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RE: Young slave Versus Old Master - 12/3/2004 8:07:21 AM

dally

Posts: 108
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

I agree with Estring on this ... I don't believe someone who chooses to look for a mate that is more compatible with them as far as age and race are concerned a form of bigotry... it's simply a persons own preference and i don't think they should feel like they have to be "politically correct" or anything like that when they are searching for their one....for example, i am over weight, i would not and have not taken offense to any one that has flat out told me they prefer a thin girl, i don't think they are being discriminating or anything, if they were not hiring me for a job because of that then that would be a different story all together, but each person has the right to pick and choose carefully to their own individual liking.

As i said in the other post I was with a much much older Dom (30 yr difference) before, and the difference in age really began to show in our relationship, it did not work in the end....however with that said i can also say i have known many couples with huge differences in age who are very happy together...so this all depends on the people involved and what they need and want.

quote:

I'd like to run away From you, But if you didn't come And find me ...
I would die.
~ by Shirley Bassey ~

Attachment (1)

(in reply to Estring)

Post #: 21

RE: Young slave Versus Old Master - 12/3/2004 9:09:18 AM

siamsa24

Posts: 2426
Joined: 2/2/2004
Status: offline

quote:

It also depends on the ages of the people involved. Being a 40/30 couple is much different than being a 30/20 couple

Then I guess my year and a half long relationship is doomed for failure.

(in reply to Estring)

Post #: 22

RE: Young slave Versus Old Master - 12/3/2004 3:25:14 PM

masteroffire

Posts: 66
Joined: 11/9/2004
From: Yukon, Oklahoma
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: noiresilence
In my case, Masters would come back saying

1 . You are an unrealistic sub
2 . You aren't a real sub
3 . Young Master have no experience
4 . Go back to the Vanilla World.

My reply to you would be that I hope you don't give up, and I hope you find what you are looking for. You are not being unrealistic, you simply know what you want. All of these comments except possibly one is a childish stab at you, and should be ignored. The one you have numbers 3, has some substance to it. I Dom who is young in the lifestyle is going to be inexperienced, young in age means nothing. I know some who are 20 and have been real life subs or Doms for several years. You are 25, that is not rediculously young. It is definitely possible to find someone who is your age and has several years of experience in the lifestyle. There is nothing wrong with age difference, but in the type of relationship it sounds as though you seek, I would agree with those saying that 10 years difference won't matter, but 30-40 might.

_____________________________

"They sicken of the calm, who knew the storm."
Dorothy Parker, 'Fair Weather,' Sunset Gun, 1928

(in reply to noiresilence)

Post #: 23

RE: Young slave Versus Old Master - 12/4/2004 7:57:38 AM

koftheuniverse

Posts: 1
Joined: 11/30/2004
Status: offline

If any Master tells you are unrealistic or aren't a real sub or go back to the vanilla world, I would highly suspect the reality of Their lifestyle. If you put 10 lifestylers in a room and ask them the definition of the Master/sub relationship your going to get 10 defferent answers. BDSM is a constent learning process for living this lifestyle. And believe no Master knows it all. No one has the right to judge you or tell you are wrong. If your going to spend 24/7 with a Dom or Domme I would want to make sure its someone I could relate to on a personal level as well. And if a Top ever tells you, you are unrealistic...tell them to fuck off....chances are their a fake.

(in reply to noiresilence)

Post #: 24

RE: Young slave Versus Old Master - 12/11/2004 8:03:40 PM

DomButNotForgotn

Posts: 108
Joined: 6/2/2004
Status: offline

I want to thank MastersGirl! Age is a number. I agree that personal histories can differ widely, but if you really click with somebody, you should stay with them, regardless of age. Oh, and for all us old guys who like younger women, MastersGirl makes a supurb argument!

When I was in my 20's I made it with a very demanding ballet teacher. I wote a pretty hot story about it! Contact me if you want to read it. I never even knew her name!! She was about 40, and 15 years older than me, but I didn't care! I used to go for women my age, a bit younger, or a few years older, and I still like that age group. Much younger women are sure cute (and get nice and wet), but they would need to desire an older man discipline or train them for things to work well, at least for me.

