Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Curious as to the direction of bdsm relationships with evolution of the Internet


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Curious as to the direction of bdsm relationships with evolution of the Internet Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Curious as to the direction of bdsm relationships with ... - 11/20/2014 8:54:41 PM   
FriendlyMuppet


Posts: 171
Joined: 11/16/2010
From: Corpus Christi, Texas
Status: offline 		I preface this with a bit of information that some may already know. I've been around the bdsm community pretty much since the dawn of the Internet. That doesn't mean I'm some kind of expert or anything, but just points out that I've been part of the bdsm community since about the time we moved online.

In the beginning, we mostly participated with newsgroups, then message boards and then into site specific communication vehicles like we have today (like collarspace). Some of the things that we observed during this time was the advent of a lot of dishonesty interlaced into the community as real life interactions were quickly replaced with the anonymity of people not knowing who you are (which has developed all sorts of different problems, like disappearing contacts, scams, etc.

So, my question is more of a conjecture, or predictive concept, but I'm curious where you all think it's going to go from here? Or are we already there where it's reached its apex and it's done changing?

Any predictions on how the social network aspect of bdsm might still evolve in the years to come, which might predicate certain possibilities, like bdsm becoming more mainstream, a social upheaval that might cause it to become much more popular (or through some kind of religious or quasi-moral response become even less inclusive and acceptable)?

To give an example, when I first started in the scene, submissives were generally part of a demographic that was expected to be quiet and responsive mostly to dominants who were inhabiting the known online mediums (like electronic bulletin boards (bbs systems)), but quickly more and more submissive entities became more vocal and actually joined up to interact in ways that helped a lot of others who were thinking of going the submissive route to then participate because they could identify with people like them, when before they were mostly reclusive and convinced there weren't many others like them.

So, with that kind of though process in mind, has anyone "seen" where this whole endeavor might take us next, or if not, where you would like to see it continue to evolve?

_____________________________

My Novels:
The Cell's Door: http://amzn.to/19I6VA1
Forced to Serve: http://amzn.to/108DByv
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Curious as to the direction of bdsm relationships w... - 11/20/2014 9:06:09 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		Mainstream, baby. Both CSpace and FetLife will become unnecessary. I met my lady friend on a completely different site, and it turned out she'd been active in her local community as both dom and sub. We didn't know this about each other until maybe our third week in bed together, and then it was game on.

If this relationship ends, I won't have any need to "date kinky" ever again. I can date normally, under the age limit of internet-savvy women. You have to understand, nerdy women under a certain age have probably seen more hentai porn than you have -- even if they ran into it by accident when surfing /b/. Weird fetishes, and bossing people around, are more normalized than at any previous time in history.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to FriendlyMuppet)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Curious as to the direction of bdsm relationships w... - 11/20/2014 9:30:15 PM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline 		To tell you the truth, Muppet, I don't want to see BDSM going mainstream. How many Jackass-show spin-offs will there be, then reality TV, just lots more stupid shite than what's already portrayed in porn.

Besides, personally speaking, I don't need more kinky dudes on dating sites looking to get Topped by a Domme. There are more than enough of them as it is, looking to get their freak on.

I'd hate to see us (you and me) who embrace lifestyle D/s go the way of the dinosaur.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to FriendlyMuppet)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Curious as to the direction of bdsm relationships w... - 11/20/2014 9:39:25 PM   
GoddessManko


Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline 		Mostly commercialized and porn driven for the younger ones, with more vanilla inductions into the kink realm but with a very light handed touch. Not the sadism of yesteryear. Even criticism freaks these boys out. I think many will play but not want to be committed to D/s full time. There is not a huge spirit of mentorship online so I think many will just try to feel their way through the nuances. Judgement is not terribly welcoming as we all know. Que sera and all that.

_____________________________

Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

http://submissivemale.blogspot.com/

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Curious as to the direction of bdsm relationships w... - 11/21/2014 2:07:23 AM   
starkem


Posts: 159
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		I don't like where the church is going in terms of new and younger members or their selfish ideals. It is disheartening to see my mothers example of devout Christianity put to shame by those who will bring mockery to the austere life represented by her in the past. I hope this gives some parallel and perspective to understand I see your point. My mother would say, I want that ol' time religion -longing for the way it originated and thrived (perhaps in observing the ideals of her generations past). It's all about perspective.

Unfortunately, generations change the paradigm in ways that are suitable to them rather than adopt to the classics. You will find very people still saying thee, thou, ye, etc. One might consider some of the ways of communicating the English language, at present, to be a bastardization. Of course you are not saying that about BDSM.

