My Master Lied to Me (Full Version)

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CelticSkull2 -> My Master Lied to Me (1/1/2015 1:39:38 PM)

This thing of ours is very different than your standard boyfriend/ girlfriend arrangement. As we all know, it’s deeper and much more intimate and personal. So when something goes wrong, its affects us much more- on a deeper level.

Speaking as a submissive, I can tell you we give our all. Sure, it’s easy to say a Dominant owns us heart, mind, body, and soul but when you really think about it, that’s pretty profound. That’s an awful lot to give another human being. What I am speaking of today, however, is the mind and the heart.

I have been thrown into a situation where I recently discovered my Master lied to me. It wasn’t about anything huge or horrible or anything like that (in fact if he had just told me straight up, I would have been fine with it- it really wasn’t a big deal) but nevertheless, it was a lie. An untruth. Something he allowed me to believe that was not true and then lied from his own mouth regarding the situation.

My whole world shattered. My heart literally broke. I am heartbroken still. I went from completely believing and trusting this man with my all, my everything, to doubt and fear and disillusionment. My mindset and heart were flipped upside down. I could not fathom this betrayal of my trust. I have a million questions running through my mind along with a million fears filling my heart. Both are drowning out any rational thought or action.

A Master is supposed to take care of his submissive and she is supposed to submit and obey and trust him fully and completely. After all, I entrusted this person with my most intimate thoughts and desires. No secrets, no lies, no hesitation. I trust this person to be strong and in control and provide what I need and want, and I give him what he needs and wants. I believed in this person with my whole heart. I trusted my Master.

My Master promised me he would always be honest with me, then lied to me and now I no longer trust him. I no longer believe in him. He has tried to explain that he lied to me to protect my feelings and he thought he was doing the right thing. He admitted it was a mistake and apologized. I understand why. I accept his apology. What I am struggling with is his refusal to promise to never lie to me again. How, then, can I believe anything- ANYTHING- he tells me? What if it’s one of his lies? He broke his promise to me, his promise to always be honest with me.

People are people and people are imperfect- even Dominants. I get that. I am okay with that. But, I have no idea how to trust and believe him again. He says time will heal this wound. Sure, eventually I will stop being furious and the pain will most likely go away but will I trust again? WILL I TRUST AGAIN?

That wonder terrifies me. I am an Aquarius. We do not give our trust lightly and when it is broken, it is not regained. No one, NO ONE, has ever betrayed me and regained my trust. Knowing this personal history, how can I believe my Master will? How can I believe in him again?

I am lost, confused, and scared and talking to him about it hasn’t helped at all. He grows tired of “talking about the same thing over and over and over again” but I don’t feel any better and I don’t feel like the issue is resolved, so I NEED to talk about it.



SMgirl66 -> RE: My Master Lied to Me (1/1/2015 1:48:09 PM)

huggs to you, i know how you are feeling, and there is no answer to your question. to trust in someone especially the trust you give to your owner and to have that broken is a hard thing to take.

i have severe trust issues from the past and time heals but the mind sometimes has a hard time. acknowledge to him that you know you are saying the same things over and over, but also let him know that he caused it and for you to heal you need to talk about it. also try to live in the moment....mindfulness is hard i have just started doing this but sometimes reliving our past hurts only distress us more.

will you ever trust his words? no one can say but what you may start trying to do is remember the man you trusted remember that in most things he was honest with you, and that he made a poor decision but one he thought was right, we all make bad decisions but with good intent and i know i don't know either of you but i hope that maybe something i said holds true.

i hope in time you and he can move forward to a good place in your relationship, and remember in all things "this too shall pass"



ExiledTyrant -> RE: My Master Lied to Me (1/1/2015 1:56:29 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticSkull2

I am an Aquarius. We do not give our trust lightly and when it is broken, it is not regained. No one, NO ONE, has ever betrayed me and regained my trust.


There you have it. Move on since it is shattered.



