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Mistress/sub - 11/25/2014 6:32:47 PM   
useyourplaytoy


Posts: 5
Joined: 9/17/2014
Status: offline 		Personally I don't find it topping from the bottom by looking for a Mistress with similar interests. It does seem that way to some, but who can say that a Mistress and sub with similar interests are better or worse off?
I don't mind doing what Mistress wishes but I also feel that it is better if I have an in to the activity or an interest also. I do understand that I am not to be in control but I also feel I am a big part of the dynamic.
Just looking for some experiences or thoughts on this from one and all.
sub/slave
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Mistress/sub - 11/25/2014 7:19:01 PM   
littleladybug


Posts: 1082
Joined: 5/30/2013
Status: offline 		Female sub with male Dom here....but, yes, I absolutely agree with you in terms of finding common interests. In my opinion, it's hardly "topping from the bottom" when you want to find someone for a LTR that you are compatible with.

(in reply to useyourplaytoy)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Mistress/sub - 11/25/2014 7:35:01 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		I agree with littleladybug, and want to also point out that you CANNOT top from the bottom unless you have a relationship with someone. Until you do, there's no Top and no bottom.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to littleladybug)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Mistress/sub - 11/25/2014 7:38:16 PM   
InHisHeart


Posts: 630
Joined: 3/22/2014
Status: offline 		I'm also a female sub with a male Dom and completely agree. IMO, being compatible in all ways is very important in a relationship.

_____________________________

I don't have a bucket list but my fucket list is a mile long.

I would rather have a mind opened by wonder than one closed by belief.


(in reply to useyourplaytoy)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Mistress/sub - 11/25/2014 7:49:06 PM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: useyourplaytoy

Personally I don't find it topping from the bottom by looking for a Mistress with similar interests.

Who told you that this was Topping from the bottom?

I also get the impression that you were led to believe that you are to do whatever your Mistress wants you to do, as if you have no choice in the matter.
Pff-ft. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Both Dominant and submissive should find a partner who is a suitable match and has compatible kinks & fetishes, not to mention vanilla interests in common if at all feasible.
Not doing so is one of the reasons by BDSM relationships have a briefer lifespan than usual.

There is a psychologist named OsideGirl who used to post here often. She said that the average intimate relationship lasts an average of 2 years (until infatuation wears off).
If my memory serves me, the average BDSM liaison only spans 2-4 months on average.
Mutual compatibility and consent are cornerstones of any D/s relationship dynamic, whether it incorporates BDSM or not.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to useyourplaytoy)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Mistress/sub - 11/25/2014 8:05:09 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: useyourplaytoy

Personally I don't find it topping from the bottom by looking for a Mistress with similar interests. It does seem that way to some, but who can say that a Mistress and sub with similar interests are better or worse off?
I don't mind doing what Mistress wishes but I also feel that it is better if I have an in to the activity or an interest also. I do understand that I am not to be in control but I also feel I am a big part of the dynamic.
Just looking for some experiences or thoughts on this from one and all.
sub/slave


If a couple only has one person in it, it is called masturbation.

There is no reason to not look for someone that suits your needs and interests. I would call that wise.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to useyourplaytoy)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Mistress/sub - 11/26/2014 2:40:18 AM   
NookieNotes


Posts: 1720
Joined: 11/10/2013
Status: offline 		Every dynamic takes TWO (or more) people. Your needs must be met for a successful long term relationship, just as hers must be.

Making it clear what your needs are is called good communication. Intelligence. Honesty.

NOT topping-from-the bottom.

Which reminds me of a rant I need to write. Thanks for that. *smiles*

_____________________________

Nookie
--
https://datingkinky.com

I Write! A few of my books on Amazon: http://amazon.com/author/msnnotes

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Mistress/sub - 11/26/2014 1:27:20 PM   
RockaRolla


Posts: 1153
Joined: 1/20/2014
From: South Florida
Status: offline 		Submissive doesn't mean doormat, and you deserve to have your needs met too. A big part of the "getting to know you" phase is seeing whether you and your D have compatible interests. This is why I personally discourage playing with someone right off the bat - I've witnessed a lot of scenarios in which that blows up and each party blames the other for not meeting their needs.

Slow down, find a Domme who suits you and whom you suit. Fuck (or don't fuck) the ones who claim doing this is topping from the bottom.

_____________________________

~Roxie

(in reply to useyourplaytoy)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Mistress/sub - 11/26/2014 1:28:40 PM   
RockaRolla


Posts: 1153
Joined: 1/20/2014
From: South Florida
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge
If a couple only has one person in it, it is called masturbation.

Fucking BRILLIANT line.

_____________________________

~Roxie

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Mistress/sub - 11/28/2014 5:36:43 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: useyourplaytoy

Personally I don't find it topping from the bottom by looking for a Mistress with similar interests. It does seem that way to some, but who can say that a Mistress and sub with similar interests are better or worse off?
I don't mind doing what Mistress wishes but I also feel that it is better if I have an in to the activity or an interest also. I do understand that I am not to be in control but I also feel I am a big part of the dynamic.
Just looking for some experiences or thoughts on this from one and all.
sub/slave


If you asked this in English, with some semblance of grammar that had any relationship to known human language....I could help.

(in reply to useyourplaytoy)
Profile   Post #: 10
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