RE: Definitive Answer

RE: Definitive Answer (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion

Message

needlesandpins -> RE: Definitive Answer (1/8/2015 3:22:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littleladybug No doubt. Just thinking on the other side...what if someone doesn't have that? on that particular site I've been told that some refuse to meet others that don't already have verifications. you get a lot of whinging about it in the forums, which I'm sure is just as annoying there as it is here when we get them complaining of fakes. then there are always those that think it's cool to post photos of themselves with another. from a single females point of view I can see the verifications being a good thing to tell her a guy is safe to meet. however, some also cheat by having multiple accounts, and just making it look at though they have them. You'd have to do your homework on that too I should think. needles

littleladybug -> RE: Definitive Answer (1/8/2015 3:22:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LiveSpark I'm not so sure I would trust that system. First of all friends of someone are unlikely to say bad things about a friend. Secondly if they then have a fight BOOM there goes the reference. I agree. The other thing I'm thinking about is that this is probably a much better system for those who are looking for "play partners". I don't see many people who are looking for a LTR having a string of people behind them on a website willing to vouch for who they are.

littleladybug -> RE: Definitive Answer (1/8/2015 3:24:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: needlesandpins from a single females point of view I can see the verifications being a good thing to tell her a guy is safe to meet. however, some also cheat by having multiple accounts, and just making it look at though they have them. You'd have to do your homework on that too I should think. needles Totally understood. Different system, same issue. Do what you need to do to feel comfortable before meeting someone.

LiveSpark -> RE: Definitive Answer (1/8/2015 3:26:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littleladybug quote: ORIGINAL: LiveSpark I'm not so sure I would trust that system. First of all friends of someone are unlikely to say bad things about a friend. Secondly if they then have a fight BOOM there goes the reference. I agree. The other thing I'm thinking about is that this is probably a much better system for those who are looking for "play partners". I don't see many people who are looking for a LTR having a string of people behind them on a website willing to vouch for who they are. I'd rather get to know that person and judge for myself. It really isn't all that difficult.

littleladybug -> RE: Definitive Answer (1/8/2015 3:28:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LiveSpark I'd rather get to know that person and judge for myself. It really isn't all that difficult. And there's another alternative. [:D]

CreativeDominant -> RE: Definitive Answer (1/8/2015 5:10:23 PM)
So glad I am the angelic sort...

LiveSpark -> RE: Definitive Answer (1/8/2015 5:11:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant So glad I am the angelic sort... <snort>

LookieNoNookie -> RE: Definitive Answer (1/8/2015 7:16:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant An old thread was resurrected...whether or not this should be a paid site. They have advertisers here. Money. I don't know if the site charges to allow people to direct people to their sites in the "for sale" forum. I personally think if a Pro Dom/sub maintains a profile that indicates that the relationships sought are mainly financial...Money for services...then I think those folks should pay a fee of some sort. For the rest of us, My answer would be no. Mod 3, you lovely creature...this should take care of those "necros". I just made 25 cents off of your post.

NookieNotes -> RE: Definitive Answer (1/9/2015 3:03:04 AM)
~FR~ I've worked a site where photos were actually manually verified against a govt-issued ID. Those photos were marked as verified. I think it was $3.50 each, about 10 years ago. For ten, it was $20. Quite a few people took advantage. These days, it seems that exim-data could tell you a lot about provenance of a photo. Again, it's not that I'm saying this should happen, or that it would actually mean anything. I'm saying it is a way for a site to make money that many would take advantage of.

GoddessManko -> RE: Definitive Answer (1/9/2015 4:14:54 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NookieNotes ~FR~ I've worked a site where photos were actually manually verified against a govt-issued ID. Those photos were marked as verified. I think it was $3.50 each, about 10 years ago. For ten, it was $20. Quite a few people took advantage. These days, it seems that exim-data could tell you a lot about provenance of a photo. Again, it's not that I'm saying this should happen, or that it would actually mean anything. I'm saying it is a way for a site to make money that many would take advantage of. Hmmm...the only sites I see really use this feature nowadays are the one like the "WealthyMen" site, the millionaire meets gorgeous girl sites. They tend to verify their age, pic and income so girls feel safe flying across the country to meet them.I don't see female users leaping at this though and not sure if it will work on a kink site where many members worry about privacy.

