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RE: hazing new posters - 12/11/2014 8:27:12 PM

shiftyw

Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
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I'm 26...and I tried to open my house door with the car key unlock button today

I have no hope for myself.

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RE: hazing new posters - 12/11/2014 8:39:45 PM

GoddessManko

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quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw

I'm 26...and I tried to open my house door with the car key unlock button today
I have no hope for myself.

LOL shifty, too adorable. Imagine it. "Where's my glasses? Where's my glasses?? I just had them..." *Touches top of head* 'Nuff said!

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RE: hazing new posters - 12/11/2014 9:34:59 PM

GotSteel

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal
Is there something wrong with trying to pimp out shifty? Gee, you'd have to ask her that. And her man, assuming that you don't consider poaching to be an achievable kink, that is, and therefore exempt from any censure.

I find the way you look at things just bizarre, I don't even recognize the conversation shifty and I had when you talk about it.

P.S. What was that furry related emoticon about?

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RE: hazing new posters - 12/11/2014 9:47:41 PM

FieryOpal

Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
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quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel

I find the way you look at things just bizarre, I don't even recognize the conversation shifty and I had when you talk about it.

P.S. What was that furry related emoticon about?

Ditto x10. Perhaps you should reread your thread.

I have a friend who doesn't understand what this

means either. I've teased him about being excessively literal-minded.

ETA: You know I was just kidding about the "poaching" comment, don't you?

< Message edited by FieryOpal -- 12/11/2014 9:51:57 PM >

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RE: hazing new posters - 12/12/2014 5:07:08 AM

GotSteel

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal
I have a friend who doesn't understand what this means either. I've teased him about being excessively literal-minded.

I get the first one but I can't quite make out what's going on in the second.

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RE: hazing new posters - 12/12/2014 5:36:16 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
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What I found fascinating is cloudboy's assessment of this as a deliberate slap around the head. Because I didn't read any of that into the opening post. Simply a statement that people should realize that when nobody shares their fetish, that is a fair representation of how lifestyle dommes think.

I found Akasha's suggestion of a site for prodommes who would be interested in helping someone act out a script to be helpful.

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RE: hazing new posters - 12/12/2014 5:40:25 AM

RockaRolla

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quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw

I'm 26...and I tried to open my house door with the car key unlock button today
I have no hope for myself.

I'm 24 and try to unlock the doors at work with my house key (and vice versa) every so often.

I'm confused as to where I actually live.

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RE: hazing new posters - 12/12/2014 5:43:18 AM

FieryOpal

Posts: 2821
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Let's see here...

Tongue Out :p

... I couldn't copy from my e-mail emoticons. I'm not downloading a bunch of toolbars. My search engines are acting up on this stoopid p.c.

Could be Silly...Playful...Juvenile-like "So There"? The one on a smartphone text message looks like emoti is panting, or an "Oh, yeah" or a "Me Likey."
I once had a kitty whose tip of her tongue stuck out (from slight palsy of her jaw) and always looked so cute.

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RE: hazing new posters - 12/12/2014 10:48:44 AM

AAkasha

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quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

Aakasha once started a thread colorably in defense of hazing. Her premise was that deluded malesubs should be slapped upside the head. For her, instead of "hazing" the rough treatment of an OP was a valid, well earned, and deserved reality check.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3018666/mpage_1/key_fat%252Cthreads%252Casshole/tm.htm#3019073

I took issue with her position.

Nice job totally missing the point of my post and that thread. Did you not read the entire post? I closed it with:

"If we can't rely on message boards like this one to bring the balance between fantasy and reality in line, then submissives will just continue to believe that female domination is just like it is in porn. And it isn't. So ladies, keep telling the OP "No, just not into that." -- but maybe, let's try to do a little more, "No, OP, not into that - but, here's what I *am* into, which sounds closer to what you want, but in a more real world kind of way." "

Where do you think "I'm not into that, but here's what I am into which sounds closer to what you want in a real world kind of way" is "hazing"? It's the opposite. It's not bashing people for coming in with their kinks (especially the obscure ones) but trying to give them a rational, real world explanation.

Later in that thread (which was in 2010) I admitted that after some self reflection I think I had been too hard on people and I made an effort to try to not post anything that could be seen as bashing since then. I chalked up the (poor) excuse for it as the fact that we women get bombarded with kinks all day long and should not carry that baggage into here when someone innocently posts a question that may not be phrased right or may be horribly misguided.

You also took the opportunity to take issue with the fact that I am married (happily) and have plenty of play partners. So what? I work hard for all of that. Every single relationship I am in takes tremendous effort by BOTH people to make it work. And just because I don't post on here every time a sub stands me up, uses me, or turns into an asshole or stalker doesn't mean that it does not happen. I just have chosen to try, hard, to not be negative.

