In His/Her best interest (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion



Message

ExiledTyrant -> In His/Her best interest (12/1/2014 3:47:42 PM)

Inspired from the TFTB thread, what do or would you do in the best interest of your D, that would appear that you were attempting to TFTB?

Personally, I would find it less than servile for any /s with me to stand by and allow me to make a, potentially, grievous error. Though I am a dork and like her having a voice, I make it very clear when "silence is golden", generally when I put her on task, don't question, just do. The over all flow of our life and direction, all encompassing, I have a reasonable expectation for input, even to the point she says, "Hey, wait a minute... wait a minute... wait a minute... hey!"

I am very deferential, I will happily defer to superior knowledge, talent, skill, I would be a fool not to utilize those abilities in her. That said, I'm curious how this plays out in your Dynamics.

Jus wunderin



shiftyw -> RE: In His/Her best interest (12/1/2014 4:08:21 PM)

Money stuff.
I'm like...a money champion. To the point where I often [8|] got told to do it in a more TPE setting because the D was too goddamn lazy to learn or care...



SweetForDaddy -> RE: In His/Her best interest (12/1/2014 5:16:39 PM)

I would have no problem pointing it out if I thought he was making any kind of error really. I might be right or I might be wrong about it but if I think he's making some kind of mistake I will say so usually. I can't think of any reason why I wouldn't do that, or why he wouldn't want me to. I don't mean in a nit-picky kind of way but it wouldn't necessarily have to be a serious error either. I can't be in a relationship where I'm worried about voicing my opinion or I'm treading on eggshells around anyone.

If I felt like I was constantly trying to correct him on stuff I would be concerned though, I don't think someone could be my dominant if I felt I was right and they were wrong all of the time.



NookieNotes -> RE: In His/Her best interest (12/1/2014 5:22:20 PM)

I'm still learning this whole "being human" thing, and my Pet is soooo much better at it than I am. A natural.

I expect him to let me know when I am being too logical for company.



kallisto -> RE: In His/Her best interest (12/1/2014 5:40:37 PM)

I would have no problem in telling him if I thought he was making an error. If I have to be afraid of what I'm saying, then I don't need to be in the relationship (and I don't mean being brat or smartassed or anything like that) . And I don't consider it TFTB if I'm protecting him or our relationship from something detrimental or incorrect or not in good taste or whatever ....



GoddessManko -> RE: In His/Her best interest (12/1/2014 5:43:15 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes

I'm still learning this whole "being human" thing, and my Pet is soooo much better at it than I am. A natural.

I expect him to let me know when I am being too logical for company.

Ha! You know what? Ditto, to some degree. We get so used to being thoughtful, methodical, responsible. The "planners" so to speak. We cross the T's and dot the i's so being human is off the table for later. I don't get time off during the holidays and birthdays either. Partly responsible for making both of my nephew's birthdays happen.I honestly hate this time of year because people come to expect this sort of thing from me and truth be told, it gets old. Like "OK, someone else can be the responsible one now."
With my ex, I realized how far removed I had become from the "vanilla society" when I started building up static friendships with people and an actual routine. And I was totally OK with that routine which is amazing for a naturally inquisitive and "roaming" sort of person. Always loving the travel, new places, things, people. For the first time I was living in the now vs planning for the future if that makes sense. I could enjoy just "being". Yes I subbed for him, it was great for a time because I complemented him in all the ways he lacked. Which is something I am good at,"system building". We were saving thousands more every month because he was horrible with finances and I flourish in this department. I did think "fuck! If I marry this guy he will ruin my perfect credit" though. But I helped a lot in such regard. It was nice subbing based on my beliefs because I realized they were not unattainable. I was always thinking of how to make things "better" but this dynamic is tricky for me because it made me "softer" according to some submissive friends. Something that drastically changes my personality makes me pause, it's a lot of power for someone else to have but it is interesting how to this day I am more "sensitive" than I was. I can't even really understand why, very weird.
Post breakup my ex's finances went back in the shitter, he lost 20 lbs of muscles due to not having me cook all the meals and spot him in the gym, admitted laundry and ironing weren't getting done and was eating subway meals on the daily. At least not an expensive restaurant every evening like before we met. He was very handicapped because I spoiled him too much. Pretty much why it ended, it turns out I was better at everything than he was and was mommying him towards the end. It was an insightful experience though. Switching is still an impossible endeavor for me though, power exchange has to be there. This picture from Banksy kind of reminded me of his desperate attempts to get me back after I told him it would predictably happen, LOL.