The one constant about change is that it is always changing. It would be hard to fathom a prediction of the future to this thing of ours. One can be certain, however, that this will not be your father's Oldsmobile. I venture to say, it will become something you are not used to or willing to accept, ironically. The very thing that you ponder is looking back on you as outdated and antiquated. Not you personally, but as an observation of what is trending and how things evolve.

If there is any consolation, the old "ways" tend to come back back in style. I'm still waiting for bell bottom pants to come back around again. I still have my gear. Do you see the obscurity and irony in that? We are on the cusp of a new wave approaching, but we have to surf (the Internet) or become irrelevant. The future of technology in general is blurring the lines between cyber and the virtual. BDSM may be no different than the technological waves that drive future advances. Try to keep up. ;)

(in reply to GoddessManko)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Curious as to the direction of bdsm relationships w... - 11/21/2014 2:22:44 AM   
epiphiny43


Posts: 688
Joined: 10/20/2006
Status: offline 		The change isn't even started well. Coming are virtual experience media that will threaten most current social interaction. 'Sex suits' and other obvious ways to monetize the growing understanding of communicating with the nervous system to create 'experiences' has been science fiction in the past, it's now in testing. When online personalities are indistinguishable as virtual constructs or actual people, the 'scene' changes totally. Suddenly there Are enough Dommes to go around, which may devastate a few now privileged participants. Nobody knows where all that will head. Who could have predicted the science data communication 'net' would turn into Facebook and Ebay/Amazon, and probably reorganize most merchandizing planet wide? Kink sure won't be expressed the same.

(in reply to starkem)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Curious as to the direction of bdsm relationships w... - 11/21/2014 2:31:59 AM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: epiphiny43

Suddenly there Are enough Dommes to go around, which may devastate a few now privileged participants.... Kink sure won't be expressed the same.

Thank God all these chastity slaves will finally be able to get themselves virtual Keyholder Mistresses. Somebody ought to get in on this at the subscription level and rake in the moolah.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to epiphiny43)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Curious as to the direction of bdsm relationships w... - 11/21/2014 2:48:37 AM   
starkem


Posts: 159
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		I'm sure someone is sitting in a lab, filled with sinister laughter as lightning is popping off in the background, thinking this very same thing.

(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Curious as to the direction of bdsm relationships w... - 11/21/2014 3:57:28 AM   
smileforme50


Posts: 1623
Joined: 1/24/2013
From: DelaWHERE(?)
Status: offline 		I'm not optimistic about the future of it all. If you think about how vanilla dating has changed.....dating used to be "one guy...one girl", but if you look at college campuses these days there is very little one on one dating like there used to be in my day. Now they go out in groups and it's very casual and none of them are looking for any commitment of any kind. People are waiting until they are older to get married compared to 25+ years ago, So as far as bdsm goes, I think it's going to move to a much more casual "bedroom play" atmosphere and away from the more committed Master/slave relationship.

I also think that the changes our society has gone through has made it a lot more socially acceptable for male subs to be who they really are. Back in the 40's and 50's, men were the head of the household and women followed, and being a male submissive was as much in the closet as being homosexual. Now, even if being into bdsm and D/s isn't completely socially acceptable in the vanilla world, it is a lot more acceptable to be a male sub than it was 60+ years ago.

I'm not sure where I see things moving as far as the internet and technology.....I'll have to think about that some more.

_____________________________

“Give it to me!” she yelled
“I’m so fucking wet! Give it to me now!”

She could scream all she wanted…..I was keeping the umbrella.

(in reply to starkem)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Curious as to the direction of bdsm relationships w... - 11/21/2014 4:57:57 AM   
MariaB


Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		I got out my crystal ball this morning and this is what I saw

It will move forward before it starts to look back and I believe it needs to do this.

The fun side of BDSM will become more main stream (that is already happening at a rapid rate of knots). People will no longer need to join BDSM sites to declare they are into BDSM. The scene will dilute and more and more, fetish clubs will become alternative clubs and then main stream clubs and everyone will celebrate how cool it is to be so open minded.

D/s still needs a stable base though. I believe it will become unstructured for a while but not for long. There will always be serious D/sers and those willing to revive what they once had. People will rebuild and recapture the spirit behind D/s and the relationships formed upon it. Whilst the fun BDSMers will become more a “flash in the pan”, D/sers will revive the essence of something that even today is based on many old fashioned values.

D/s is less likely to be accepted as main stream because even those into fun BDSM will see it as a sexual act and sexual acts will always be guarded from children and indeed the general public. D/s is usually subtle but it doesn't have to be. A dominant man making his submissive sit on the floor and kiss his feet in a restaurant or a dominant woman have her slaves carry her on a thrown chair through the town are on the other end of the D/s scale. Because the policing of the general public is on the up, I doubt the later part of D/s would be accepted into the publics full view any time in the near future.