GoddessManko -> RE: My Master Lied to Me (1/1/2015 2:03:15 PM)

This is a tough situation to address without knowing you both, and even if I did I may still not come out with the right answer so here it goes. Did he lie about a lifestyle related question? Did he lie about a make/break situation? Did he opt to tell you the truth or decide against it and you had to find out on your own? How long have you two been together? Is he a caring, supportive partner overall? Are you trying to ignore signs that perhaps do help you see the truth of the situation? Are you compromising more than you're comfortable? Unfortunately I cannot give you the answers but I gave you some questions you can ask yourself. When you are in that bubble which is "love/surrender" and give your all like you stated, you end up having tunnel vision, this too is an occurrence in vanilla relationships. But very much more so our own M/s, especially when we expect submissives to feel safe with us, always.
White lie; "Do I look terrible in this?" His response; "you look good in anything!"
No woman does, he might truly feel this way or wanting to spare your feelings because the dress to him is just another mask you wear. Essentially he is lying but is the lying forgivable?
Intentional deception is a very hard road to recover from once trust is broken. You alone know if you can forgive but you should not hold him to a higher standard than yourself in regards to fundamental relationship questions, no matter the context of the relationship including friendship.



freedomdwarf1 -> RE: My Master Lied to Me (1/1/2015 2:08:54 PM)

I don't believe in all that astrology stuff so the fact that you are 'Aquarius' is irrelevant to me.

What does puzzle me is that you've written this as if you are the female sub but your profile says you are a 57yo male dominant in Ohio?? [8|]
So for that, your question is confusing me to hell and back.



CelticSkull2 -> RE: My Master Lied to Me (1/1/2015 2:11:36 PM)

We have been together roughly 3 1/2 months. Overall, he is great. He lied about something very small. It wasn't a big deal at all and I am not angry at the actual thing he lied about. I could seriously care less. He lied because he didnt want me to feel left out and my feelings get hurt. I get that. My point is, he lied and it was intentional- after promising me he would always be honest with me. Now, whenever he asks me, "Has Daddy ever broken a promise to you?" I will have to answer YES. Its devestating.

Also, freedomwarf.... tee hee- yes I am a girl :-) This is a rogue profile to keep the creeps away :-D



ExiledTyrant -> RE: My Master Lied to Me (1/1/2015 2:18:43 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticSkull2

Also, freedomwarf.... tee hee- yes I am a girl :-) This is a rogue profile to keep the creeps away :-D


Well that shit isn't working out so well, we found you.

Jus sayin



CelticSkull2 -> RE: My Master Lied to Me (1/1/2015 2:20:48 PM)

hahahahaa ExiledTyrant- I needed that laugh- thank you <3



SinFix -> RE: My Master Lied to Me (1/1/2015 2:21:09 PM)

Ok.. you've been "together" 3 1/2 months... You barely know him, yet he is your master... He lied to you.. and this is heartbreaking, drama laden drivel...

The internet at its finest



CelticSkull2 -> RE: My Master Lied to Me (1/1/2015 2:23:02 PM)

:-D



SMgirl66 -> RE: My Master Lied to Me (1/1/2015 2:24:11 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SinFix

Ok.. you've been "together" 3 1/2 months... You barely know him, yet he is your master... He lied to you.. and this is heartbreaking, drama laden drivel...

The internet at its finest



hey to someone this can be devastating, please don't dump over someone's feelings just because you think its insignificant. if you think its drivel thats ok your entitled but don't comment on it and make a person feel bad there is no need for that



SinFix -> RE: My Master Lied to Me (1/1/2015 2:25:27 PM)

LMAO.. umm I quoted your "been together 3 1/2 months" actually I have taken everything you put up verbatim... so honey, explain MY bs, cause it sure smells and looks like yours



LiveSpark -> RE: My Master Lied to Me (1/1/2015 2:26:23 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticSkull2

Not that I care what you think but I have known him for much, much longer. We decided to get together as a couple 3 1/2 month ago. You should prob get your facts straight before you start with your bullshit, ignorant comments.


The only facts we have are the ones you've given us. So yes it comes across as drama. I suggest stopping the snark we aren't psychic we can only comment on what you tell us.