[image]local://upfiles/1604508/3D87C36108134443A4C4622163D80FB1.jpg[/image]



smileforme50 -> RE: In His/Her best interest (12/1/2014 6:36:16 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw

Money stuff.
I'm like...a money champion. To the point where I often [8|] got told to do it in a more TPE setting because the D was too goddamn lazy to learn or care...



Can I submit to you???

(I'm alright handling my money.....but heaven knows I'm not nearly as responsible as I should be since I have so little to waste.)



shiftyw -> RE: In His/Her best interest (12/1/2014 6:44:08 PM)

Here's my basic formula- varied as needed...

2/3 of your weekly pay check goes to savings/bills.
1/3 goes to checking or cash (or a mix of both, depends what you use)

I seriously have used that since I was 14 cause its what my mom told me to do. If I have a major debt (for me it WAS student loans) I actually set aside extra from that "cash" 1/3 also...so sometimes...its like...5/6ths to savings/bills and 1/6th cashed.
^ That is the current plan my man is on to get down his credit card debt. So he can buy me a ring someday.

ETA (fucking fractions...)





smileforme50 -> RE: In His/Her best interest (12/1/2014 6:51:25 PM)

I can see myself taking over (even without his request or permission) any medical/health issues he might have. I have already done this for partners in the past. It's nothing for me to completely take over when they need to take medication or get tests or make appointments.

I am currently "training" with a Master and his slave. I visit them almost every weekend (and some weekdays), and without him even asking I took over his prescription medicine routines. When I am there I make sure he takes his medicines at the correct time and I make sure that they get refilled at the proper time. I have made and rescheduled appointments for him and made sure he went for tests when he needed to.



Blonderfluff -> RE: In His/Her best interest (12/1/2014 6:53:32 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw

Here's my basic formula- varied as needed...

2/3 of your weekly pay check goes to savings/bills.
1/3 goes to checking or cash (or a mix of both, depends what you use)

I seriously have used that since I was 14 cause its what my mom told me to do. If I have a major debt (for me it WAS student loans) I actually set aside extra from that "cash" 1/3 also...so sometimes...its like...5/6ths to savings/bills and 1/6th cashed.
^ That is the current plan my man is on to get down his credit card debt. So he can buy me a ring someday.

ETA (fucking fractions...)




Shifty. Can I just hi-Jack this thread for one second and say...I have so much admiration for you, sweets. If you were my daughter, I'd be damn proud. ;)



NookieNotes -> RE: In His/Her best interest (12/2/2014 2:46:33 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko

Ha! You know what? Ditto, to some degree. We get so used to being thoughtful, methodical, responsible. The "planners" so to speak. We cross the T's and dot the i's so being human is off the table for later.


Later is rare for me, at least in the ways expected, I suppose.

quote:

This picture from Banksy kind of reminded me of his desperate attempts to get me back after I told him it would predictably happen, LOL.


Yes. I've never understood that way of thinking/behaving. I thank my boy regularly for being mine, and tell him how amazing he is and blessed I am to have him.

Because it's true.



CaptR -> RE: In His/Her best interest (12/2/2014 3:44:25 AM)

Ahhhh Grasshopper... In deference there is wisdom. Does not the tree support the branch that bears fruit in the wind? Do not the blades of grass bend together as one under it's power? Now go, fight the injustice of unequal relationships.... and throw away that fucking flute.



CaptR -> RE: In His/Her best interest (12/2/2014 4:05:09 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes
I am being too logical for company.


This, is priceless. I'm stealing it. :-)



NookieNotes -> RE: In His/Her best interest (12/2/2014 4:48:59 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CaptR

quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes
I am being too logical for company.


This, is priceless. I'm stealing it. :-)


LOL! Enjoy it.

I figure if you have cause to steal it, you know the confusion of being perfectly logical (for the good of all), and people getting all weepy about it.



DesFIP -> RE: In His/Her best interest (12/2/2014 6:45:51 AM)

Tell him he can't go bowling until he's cleared up his paperwork.
Remind him to take his meds.
Keep a list of birthdays of his kids/friends on the fridge for easy access and hassle him about buying stuff for the grands ahead of time.
Tell him when he's missed the exit/going the wrong way. He's managed now to take 84 to CT and also on occasion to take it to PA instead of staying in NY. He has an uncanny ability to not be able to handle that one road.
Yank the cookies away from him, tell him no candy.