The only problems I have had lately is that some women in their 40's and 50's are out of shape or have medical problems that make the vigorous BDSM/sex activities I like to do a bit hard for them to do. I love the energy and vitality younger women have, but I don't go after younger women exclusively, by any means. I don't need a "trophy sub" for a good relationship

Carry on!

Mark
Malden, MA

(in reply to MastersGirl)

Post #: 25

RE: Young slave Versus Old Master - 12/12/2004 12:07:12 PM

Moleculor

Posts: 189
Joined: 5/23/2004
Status: offline

It's just as frustrating to be a younger guy in search of someone my own age. There are SO MANY submissives out there that want someone "older and more experienced". Ageism is a real problem in the BDSM community.

(in reply to DomButNotForgotn)

Post #: 26

RE: Young slave Versus Old Master - 12/12/2004 12:31:41 PM

SirRender

Posts: 9
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Ft. Lauderdale
Status: offline

This was alot to read and most people feel about the same way. I admit I dont write alot but do like to read the posts. But I dont understand something, I have spoken with alot of people over a period of time, but I dont get any young people, lol, mostly older women, Is it something I said in profile or just ???? Lol Maybe, it's cause Im in Florida

(in reply to Estring)

Post #: 27

RE: Young slave Versus Old Master - 2/13/2005 9:59:26 AM

soulreaver67

Posts: 12
Joined: 1/30/2005
Status: offline

Let's break this down--

What is ideally a benefit of an older Dom (32+)?

1) Should be financially stable
2) Should "know themselves" and not be a baby
3) Should have experience at living
4) Should know how to treat people with respect

What is the problem with an older Dom?

1) Too stayed in their ways
2) They forget what it is to be a teen/20-something
3) Following the plateau years, the age difference becomes a problem (he's 75, she's 57)
4) The treat the younger party with condescention

---

First, this is about a mindset. I *never* forget that I am dealing with another person who's views are *valid*. I don't try to enforce my views on anyone. I never push a girl to sleep with her, ever. It's her choice, not mine. My interest as a Dom is solely derived from her pleasure. If she's happy, comfortable, trusts me-- then I'm happy. If not, I'm doing something wrong and I need to figure out what.

And I simply don't get this "experience" issue, with an older Dom being perturbed that a younger sub is "inexperienced."-- Isn't that most of the fun of this? Teaching your partner about herself, watching her learn and discover the joy and passion within her unfettered soul?

Shameless Plug: Ladies, if you're inexperienced, want a fantabulous experience, aren't looking for intercourse right off the bat (or ever), but would like to cum with mouth, fingers, or vibrator while roped, and just want introduced to the lifestyle in a safe and sane way... [email protected] (YIM Me). I'm patient, I don't judge, and I *truly* want you to have a wonderful time-- It's how you feel that is the most important to me.

SoulReaver
"You are my Angel of Death, my SoulReaver."-- The Guardian

(in reply to Estring)

Post #: 28

RE: Young slave Versus Old Master - 2/13/2005 11:14:29 PM

angelinbondage

Posts: 30
Joined: 1/27/2005
Status: offline

I got those same responses from a Domme that was my age and searching on behalf of a Master that was old enough to be my grandfather; that really cracked me up. If he prided himself on being such a Master, then why didn't he have the balls to approach me himself?

(in reply to noiresilence)

Post #: 29

RE: Young slave Versus Old Master - 2/13/2005 11:17:21 PM

BeachMystress

Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline

Which brings up the question.. why was a Domme pandering for a Dom in the first place?

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to angelinbondage)

Post #: 30

RE: Young slave Versus Old Master - 2/14/2005 12:09:59 AM

MzBerlin

Posts: 378
Joined: 7/3/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: perverseangelic

Honestly, I wasn't saying that one age is superior, or even that people should look for people of the same age.

Rather, I was voicing frustration at the fact that a lot of older people I've come in contact with condem me for prefering younger people.

