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what is the difference between 'submissive' and 'slave' - 12/9/2014 11:06:20 AM   
rubberloverhk


Posts: 21
Joined: 3/17/2008
From: Hong Kong
Status: offline 		I 've had this question in mind for some time but it's the first time I try to ask this question when I see lots of websites trying to use these two different terms. aren't they the same thing ? what's the difference actually?

SORRY I'VE JUS FOUND THE ANSWER ON GOOGLE . HERE'S I TRY TO ANSWER MY OWN QUESTIONS



A submissive is someone who negotiates; a slave does not
A submissive has limits; a slave has given up all limits except those which his/her owner sets for them.
A submissive obeys and serves by choosing to do so each time and retains her will. A slave initially makes a choice to obey his/her master/mistress at all times and then submits to the will of his/her master at all times.
A submissive accepts submission, while a slave accepts obedience.
A submissive has retained some rights within the context of the D/s relationship, whereas a slave has given up all rights and becomes, in effect, property.
A submissive is owned, but a slave is possessed.
A slave is not allowed to sit on furniture or wear clothes, and always kneels at his/her owner’s feet.
A submissive has a safe-word to end play, while a slave has consented to no-consent.
A slave must be a submissive, but a submissive is not necessarily a slave.
Being a submissive is just a step on the way to the “ultimate” state of submission, which is being a slave.
A slave is more submissive than a “mere” submissive. Submissives are just playing; slaves live the lifestyle.
A submissive has more self-respect than a slave. Slaves are crazy, because who in their right mind would want to be a slave?

< Message edited by rubberloverhk -- 12/9/2014 11:10:36 AM >
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: what is the difference between 'submissive' and 'sl... - 12/9/2014 11:11:00 AM   
RockaRolla


Posts: 1153
Joined: 1/20/2014
From: South Florida
Status: offline 		No, they're not the same, and a sub will often take great offense to being called "slave" by a dom.

The best definition I've found came from a friend of mine. It's not clear whether it's by her or she got it from another source:
"A submissive renews the choice to submit every time a demand is levied upon them. A slave makes a one-time choice to submit, up front, and thereafter it is incumbent upon them to obey."

But given roles like anything else in the scene are subjective, you could ask 15 different people and get 20 different responses.

_____________________________

~Roxie

(in reply to rubberloverhk)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: what is the difference between 'submissive' and 'sl... - 12/9/2014 11:14:57 AM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline 		The best way to define the difference is to let the individual define what it means to them.

The rest is futile.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to RockaRolla)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: what is the difference between 'submissive' and 'sl... - 12/9/2014 11:17:36 AM   
rubberloverhk


Posts: 21
Joined: 3/17/2008
From: Hong Kong
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RockaRolla

No, they're not the same, and a sub will often take great offense to being called "slave" by a dom.

The best definition I've found came from a friend of mine. It's not clear whether it's by her or she got it from another source:
"A submissive renews the choice to submit every time a demand is levied upon them. A slave makes a one-time choice to submit, up front, and thereafter it is incumbent upon them to obey."

But given roles like anything else in the scene are subjective, you could ask 15 different people and get 20 different responses.



I've basically got their difference now, thank you very much

So, being a slave is quite dangerous.... but being a sub is a little bit too easy

(in reply to RockaRolla)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: what is the difference between 'submissive' and 'sl... - 12/9/2014 11:20:36 AM   
RockaRolla


Posts: 1153
Joined: 1/20/2014
From: South Florida
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: rubberloverhk


quote:

ORIGINAL: RockaRolla

No, they're not the same, and a sub will often take great offense to being called "slave" by a dom.

The best definition I've found came from a friend of mine. It's not clear whether it's by her or she got it from another source:
"A submissive renews the choice to submit every time a demand is levied upon them. A slave makes a one-time choice to submit, up front, and thereafter it is incumbent upon them to obey."

But given roles like anything else in the scene are subjective, you could ask 15 different people and get 20 different responses.



I've basically got their difference now, thank you very much

So, being a slave is quite dangerous.... but being a sub is a little bit too easy

Whether it's "dangerous" depends on the people in the relationship. If you, as a submissive partner, decided to take it slow with someone until sufficient trust developed, you may not see it as all that dangerous. In that case you know your partner well enough to know she isn't likely to abuse you.

But if you were to jump into a relationship with a dominant without giving it much thought beyond your mutual attraction, things can go south quickly.

_____________________________

~Roxie

(in reply to rubberloverhk)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: what is the difference between 'submissive' and 'sl... - 12/9/2014 11:24:56 AM   
rubberloverhk


Posts: 21
Joined: 3/17/2008
From: Hong Kong
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RockaRolla


quote:

ORIGINAL: rubberloverhk


quote:

ORIGINAL: RockaRolla

No, they're not the same, and a sub will often take great offense to being called "slave" by a dom.

The best definition I've found came from a friend of mine. It's not clear whether it's by her or she got it from another source:
"A submissive renews the choice to submit every time a demand is levied upon them. A slave makes a one-time choice to submit, up front, and thereafter it is incumbent upon them to obey."

But given roles like anything else in the scene are subjective, you could ask 15 different people and get 20 different responses.



I've basically got their difference now, thank you very much

So, being a slave is quite dangerous.... but being a sub is a little bit too easy

Whether it's "dangerous" depends on the people in the relationship. If you, as a submissive partner, decided to take it slow with someone until sufficient trust developed, you may not see it as all that dangerous. In that case you know your partner well enough to know she isn't likely to abuse you.

But if you were to jump into a relationship with a dominant without giving it much thought beyond your mutual attraction, things can go south quickly.



I am straight but I've got no interest in slave girl or being dominant, I am submissive in nature, on the contrary. Do you think a slave should have the mental preparation about that they could be badly beaten , castrated or even killed at some point of their life?

I often have the fantasy or being castrated or killed by a Mistress who owns me but I still have no owner and I know I will not want to be castrated or killed in reality.

Does it mean I could be a slave? or I am not actually a slave?

(in reply to RockaRolla)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: what is the difference between 'submissive' and 'sl... - 12/9/2014 11:26:52 AM   
NookieNotes


Posts: 1720
Joined: 11/10/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge

The best way to define the difference is to let the individual define what it means to them.

The rest is futile.


Agreed.

quote:

ORIGINAL: rubberloverhk

So, being a slave is quite dangerous.... but being a sub is a little bit too easy


The logic here does not follow.

You would not submit yourself, either in slavery or submission to someone you do not trust to not harm you, correct?

And if you submit, do you think that you really get to opt out of all the difficult stuff?

_____________________________

Nookie
--
https://datingkinky.com

I Write! A few of my books on Amazon: http://amazon.com/author/msnnotes

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: what is the difference between 'submissive' and 'sl... - 12/9/2014 11:34:44 AM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline 		The difference is that anyone who thinks they are a "slave" is delusional.

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to rubberloverhk)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: what is the difference between 'submissive' and 'sl... - 12/9/2014 11:37:28 AM   
NorthernGent


Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stef

The difference is that anyone who thinks they are a "slave" is delusional.



If you were stuck in the corner of that Austrian fella's basement with a chain round your ankle and eating out of a dog bowl you'd probably think different.




_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to stef)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: what is the difference between 'submissive' and 'sl... - 12/9/2014 11:37:46 AM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: rubberloverhk


I am straight but I've got no interest in slave girl or being dominant, I am submissive in nature, on the contrary. Do you think a slave should have the mental preparation about that they could be badly beaten , castrated or even killed at some point of their life?

I often have the fantasy or being castrated or killed by a Mistress who owns me but I still have no owner and I know I will not want to be castrated or killed in reality.

Does it mean I could be a slave? or I am not actually a slave?


Slavery, the way you describe it, does not exist legally in America.

The modern day "slave" is pretty much a title which is defined between the owner and the slave and how it fits into their world.

My slut has a slave mentality, meaning that she would love to serve me 24/7. The practical side of that is that she has a medium sized human still living at home with her and my slut also has a demanding job. So, her being a slave 24/7 isn't practical, however the mentality is there.



_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to rubberloverhk)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: what is the difference between 'submissive' and 'sl... - 12/9/2014 11:37:48 AM   
RockaRolla


Posts: 1153
Joined: 1/20/2014
From: South Florida
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: rubberloverhk
I am straight but I've got no interest in slave girl or being dominant, I am submissive in nature, on the contrary. Do you think a slave should have the mental preparation about that they could be badly beaten , castrated or even killed at some point of their life?

I often have the fantasy or being castrated or killed by a Mistress who owns me but I still have no owner and I know I will not want to be castrated or killed in reality.

Does it mean I could be a slave? or I am not actually a slave?
Not following. Those scenarios were with you as the submissive partner and a hypothetical "her" as the dominant one.

I was saying the exact opposite. If you wish to identify as a slave, you should let that kind of dynamic build over time rather than jump in with a Mistress. You should be going in with the mental preparation of looking for someone you can serve WITHOUT the fear of bodily harm.

_____________________________

~Roxie

(in reply to rubberloverhk)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: what is the difference between 'submissive' and 'sl... - 12/9/2014 11:41:52 AM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthernGent

If you were stuck in the corner of that Austrian fella's basement with a chain round your ankle and eating out of a dog bowl you'd probably think different.

Yes, if I were actually a slave I would probably think differently. You have an astute command of the obvious.

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to NorthernGent)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: what is the difference between 'submissive' and 'sl... - 12/9/2014 11:43:19 AM   
rubberloverhk


Posts: 21
Joined: 3/17/2008
From: Hong Kong
Status: offline 		I may agree that the thought of being a slave could be delusional a lot of time then.

(in reply to RockaRolla)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: what is the difference between 'submissive' and 'sl... - 12/9/2014 11:46:09 AM   
rubberloverhk


Posts: 21
Joined: 3/17/2008
From: Hong Kong
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge


quote:

ORIGINAL: rubberloverhk


I am straight but I've got no interest in slave girl or being dominant, I am submissive in nature, on the contrary. Do you think a slave should have the mental preparation about that they could be badly beaten , castrated or even killed at some point of their life?

I often have the fantasy or being castrated or killed by a Mistress who owns me but I still have no owner and I know I will not want to be castrated or killed in reality.

Does it mean I could be a slave? or I am not actually a slave?


Slavery, the way you describe it, does not exist legally in America.

The modern day "slave" is pretty much a title which is defined between the owner and the slave and how it fits into their world.

My slut has a slave mentality, meaning that she would love to serve me 24/7. The practical side of that is that she has a medium sized human still living at home with her and my slut also has a demanding job. So, her being a slave 24/7 isn't practical, however the mentality is there.




Personally I am not interested in female slave but I am just curious that - are there really some women in the world who have a slave mentality? Do they just love their men too much and think they could serve them for 24/7 or are they really initiated by erotic feeling

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: what is the difference between 'submissive' and 'sl... - 12/9/2014 11:49:39 AM   
RockaRolla


Posts: 1153
Joined: 1/20/2014
From: South Florida
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: rubberloverhk

I may agree that the thought of being a slave could be delusional a lot of time then.

It's important to note that a M/s relationship is not unlike any other kind of relationship in that it's best to take it slow. Perhaps with the dynamic it's even more important to be cautious. But just like you shouldn't jump into a lifelong commitment like marriage with someone who may or may not hate you in 2 years, it's important not to jump into a M/s agreement with a Mistress who *might* want to cause you physical harm when she gets bored.

_____________________________

~Roxie

(in reply to rubberloverhk)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: what is the difference between 'submissive' and 'sl... - 12/9/2014 11:49:48 AM   
Kaliko


Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: rubberloverhk

A submissive is someone who negotiates; a slave does not
A submissive has limits; a slave has given up all limits except those which his/her owner sets for them.
A submissive obeys and serves by choosing to do so each time and retains her will. A slave initially makes a choice to obey his/her master/mistress at all times and then submits to the will of his/her master at all times.
A submissive accepts submission, while a slave accepts obedience.
A submissive has retained some rights within the context of the D/s relationship, whereas a slave has given up all rights and becomes, in effect, property.
A submissive is owned, but a slave is possessed.
A slave is not allowed to sit on furniture or wear clothes, and always kneels at his/her owner’s feet.
A submissive has a safe-word to end play, while a slave has consented to no-consent.
A slave must be a submissive, but a submissive is not necessarily a slave.
Being a submissive is just a step on the way to the “ultimate” state of submission, which is being a slave.
A slave is more submissive than a “mere” submissive. Submissives are just playing; slaves live the lifestyle.
A submissive has more self-respect than a slave. Slaves are crazy, because who in their right mind would want to be a slave?



Oh my God, my head hurts.