Akasha

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RE: hazing new posters - 12/12/2014 10:50:10 AM

mnottertail

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I haz mad hazing skillz.

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RE: hazing new posters - 12/12/2014 2:24:50 PM

crazyml

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I am on the side of the gun toter here.

Fuck, it's not my thing.

But the "Safe" in SSC isn't intended to mean 100% safe, otherwise we wouldn't do anything even faintly risky. It really means "safe enough" for the people concerned.

Jesus.. Skydiving is - to me - absurdly unsafe, but I'm not inclined to get squirrelly about it.

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RE: hazing new posters - 12/12/2014 2:53:53 PM

shiftyw

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quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

I am on the side of the gun toter here.

Fuck, it's not my thing.

But the "Safe" in SSC isn't intended to mean 100% safe, otherwise we wouldn't do anything even faintly risky. It really means "safe enough" for the people concerned.

Jesus.. Skydiving is - to me - absurdly unsafe, but I'm not inclined to get squirrelly about it.

Even after the post where CD said the gun was LOADED?

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RE: hazing new posters - 12/12/2014 4:13:24 PM

CreativeDominant

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quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

I am on the side of the gun toter here.

Fuck, it's not my thing.

But the "Safe" in SSC isn't intended to mean 100% safe, otherwise we wouldn't do anything even faintly risky. It really means "safe enough" for the people concerned.

Jesus.. Skydiving is - to me - absurdly unsafe, but I'm not inclined to get squirrelly about it.

And...as I noted on here...tis my opinion that taking a LOADED gun And shoving it up a woman's pussy, ass or mouth is an idiotic idea that goes against every major rule of gun safety. In my original post on the original thread, I also expressed my hatred of having to pay for someone else's fun when said fun-having person is achieving their fun in an idiotic manner.

Skydiving...you've got a main chute and a back-up chute. You take training beforehand.

Sticking a loaded gun in a woman's mouth, pussy or ass. Buy a gun legally. No training. Stick in woman.

Yeah...I'd tend to think the skydiver is safer than the woman.

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RE: hazing new posters - 12/12/2014 5:17:21 PM

cloudboy

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I think the lines of "honesty," "advice," "truth," and "hazing" of new posters is blurred. I did use the words "reality check" where your point was concerned.

Being on the other end of that "advice," though, I tend to see it's application differently.

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RE: hazing new posters - 12/12/2014 6:15:47 PM

shiftyw

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techinically...none of it is hazing:
haze:

To persecute or harass with meaningless, difficult, or humiliating tasks.

To initiate, as into a college fraternity, by exacting humiliating performances from or playing rough practical jokes upon.

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RE: hazing new posters - 12/12/2014 7:28:41 PM

SDFemDom4cuck

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel

So just in case somebody hasn't heard my spiel by now I'm often horrified by the way new posters are treated around here. Upon stating this in the past I've received the response that usually the new poster does something to instigate the responses and I think that's true.

Sometimes it's the case that the poster has an uncommon kink that doesn't fit in around here, but should we really be throwing rocks over that, seems to me an awful lot like we're living in a glass house on this one.

Sometimes the poster stumbles onto a hotbutton topic, but really how can we reasonably expect someone new to know where all the mines are buried?

Sometimes it's that the poster makes some spelling mistakes or doesn't express themselves well. Thing is expressing oneself on a forum is a skill and we're talking about posters who are new. It's a very rare person who's perfect at well just about anything their first time.

Don't get me wrong, there are work arounds to these problems: learning to post elsewhere/a substantial amount of lurking. But isn't that setting an awfully high bar to be allowed to post here without getting heckled off the site?

I mean we're basically asking new posters to hit the ground running in the middle of a mine field, is it at all surprising that has a tendency of not working out very well!

About this time in my argument someone's apt to make a comment about this is just how it is. Thing is that's not actually true, I can point to examples both in meat space and on fet of communities who are night and day different, think about it for a second, can't all of you do the same?

Actually there was a time it was far worse. I essentially stopped posting completely in Ask A Mistress quite awhile back because of some of the utter crap thst was going on there. Why can't people remember there was a time when they were a newb, and curious, and had 11ty billion questions. Why can't we treat one another with basic human decency within these boards. There's enough hate out there in the world. Why not just answer the question? I miss BitaTrouble. The absolute Queen when it came to linking to previous threads. Sigh.

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RE: hazing new posters - 12/12/2014 11:02:06 PM

FieryOpal

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quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw

techinically...none of it is hazing:
haze:
To persecute or harass with meaningless, difficult, or humiliating tasks.

To initiate, as into a college fraternity, by exacting humiliating performances from or playing rough practical jokes upon.

Good work, shifty. If this term had been defined in the OP to start, instead of being used arbitrarily, this discussion would have been moot insofar as "hazing" goes.

