Things I wish I had known when I was younger. (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion



Message

pleasesir88 -> Things I wish I had known when I was younger. (11/23/2014 8:15:02 PM)

Exactly what it says on the tin.

What are somethings that you wish you had known when you were younger/started getting into BDSM?

For me, it was that an older dominant doesn't necessarily mean experienced or trustworthy, and that nothing replaces good ol' discussion on limits and interests.



shiftyw -> RE: Things I wish I had known when I was younger. (11/23/2014 8:21:49 PM)

Being "less than" TPE (Total Power Exchange) is perfectly fine.



sexyred1 -> RE: Things I wish I had known when I was younger. (11/23/2014 8:30:25 PM)

That being wildly attracted physically is not enough to make up for lack of compatibility.

And that I am my kind of sub, no matter what you think.



Missokyst -> RE: Things I wish I had known when I was younger. (11/23/2014 8:33:44 PM)

I wish I had known that this stuff isn't what everyone did behind closed doors.


quote:

ORIGINAL: pleasesir88

Exactly what it says on the tin.

What are somethings that you wish you had known when you were younger/started getting into BDSM?

For me, it was that an older dominant doesn't necessarily mean experienced or trustworthy, and that nothing replaces good ol' discussion on limits and interests.




smileforme50 -> RE: Things I wish I had known when I was younger. (11/23/2014 8:42:47 PM)

I just wish I would have been able to get involved in it lot sooner than I did. I really wish I was a lot younger when I first started.



shiftyw -> RE: Things I wish I had known when I was younger. (11/23/2014 9:13:44 PM)

Also that I shouldn't consider enjoying sex, enjoying both sexes, and enjoying having multiple partners a slutty thing to do.



Gauge -> RE: Things I wish I had known when I was younger. (11/23/2014 9:19:10 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: smileforme50

I just wish I would have been able to get involved in it lot sooner than I did. I really wish I was a lot younger when I first started.


Ditto.

It wasn't until after my divorce in 2000 that I was properly introduced to who I was.



pleasesir88 -> RE: Things I wish I had known when I was younger. (11/24/2014 12:19:55 AM)

I forgot one.

That ignoring safewords isn't "pushing limits", it's just fucking rude and/or dangerous.



ExiledTyrant -> RE: Things I wish I had known when I was younger. (11/24/2014 3:42:25 AM)

That not everyone possesses integrity.



MariaB -> RE: Things I wish I had known when I was younger. (11/24/2014 5:26:00 AM)

That not everyone into this are going to be tolerant and open minded.

That some scene people are just as big a back stabbers as none scene people and some can be just as indiscreet with your information as your nosey gossiping neighbour.



SpyUnderCover -> RE: Things I wish I had known when I was younger. (11/24/2014 8:49:59 AM)

1. That no one but I can decide if I am a "real" dominant. And if my style works for me, no one has the right to tell me I'm "doing it wrong."


2. That there are people involved in BDSM who have identities outside of it. Not everyone goes around winking and making sly, sophomoric comments about their kink all time.

Spy



FieryOpal -> RE: Things I wish I had known when I was younger. (11/24/2014 11:45:05 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SpyUnderCover

1. That no one but I can decide if I am a "real" dominant. And if my style works for me, no one has the right to tell me I'm "doing it wrong."

2. That there are people involved in BDSM who have identities outside of it. Not everyone goes around winking and making sly, sophomoric comments about their kink all time.

Spy

I'll second yours and also MariaB's post, although I've been lucky in that regard (other than having had nosy gossiping neighbors!).

Spy, I can't speak for you, but I know I have a much softer style of Domination than most other Dominants.

I'll add that I wish when we were starting out, that I knew S&M didn't have to be a part of D/s, and that D/s can operate separately from the BDSMy things we had heard about. There was a time when we almost got totally turned off to the whole scene.



littleladybug -> RE: Things I wish I had known when I was younger. (11/24/2014 11:53:53 AM)

That this "community" is no more or less than any other. That there always be those who feel that they "know better" or will look down on what you do and how you define yourself because they are insecure.

That people are, at the end of the day, people...and this is what people do.



GoddessManko -> RE: Things I wish I had known when I was younger. (11/24/2014 12:32:14 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SpyUnderCover

1. That no one but I can decide if I am a "real" dominant. And if my style works for me, no one has the right to tell me I'm "doing it wrong."


2. That there are people involved in BDSM who have identities outside of it. Not everyone goes around winking and making sly, sophomoric comments about their kink all time.

Spy


I'm with Fiery, this encompasses it.



InHisHeart -> RE: Things I wish I had known when I was younger. (11/24/2014 1:13:13 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: pleasesir88

What are somethings that you wish you had known when you were younger/started getting into BDSM?


I got involved over 30 years ago but fantasized about it since I was about 12. I had no idea what it was, that there was a name for it or that I wasn't the only one with these desires. Until I met my former Dom/husband when I was in my early 20s, I thought there was something seriously wrong with me. When I met him, everything came together very naturally for us.

I wish I had known that having these desires and knowing this is what I needed within a relationship didn't mean I was fucked up in the head.



Kaliko -> RE: Things I wish I had known when I was younger. (11/24/2014 2:01:34 PM)

Years back, I was intimidated by those that I thought knew better, or more, than I did.

Now I know that I was giving most people far too much credit, and myself not enough.



littleladybug -> RE: Things I wish I had known when I was younger. (11/24/2014 2:30:06 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Kaliko

Years back, I was intimidated by those that I thought knew better, or more, than I did.

Now I know that I was giving most people far too much credit, and myself not enough.


Amen. [:D]



FieryOpal -> RE: Things I wish I had known when I was younger. (11/24/2014 3:12:37 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: InHisHeart

I got involved over 30 years ago but fantasized about it since I was about 12. I had no idea what it was, that there was a name for it or that I wasn't the only one with these desires. Until I met my former Dom/husband when I was in my early 20s, I thought there was something seriously wrong with me. When I met him, everything came together very naturally for us.

I wish I had known that having these desires and knowing this is what I needed within a relationship didn't mean I was fucked up in the head.

You are reminding me of when I was around 8-9 and my early fantasies. I never thought I was effed up in the head, though. I didn't try to act them out with anybodyelse. I considered them more of my private little secret. All of my girl playmates were younger than me (other than classmates at school), so I just figured I was more mature than they were with their typical fairytale scenarios. There were a couple of boy playmates my age or older who would probably have gone along with me, but we were always preoccupied with regular childhood play.

I wasn't fully aware that I was different until I reached 10-11. By then, I could see that other girls weren't aspiring to grow up and find themselves a boyfriend who would become their loveslave & sexslave. [;)] Go figure.



YouName -> RE: Things I wish I had known when I was younger. (11/24/2014 3:27:34 PM)

Ah, I thought I was weird for even considering these type of things at that age. Glad I'm not alone then.



kallisto -> RE: Things I wish I had known when I was younger. (11/24/2014 3:49:50 PM)

That even though I was young and inexperienced and wet behind the ears, didn't mean that my thoughts and ideas and feelings were inadequate or insignificant or didn't carry as much weight.



Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.078125