Anyone single on this site? (Full Version)

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SavvyFLRDomme -> Anyone single on this site? (12/25/2014 9:44:48 AM)

Is there anyone on this site who is not married and wants a monogamous relationship?
No doubt some people are poly-oriented and good for them. End of the day, that is their personal, private business.

I am sick and tired of married men approaching me when my profile states explicitly that I do not seek a poly relationship. Is anyone encountering this?



DaddySatyr -> RE: Anyone single on this site? (12/25/2014 11:00:47 AM)


What I generally encounter is a friendly, well thought-out message from me that goes along the lines of:

"I was reading your journal entry from __________ and I can relate. I remember this one time when ... and he didn't even have boots on! Anyway, GREAT journal entry. Have fun and good luck on the site!"

Earns me a response of: "I'm not poly. Please leave me alone"

That's been my experience, here.



Michael



SavvyFLRDomme -> RE: Anyone single on this site? (12/25/2014 11:14:02 AM)

Thanks and Merry Xmas to you, Michael.




Marini -> RE: Anyone single on this site? (12/25/2014 11:17:42 AM)

FLRDomme,

I have encountered my fair share of men that are married, or involved in serious vanilla relationships also.

After being on this site for 10 years, what I have encountered MORE than married men is ths:
those that are not looking for the same type of relationship I am looking for OR those that are looking for the same type of relationship I am looking for BUT live on the other side of the world. we don't share the same desires/kinks, or a thousand other issues or road blocks.

I accepted the fact many years ago, that many of the "submissive/slave" men on here need/or desire a kink provider, REGARDLESS of what they state in their profile.
Collarspace does not have a "bottom" category, and even if they add one, most of the bottoms on here would still not check that box.
[;)]


It is not easy, but the right man is out there.
Whether or not you "meet" him on Collarme or not, this is still a great place to hang out.

Don't give up, and good luck!

Merry Christmas!!!



Gauge -> RE: Anyone single on this site? (12/25/2014 11:26:42 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SavvyFLRDomme

Is there anyone on this site who is not married and wants a monogamous relationship?
No doubt some people are poly-oriented and good for them. End of the day, that is their personal, private business.

I am sick and tired of married men approaching me when my profile states explicitly that I do not seek a poly relationship. Is anyone encountering this?



What you maybe encountering is the "Kink = Easy Lay" crowd of clueless twits who are looking to cheat on their spouse.

You will have to separate the wheat from the chaff, and when they identify themselves as married, politely, and quickly kick them to the curb with a "No thanks, have a nice life."

Earnestly looking for someone can be an arduous task, one that requires fortitude and determination. Don't let it frustrate you, keep trying.

Welcome to the forums.



RockaRolla -> RE: Anyone single on this site? (12/25/2014 11:33:15 AM)

Sounds like you're in a minority of folks who message people without the expectation of getting laid. I'll bet you there women have dealt with pleasant conversation with guys who would use that as a means of getting around their limits. In the end this minority becomes collateral damage.

OP, I've found the best way to find people you're looking for ids to actually start looking, rather than wait for messages to roll in. Have you done much browsing on your own?



MissToYouRedux -> RE: Anyone single on this site? (12/25/2014 11:53:28 AM)

Married men who message with that fact are much better than the first meeting "I have to be honest with you" ones. [8|]



SweetForDaddy -> RE: Anyone single on this site? (12/25/2014 2:21:03 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SavvyFLRDomme

Is there anyone on this site who is not married and wants a monogamous relationship?
No doubt some people are poly-oriented and good for them. End of the day, that is their personal, private business.

I am sick and tired of married men approaching me when my profile states explicitly that I do not seek a poly relationship. Is anyone encountering this?



Yep, I get married men quite a bit, even though I explicitly ask for unmarried men. I don't even enter into conversation with them as a rule, they are easy to weed out as they are honest in their intentions (on here at least). Sometimes they keep trying and want to do the friendship thing but I don't want to be friends with married (trying to cheat) men on kinky/dating sites so I usually nip it in the bud.
People that are just friendly are different, they don't usually have the 'discrete' thing all over their profiles.