Part of my job description is to take care of him. So if he's getting short tempered, I remind him it's time to stop for lunch or have a water.



UnholyBear -> RE: In His/Her best interest (12/2/2014 7:03:44 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

Inspired from the TFTB thread, what do or would you do in the best interest of your D, that would appear that you were attempting to TFTB?

Personally, I would find it less than servile for any /s with me to stand by and allow me to make a, potentially, grievous error. Though I am a dork and like her having a voice, I make it very clear when "silence is golden", generally when I put her on task, don't question, just do. The over all flow of our life and direction, all encompassing, I have a reasonable expectation for input, even to the point she says, "Hey, wait a minute... wait a minute... wait a minute... hey!"

I am very deferential, I will happily defer to superior knowledge, talent, skill, I would be a fool not to utilize those abilities in her. That said, I'm curious how this plays out in your Dynamics.

Jus wunderin


It just makes common sense for a dominant to utilize the knowledge their sub has even if it surpasses the dominant's. The way I look at it, if I had a vehicle that needed repairs and my boy had the knowledge and ability to fix it, you damn right I will defer to his expertise to fix the problem. He is there to serve me and I would hope he had the cajones to speak up and let me know that I was doing something wrong and will end up making the car problem worse. That also applies to the relationship dynamic. I am far from being perfect and if I am about to screw up, then yes I want to be told as in the end, it is to better us both and for the dynamic.



smileforme50 -> RE: In His/Her best interest (12/2/2014 9:33:10 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw

Here's my basic formula- varied as needed...

2/3 of your weekly pay check goes to savings/bills.
1/3 goes to checking or cash (or a mix of both, depends what you use)

I seriously have used that since I was 14 cause its what my mom told me to do. If I have a major debt (for me it WAS student loans) I actually set aside extra from that "cash" 1/3 also...so sometimes...its like...5/6ths to savings/bills and 1/6th cashed.
^ That is the current plan my man is on to get down his credit card debt. So he can buy me a ring someday.

ETA (fucking fractions...)





Ok.... I don't understand this.... I need an illustration or example. To me, "checking" goes with "bills" and "savings" goes with "cash ". Plus....after I pay my "bills" (since my rent is almost half of my net pay), after I pay the rest of my bills, there is no other "fraction " left over for "savings ".


(Sigh)



shiftyw -> RE: In His/Her best interest (12/2/2014 10:24:10 PM)

Ah, well...I have a savings account, and a checking account, I transfer money out of the savings to pay bills every month. <--- because that way you have to really look at it.

Checking is for groceries, mostly, prescriptions, and gas. Cash is sometimes for that too.

Say your weekly paycheck is 300 dollars. For me $150-200 of that goes into savings account, and I don't touch it until the bills are due. 50 I'd put in checking, 50 I would cash. Let's say I don't want to go out to eat that week or don't need spending cash like that. That fifty goes into savings.

At the end of the month I've made 1200 bucks, 800 is for bills and rent 200 was in my checking and I cashed 200. Let's say that cash 200 covered my gas and prescriptions, so I used 150 from my checking for groceries. So I have 50 extra dollars, I'd put at least part of that back into savings to get a head start on the next month. The student loans I paid down for 4 years and was on track to pay them off in ten years, however after my accident I got a settlement that I knew I should immediately use to pay them off forever. I hated them, but I'm so proud of myself for doing it that way cause the temptation to waste that money was huge, but it took such a huge chunk out of my monthly expenses.

Everytime I've found myself running out of money at the end of the month I got a second job, usually just part time, to cover "fun" stuff like food and movies and that stuff. I also coupon, lightly. We shop the sales. For a long time we had given up cable and just had Internet and Hulu and Netflix, I'd do it again but boyfriend likes the sports and news, and we can afford it.




sexyred1 -> RE: In His/Her best interest (12/2/2014 10:45:30 PM)

I think whoever is better at something should do it.

Ego should not get in the way.



Greta75 -> RE: In His/Her best interest (12/2/2014 11:08:22 PM)

I specifically look for partners who are better in areas that I am weak at. And where I am stronger in areas where he is weak at. To me, that's the Ying and Yang.

No self-respecting dom, would believe he is good at every single thing and any wise leader knows how to seek expert advise on matters his not good at. Unless he is really specifically looking for a sub who is worst than him in everything.



Page: [1] 2   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
4.492188E-02