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RE: Gee this is embarrassing - 12/29/2014 7:32:06 PM   
DaddySatyr


Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge


quote:

ORIGINAL: LiveSpark

For reasons I don't want to go into here I ended up on Santa's Nice List. I know I know totally embarrassing. So any suggestions on how I can get back on his Naughty List for next year?


Shoot a litter of puppies.

Cook kittens and post the video on YouTube.

Punch a woman in a hospital bed.

Run over orphans.

Kill the remaining Beatles.

Make all the paperclips in the world vanish.

Put purple dye in all soap products ever.

Find an endangered species. Make them extinct. Blame onions.

Save someone from an accident. Stalk them for the rest of their natural life.

Find a virus that prevents bacon from ever being made again.

If you need more help, let me know.



I don't know ... I think you missed a few:

I like to put on my best three-piece suit and go to the downtown area. When someone asks me for "spare change" for some "food", I just explain that I only carry Fifty dollar bills.

Also, on a nice hot day, go to the same area (dressed more weather-appropriate) and eat ice cream after ice cream until I throw it all up in front of those hungry people.

Of course, there's always the old favorite of going to the laundromat and, instead of adding purple dye (I happen to like purple), you wait until the person waiting for their laundry goes for a coffee or something and you stop their machine and throw all their clothes on the floor.

Oooooh! I like to walk around, pretending I hear sirens and stuff (usually right by a police station or firehouse) and warn people that they should leave the area because I hear sirens. That works ... for a few minutes.

I'm sure there are a few others. I've been as helpful as I can be.



Michael

_____________________________

A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Gee this is embarrassing - 12/29/2014 7:49:40 PM   
ReinRaus


Posts: 69
Joined: 4/11/2014
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: camille65

Blame onions. That one made me laugh.

And I'm trying so hard to come up with a remark that is witty n clever but I took Nyquil. So the words are swirling in my head, I just can't pluck them out.


She could switch out someone's NyQuil with non-drowsy DayQuil. DUN DUN DUN.

(in reply to camille65)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Gee this is embarrassing - 12/29/2014 10:44:14 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ReinRaus

She could switch out someone's NyQuil with non-drowsy DayQuil. DUN DUN DUN.



Or eliminate the medication entirely and make it liquid laxative. DayLax... gentle relief while you waste your day on the shitter.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to ReinRaus)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Gee this is embarrassing - 12/29/2014 11:25:42 PM   
ReinRaus


Posts: 69
Joined: 4/11/2014
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge

Or eliminate the medication entirely and make it liquid laxative. DayLax... gentle relief while you waste your day on the shitter.


That is some dark shit, man.






(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Gee this is embarrassing - 12/30/2014 5:04:45 AM   
LiveSpark


Posts: 808
Joined: 12/25/2014
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge


quote:

ORIGINAL: ReinRaus

She could switch out someone's NyQuil with non-drowsy DayQuil. DUN DUN DUN.



Or eliminate the medication entirely and make it liquid laxative. DayLax... gentle relief while you waste your day on the shitter.


<Makes a note to NEVER accept a drink from Gauge>

_____________________________

I've been here as MontrealPhoenix, zephyr and
TheFireWithinMe.

I also have the sarcasm gene which is NOT to be taken seriously.

If you fall I'll always be there to catch you ~ Floor

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Gee this is embarrassing - 12/30/2014 5:11:00 AM   
LiveSpark


Posts: 808
Joined: 12/25/2014
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge


quote:

ORIGINAL: LiveSpark


Gee cooking kittens and shooting puppies is bad enough but preventing bacon from ever being made again....NEVER. I think I just found a new hard limit.



I know I know but dude it's BACON!!! Bacon is sacred, necessary, one of the food groups.

And this is why you ended up on the nice list.



_____________________________

I've been here as MontrealPhoenix, zephyr and
TheFireWithinMe.

I also have the sarcasm gene which is NOT to be taken seriously.

If you fall I'll always be there to catch you ~ Floor

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Gee this is embarrassing - 12/30/2014 5:25:00 AM   
Lucylastic


Posts: 40310
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ReinRaus


quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge

Or eliminate the medication entirely and make it liquid laxative. DayLax... gentle relief while you waste your day on the shitter.


That is some dark shit, man.







its darker if you take iron pills!

_____________________________

(•_•)
<) )╯SUCH
/ \

\(•_•)
( (> A NASTY
/ \

(•_•)
<) )> WOMAN
/ \

Duchess Of Dissent
Dont Hate Love

(in reply to ReinRaus)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Gee this is embarrassing - 12/30/2014 5:27:54 AM   
LiveSpark


Posts: 808
Joined: 12/25/2014
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucylastic


quote:

ORIGINAL: ReinRaus


quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge

Or eliminate the medication entirely and make it liquid laxative. DayLax... gentle relief while you waste your day on the shitter.


That is some dark shit, man.







its darker if you take iron pills!


SCARY dark sometimes!

_____________________________

I've been here as MontrealPhoenix, zephyr and
TheFireWithinMe.

I also have the sarcasm gene which is NOT to be taken seriously.