FieryOpal -> RE: Anyone single on this site? (12/25/2014 2:43:20 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MissToYouRedux

Married men who message with that fact are much better than the first meeting "I have to be honest with you" ones. [8|]

Ugh, I've thankfully only had this happen once. He swore up and down that he was actually separated even though he and his wife were still living under the same roof. Sorry dude, but that doesn't count as being officially separated. And until that divorce is final, you are still collared to, as in owned by, another. Or the one who told me that even though he had been living with a woman for the past 8 years, that he wasn't legally bound to her. [8|] (I've heard that a lot in the past from guys in LTRs who can so easily kick their SO to the curb without that piece of paper standing in the way of their philandering.)

OP, it really isn't that much different than on vanilla dating sites, other than on those you get to see how fugly they are right away for the most part instead of 1-2 messages later. I'm not one to get hung up on looks, but I can't do fugly.



seekingreality -> RE: Anyone single on this site? (12/25/2014 4:29:01 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SavvyFLRDomme

Is there anyone on this site who is not married and wants a monogamous relationship?
No doubt some people are poly-oriented and good for them. End of the day, that is their personal, private business.

I am sick and tired of married men approaching me when my profile states explicitly that I do not seek a poly relationship. Is anyone encountering this?



I think that's par for the course of any free dating site where people don't have to post their photos. They'll be bots, scammers, game players, liars. They'll be lots of people who ignore your criteria because they're playing a numbers game.

To me, it's the cost of doing business. No point in getting irritated by it, because it will never change. The best approach is just be real; don't lead with kink; ignore those that do.



DesFIP -> RE: Anyone single on this site? (12/25/2014 4:52:19 PM)

Go to any bar and you'll encounter the same. Why would you expect this to be vastly different from real people in real life?



SDFemDom4cuck -> RE: Anyone single on this site? (12/25/2014 11:29:54 PM)

I'm a Cuckoldress and I still won't consider a married male or even one in a long term vanilla relationship. Until that divorce is final and/or the relationship is over I refuse to even talk to most self proclaimed cucks/subs/slaves. Why waste time talking to someone that isn't available?? Yet they constantly approach. But then that is true of any dating site whether kink or vanilla.



Marini -> RE: Anyone single on this site? (12/26/2014 10:48:54 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SDFemDom4cuck

I'm a Cuckoldress and I still won't consider a married male or even one in a long term vanilla relationship. Until that divorce is final and/or the relationship is over I refuse to even talk to most self proclaimed cucks/subs/slaves. Why waste time talking to someone that isn't available?? Yet they constantly approach. But then that is true of any dating site whether kink or vanilla.


Funny thing is, even if they are not "married", many men are often involved with someone else.
It is not easy to find anyone that is totally "single" without any attachments, and they often don't feel that it is necessary to explain them.

Oh yes, I am totally single, just ignore that woman that I am living with, or the woman that I am dating, that I had sex with last night.
[;)]



littleladybug -> RE: Anyone single on this site? (12/26/2014 11:03:24 AM)

Ah yes....

My personal favorite is "yes, I'm married, but my wife doesn't understand me".

My response is "when you grow a set of balls, feel free to look me up".

Yup....what do you get for "free"? The same thing that you get on pay sites. A pool of people who are looking for something you are not. I can say, without a doubt, that there are people here who are available and looking for a monogamous relationship. It's just going to require some weeding on your part. Or, as I said when I went back to looking after many years, "holding your nose and jumping in".




mnottertail -> RE: Anyone single on this site? (12/26/2014 12:07:08 PM)

no one understands me.



Spiritedsub2 -> RE: Anyone single on this site? (12/26/2014 12:42:18 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Go to any bar and you'll encounter the same. Why would you expect this to be vastly different from real people in real life?

Nah. In real life married and coupled men don't go out bar hopping and seeking as much; their spouses/girlfriends would notice their absence. It's so much easier online to hide their status from women on these sites and their behavior from their partners.



UnholyBear -> RE: Anyone single on this site? (12/26/2014 2:37:43 PM)

FR

Guess I never shoulda gotten married couple months back?



LiveSpark -> RE: Anyone single on this site? (12/26/2014 2:57:17 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: UnholyBear

FR

Guess I never shoulda gotten married couple months back?


Congrats Bearman!



eulero83 -> RE: Anyone single on this site? (12/26/2014 3:22:56 PM)

FR

I'm single but I've issues



nighthawk3569 -> RE: Anyone single on this site? (12/26/2014 3:42:06 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

no one understands me.

 
 
Everyone understands you...all too well.  Love your signature quote. 



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