CelticSkull2 -> RE: My Master Lied to Me (1/1/2015 2:26:56 PM)

I appreciate your support SMgirl- I blocked that person and their posts will no longer show. I am not here to fight via keyboard strokes. I am here for advice and support and I appreciate all who take the time to help <3



GoddessManko -> RE: My Master Lied to Me (1/1/2015 2:27:28 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticSkull2

We have been together roughly 3 1/2 months. Overall, he is great. He lied about something very small. It wasn't a big deal at all and I am not angry at the actual thing he lied about. I could seriously care less. He lied because he didnt want me to feel left out and my feelings get hurt. I get that. My point is, he lied and it was intentional- after promising me he would always be honest with me. Now, whenever he asks me, "Has Daddy ever broken a promise to you?" I will have to answer YES. Its devestating.

Also, freedomwarf.... tee hee- yes I am a girl :-) This is a rogue profile to keep the creeps away :-D


The good news is it's early enough for you to rethink and reconsider things. I am a person who is hardly ever intentionally deceptive unless out of necessity. Sometimes with lifestyle things we do hide/lie about things more than most because it is hard to have that crossover of lifestyle meeting everyday life. For some people it is, self included. My church going neighbors don't need to know my sins. So you have to question motives and also try to figure out of he is someone who seems to be inclined to "hiding things" or "leaving you in the dark". Does he erase his computer history? Is his cellphone password protected? Does he lunge for the phone when you're reaching for it? Have you ever seen anything belonging to another female around his place?
You will have to have a bit of an investigative mind and see if he gives any more reasons to pause. If they are there, they will surface quickly depending on the amount of effort you apply into figuring it out. There you will find your answer.
Baiting him with questions is fine too. This person essentially is still a stranger that you have decided you are going to trust with your all. There is nothing wrong with finding evidence to support or reject your decision. As he is human, so are you and you too can make mistakes. Like the mistake of trusting him. Time will tell along with an investigative mind seeking answers. We cannot tell you definitively what the right decision is.



SinFix -> RE: My Master Lied to Me (1/1/2015 2:29:18 PM)

LiveSpark.. apparently, using what she herself said is not appreciated and I should pat a complete stranger on the head that posted her personal problems on the internet...



CelticSkull2 -> RE: My Master Lied to Me (1/1/2015 2:30:22 PM)

Thank you for your help. Just to be clear, I have been with him as a couple for 3 1/2 months but I have known him for much longer. I prob wasn't very clear on that above.



SMgirl66 -> RE: My Master Lied to Me (1/1/2015 2:30:45 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticSkull2

I appreciate your support SMgirl- I blocked that person and their posts will no longer show. I am not here to fight via keyboard strokes. I am here for advice and support and I appreciate all who take the time to help <3



no problem i dislike people doing that, no matter what i think i go by my grandmas saying

if you don't have something nice to say don't say it at all.
its not up to me to judge how quick someone gets into a relationship, that was not your question, hell i have made some silly choices in my life but having someone dump on me would not and does not help when all your asking for is advice on one area



SinFix -> RE: My Master Lied to Me (1/1/2015 2:37:37 PM)

Again, where exactly did I say anything about her..

I recapped in short form what she said..

then said the internet at its finest.. how is any of that on her?



ExiledTyrant -> RE: My Master Lied to Me (1/1/2015 2:41:50 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticSkull2

I appreciate your support SMgirl- I blocked that person and their posts will no longer show. I am not here to fight via keyboard strokes. I am here for advice and support and I appreciate all who take the time to help <3


Support what, exactly?

You've given us enough information to deduce that you want him to wear a scarlet "L" for something we know nothing about. I get that you're hurt, that this may have been your first trip in not-so-well-informed D/s, but you need to understand that we are viewing one side of a convoluted story that we have no information about, do not have the other half of the story, and on this particular forum we have members with life threatening crises that we are well informed about, we suffer (emotionally) with them. We see Icarus posts a LOT, and it is quite difficult to extend empathy with so little information.

That said, you're going to have to dish out more info if you really want help with this.

Jus sayin



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