quote:

ORIGINAL: Janus69

[A] Today I had my first session with a new mistress.

[B] At this point, both of my nipples were raw, bleeding, and extremely sensitive, so within seconds of applying full pressure on one nipple I nearly passed out.

[C] This angered mistress quite a bit, and it most certainly affected the quality of aftercare. She did not offer consolation, even though I was feeling very down on myself for having failed. I proposed cock torture to make her feel better, but she was having none of it.

[D] Am I just being too much of a sissy boy, or should Mistress have done more? Was her disregard of my physical and emotional state justified or should there have been an in depth discussion?

[E] I have a background as a Dom, but aftercare has always been a critical strut in the foundations of past relationships.

quote:

ORIGINAL: orgasmdenial12

I, personally, would drop her on her ass. Her play sounds unsafe, ill-prepared and emotionally upsetting. Does she have any actual experience? Had you discussed limits and tolerances with her? What was your safeword, if any?

I used to get unsafe play recommendations all the time....

quote:

ORIGINAL: LiveSpark

Personally never mind aftercare I would stay the hell away from her. She doesn't seem to know what she's doing and I worry that she might seriously injure you. I suspect she has little if any experience and may have started playing without having taken the time to learn how to do things safely.

quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

Brackets mine

quote:

ORIGINAL: Janus69

[A] Today I had my first session with a new mistress.

[B] At this point, both of my nipples were raw, bleeding, and extremely sensitive, so within seconds of applying full pressure on one nipple I nearly passed out.

[C] This angered mistress quite a bit, and it most certainly affected the quality of aftercare. She did not offer consolation, even though I was feeling very down on myself for having failed. I proposed cock torture to make her feel better, but she was having none of it.

[D] Am I just being too much of a sissy boy, or should Mistress have done more? Was her disregard of my physical and emotional state justified or should there have been an in depth discussion?

[E] I have a background as a Dom, but aftercare has always been a critical strut in the foundations of past relationships.

*Groan* So much to say, so little time...
(Ref Item A) Let me ask you this, how long have you known your "new" Mistress? You are a S/switch, so I am wondering whether your new Domme has collared you as her sub (implying ownership) or whether she just sees you as her play partner bitch? I would like to get a feel for your commitment level with this woman, whom you are eager to refer to as your Mistress. Because, I'm inclined to agree with this...

quote:

ORIGINAL: orgasmdenial12

I, personally, would drop her on her ass. Her play sounds unsafe, ill-prepared and emotionally upsetting. Does she have any actual experience? Had you discussed limits and tolerances with her? What was your safeword, if any?

I used to get unsafe play recommendations all the time....

(Ref Items B&C)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LiveSpark

Personally never mind aftercare I would stay the hell away from her. She doesn't seem to know what she's doing and I worry that she might seriously injure you. I suspect she has little if any experience and may have started playing without having taken the time to learn how to do things safely.

B. Why didn't you safe word?
And if this is related to Item C, then why would you choose to deal with a Domme, any Dominant, who doesn't have enough self-control to not become angered with a new sub and appears to not be practicing BDSM in a safe manner. Was there any warm-up? You might have to explain to your Domme for her own enlightenment, that warm-up periods are in order as is aftercare. It sounds as if she is totally oblivious to these vital components. Then I would heartily recommend cutting all ties with this woman, since she more than likely won't take kindly to being told what to do (which is how she will probably see it).
C. (cont'd) She set you (and herself) up to fail. This isn't D/s or acts of consensual BDSM. This is a recipe for abuse and abusive co-dependency.

D. You both should have been having and continue to have in-depth discussions about anything and everything. Beware of any Dominant who isn't willing to communicate and respect your limits each step of the way. Btw, limits aren't limited to what has already been covered. Nobody can anticipate what s/he will encounter while scening.

E. You're only 21. I'm not being critical, but just how much experience can you have had as a Top in these few short years? (Don't answer to more than 3 so that we don't violate TOS for this site.) You know about aftercare. Would you have treated a sub of yours in this fashion? No, it sounds as if you wouldn't have been this irresponsible. Why would you then shortchange or second-guess yourself?

