things...nothing as significant as this.  I love to learn and debate / discuss things so it is somethng I will never mind.  What I will mind is a mate who does not challenge my mind along with challenging my body.

Girlie

(in reply to Tikkiee)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Improving One's Mind for Their Dominant - 7/13/2006 9:31:51 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

ORIGINAL: akisha

I'm an education junky as it is. I've never found I needed to specifically improve my mind for a Dominant though.

I'm always willing to take advice on good authors and such though but that is from anyone. I always appreciate hearing of a new Author or something that might catch my interest.

I'm an admitted nerd though hehe.    I'll read almost anything. I'll study anything at school that catches my interested. Heck I even took courses for no credit so that I could audit the class. I've read medical journals, or business periodicals for fun.

Good lord, I think i need a life LMAO
.


I took a hiatus off school to care for an ailing family member, and my Dom, Sinergy, seems to understand that I need great deal of intellectual stimulation that college used to give to me before I received my degree... I really need to get into graduate school before my brain shrinks away to nothingness...lol

Level, I thought it would be interesting too


Hello A/all,

Thank you for allowing me to post on this thread.  I am a longshoreman (read: sitting around all day on the payroll waiting for the shift to end) and determined early on that it was important
to read on the job to keep my brain awake.

Go ahead, ask me anything you ever wanted to know about correllated vs. uncorrellated carbon dating or the Papacy in the 11th
century.  I dare you.

I view the mind of juliaoceania as a sort of tabula rasa which I must ruin by making her watch movies like Fight Club and The Big Lebowski and forcing her to write essays on their social relevance.

Spanking, butt sex, and ordering her to clean the house is so Yesterday's BDSM.

Be well,

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Improving One's Mind for Their Dominant - 7/13/2006 9:37:00 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		For those who want to know what Sinergy is talking about with the tabula rasa reference I thought I would include this link http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tabula_rasa

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Improving One's Mind for Their Dominant - 7/13/2006 10:19:17 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Tikkiee

quote:

I found this a rather odd thing to say.  Maybe I am not understanding your perspective. In my case, he is pleased as punch with my service, but finds it healthy for any individual to expand his/her mind.  The more knowledge gained, the more items to have conversation over, the greater one's scope.  He continues to add to his own credentials, and expects me to add to mine.  As he once said, "I am not impressed with underachievement."  I think it would be really cool to read the same books as he does, so we could share them and talk about them.  I'd be rather confused if he thought my desire for that to be insulting.  While I currently please him quite well, I can't imagine not wanting to do more and more to please him even more.  Every time I think I've given him Utopia, I find there is even more to give. 

This is actually more of a generalized reply:
 
I guess I fnd myself in the area with Chris and Lyssa when they say that if someone was to tell me to read something, or watch something; simply because he found my conversation to be lacking, I would take it as an insult also.
Now, I am guessing that Juliaoceania, when she worded her question, did not intend for it to come across in this way; however, that was how I interperted it. I can understand why Chris said what he did in regards to this.
 
 


That's where I see it differently.  I do not take it as "lacking."  He does not think I am "lacking."  But growth, development, expansion, incorporating new ideas and information - - how can that not possibly be a good thing?  And as pleased as he is with me, why would I not want to be even more pleasing?  Life always gives us new things to learn.  It's all a matter of whether we want to learn it.  I will never settle for an "OK I'm smart enough/pleasing enough/amusing enough/sexy enough" attitude.  That he knows that about me and helps me to develop that only means he is good for me.

I suppose in ways it is lacking, depending on how you look at it.  I am lacking knowledge in all the areas I do not have knowledge about.  That does not mean that I am lacking as a person.  It just means I haven't reached perfection..........yet

(in reply to Tikkiee)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Improving One's Mind for Their Dominant - 7/13/2006 11:06:17 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Tikkiee

quote:

I found this a rather odd thing to say.  Maybe I am not understanding your perspective. In my case, he is pleased as punch with my service, but finds it healthy for any individual to expand his/her mind.  The more knowledge gained, the more items to have conversation over, the greater one's scope.  He continues to add to his own credentials, and expects me to add to mine.  As he once said, "I am not impressed with underachievement."  I think it would be really cool to read the same books as he does, so we could share them and talk about them.  I'd be rather confused if he thought my desire for that to be insulting.  While I currently please him quite well, I can't imagine not wanting to do more and more to please him even more.  Every time I think I've given him Utopia, I find there is even more to give. 

This is actually more of a generalized reply:
 
I guess I fnd myself in the area with Chris and Lyssa when they say that if someone was to tell me to read something, or watch something; simply because he found my conversation to be lacking, I would take it as an insult also.
Now, I am guessing that Juliaoceania, when she worded her question, did not intend for it to come across in this way; however, that was how I interperted it. I can understand why Chris said what he did in regards to this.
 
 


I do not believe it was the way it was worded, I believe the "offense" would be in the way it was read. Why anyone should tell anyone else that their dominant is insulting them in some way if they do not feel that way themselves is beyond me. I am not going to take his reply personal anymore, but to be honest I kinda did at first because I felt he was insulting me more than my Dom ever has.  I felt he was insulting my Dom even more. I would rather not take offense over a few words on a message board. I meant every word in my opening post. I want to improve my mind for my Dom, and I see nothing intrinsically wrong with this. I have been improving it for myself for a very long time. But we are all allowed opinions. I personally feel there is always room for improvement of a relationship and of myself. If he has a problem with me he could at least not take it out on my Dominant, he has nothing to do with it.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Tikkiee)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Improving One's Mind for Their Dominant - 7/14/2006 7:21:09 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

Kind of hard to explain. In most of this I outpace him. So, in some cases he's actually asked me to educate him regarding things like wine and opera. We were just raised very differently and exposed to different "culture".

What he has asked me to learn about are things that are passions for him like baseball and auto racing so that I can provide good company for him and hold conversations with him regarding his chosen subjects.


I think that learning about things outside of our experience is an improvement of self, there must be a joy in exchanging experiences with someone you care for outside of your own experience... they get to see your reaction to everything new, and you get to see their pleasure in things that seem tired or mundane... must be a quite lovely experience.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Improving One's Mind for Their Dominant - 7/14/2006 8:57:37 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bandit25


Well, I haven't been told to do any project, but I have tried to gather information about His line of work so when He talks about it, I can follow with some intelligence.


I posted about my job a while ago in an attempt to enlighten those who exist in worlds where things make sense.

http://www.collarchat.com/tm.asp?m=20650&mpage=1&key=clipboard

http://www.collarchat.com/tm.asp?m=20650&mpage=2&key=clipboard&#21721


Just me, could be wrong.

Sinergy

< Message edited by Sinergy -- 7/14/2006 8:59:38 PM >

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to bandit25)
Profile   Post #: 40
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