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GoddessManko -> RE: Tribute for a FLR? (12/17/2014 11:22:18 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: xrampage101
Hi Spiritedsub2,
I haven't posted on here for a long time.
Here goes; in response to your post, the BDSM world is a supply and demand market, and it is big business for some.
I've noticed over the years (since being introduced to the internet in the late 90's), there has been a serge of female Dommes
using this community as a money making opportunity. I guess they have migrated over from the so called villa world.
Back in 1998, I would see adventurous women looking for mutual fun, without any money changing hands. From 2000,
a lot of professional Dominatrices saw the internet as a way of advertising and promoting their business, rather than
advertising in local call boxes, discrete adds in newspapers and fetish magazines. I don't have a problem with this
because like any other profession, whether you are a lawyer, surgeon or Dominatrix, they are trained professionals.
A Dominatrix is trained or specialises in a range of BDSM activities, in terms whips, dungeons, equipment and
role-play scenarios. As far as I'm concerned, paying for their time is fully justified. However, a lot of everyday
women in or outside of BDSM, were thinking, if these women are charging, then so should we. They obviously
realised the financial rewards.
The problem I have; these so called winnable Dommes aren't professionals and therefore, should be considered
as amateurs or novices. Many years ago, I was exchanging messages with a local women from a kinky dating site.
I was looking for a like minded lady to indulge in mutual adult fun. At the time, she told me she enjoyed
sexually dominating men, a divorcee and that she ran her own accountancy business from home. When arranging a meet,
her messages changed from informal to formal and she made numerous demands such as she wanted to meet
in an expensive hotel, charging about £150 per hour, no body contact or touching involved, and would dictate the entire
session scenarios. This would set me back realistically, around £450. If she asked for a gift or few drinks, no problem.
However, financially, I am better off hiring a female escort to my place, with no hotel fees, full contact and opportunity
to explore my fantasies, which would probably cost me £110, including sex if I wanted it. It's a no brainer. She got very
nasty when I declined and told me off for wasting her time. What I don't understand; if we are both employed,
the fact she never stated she was looking for a money arrangement and she clearly isn't a Dominatrix, why should
I be expected to pay for her time? It is totally unfair, unreasonable and greedy, and gives other women a bad
name.
You are either a professional Domme or an amateur partner looking non profiting adult fun, I'm sorry, but you
can't be half and half in one session.
Welcome back to the forums! If you don't mind me saying, after reading what you wrote, I have found that I am still set in my belief that a woman's value is determined by the one who wishes to indulge her.
Your story leads me to believe you were misled by one woman. Does that cast shade on all others?
I also have to say, the "professional Dommes are trained professional" stuff is hogwash. If after years of domming several men, building up her dungeon and so forth, then yes. I would agree. But no one's experience or alleged "training" in this is determined by what tools they have or haven't used/own. I used to sell sex toys and have given many of mine away due to lack of storage. If I had a professional dungeon and didn't care what my family thought of my decision to "sell services", who knows.
But I really laugh when people believe that a proDomme has to be at point Z and not point A, then that means those "trained professionals" never had a learning curve or starting point, which is a fallacy. Anyone can carry a whip around for an hour or two. It is something different entirely to be in charge in a 24/7 setting. If anything, your post shows me how self-serving and short sighted a lot of subs have become and how they do not understand the female Dominant whether from never being collared or having expectation based on a prior D.
I know plenty of married women who have their way with their husbands and never once had the husband considered hiring a prostitute. I feel like if you are going to go outside of your local area to search, prepare to spend but if you expect her to do as you desire then where is the submission? My view is the questions you should be asking are "Is she worth it? Do I respect her? Do I value her?" If the answer is "No, but she will definitely fulfill kinks 1 to 5." Then who is setting themselves up for disappointment?
Again, after knowing many men in my life, I have to say your outlook is not at all mainstream. Not among the men I know.
My boy says for him it is simple. "The Domme makes the rules, the sub complies". That is natural for him.
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