Quite frankly, this wannabe Mistress doesn't deserve you, and you can do better. Next time, don't jump into a full-blown scene the first time with a new Domme, and develop a trusting relationship with your next play partner without sub fever and Domme fever leading you by the d!ck. At the very minimum, ask yourself whether this person would be trustworthy as a friend who cares about your well-being and vice versa.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucylastic
<snip>
I wouldnt do what she did, but then again, Im a consent only sadist that loves the aftercare.
Breaking my toys is not my idea of a fun time.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Janus69

Today I had my first session with a new mistress. As ordered, I put binder rings on both of my nipples, removed the handles so that they could not be easily removed, and went to the store to pick up some alligator clips. Unfortunately they were out, so after having the binder clips yanked off with a string she ordered me to use jumper cables (not connected to anything) in the stead of the clips I was unable to find. At this point, both of my nipples were raw, bleeding, and extremely sensitive, so within seconds of applying full pressure on one nipple I nearly passed out.

quote:

This angered mistress quite a bit, and it most certainly affected the quality of aftercare. She did not offer consolation, even though I was feeling very down on myself for having failed. I proposed cock torture to make her feel better, but she was having none of it. Now I find myself questioning if I should have done something more, but Mistress has gone to bed and I dare not disturb her. The lack of answers is disturbing me, so I now come to you.

quote:

My question to you is this:
Am I just being too much of a sissy boy, or should Mistress have done more?

quote:

I have a background as a Dom, but aftercare has always been a critical strut in the foundations of past relationships. Are my attitudes as a dominant influencing these perceptions of my new mistress, or do I have cause for alarm.

quote:

Once she is awake, and her mood improved, I plan to discuss this with her in great depth, but I wanted to get the opinions of people other than my inner Top and inner bottom before I went running my mouth.

quote:

Thank you for reading. I look forward to seeing your thoughts on the matter.

quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucylastic
<snip>
I wouldnt do what she did, but then again, Im a consent only sadist that loves the aftercare.
Breaking my toys is not my idea of a fun time.

Whatever kind of relationship you have with a Dominant-Top, it boils down to this: How does she treat her toys? To one degree or another, whether D/s collared or a routinely scheduled BDSM play partner, you're going to be a Domme's boytoy.

What any sub-bottom should find out ahead of time is a Domme's track record on how she treats her toys, and why does she have an opening for a new sub? Does she treat them with care or does she mistreat them?

I'm also like you Lucy, and Maria, in that I go all out on aftercare. It also affords an intimate bonding opportunity which should never go to waste.
Males will sometimes shoo-shoo this as not being necessary and brush it off, that they're *tough* enough not to need it.
Ha, that's about as effective on me as my kitties trying to struggle to get away from being swooped up and smooched on. Goes with the territory of being my owned pet.

Lucy, I can't give you the Internet, so this will have to do. Bonne Année!

quote:

ORIGINAL: Janus69

Thank you all for taking the time to provide me with some food for thought. For the time being, things seem on the up-swing after airing my concerns.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Janus69

Thank you all for taking the time to provide me with some food for thought. For the time being, things seem on the up-swing after airing my concerns.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Janus69

Today I had my first session with a new mistress. As ordered, I put binder rings on both of my nipples, removed the handles so that they could not be easily removed, and went to the store to pick up some alligator clips. Unfortunately they were out, so after having the binder clips yanked off with a string she ordered me to use jumper cables (not connected to anything) in the stead of the clips I was unable to find. At this point, both of my nipples were raw, bleeding, and extremely sensitive, so within seconds of applying full pressure on one nipple I nearly passed out.

This angered mistress quite a bit, and it most certainly affected the quality of aftercare. She did not offer consolation, even though I was feeling very down on myself for having failed. I proposed cock torture to make her feel better, but she was having none of it. Now I find myself questioning if I should have done something more, but Mistress has gone to bed and I dare not disturb her. The lack of answers is disturbing me, so I now come to you.

My question to you is this:
Am I just being too much of a sissy boy, or should Mistress have done more? Was her disregard of my physical and emotional state justified or should there have been an in depth discussion?

I have a background as a Dom, but aftercare has always been a critical strut in the foundations of past relationships. Are my attitudes as a dominant influencing these perceptions of my new mistress, or do I have cause for alarm. Once she is awake, and her mood improved, I plan to discuss this with her in great depth, but I wanted to get the opinions of people other than my inner Top and inner bottom before I went running my mouth.

Thank you for reading. I look forward to seeing your thoughts on the matter.