I know some amazing dominant people and submissive people that are much older than I. I am, in some cases, great friends with them. I'm just not interested in them sexually/romantically. I get angry when this preference is seen to say something negative about me.

perverseangelic-
I get that a lot, too. Most of the mail I get is from older men (in their late forties through sixties) telling me that I NEED to submit and that if i don't that I'm just a player. I would like to find someone (eventually) w/in my own age range and I don't think that makes me less of a submissive. I think it makes me a regular gal!! I realize that some gals like older guys, but I don't think that has anything to do with their level of submission.
I hope that made sense!!
Anyhoo- I just wanted you to know that you're not alone in that experience.
B

_____________________________

new pictures!! www.ropexpert.com
also- you can catch me on www.ksexradio.com every tuesday. I co-host Baadmasters' Dungeon!!

(in reply to perverseangelic)

Post #: 31

RE: Young slave Versus Old Master - 2/14/2005 3:22:14 AM

RbabyR

Posts: 4
Joined: 1/17/2005
Status: offline

this is an intersteting topic. smiles im in my 30s and my Master is in His 50s so there is like 22 yrs betweens U/us and W/we are happy very happy indeed.

Age does not mean anything at all and i love Master and He is very Mature and this means that W/we walk happier than i have ever walked with Someone my own age

This must be true smileeees wide as W/we have been T/together 9 and a half wonderful months and last month W/we toook the step futher in the fact i became His slave.

W/we are very happy and so can O/others be so my personal opinion is on this subject age does not matter at all and dont let A/anyone talk Y/you out off it it is what Y/you are happy with it is about the B/both of Y/you who are involved and N/no O/one else

smiles please be safe and stay well A/all
RbabyR

_____________________________

baby xxxx

(in reply to noiresilence)

Post #: 32

RE: Young slave Versus Old Master - 2/14/2005 10:23:10 AM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

I've been chatting with a Dom lately who is in his mid 40s and his slave is close to 60. When i asked him about the age difference he said the only thing that matters to him is her service and obedience.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to RbabyR)

Post #: 33

RE: Young slave Versus Old Master - 2/16/2005 3:59:38 AM

Searching41

Posts: 1
Joined: 9/18/2004
Status: offline

In the first place, if E/everyone would fill out T/their profile as to what they are looking for instead of poetry or BS, there wouldn't be a problem. Filling out your profile, as to what you want, what age group, if you will relocate, if you are looking for a M/male, F/female, or C/couple is like a spamkiller, it will eliminate a lot of trash mail. This is supposed to be about a life-style R/relationship, not about sex, marriage, or a beauty contest. If any &/or all of those things happen, then that is gravy to the R/relationship. you have to remember, that about 90% of the P/people on here are P/players &/or BS A/artist looking for a quickie, not a LTR. If you are well versed in the life-style, you can easly see the P/players, if you are not well versed, then do your homework &/or ask S/someone older to help you with your questions, not some I/idiot with a hard-on looking for a place to stick it. Experience usually come with age & real Dominance is a presence, not Someone shouting orders & acting like an ass.

< Message edited by Searching41 -- 2/17/2005 3:16:45 AM >

(in reply to noiresilence)

Post #: 34

RE: Young slave Versus Old Master - 5/15/2005 6:19:34 AM

ggonknees

Posts: 34
Joined: 3/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: noiresilence

How often have you been asked by a much older man to become His slave and what was your reaction ? My view is to find a man around my age, a Master, Husband, a Lover with whom I can discover things at same rate. I am not looking for any "Experimented Master".

He totally has to be older/more experienced. But that's just my personal taste. I've always loved older men anyway...but to have a Master/Dom who is doing something that needs so much skill/trust etc, i feel that experience is crucial (rightly or wrongly). Also, I wonder if it's a bit unusual for younger guys to work out that they are a Master/Dom and that it's something that comes to them as they get older. I don't know, it's just a thought.

gg

(in reply to noiresilence)

Post #: 35

RE: Young slave Versus Old Master - 5/15/2005 4:05:52 PM

LovePotionJezebl

Posts: 4
Joined: 4/5/2005
Status: offline

The responses you got sound pretty childish to me.. Perhaps these older Doms who sent them are insecure about their age??...

No one just popped up at the grand old age of 50 and became the worlds greatest, most experienced Dom. We all started somewhere. I look at any Dom who would put down a younger Dom due to age as an idiot.