Are there posters who deliberate mislead or heckle newbie OPs uninstigated? I don't see that taking place. Does a consensus of opinion constitute a bullying or ganging-up mentality? I'm not seeing that either, unprovoked by copping a hostile, accustory or confrontational attitude on the part of that particular OP.

Cluing in the clueless, pointing out hypocrisy and/or inconsistencies, is not hazing. Having a newbie rethink his fantastical notion and frame it into a more realistic light is being helpful, not hurtful.

Btw, a newbie just started a thread on drinking urine. Are there Dommes interested in doing that? Do we want the drinkee to enjoy doing it or to dislike it (being "forced" or punished as it were, is how I took him to mean it).
I did not direct him to another site to find a group of piss-drinkers to form a camaraderie with.
He asked for opinions in this matter, and I gave him mine. I told him essentially that he shouldn't exclude (turn off) prospective Golden Shower providers (whether for-hire or not) who would be willing to do the external of pissing on, but might not be into the internal of pissing in.
I suggested he watch a scene from a movie which shows an act of external Golden Showers.
Then I gave him my own personal opinion as a Domme that this is something I would not be interested in, and that whatever I do with my sub, I would want him to enjoy doing.

None of this was a critique of him or of the kink-fetish itself. He asked for and wanted perspectives. Is this an achievable kink or fetish? It's not unachievable, but how deep is his wallet? (Which I did not ask.)
If approaching a Domme or any other woman in real life would cause him to make a fool of himself as a clueless newbie, and he is essentially testing the waters here for (Domme or male sub) response data, then he's not operating in the blind bumping into the walls while trying to navigate his way around.

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RE: hazing new posters - 12/12/2014 11:42:22 PM

DaddySatyr

Posts: 9381
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From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SDFemDom4cuck

quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel

So just in case somebody hasn't heard my spiel by now I'm often horrified by the way new posters are treated around here. Upon stating this in the past I've received the response that usually the new poster does something to instigate the responses and I think that's true.

Sometimes it's the case that the poster has an uncommon kink that doesn't fit in around here, but should we really be throwing rocks over that, seems to me an awful lot like we're living in a glass house on this one.

Sometimes the poster stumbles onto a hotbutton topic, but really how can we reasonably expect someone new to know where all the mines are buried?

Sometimes it's that the poster makes some spelling mistakes or doesn't express themselves well. Thing is expressing oneself on a forum is a skill and we're talking about posters who are new. It's a very rare person who's perfect at well just about anything their first time.

Don't get me wrong, there are work arounds to these problems: learning to post elsewhere/a substantial amount of lurking. But isn't that setting an awfully high bar to be allowed to post here without getting heckled off the site?

I mean we're basically asking new posters to hit the ground running in the middle of a mine field, is it at all surprising that has a tendency of not working out very well!

About this time in my argument someone's apt to make a comment about this is just how it is. Thing is that's not actually true, I can point to examples both in meat space and on fet of communities who are night and day different, think about it for a second, can't all of you do the same?

Actually there was a time it was far worse. I essentially stopped posting completely in Ask A Mistress quite awhile back because of some of the utter crap thst was going on there. Why can't people remember there was a time when they were a newb, and curious, and had 11ty billion questions. Why can't we treat one another with basic human decency within these boards. There's enough hate out there in the world. Why not just answer the question? I miss BitaTrouble. The absolute Queen when it came to linking to previous threads. Sigh.

I think you may be referencing LuckyAlbatross, here?

Michael

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RE: hazing new posters - 12/13/2014 4:15:48 AM

ExiledTyrant

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr

I think you may be referencing LuckyAlbatross, here?

Michael

Yep, Bita is more of a "take a hammer to your toes" kinda girl.

Jus sayin

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RE: hazing new posters - 12/13/2014 7:16:38 AM

GotSteel

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quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml
But the "Safe" in SSC isn't intended to mean 100% safe, otherwise we wouldn't do anything even faintly risky.

Agreed, including having orgasms because even plain old vanilla sex can kill people:

quote:

ORIGINAL: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_during_consensual_sex
Sex is associated with a variety of benefits and also risks. Deaths during consensual sex account for approximately 0.6% of all sudden deaths.

quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml
It really means "safe enough" for the people concerned.

Jesus.. Skydiving is - to me - absurdly unsafe, but I'm not inclined to get squirrelly about it.

I don't know, I think I'd have to consider that RACK not SSC. While nothing, including sitting on a toilet is without risk, some risks are negligible, other risks you actually need to think about and I've always considered that the difference between those terms.

An interesting note on culture differences:

https://fetlife.com/groups/361/group_posts/6329825
Here's a conversation that ended up getting into cannibalism fetishes. Nobody felt the need to come in just to judge, or criticize. It's an entirely positive conversation about how they can be fulfilled and SSC through role-playing.

Whereas over here we can't even have a bit of play piercing come up without being judgmental: