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RE: How many people have you met? - 12/13/2014 4:51:13 AM

YouName

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Well I was just saying that if he had used his dads picture as you suggested then it might've been one.

People have their ways of determining things and engaging in conversation. I wouldn't dismiss someone for either reason.
But it would tell me a little about them , for sure :)

I can't tell a funny story here for outing myself a bit too much but let's just leave it with the fact that a guy I know presented himself as a girl to me for a very long time without there ever being anything sexual about it. I got a bit pissed but I forgave him. We're talking about an age where neither of us had much hair on our balls.

< Message edited by YouName -- 12/13/2014 4:57:02 AM >

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RE: How many people have you met? - 12/13/2014 4:59:23 AM

FieryOpal

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quote:

ORIGINAL: YouName

Well I was just saying that if he had used his dads picture as you suggested then it might've been one.

People have their ways of determining things and engaging in conversation. I wouldn't dismiss someone for either reason.
But it would tell me a little about them , for sure :)

I can't tell a funny story here for outing myself a bit too much but let's just leave it with the fact that a guy I know presented himself as a girl to me for a very long time without there ever being anything sexual about it. I got a bit pissed but I forgave him. We're talking about an age where neither of us had much hair on our balls.

You're a guy. Expect to get tested. Often.

Now you have to tell this story of yours, or else you're just being a big tease.

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There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

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RE: How many people have you met? - 12/13/2014 5:10:56 AM

YouName

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Online, to find out who I am? No. Jeez. Why should anyone expect that, like you said. Still you don't have to dismiss the person for it.
And so the best way to get to know someone well or really well is probably to start out from a perspective where there is little room for either one exploiting the other. Which begs the question why I'm even here. But seriously, there's to much vanilla in this world.

Pfft, the story isn't really that important.

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RE: How many people have you met? - 12/13/2014 5:23:19 AM

FieryOpal

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quote:

ORIGINAL: YouName

Online, to find out who I am? No. Jeez. Why should anyone expect that, like you said. Still you don't have to dismiss the person for it.
And so the best way to get to know someone well or really well is probably to start out from a perspective where there is little room for either one exploiting the other. Which begs the question why I'm even here. But seriously, there's to much vanilla in this world.

Pfft, the story isn't really that important.

Okay, on line is one thing. Fake pic, fake name, not being forthcoming about personal info in order to gain a woman's trust. What's not to dismiss about evasiveness and/or deception here?

In person (e.g. date) takes it up another notch. You don't "test" a person's character here. They either pass or fail their own tests. Being rude or demanding to server. Poor tipper. Doesn't act gentlemanly, as if he were brought up in a barn. Totally separate thing from what you're saying.

You're a man. You're a switch. Chances are if you meet a stranger from cyberspace, you're not risking getting date-raped or beat up.
Chances are the woman you meet up with will be smaller and less strong than you are (for the most part) and wouldn't be able to overpower you even if she wanted to. She's probably not hiding that she's a married cheater either.

Female submissives take the greatest risks. They are literally putting their lives in the hands of a Dominant-Top.

BDSM is not an exemption from taking commonsensical vanilla precautions. In fact, the bar is set even higher.

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Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
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RE: How many people have you met? - 12/13/2014 5:38:52 AM

YouName

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Good points, part of the reason why I've never done online dating.
Still, I guess the way I communicate with people and the people I communicte with lead us to a path of mutual trust so I've never experienced that someone is insecure or that I am insecure about them, except that one time when meeting one person just became impossible.

edit: I missed one though, a girl won't hide she's cheating? lol!

Or maybe there are no female cheaters?

Also I'm a bit paranoid about meeting anyone who will tie me up O.o but that's a bit part of the fun I guess...

< Message edited by YouName -- 12/13/2014 5:48:40 AM >

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RE: How many people have you met? - 12/13/2014 6:20:06 AM

smileforme50

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

It's very hard for insincere and fake people to work so hard and mentally stimulate me. It really takes genuine mutual connection, so that's how I believe I maintain a zero no show record.