If you fall I'll always be there to catch you ~ Floor

(in reply to Lucylastic)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Gee this is embarrassing - 12/30/2014 5:36:24 AM   
Lucylastic


Posts: 40310
Status: offline 		smirkles


_____________________________

(•_•)
<) )╯SUCH
/ \

\(•_•)
( (> A NASTY
/ \

(•_•)
<) )> WOMAN
/ \

Duchess Of Dissent
Dont Hate Love

(in reply to LiveSpark)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Gee this is embarrassing - 12/30/2014 5:37:56 AM   
LiveSpark


Posts: 808
Joined: 12/25/2014
Status: offline 		Now CUT that out!!!! <-----MIGHT be the wrong thing to say but I'm saying it anyway.

_____________________________

I've been here as MontrealPhoenix, zephyr and
TheFireWithinMe.

I also have the sarcasm gene which is NOT to be taken seriously.

If you fall I'll always be there to catch you ~ Floor

(in reply to Lucylastic)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Gee this is embarrassing - 12/30/2014 5:42:17 AM   
Lucylastic


Posts: 40310
Status: offline 		so many bad jokes percolating in my brain right now:)
But Ima gonna behave:)
Well I'm gonna try


_____________________________

(•_•)
<) )╯SUCH
/ \

\(•_•)
( (> A NASTY
/ \

(•_•)
<) )> WOMAN
/ \

Duchess Of Dissent
Dont Hate Love

(in reply to LiveSpark)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Gee this is embarrassing - 12/30/2014 5:45:24 AM   
LiveSpark


Posts: 808
Joined: 12/25/2014
Status: offline 		Thank you I appreciate it. If memory serves they really are spectacularly bad.

_____________________________

I've been here as MontrealPhoenix, zephyr and
TheFireWithinMe.

I also have the sarcasm gene which is NOT to be taken seriously.

If you fall I'll always be there to catch you ~ Floor

(in reply to Lucylastic)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Gee this is embarrassing - 12/30/2014 5:49:45 AM   
Lucylastic


Posts: 40310
Status: offline 		one or two of them even make me blush....

_____________________________

(•_•)
<) )╯SUCH
/ \

\(•_•)
( (> A NASTY
/ \

(•_•)
<) )> WOMAN
/ \

Duchess Of Dissent
Dont Hate Love

(in reply to LiveSpark)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Gee this is embarrassing - 12/30/2014 5:51:00 AM   
LiveSpark


Posts: 808
Joined: 12/25/2014
Status: offline 		And so they should.

_____________________________

I've been here as MontrealPhoenix, zephyr and
TheFireWithinMe.

I also have the sarcasm gene which is NOT to be taken seriously.

If you fall I'll always be there to catch you ~ Floor

(in reply to Lucylastic)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Gee this is embarrassing - 12/30/2014 5:58:36 AM   
Lucylastic


Posts: 40310
Status: offline 		im suitably abashed:)

_____________________________

(•_•)
<) )╯SUCH
/ \

\(•_•)
( (> A NASTY
/ \

(•_•)
<) )> WOMAN
/ \

Duchess Of Dissent
Dont Hate Love

(in reply to LiveSpark)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Gee this is embarrassing - 12/30/2014 5:59:34 AM   
LiveSpark


Posts: 808
Joined: 12/25/2014
Status: offline 		No you aren't lol

_____________________________

I've been here as MontrealPhoenix, zephyr and
TheFireWithinMe.

I also have the sarcasm gene which is NOT to be taken seriously.

If you fall I'll always be there to catch you ~ Floor

(in reply to Lucylastic)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Gee this is embarrassing - 12/30/2014 6:10:07 AM   
Lucylastic


Posts: 40310
Status: offline 		Grins, I never could get away with being abashed.....something to do with a "glint" or sumfing

_____________________________

(•_•)
<) )╯SUCH
/ \

\(•_•)
( (> A NASTY
/ \

(•_•)
<) )> WOMAN
/ \

Duchess Of Dissent
Dont Hate Love

(in reply to LiveSpark)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Gee this is embarrassing - 12/30/2014 6:15:36 AM   
LiveSpark


Posts: 808
Joined: 12/25/2014
Status: offline 		A glint...a smirkle...gives you away every time.

_____________________________

I've been here as MontrealPhoenix, zephyr and
TheFireWithinMe.

I also have the sarcasm gene which is NOT to be taken seriously.

If you fall I'll always be there to catch you ~ Floor

(in reply to Lucylastic)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Gee this is embarrassing - 12/30/2014 6:31:15 AM   
Lucylastic


Posts: 40310
Status: offline 		hehehehe




Attachment (1)

_____________________________

(•_•)
<) )╯SUCH
/ \

\(•_•)
( (> A NASTY
/ \

(•_•)
<) )> WOMAN
/ \

Duchess Of Dissent
Dont Hate Love

(in reply to LiveSpark)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Gee this is embarrassing - 12/30/2014 6:33:34 AM   
LiveSpark


Posts: 808
Joined: 12/25/2014
Status: offline 		HOLY SHIT!!!!! Way to give me a heart attack just in time for my vacation. <dials 911>

_____________________________

I've been here as MontrealPhoenix, zephyr and
TheFireWithinMe.

I also have the sarcasm gene which is NOT to be taken seriously.

If you fall I'll always be there to catch you ~ Floor

(in reply to Lucylastic)
Profile   Post #: 40
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