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RE: hazing new posters - 12/10/2014 9:04:15 PM   
shiftyw


Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel

quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw
I've been very conscious about what I post since you started this whole campaign.

I don't think you need to be.

quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw
I don't think this place should be a fetlife directory. Do you?

I think it's a much more elegant solution than hazing.

Instead of all the time and energy it takes for what can be a multiday non-consetual humiliation scene why not spend the 30 seconds necessary to show somebody where they'll fit in? I mean it's a win, win, win scenario. Team clique gets the person to leave, we get a forum that's more pleasant to hang out in and the new poster finds out about a community where they can fit in.

I really don't see a downside.


They won't leave...I'm betting.
And thank you, I'm a mostly nice person...but if tested, I'll dish out the snark as far as I can this side of TOS.

On several other forums I'm on, you aren't allowed to link to other sites...so it's really not something I think of...

(in reply to GotSteel)
Profile   Post #: 221
RE: hazing new posters - 12/10/2014 9:12:05 PM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw


quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel

quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw
I've been very conscious about what I post since you started this whole campaign.

I don't think you need to be.

quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw
I don't think this place should be a fetlife directory. Do you?

I think it's a much more elegant solution than hazing.

Instead of all the time and energy it takes for what can be a multiday non-consetual humiliation scene why not spend the 30 seconds necessary to show somebody where they'll fit in? I mean it's a win, win, win scenario. Team clique gets the person to leave, we get a forum that's more pleasant to hang out in and the new poster finds out about a community where they can fit in.

I really don't see a downside.


They won't leave...I'm betting.
And thank you, I'm a mostly nice person...but if tested, I'll dish out the snark as far as I can this side of TOS.

On several other forums I'm on, you aren't allowed to link to other sites...so it's really not something I think of...
Still likes soft, fluffy bottoms.

(in reply to shiftyw)
Profile   Post #: 222
RE: hazing new posters - 12/10/2014 9:16:55 PM   
shiftyw


Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline
Well you are just a dog with a bone!
Between you and all this gangbang talk AND ten pages, what's a girl to do!

(in reply to CreativeDominant)
Profile   Post #: 223
RE: hazing new posters - 12/10/2014 9:29:51 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel

Instead of all the time and energy it takes for what can be a multiday non-consetual humiliation scene why not spend the 30 seconds necessary to show somebody where they'll fit in? I mean it's a win, win, win scenario. Team clique gets the person to leave, we get a forum that's more pleasant to hang out in and the new poster finds out about a community where they can fit in.



Are you shitting me? You believe there is a concentrated effort to get people to leave the site?

No wonder you never answered me.


_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to GotSteel)
Profile   Post #: 224
RE: hazing new posters - 12/10/2014 9:50:21 PM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw

Well you are just a dog with a bone!
Between you and all this gangbang talk AND ten pages, what's a girl to do!

~bites tongue~

(in reply to shiftyw)
Profile   Post #: 225
RE: hazing new posters - 12/10/2014 10:25:13 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel

quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw
I've been very conscious about what I post since you started this whole campaign.

I don't think you need to be.

quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw
I don't think this place should be a fetlife directory. Do you?

I think it's a much more elegant solution than hazing.

Instead of all the time and energy it takes for what can be a multiday non-consetual humiliation scene why not spend the 30 seconds necessary to show somebody where they'll fit in? I mean it's a win, win, win scenario. Team clique gets the person to leave, we get a forum that's more pleasant to hang out in and the new poster finds out about a community where they can fit in.

I really don't see a downside.


I think I finally see your issue.

You are upset about not being in a clique.

Why not start your own?

Call it White Knights of the Community.

This is starting to make me laugh. Why I should worry about making someone fit in, when I know nothing about them, beyond some strange post, is beyond me.

I come here for entertainment, not to be Julie the Cruise director of the Love Boat.

(in reply to GotSteel)
Profile   Post #: 226
RE: hazing new posters - 12/11/2014 2:37:26 AM   
YouName


Posts: 271
Joined: 10/22/2014
Status: offline
I really hate those forums on which you can't link to other sites.


on topic: I'm sure that some peeps on the lighter side of things, especially in switchyworld would have alot of comments about alot of stuff that has been more or less accepted more or less recently ;-)

< Message edited by YouName -- 12/11/2014 2:44:48 AM >

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 227
RE: hazing new posters - 12/11/2014 3:41:11 AM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant
Still likes soft, fluffy bottoms.