I think that's my thing too....it's MENTAL stimulation that attracts me and I think that type of mutual stimulation and attraction really limits the number of no-shows.

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RE: How many people have you met? - 12/13/2014 6:40:24 AM

smileforme50

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Yeah....I'm not big with pictures either....I really don't care if I see one of them before we meet. The very first D-type I met when I got into this in 2010.....the pic on his profile was at least 15 years old. In the pic he short brown hair....but when I met him....he had a LONG GRAY PONYTAIL almost down to his ass. If it wasn't for a mole he had on his chin I wouldn't have even thought it was the same person. He just shrugged and said "Oh...yeah....I guess I have to get a new picture...." YA THINK???

But....the Dom I've been seeing now.....I was amazed at how he looks EXACTLY like his picture. Everyone tells me that I look a lot different in RL than I do in pics....even really recent ones. But this guy looks exactly like his picture.

Side note.....one thing that really bothers me with CM is how people need to manually update their age on their profile....and of course no one does. It would be nice if a person's age got automatically updated on their birthday. Yes I know that doesn't mean that people would use their real birthday.....but it took me a while to learn that I always needed to do some math when looking at profiles. The guy's profile says he is 45....but it also says that he "Joined" 8 years ago....which means he is most likely at least 53

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She could scream all she wanted…..I was keeping the umbrella.

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RE: How many people have you met? - 12/13/2014 6:55:47 AM

Greta75

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal
You want a Dom. You have no problem with a Dom who has insecurities about his age and is afraid of rejection because of it?

I didn't say this was about choosing dom. A man like that cannot possibly dom over me, I would be all over him, mothering him, he'd feel like my son, even if his 50 yr old. But I'd still sleep with him if I like him enough, but of course not for a D/S relationship.

quote:

wanting a Dom with a strong sex drive is linked to his confidence level. If he's assured of his sexual abilities to sustain performance, he wouldn't have ego insecurities like that. Capiche?

The man who I had a 3 days sexual marathon with lied about his age, shaved a good 10 years from it. So I don't think it attributes to their stamina. He had one of the best sex drive, in my personal sex record with men anyway. He was healthy and fit, flat tummy, obviously take care of himself and runs alot, and did look 10 years younger as he claimed when he say about his cheesy excuse about lying about his age. I always ask for birth date, so that's when I found out his lying. I think they get rejected for their age, without being given a chance to meet in real life so much, that they start lying. And he never sent me a pic, just lied about his age.

I guess I totally understand that. In a way where, my weight is more heavier than I look. People are always shock that I look 10kg lighter than what I weigh, but local men would reject me base on my weight already most of the time. But if they can just meet me and see me physically, they will see that I am not as they imagine and probably could out-run them. Being 30kg heavier than local women is really seen as obese. I know men who met me in real life, loved how I look, until I blurted out my real weight. They don't like me anymore because I am heavier than them.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 12/13/2014 7:06:32 AM >

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RE: How many people have you met? - 12/13/2014 7:01:39 AM

YouName

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This one is a wise kitten :-)

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RE: How many people have you met? - 12/13/2014 5:30:21 PM

FieryOpal

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quote:

ORIGINAL: YouName

This one is a wise kitten :-)

She's a smart cookie, all right.
@Greta75, I specifically meant a prospective Dom, not just a sex partner, so thanks for clarifying you weren't limiting yourself to that. Yes, there are older men with sexual stamina. When I was younger, I always preferred older men for both maturity and sexual expertise; men my age back then tended to be clumsy DO-ME vanillas. How old was this marathon dude's real age, btw, if you don't mind my asking?

quote:

ORIGINAL: smileforme50

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

It's very hard for insincere and fake people to work so hard and mentally stimulate me. It really takes genuine mutual connection, so that's how I believe I maintain a zero no show record.

I think that's my thing too....it's MENTAL stimulation that attracts me and I think that type of mutual stimulation and attraction really limits the number of no-shows.

I'll 3rd that. Without mental stimulation, it's a no-go. There has to be verbal agility and expressiveness as well. He has to be able to keep up with me inside & outside of the bedroom.

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Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

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