Case of the dissappearing dom??

Case of the dissappearing dom?? (Full Version)

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wantitnow569 -> Case of the dissappearing dom?? (7/13/2006 5:11:34 PM)
Good afternoon all..... i hope this is not too presumptious or forward on my part, but i guess the time has come where i need some assistance..... My "Master" has this odd little habit of disappearing for days and sometimes weeks at a time... Although, they are always followed up with really great reasons and apologies for his disappearance; i guess i'm currently at a point where i am trying to figure out what i should be doing....i mean should i push Him to prove his rationale for His absence or should i let Him go? sigh Thanks, want it

mnottertail -> RE: Case of the dissappearing dom?? (7/13/2006 5:18:10 PM)
I read your profile...... I drive 45 miles one way to work over country lanes, I do remember one cold and blustery evening where I saw your dom lying in the ditch, body broken and covered in blood with the words "IwantItNow' escaping his frozen and near lifeless lips......so I will vouch for him in terms of that specific instance... If you need communication to be whole.....then you must communicate. Any woman will tell you he has two wives and his answer will be, "isn't that big of me?" You tell half a story; what is his half? The rest you should be able to puzzle out without having to parse the meanings of tough love people like me. Fix it, or fuck it. Ron

FunSeeker -> RE: Case of the dissappearing dom?? (7/13/2006 5:24:02 PM)
I'm assuming you are in an online or long-distance relationship. If you were living with a man full time, would you still be asking this question if he tended to disappear and not come home for days or weeks at a time? Doubt it...

sensualatina -> RE: Case of the dissappearing dom?? (7/13/2006 7:04:01 PM)
i would personally say G'bye at that point, but i'm an attention whore hence needing constant attention lol. i think that You should ask Yourself if You can be with a man that leaves mysteriously for long times and doesn't even explain his reason for leaving before he leaves, but waits until he comes back (He can always use that time to come up with a good excuse). Personally i wouldn't put up with it, especially if it's constant no matter how much i like the person, and no matter how "good" the excuse is. i bet he's the type of person that could charm his way out of being convicted of murder with a "good" excuse.

mnottertail -> RE: Case of the dissappearing dom?? (7/13/2006 7:12:08 PM)
Ja, I don't want to rag on you, lovely lady, but fuck that........easiest thing in the world to dump a cunt or cock. This mistake can be made repeatedly until the day you die. He said, she said......... End of the joke is; she might be a bitch on wheels.....we don't know. But she is dissatisfied with his explications, but asks advice out here , after acquiescing to his less than fulfilling explianations..... She has made a bed, if it is not comfortable,,,,,,she has to say out loud, this is not OK. yadda, yadda, yadda.........fill in the blanks.. you must trust, he must trust, it isn't blame or guilt.....it is LIFE. Be straightforward in your dealings, and expect no less from your mate. Agree to disagree is fine, humanity is something we all suffer, but don't fuck around and think that I should know what you are thinking by the way you tilt your head.

greneyedjewel -> RE: Case of the dissappearing dom?? (7/13/2006 7:19:08 PM)
I tend to agree with everyone here. You already know the solution to this problem. I know it's hard but it's time to protect yourself and kick this "Master" the curb. In the vanilla world this is not acceptable behavior. In this one, from what I have witnessed, most work so hard toward trust and protectiveness, that can't be achieved if his disappearing act keeps repeating itself. I personally wouldn't want it repeated.

wantitnow569 -> RE: Case of the dissappearing dom?? (7/13/2006 7:23:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mnottertail Ja, I don't want to rag on you, lovely lady, but fuck that........easiest thing in the world to dump a cunt or cock. This mistake can be made repeatedly until the day you die. He said, she said......... End of the joke is; she might be a bitch on wheels.....we don't know. But she is dissatisfied with his explications, but asks advice out here , after acquiescing to his less than fulfilling explianations..... She has made a bed, if it is not comfortable,,,,,,she has to say out loud, this is not OK. yadda, yadda, yadda.........fill in the blanks.. you must trust, he must trust, it isn't blame or guilt.....it is LIFE. Be straightforward in your dealings, and expect no less from your mate. Agree to disagree is fine, humanity is something we all suffer, but don't fuck around and think that I should know what you are thinking by the way you tilt your head. Good evening, i just wanted to clarify a few things that occured to me, as a result of Your reply....My "Master" and i have recently had several conversations about his disappearances...and in fact after the last one he said to me, "thank You girl...for knocking some sense into me." i guess i assumed that he was trustworthy and could be taken at his word...there are times, however, when i fear i don't come across very "subly" (lack of better explanations...) due to my frankness and my need for communication...i don't now if any of this means anything to anyone other than....i need some sleep and need to stop clicking on the reply button...LOL..

crouchingtigress -> RE: Case of the dissappearing dom?? (7/13/2006 8:38:16 PM)
is it possible that he works for the CIA ?[image]http://www.collarchat.com/micons/m21.gif[/image]

littlemissub -> RE: Case of the dissappearing dom?? (7/13/2006 10:05:48 PM)
As someone else said, we are only hearing half the story here so it is hard to judge, but you need to decide if this is something you can put up with or not and than proceed to do what will make you the happiest. although, I would suggest communication with him before making any final decisions.

Vancouver_cinful -> RE: Case of the dissappearing dom?? (7/13/2006 10:41:25 PM)
I'm with the others. This is not acceptable behaviour, and you need to be firm and discuss it. This could be one of those rare occasions when this doesn't mean he is living a double life, but I'm going to be honest, and say it just sounds like the same-old, same-old to me.

sexypet -> RE: Case of the dissappearing dom?? (7/13/2006 10:49:22 PM)
Gee in my world it's more like the case of the disappearing Doms. Would that it were only One who disappeared, lol.

littlemissub -> RE: Case of the dissappearing dom?? (7/13/2006 10:59:34 PM)
lol sexypet. I hear ya. I have had it happen to me twice now. I think I am a bit intense for the average Dom.