How fluffy are we talking here?





Attachment (1)

(in reply to CreativeDominant)
Profile   Post #: 228
RE: hazing new posters - 12/11/2014 4:00:31 AM   
ExiledTyrant


Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel

quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw
I've been very conscious about what I post since you started this whole campaign.

I don't think you need to be.

quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw
I don't think this place should be a fetlife directory. Do you?

I think it's a much more elegant solution than hazing.

Instead of all the time and energy it takes for what can be a multiday non-consetual humiliation scene why not spend the 30 seconds necessary to show somebody where they'll fit in? I mean it's a win, win, win scenario. Team clique gets the person to leave, we get a forum that's more pleasant to hang out in and the new poster finds out about a community where they can fit in.

I really don't see a downside.


I think I finally see your issue.

You are upset about not being in a clique.

Why not start your own?

Call it White Knights of the Community.

This is starting to make me laugh. Why I should worry about making someone fit in, when I know nothing about them, beyond some strange post, is beyond me.

I come here for entertainment, not to be Julie the Cruise director of the Love Boat.


Geez, red, when you just toss it out there like that it doesn't sound fun. You need to glam it up, and make a nifty tittle of leadership:

White American Community Knight Organizer

See, now I'm going to go work out the acronym for hats and t-shirts.


_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 229
RE: hazing new posters - 12/11/2014 4:12:48 AM   
NookieNotes


Posts: 1720
Joined: 11/10/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

Geez, red, when you just toss it out there like that it doesn't sound fun. You need to glam it up, and make a nifty tittle of leadership:

White American Community Knight Organizer

See, now I'm going to go work out the acronym for hats and t-shirts.



I just fell a little more in love.


_____________________________

Nookie
--
https://datingkinky.com

I Write! A few of my books on Amazon: http://amazon.com/author/msnnotes

(in reply to ExiledTyrant)
Profile   Post #: 230
RE: hazing new posters - 12/11/2014 4:20:05 AM   
YouName


Posts: 271
Joined: 10/22/2014
Status: offline
Rather wacko than things going Waco tho.

(in reply to NookieNotes)
Profile   Post #: 231
RE: hazing new posters - 12/11/2014 4:27:35 AM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant
White American Community Knight Organizer

See, now I'm going to go work out the acronym for hats and t-shirts.


I don't know t-shirts seem rather informal, that sounds more like something that would involve robes






Attachment (1)

(in reply to ExiledTyrant)
Profile   Post #: 232
RE: hazing new posters - 12/11/2014 4:30:21 AM   
NookieNotes


Posts: 1720
Joined: 11/10/2013
Status: offline
~FR~

I've read through this entire thread, and answered a few times. Here's what I see:

People are treated so mean! Why can't they be treated like our friends. [insert example] See! When our friends post asshole-y stuff, we don't treat them mean.

The answer, boys and girls, is human nature. Let me explain.

We ALL put up with more from those we are invested in, who have proven themselves than we do from complete strangers.

I put up with more from my long-term Pet than I would from a petitioning submissive. Why? Because he has already proven his worth. Made enough deposits into the "tolerance" bank that even a large withdrawal will not overdraw.

I put up with more from an expert whose work I respected than I would from some random person on the street. Why? Because I have a history of agreeing with and understanding their POV.

Add to that, as humans, we all have different fear levels which affect our tolerance. The more fearful we are of new things/challenges/things that remind us of bad things from our past/etc., the less tolerance we will show to new people.

THIS IS GOOD for survival. MOST people are like this, because... survival. Those who were suspicious back in caveman days are the ones who survived to pass on their genes. In other words, you have these possible engagements:

FEAR
New person is good, we've already run away, therefore we are safe.
New person is bad, we've already run away, therefore we are safe.

NO FEAR
New person is good, therefore we are safe.
New person is bad, therefore we are dead.

Simplified, but accurate.

It's a watered down version of this everywhere two people interact.

Now, there are ways that new people can enter a group displaying non-threatening/submissive/acceptable behavior. These people will be accepted (even when they are lying), because they have shown they know how that (and other) group works. This gives them a sort of "new-but-one-of-us" temporary membership.

Those who do not take the time to learn those signals show one or more of these things:

1. They are not LIKE US.
2. They do not care enough to fit in, therefore they do not belong.
3. They are a danger to the community (this is evolution at work).
4. There is something actually wrong with them, and they should have been left on a hillside to die.