_____________________________

My store is http://e-stimstore.com

(in reply to smileforme50)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Curious as to the direction of bdsm relationships w... - 11/21/2014 5:06:33 AM   
ExiledTyrant


Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB

I got out my crystal ball this morning and this is what I saw

It will move forward before it starts to look back and I believe it needs to do this.



OMG you antiquated WITCH! Get in this century already!

http://www.ask8ball.net/

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to MariaB)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Curious as to the direction of bdsm relationships w... - 11/21/2014 5:25:09 AM   
MariaB


Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline
http://www.ask8ball.net/ Where do you find these things?!? Looks like my witchery is obsolete.

_____________________________

My store is http://e-stimstore.com

(in reply to ExiledTyrant)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Curious as to the direction of bdsm relationships w... - 11/21/2014 5:37:47 AM   
ExiledTyrant


Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB


http://www.ask8ball.net/ Where do you find these things?!? Looks like my witchery is obsolete.


I was Cassandra of Troy in a past life and the omniscience bled through... naturally, and by the very nature of who I was, you won't believe me.

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to MariaB)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Curious as to the direction of bdsm relationships w... - 11/21/2014 5:46:03 AM   
MariaB


Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		Of course I believe you but only if I can call you Cass from now on ?

_____________________________

My store is http://e-stimstore.com

(in reply to ExiledTyrant)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Curious as to the direction of bdsm relationships w... - 11/21/2014 5:48:52 AM   
ExiledTyrant


Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB

Of course I believe you but only if I can call you Cass from now on ?


You know, sending nudes with that request has a lot more persuasive power.

Jus sayin

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to MariaB)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Curious as to the direction of bdsm relationships w... - 11/21/2014 5:55:09 AM   
NookieNotes


Posts: 1720
Joined: 11/10/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

quote:

ORIGINAL: epiphiny43

Suddenly there Are enough Dommes to go around, which may devastate a few now privileged participants.... Kink sure won't be expressed the same.

Thank God all these chastity slaves will finally be able to get themselves virtual Keyholder Mistresses. Somebody ought to get in on this at the subscription level and rake in the moolah.


Ooooh! I'm seeing automated emails messages, tasks, etc. Different clicks and engagements will take them into different "Choose-Your-Own-Adventure" style emails, with pre-recorded voice recordings or videos attached.

Two people could handle a thousand chaste men, easy...

Anyone want to partner? *grins*

_____________________________

Nookie
--
https://datingkinky.com

I Write! A few of my books on Amazon: http://amazon.com/author/msnnotes

(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Curious as to the direction of bdsm relationships w... - 11/21/2014 5:57:14 AM   
ExiledTyrant


Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes

quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

quote:

ORIGINAL: epiphiny43

Suddenly there Are enough Dommes to go around, which may devastate a few now privileged participants.... Kink sure won't be expressed the same.

Thank God all these chastity slaves will finally be able to get themselves virtual Keyholder Mistresses. Somebody ought to get in on this at the subscription level and rake in the moolah.


Ooooh! I'm seeing automated emails messages, tasks, etc. Different clicks and engagements will take them into different "Choose-Your-Own-Adventure" style emails, with pre-recorded voice recordings or videos attached.

Two people could handle a thousand chaste men, easy...

Anyone want to partner? *grins*


There will be a Santa Claws x-mass special, right?


_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to NookieNotes)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Curious as to the direction of bdsm relationships w... - 11/21/2014 6:08:59 AM   
MariaB


Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant


quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB

Of course I believe you but only if I can call you Cass from now on ?


You know, sending nudes with that request has a lot more persuasive power.

Jus sayin


Darn ok, some nudes of my husband are on the way!


_____________________________

My store is http://e-stimstore.com

(in reply to ExiledTyrant)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Curious as to the direction of bdsm relationships w... - 11/21/2014 6:22:54 AM   
ExiledTyrant


Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB


quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant


quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB

Of course I believe you but only if I can call you Cass from now on ?


You know, sending nudes with that request has a lot more persuasive power.

Jus sayin


Darn ok, some nudes of my husband are on the way!



YAY!!!!

NookieNotes, the black mail ring is falling into place nicely.


_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to MariaB)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Curious as to the direction of bdsm relationships w... - 11/21/2014 6:52:13 AM   
NookieNotes


Posts: 1720
Joined: 11/10/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

YAY!!!!

NookieNotes, the black mail ring is falling into place nicely.



Damn! That could be an upsell. This could make a TON of money! Let's do it!

*grins*


_____________________________

Nookie
--
https://datingkinky.com

I Write! A few of my books on Amazon: http://amazon.com/author/msnnotes

(in reply to ExiledTyrant)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Curious as to the direction of bdsm relationships with evolution of the Internet Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094