VikingHouse -> RE: Case of the dissappearing dom?? (7/14/2006 12:39:34 AM)
Isn't it possible that you've been remiss in reminding Him that He hasn't added you to the Cingular Family Plan yet, or is it possible that the other girls are rather happy that you aren't able to call Him just yet? Do you deserve the new cellphone and your own number, or are you simply thinking that wet pussy is worthy of praise and privelege? Gentry

wandering4u -> RE: Case of the dissappearing dom?? (7/14/2006 2:47:07 AM)
Did I hear right that he acknowledges that his vanishing act is not good? He acknowledges but still continues. Seems rather clear to me.

subedana -> RE: Case of the dissappearing dom?? (7/14/2006 4:57:33 AM)
Yea hear you there. See lots and lots of red about. He'd have done it one time and been gone. General rule of thumb, if it's not acceptable behavior in the nilla world chances are is isn't in this one either. quote: ORIGINAL: wandering4u Did I hear right that he acknowledges that his vanishing act is not good? He acknowledges but still continues. Seems rather clear to me.

MrrPete -> RE: Case of the dissappearing dom?? (7/14/2006 5:28:42 AM)
The disappering Dom needs to experience the disappearing sub. Come visit me for a week and see how he likes it. :)

windchymes -> RE: Case of the dissappearing dom?? (7/14/2006 5:35:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: wantitnow569 quote: ORIGINAL: mnottertail Ja, I don't want to rag on you, lovely lady, but fuck that........easiest thing in the world to dump a cunt or cock. This mistake can be made repeatedly until the day you die. He said, she said......... End of the joke is; she might be a bitch on wheels.....we don't know. But she is dissatisfied with his explications, but asks advice out here , after acquiescing to his less than fulfilling explianations..... She has made a bed, if it is not comfortable,,,,,,she has to say out loud, this is not OK. yadda, yadda, yadda.........fill in the blanks.. you must trust, he must trust, it isn't blame or guilt.....it is LIFE. Be straightforward in your dealings, and expect no less from your mate. Agree to disagree is fine, humanity is something we all suffer, but don't fuck around and think that I should know what you are thinking by the way you tilt your head. Good evening, i just wanted to clarify a few things that occured to me, as a result of Your reply....My "Master" and i have recently had several conversations about his disappearances...and in fact after the last one he said to me, "thank You girl...for knocking some sense into me." i guess i assumed that he was trustworthy and could be taken at his word...there are times, however, when i fear i don't come across very "subly" (lack of better explanations...) due to my frankness and my need for communication...i don't now if any of this means anything to anyone other than....i need some sleep and need to stop clicking on the reply button...LOL.. Another way to create a mindfuck is to blow smoke up someone's ass. He tells you, "Oh thank you for knocking sense into me...." and you eat it up and continue thinking how wonderful he is and how wonderful you are for taking such good care of him..... And he goes back into the same patterns. I've posted this before and I'll post it again, wise words my dad always told me: "Believe what a man DOES, not what a man SAYS!"

sensualatina -> RE: Case of the dissappearing dom?? (7/14/2006 9:03:33 AM)
quote: Good evening, i just wanted to clarify a few things that occured to me, as a result of Your reply....My "Master" and i have recently had several conversations about his disappearances...and in fact after the last one he said to me, "thank You girl...for knocking some sense into me." i guess i assumed that he was trustworthy and could be taken at his word...there are times, however, when i fear i don't come across very "subly" (lack of better explanations...) due to my frankness and my need for communication...i don't now if any of this means anything to anyone other than....i need some sleep and need to stop clicking on the reply button...LOL.. Sweet heart the need for communication does not make you less subby ( i think i read that right) than the next girl/boy it just makes You human. Like i said before He's definitely not worth it.. i agree with everyone else that says he's just blowing smoke when He said You knocked some sense into him. So you want to know where he is.. what he's doing.. that's normal, i want to know where mine is lol.. but then again i'm needy.. and He knows that so He tells me what He's doing. Mine recently went on a vacation to Seattle He could have easily left for a whole week and then told what He did.. but He told me He was going to be gone and wanted me to write Him daily e-mails, which i did. He got online when He could to speak to me and frankly.. i don't know what i would have done if He had just disappeared (since i'm sooo used to talking to Him all the time) But the point is.. if You feel something is wrong.. and it's not getting fixed.. just leave, end the relationship.. heart ache, pain, and doubt does not have a part in a relationship, vanilla OR BDSM one.

Owned1 -> RE: Case of the dissappearing dom?? (7/14/2006 2:10:00 PM)
In any BDSM relationship there needs to be mutual respect. You are not being respected. He needs to understand your fears are not only he is cheating (although you did not say that i am sure at some point you have thought it) my worries would be is he dead? is he married? etc etc. How can you trust giving yourself to another when you dont know when they will next dissapear??

TemptingNviceSub -> RE: Case of the dissappearing dom?? (7/14/2006 7:50:44 PM)
Well you have discussed this with him..you communicated your worries..now it is up to him..if he changes then whoo hoo.. if not...then you may need to reanalyze the importance of this relationship and where you go from here..give it sayyy about a 3 week time frame..see if he stays consistent with contact, then great .I am thinking if not then either he is misleading you in some way or you are just not important enough..his choice of behavior your choice of action..be well..Tempting

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