A bit simplified/tongue-in-cheek, but again, reactive-accurate.

So, while I am that person who ALWAYS treats people with respect (and answers EVERY MESSAGE I RECEIVE), until they show me that they don't deserve it, I have very little sympathy for those who CHOOSE not to learn how to fit in.

Especially because I chose not to learn to fit in until I was 35 years old... and I still suck at it sometimes, because humans are complex and a bit weird to me.

_____________________________

Nookie
--
https://datingkinky.com

I Write! A few of my books on Amazon: http://amazon.com/author/msnnotes

(in reply to NookieNotes)
Profile   Post #: 233
RE: hazing new posters - 12/11/2014 4:40:37 AM   
ExiledTyrant


Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel


quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant
White American Community Knight Organizer

See, now I'm going to go work out the acronym for hats and t-shirts.


I don't know t-shirts seem rather informal, that sounds more like something that would involve robes







Wotever floats your boat, skipper.

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to GotSteel)
Profile   Post #: 234
RE: hazing new posters - 12/11/2014 5:08:13 AM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant
Wotever floats your boat, skipper.


Don't look at me, I just think this environment would be more pleasant if people were a little less prone toward being abusive to each other. This other things completely your idea...

(in reply to ExiledTyrant)
Profile   Post #: 235
RE: hazing new posters - 12/11/2014 5:28:41 AM   
ExiledTyrant


Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel


quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant
Wotever floats your boat, skipper.


Don't look at me, I just think this environment would be more pleasant if people were a little less prone toward being abusive to each other. This other things completely your idea...



Steel, as noble as your mission here is, it is in no way, shape, form or fashion a viable one. As much pissing and whining that has gone on this thread about hazing posters, 90% of that shit NEEDS TO HAPPEN!

Most people that post on here for the very first time fall in one of these categories:

1. Have exhausted all logical/theoretical resources and needs feed back/information.

2. Has a concern/interest and is seeking experienced perspectives.

3. Suddenly realizes the universe does not revolve around them and is attempting to force the gravity to change.

4. Forcibly inserts their kink into everyones face to brow beat them into acceptance.

As you well know that how one is received here is a lot about presentation. I've been around here for a very long time and I have always called a spade a spade and a shovel a shovel. Where I see bull shit, I call bull shit. Where I see tentative trepidation grounded in reason, I will urge the poster to divulge/expound/explore more. There is no fixing stupid:

stu·pid/ˈst(y)o͞opəd/ A stubborn resolve to remain ignorant.
adjective
lacking intelligence or common sense.
noun
a stupid person (often used as a term of address).

There is a fine line between stupid and ignorant. Ignorant I can accept, for it can be educated. Again, the presentation of a post queues compassion or snark. You've seen this just as I have. A well presented post comes along and many posters participate in a positive way until they discover that the well presented post was camouflaged STUPID. Conversely, an apparently stupid post later is revealed as ignorant and the tone shifts from snark to compassion. This is how it is, you know this is how it is, most everyone here knows this is how it is, and yet we have this STUPID thread.

Jus sayin


_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to GotSteel)
Profile   Post #: 236
RE: hazing new posters - 12/11/2014 10:03:35 AM   
MissToYouRedux


Posts: 867
Joined: 1/23/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel

...

Instead of all the time and energy it takes for what can be a multiday non-consetual humiliation scene why not spend the 30 seconds necessary to show somebody where they'll fit in? I mean it's a win, win, win scenario...


I would like to point out that there's currently a topic in Ask a Mistress being politely ignored that seems suitable for your 30 seconds.


_____________________________

- Miss Marie


(in reply to GotSteel)
Profile   Post #: 237
RE: hazing new posters - 12/11/2014 10:24:17 AM   
Musicmystery


Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel


quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant
Wotever floats your boat, skipper.


Don't look at me, I just think this environment would be more pleasant if people were a little less prone toward being abusive to each other. This other things completely your idea...


You'd be more convincing had you not spent a great portion of your tenure here being rude and obnoxious.

If you've had a conversion, congratulations. But pointing at all the remaining sinners is simply your continued old behavior.

At some point, you'll need to face the reality that you are not the messiah. A difficult but important day for you.