(in reply to dally)

Post #: 36

RE: Young slave Versus Old Master - 5/15/2005 4:42:28 PM

Raphael

Posts: 263
Joined: 5/10/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NoCalOwner

Based on a few decades of experiences with people up to 15 years older, and up to 20 years younger than me, I can't say that age has mattered at all.

Considering that 20 years younger than me is still illegal and possibly pre-pubescent, I certainly can't match your range of experience on that end. Other than that detail, though, I can back you up fully - I've had relationships with people both much older, about the same age, and much younger, and my experience teaches me that stereotypes are wrong more often than right.

That said, if a person thinks that they need only look within a certain age range, then that's what they should do. There may be good reasons for it too. The sort of rudeness noiresilence talks about is just stupid and uncalled for.

quote:

I didn't always feel like this, however. When I was 18 I rejected a woman who was 36 based solely on her being twice my age.

I was the exact opposite. For years I would *only* look at older women. It started as a hard and fast rule - I had no interest in someone less experienced, less mature, than myself. Girls my age I saw as underdeveloped, shallow, giggly little bits of fluff, and utterly unattractive. And being that this was how I saw them, it would have been silly for me to have done differently at the time.

quote:

Celebrating a wonderful 9 years and 6 days with zoot, who is 20 years, 2 months and a day younger than me.

Zoot? Zoot!? You found the Castle Anthrax? Where is it, oh I pray you, good sir knight, where may I find the Castle Anthrax?

;)

RaphaEl

(in reply to NoCalOwner)

Post #: 37

RE: Young slave Versus Old Master - 5/15/2005 9:18:50 PM

junecleaver

Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Good Afternoon,

I am asking the submissives that are in search of a Master/Mistress

How often have you been asked by a much older man to become His slave and what was your reaction ?

I have this problem with people dying on me. I'm talking about normal, relatively healthy people just leaving me behind. It's very upsetting.

I don't date older men for several reasons:
1. I refuse to up my chances of someone dying on my prematurely by getting together with someone older than my dad.

2. An older person will most likely not be persuing the same goals I am.

3. I'm just not attracted to older men.

I get these answers usually:
1. But you need more guidance than a younger Dom can provide.

2. You are not real.

3. I'm really young at heart.

4. I'm not dying anytime soon. And by anytime soon they mean a decade.

(in reply to noiresilence)

Post #: 38

RE: Young slave Versus Old Master - 5/16/2005 6:09:53 AM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ggonknees
Also, I wonder if it's a bit unusual for younger guys to work out that they are a Master/Dom and that it's something that comes to them as they get older. I don't know, it's just a thought.

gg

It's no more unusual for males than females or doms or subs to come to know who they are before they are middle aged and frustrated with life.

I often sympathize for the younger males in the crowd because they really are judged very harshly with a lot of black marks against them. Of course then I see so many younger males act dorky and I know exactly where it comes from.

Yes it takes experience to understand and work effectively as a dominant, but we all know that age is no final indicator of ability and maturity. While I am more surprised than anyone that I fell in love with someone actually younger than myself, he is an extremely intelligent, capable, emotionally mature man.

While the Owner certainly IS more experienced and intelligent than I am, I am more experienced and educated in some areas than he is. He uses my talents to his advantage.

(in reply to ggonknees)

Post #: 39

RE: Young slave Versus Old Master - 5/16/2005 6:47:42 AM

cellogrrlMK

Posts: 672
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Estring

Rejecting someone on the basis of age is not the same as rejecting them because of race. There are real reasons why too big of an age difference will guarantee that the relationship fails. It also depends on the ages of the people involved. Being a 40/30 couple is much different than being a 30/20 couple.
I had a very young gf in the past, and though we truly loved each other, we are not together today precisely because as she grew and discovered herself, she realized that who she was and what her goals were did not follow the same path as I was on. And though there may be exceptions, this is usually what happens.

Excellent point Estring! When I was 20 I embarked on a relationship with a guy 23 years older than I. It ended for the exact reason you mentioned, I grew up and our goals became different. When I was 45 I started seeing someone 19 years older than I, and although it ended it seemed a lot more "comfortable" in many ways, because I was older and knew a little bit more about what I wanted out of life.

My husband/Master is three years old than I am and for me that's just perfect!

cello

(in reply to Estring)

Post #: 40

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