DaddySatyr -> RE: Nightmares/Dreams (12/7/2014 12:34:01 PM)
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ORIGINAL: SweetForDaddy quote:
ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr I lost two fingertips on my right hand, fourteen years ago. As a result, I suffer from PTSD. I cannot sleep for more than about three hours at a time, except on rare occasions (really, really ill or up for days, at a time) because of the nightmares. When it first happened, I didn't sleep for nine days. Every time I so much as closed my eyes, I would see the incident, repeated. Almost from the beginning, I had that vision as a nightmare and a couple of others that kept repeating but it was mostly that one for quite some time. Since my son was killed, almost two years ago, I've been treated to a new nightmare where he and I are on the same fire team and I get to watch him get cut to pieces by the enemy's machine guns. I'm held down by two other members of the team; helpless to do anything to save him. PTSD and outliving one of your children suck ... BIG time. Michael That sounds bad, I'm sorry. With the PSTD nightmares, are they all re-living the experience? I have a thing where I don't actually dream it but when I'm trying to fall asleep I get images in my head of various body parts being slashed with a knife, but I've never experienced being slashed by anything so I have no idea what the cause is. It's really strange and it can take me forever to get the images out of my head. I almost lost my son once, he was in a medically induced coma for 5 days and that was super traumatic and can still make me feel sick today, I can't imagine how bad it would have been had he actually died, I can remember having conversations with myself at the time about what I would do if it happened and they were mostly suicidal thoughts. I hope time heals some of the pain for you. With regards to the nightmares: anymore, they're almost never related to the original incident that caused the manifestation of the PTSD. They are, however, made up of all the bad stuff that I witnessed or was part of, before that. In one instance, for a while, I was a member of a television show (not an actor. One of the characters) and all kinds of awful incidents from my life played themselves out in that venue. Honestly, I've never had suicidal thoughts because of the death of my son. Homicidal ones are a different story. I'd like to get my hands around the neck of the bastards responsible for sending him to his death. Anyway, thank you for your kind words. If you're of a mind, have a thought for Jaime on the 22nd? Michael
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