(in reply to GotSteel)
Profile   Post #: 238
RE: hazing new posters - 12/11/2014 10:55:34 AM   
UnholyBear


Posts: 661
Joined: 10/19/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant


quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko

To elaborate further, someone is into knife play. Do we suddenly swoop down and tell them their kink is "wrong"? That to me, is between D and s. As long as it is consensual, their idea of sane and safe may differ from my own. I saw a woman on the other side with not only needles through her tied-up-til-red tits, but rods through her breasts themselves. I mean, if that is a peeve for everyone, the idea of "unsafe play" I understand. But what then? Am I supposed to tell an engineer who wanted me to modify him any way I wanted that he should conform to my desires? We always talk about people with more extreme kinks as if they are the ones bombarding us with their expectations and not the other way around. Just my perspective here. As far as the gun play, I agree with all of you, however, I could only politely give my opines to this individual and move on. There's no way I am going to define for someone else what their D/s relationship should be if it works for them and the sub consents. Can we stop acting like subs are these voiceless entities with no ability to decide who they will or will not submit to? That'd be awesome.
Frankly Goddess, I don't give a flying fuck whether or not somebody swoops down with me when I tell someone their kink is wrong. I explain why I think it's wrong and they can deal with it by coming up with a more rational argument or they can try throwing the "your kink is not my kink argument" my way. But...If you care to go back through the archives, you'll see I don't throw my opinion about the rightness or wrongness of something about lightly. Generally, it's reserved for things like gunplay...sexual activities with ums...mentally/emotionally/physically harmful .

If a Dominant wants to turn his submissive into a hucow and she wants to do it...why then, bless her little heart, go for it. However...as recently seen on another thread, the idea is a bit over the top for quite a few. No one said it was wrong...except for them. If a newbie submissive comes in here and says ALL submissives should bodyworship their dominant by licking the dominants asshole clean each night, I'd venture that she's going to get some disagreement over that proclamation, wouldn't you? And not just from the submissives. However...

If someone comes in here and says they make their submissive worship them by selling themselves to a different man or woman every weekend and tells us how she begs and pleads to stop, then cries in shame when it's all over, I'm going to opine that's wrong. Not just in terms of the legality but for a whole host of reasons.

Your kink may not be my kink and that's fine...But in my mind, not everything that can be done between two or more people should be.




Nicely stated CD.

For everyone else:

I also have to serious question how many times a newbie came onto these forums searching for answers to questions they legitimately need answered and they were automatically lumped into the wankers pile? face it, every one of us were newcomers and we didn't have the answers, we were ignorant to how to pose questions that came across as "normal" or "proper." We all started out with very little info and because of that, we do not have a solid basis to start from, so yeah naturally our questions/inquiries will be badly worded, incorrectly asked and obviously gives the first impression we have no damn idea what we are talking about.

Thing is.....when a newbie who asks questions regarding some extreme activity, the reality is most people will be giving their own opinions and thoughts to why they feel it can be a high risk activity. This is NOT forcing our beliefs onto another but advising the uninformed that what the newbie thinks they want carries risks that can/might range from mild to a medical emergency - nothing more. This is something which I myself struggle with each and every time I read a post from a person and not necessary a newbie on an activity that carries a high risk.

Let me ask each of you this regarding what I bolded in CD's quote:

Am I in the wrong not to offer an opinion to whether that activity is extremely risky due to potential health risks?

Am I wrong to offer my opinion to advise that person of the high potential risks involved based on my 15 years of training and education in high risk activities regarding STDs, especially since rimming is classified as a sexual activity?

Or do I simply refuse to offer advice and adopt the attitude of, "oh well, not my problem?"

Either way I am dammed if I say anything and I am dammed if I don't.

_____________________________

Shameless flirt and just as unholy as ever!

Gauge's cuddlemuffin

CD's manwhore


(in reply to CreativeDominant)
Profile   Post #: 239
RE: hazing new posters - 12/11/2014 11:03:43 AM   
Musicmystery


Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
Status: offline
When I joined, it was to participate in what was at the time the very vigorous Gorean section.

I didn't in any way feel "hazed." I *did* feel pushed to support my stances, to be willing to stand for something, to defend it logically, and not to be afforded automatic respect just for being, but earning that respect in my exchanges with others on the forums. And that happened, even with posters with whom I agree.

Others...decided to be dicks start to finish, and got (and get) continually called on it. Then we just got bored with the nuttiness and got on with our own individual lives.

(in reply to UnholyBear)
Profile   Post #: 240
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