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NorthernGent -> RE: I Hate The Holidays (12/20/2014 8:01:27 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Gauge
I hate the holidays... there, I said it.
Loved them when I was a kid, loved them when my kids were young, hate them now.
Part of my problem with them is that my late Mother made them a miserable experience for me. She was wheelchair bound for many, many years and was not the greatest housekeeper in the world, so cooking in her kitchen was difficult at best. I ended up taking her out for holiday dinners, but all she would do was bitch about it. I also have a few friends who are dirt fucking poor and have no one for the holidays, so I invited them along with me to eat and at least have some sort of holiday. They also helped me not to strangle my Mother. My Mother didn't want them to come along, but I explained to her that they were my friends and I was paying the bill anyway, so I can invite whoever I wish and I didn't ask her permission anyway.
It's been two years after her death and the holidays still suck for me. I would really rather do nothing for them and just wish they would go away. When I was a kid we had massive family gatherings, now I am lucky if my kids call me to say anything remotely like Merry Christmas or Happy New Year. My sister is trying to get me back into doing holiday things, but my heart just isn't in it... to me, it is too much fuss for one day. My girlfriend has holiday things, and she tries to understand that I don't like that sort of thing, but it is difficult for her. I don't spend money I don't have on presents, I'm not cheap, I'm poor. If I do get something, it is usually something little, but, for the most part, I put a great deal of thought into it.
Holiday time sucks.
Love Christmas, always have done.
Time away from work to enjoy with family and friends. Whether or not you have money in your back pocket, you just can't beat spending time in a relaxed setting with people for whom you have a lot of time.
She wasn't the best housekeeper? You could have cleaned your Mother's home for her. In all fairness, if I was in a wheelchair I wouldn't be the best housekeeper either.
It sounds corny, Gauge, but if there is one truth in this world it is that when push comes to shove money means nothing. Nothing whatsoever. It is the kind words and the warmth that you give and receive that matter. These are the things that people remember when they get old.
Mothers can be very strange. Or at least they can seem strange, because you and I aren't Mothers and so we don't quite understand the things they do.
But, when my Mother dies it will be a massive hole in my life, and my Mother is no shrinking violet by anyone's standards, but she's a very warm and kind individual who is also highly strung and says what's on her mind to the point of being tactless at times; which can seem a touch unnecessary, but regardless of any flaws she has (and perceived flaws are ultimately open to debate, I mean - you and I aren't perfect) she's the best person on this planet by a million miles.
Christ, I'd hunt the birds down outside and clean them if I thought it would make her happy, which probably would as she's always feeding the birds.
It's the old saying - you can choose your friends but not your family, and blood certainly is thicker than water.
Regardless, the past is the past, and you sound world-weary, Gauge. Were I you I'd do some volunteering work and maybe visit some old folk for a chat who have no one at Christmas time because some kind words and care go a long way, and no matter what else you do in life you will not find anything so pleasurable.
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