I am submissive. I call myself that, and not a slave, because at the end of the day I know that legally, I can walk away. I may be mentally bound, I may be financially dependent, I may be a lot of things. But I am not required for any reason to stay with any one person. I am not a slave. I know there are fluffier meanings for the word, and so I imagine that's why people are comfortable using it. It just doesn't sit right with me.

I have learned, though, that how I conduct myself in my relationship is what most people would call being a slave. I don't think of it that way at all. There is no delineation between the terms for me because the one term isn't even an option. There is simply me. I am submissive.

quote:

ORIGINAL: RockaRolla

The best definition I've found came from a friend of mine. It's not clear whether it's by her or she got it from another source:
"A submissive renews the choice to submit every time a demand is levied upon them. A slave makes a one-time choice to submit, up front, and thereafter it is incumbent upon them to obey."



I've heard this a number of times before, in one form or another, and I have to be honest - I have no idea how this is done. How is there any sort of authority in the relationship if I get to have the choice as to whether I'll submit or not? (Genuine question. I've just never understood this.)





(in reply to rubberloverhk)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: what is the difference between 'submissive' and 'sl... - 12/9/2014 11:52:37 AM   
RockaRolla


Posts: 1153
Joined: 1/20/2014
From: South Florida
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kaliko
I've heard this a number of times before, in one form or another, and I have to be honest - I have no idea how this is done. How is there any sort of authority in the relationship if I get to have the choice as to whether I'll submit or not? (Genuine question. I've just never understood this.)
Well you kind of answered it yourself earlier - you can walk away at any time. Doesn't mean your D has any less authority.

I would think that the reviewing that choice would most often come in the form of "is this safe/sane?" which may or may not be answered by the time you enter into that agreement.

_____________________________

~Roxie

(in reply to Kaliko)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: what is the difference between 'submissive' and 'sl... - 12/9/2014 11:57:58 AM   
Kaliko


Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RockaRolla

Well you kind of answered it yourself earlier - you can walk away at any time. Doesn't mean your D has any less authority.



Hmm. Okay. Good point.

(in reply to RockaRolla)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: what is the difference between 'submissive' and 'sl... - 12/9/2014 12:08:26 PM   
littleladybug


Posts: 1082
Joined: 5/30/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: rubberloverhk


A submissive is someone who negotiates; a slave does not
A submissive has limits; a slave has given up all limits except those which his/her owner sets for them.
A submissive obeys and serves by choosing to do so each time and retains her will. A slave initially makes a choice to obey his/her master/mistress at all times and then submits to the will of his/her master at all times.
A submissive accepts submission, while a slave accepts obedience.
A submissive has retained some rights within the context of the D/s relationship, whereas a slave has given up all rights and becomes, in effect, property.
A submissive is owned, but a slave is possessed.
A slave is not allowed to sit on furniture or wear clothes, and always kneels at his/her owner’s feet.
A submissive has a safe-word to end play, while a slave has consented to no-consent.
A slave must be a submissive, but a submissive is not necessarily a slave.
Being a submissive is just a step on the way to the “ultimate” state of submission, which is being a slave.
A slave is more submissive than a “mere” submissive. Submissives are just playing; slaves live the lifestyle.
A submissive has more self-respect than a slave. Slaves are crazy, because who in their right mind would want to be a slave?


I've read through this list several times, and can honestly say that I do not agree with one thing on it.

I identify as submissive, perhaps with some slave tendencies. But, overall, as has been mentioned, the terms literally are defined by the people in the particular relationship.

(in reply to rubberloverhk)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: what is the difference between 'submissive' and 'sl... - 12/9/2014 12:11:04 PM   
Kaliko


Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kaliko


quote:

ORIGINAL: RockaRolla

Well you kind of answered it yourself earlier - you can walk away at any time. Doesn't mean your D has any less authority.



Hmm. Okay. Good point.




Wait! :)

Okay, now that I've thought about it....

1. How would this serve to differentiate between a submissive and slave, then? If you're saying that my ability to choose to leave the relationship is equivalent to my choice to submit to a demand on any given day, then how does the definition you provided actually define a submissive versus a slave?

And

2. If I were to be able to choose to submit to something, does the relationship still continue? Is he still my "Dominant" but maybe just a little pouty about me not obeying him? Am I allowed to not obey? Because if so, then yes, I would say that the Dominant does have less authority.

(in reply to Kaliko)
Profile   Post #: 20
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