NookieNotes -> RE: Definitive Answer (1/9/2015 4:45:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GoddessManko quote: ORIGINAL: NookieNotes ~FR~ I've worked a site where photos were actually manually verified against a govt-issued ID. Those photos were marked as verified. I think it was $3.50 each, about 10 years ago. For ten, it was $20. Quite a few people took advantage. These days, it seems that exim-data could tell you a lot about provenance of a photo. Again, it's not that I'm saying this should happen, or that it would actually mean anything. I'm saying it is a way for a site to make money that many would take advantage of. Hmmm...the only sites I see really use this feature nowadays are the one like the "WealthyMen" site, the millionaire meets gorgeous girl sites. They tend to verify their age, pic and income so girls feel safe flying across the country to meet them.I don't see female users leaping at this though and not sure if it will work on a kink site where many members worry about privacy. The site I worked on before actually was a kink site. Times may have changed... But again, I'm not saying the people in the fora would use this. We have (mostly) sharpened our skills and feel comfortable with our pickers. However, the average Jane wants to feel more secure with the average Joe, and that drives demand. It's weird psychology, but it gets the job done.

FieryOpal -> RE: Definitive Answer (1/9/2015 5:37:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: needlesandpins on that particular site I've been told that some refuse to meet others that don't already have verifications. Being a little silly here, what kinds of verifications get listed? Gives Good Chat? Better In Person? If I saw a guy's profile with a bunch of ratings or whatnot, that would actually turn me off. It would spell out player, or not a keeper. quote: ORIGINAL: needlesandpins then there are always those that think it's cool to post photos of themselves with another. Like the cropped shoulder of their ex-wife from a family vacation...years ago [8\|] When I informed one dude that it was tacky of him to have a pic up with his arm around a (much younger) woman, and did she know her photo was on his match.com profile, he replied with an LOL that it was his daughter! That made it even worse.

LiveSpark -> RE: Definitive Answer (1/9/2015 5:42:59 AM)
I am so with you FO. I wouldn't see a profile with a bunch of verifications as a plus - actually it wouldn't make me think that person to be any safer than someone without them. ANYONE can get a bunch of their friends to do it, as I said before it's unlikely a friend would do anything else. I much prefer to get to know them and take it slow offline before starting a relationship. So verification means nothing to me.

GoddessManko -> RE: Definitive Answer (1/9/2015 5:46:03 AM)
My pics are dated and timestamped so if he reads the name of the pic itself he will see how recent it is. I appreciate mutual courtesy but I don't expect it. My profile pics are of my favorite places and people spanning from my mid 20's to this year. Most of my travels have zero photos.

LiveSpark -> RE: Definitive Answer (1/9/2015 5:51:50 AM)
That to me is far more trustworthy. Barring the pics having been stolen, easily to prove- when we meet offline - and anyone who has stolen pics will refuse to meet offline and/or find excuses not to. So I find this to be much better proof someone is who they claim to be.

GoddessManko -> RE: Definitive Answer (1/9/2015 5:59:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LiveSpark That to me is far more trustworthy. Barring the pics having been stolen, easily to prove- when we meet offline - and anyone who has stolen pics will refuse to meet offline and/or find excuses not to. So I find this to be much better proof someone is who they claim to be. I always recommend cam verification like Skype. Too many people use pics from 20 years ago if they aren't stolen. I have heard so many hilarious horror stories, mine are not nearly that bad.

LiveSpark -> RE: Definitive Answer (1/9/2015 6:03:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GoddessManko quote: ORIGINAL: LiveSpark That to me is far more trustworthy. Barring the pics having been stolen, easily to prove- when we meet offline - and anyone who has stolen pics will refuse to meet offline and/or find excuses not to. So I find this to be much better proof someone is who they claim to be. I always recommend cam verification like Skype. Too many people use pics from 20 years ago if they aren't stolen. I have heard so many hilarious horror stories, mine are not nearly that bad. I was briefly with a dom who was claiming to be 55 years old. We met and it was SO clear he was in his 60s. There was just no way he was that young. I looked at his profile here shortly after I came back and he's now claiming to be 53. So either he found the fountain of youth or some poor subby is in for the shock of her life.

GoddessManko -> RE: Definitive Answer (1/9/2015 6:20:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LiveSpark I was briefly with a dom who was claiming to be 55 years old. We met and it was SO clear he was in his 60s. There was just no way he was that young. I looked at his profile here shortly after I came back and he's now claiming to be 53. So either he found the fountain of youth or some poor subby is in for the shock of her life. I have to put into practice not reading your posts while in mid conversation with people. I started chuckling while responding to questions from someone offline, it was pretty apparent I was multitasking since my laughter was random, LOL! I admit it's only happened to me on CS(twice and when I first joined), so the frequency of it not only among females but males as well is pretty high when there's fantasy in play. It's almost like they believe they look like their character on second life or they have no mirrors in their house to realize they look nothing like their picture. Many guys I have met though have it worse, not only do the girls not look like their pictures but are rude, mean and indulgent in what they wish the guy to spend on the date. Or they suddenly expect the guy to propose marriage because he is being polite enough to not ditch her at first sight and when he doesn't a tantrum ensues. Oh I have heard it all, LOL. I like to think I live vicariously through these stories, all so interesting, spice of life.

LiveSpark -> RE: Definitive Answer (1/9/2015 6:25:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GoddessManko quote: ORIGINAL: LiveSpark I was briefly with a dom who was claiming to be 55 years old. We met and it was SO clear he was in his 60s. There was just no way he was that young. I looked at his profile here shortly after I came back and he's now claiming to be 53. So either he found the fountain of youth or some poor subby is in for the shock of her life. I have to put into practice not reading your posts while in mid conversation with people. I started chuckling while responding to questions from someone offline, it was pretty apparent I was multitasking since my laughter was random, LOL! I admit it's only happened to me on CS(twice and when I first joined), so the frequency of it not only among females but males as well is pretty high when there's fantasy in play. It's almost like they believe they look like their character on second life or they have no mirrors in their house to realize they look nothing like their picture. Many guys I have met though have it worse, not only do the girls not look like their pictures but are rude, mean and indulgent in what they wish the guy to spend on the date. Or they suddenly expect the guy to propose marriage because he is being polite enough to not ditch her at first sight and when he doesn't a tantrum ensues. Oh I have heard it all, LOL. I like to think I live vicariously through these stories, all so interesting, spice of life. Sorry about that maybe I should put a warning at the top of my posts lol. The sad part is that he isn't the worst out there. I was new at the time and he did great things to help me. Far worse actually is that he's married (that part he told me) and - as I found out far too late - she doesn't have a clue he's doing this. This to me is the far more important lie and something I hope he has stopped doing though I doubt it since he isn't even honest about his age.

GoddessManko -> RE: Definitive Answer (1/9/2015 7:01:31 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LiveSpark Sorry about that maybe I should put a warning at the top of my posts lol. The sad part is that he isn't the worst out there. I was new at the time and he did great things to help me. Far worse actually is that he's married (that part he told me) and - as I found out far too late - she doesn't have a clue he's doing this. This to me is the far more important lie and something I hope he has stopped doing though I doubt it since he isn't even honest about his age. Haha, no need, I enjoy these kinds of exchanges. The marriage part is extremely common among men who seek online for relationships. Seeking online to me should be a last resort no matter the circumstance because it definitely is "needle in a haystack". But if you have a good screening process (we all need one because the internet is such a free for all) you can meet amazing people you typically won't. It gets so bad that you find people telling you to compromise on your core values to be unhappily coupled rather than blissfully uncoupled. Even really great guys can have everything right but ONE THING way wrong, which has been the case for me rather than walking into a trainwreck. It's nice to know you left a guy's head spinning and walked away. It teaches them.

Page: << < prev 2 3 4 [5] 6 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

4.296875E-02